If you have worked in customer service, what is the best nickname you gave to a customer?

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MahatmaAndhi@reddit

Not in retail, but we used to visit a nightclub weekly so some people got nicknames. The best was a guy with a leather jacket, pompadour, sunglasses and cowboy boots. He was of Asian descent, so he got nicknamed Johnny Kashmir.

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meejle@reddit

Old CeX nicknames:

The Smellies – Lord and Lady Smelly (crackhead couple) and Belly Smelly (their rotund relative)

Poo Boy – Boy who always stank of poo

The Storyteller / Dreamweaver – Put-together woman selling blatantly stolen goods, i.e. a pile of the same new-release DVD, all sealed. "It was my birthday yesterday, and everyone got me the same thing, would you believe it, etc etc!" 🙄

The Stallion – Italian, and very "tall, dark, and handsome". Gradually become "tall, dark, handsome, and alcoholic" during my time working there

Meat Loaf – Man who looked like Meat Loaf who used to creep one of the female staff members

Mrs Ballache – Actually "Balache", pronounced "bal-ash". But Ballache really suited her, in all fairness

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MahatmaAndhi@reddit

And that's just the staff...

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AmphibianNo1066@reddit

When I worked in a library, we had an older lady who would come in dressed in super short shorts and a cutoff shirt, no matter the weather. We called her Sexy Granny.

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discustedkiller@reddit

Gilf

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60sstuff@reddit

Work in a pub. Guy comes in everyday called Paul to Drink Peroni. Hence he is Paulroni

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weecuppatea@reddit

Not very creative but we had a Pot Noodle Lady. She'd come in and clear the shelves of Chicken and Mushroom Pot Noodles

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prustage@reddit

I worked in a record shop in the 1990s. A very attractive regular customer came in to collect a record she had ordered. I looked through the order book but couldn't see her name in there. She looked over my shoulder as I was running my finger down the orders. We found the date of the order, then ran down the list looking for the name of the album. There it was! And next to it, the name my colleague had written down - Miss Shagworthy.

Needless to say, that wasn't her actual name.

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-kAShMiRi-@reddit

Ooops!

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CourtshipDate@reddit

Pub Jerk-Off Man. He was barred from the pub next door to the weed shop I worked in because... well he liked an audience.

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antlered-godi@reddit

No one specific but the public were known as the great unwashed...

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

Spoons?

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Thomasinarina@reddit

Job centre plus?

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Zelda_Olivia@reddit

House of Lords

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VaginaBurner69@reddit

Chatham high street on a Friday evening.

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

Asian He-man He would come in on a Weds or Thurs afternoon, sometimes both, between 1-3 and order only chicken, all the different types of chicken we had on menu and eat it. Never ordered drinks or sides or anything else, just the chicken wings, legs, breast, chunks, nuggets.
He was a very muscly guy who obviously worked out loads. He was most likely Japanese. He also had a bleached blonde curtain hair style... Then the nearest gym shut and we only saw him once a month after that.

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grazzac@reddit

Used to have this old fella come into the posh hotel where I worked every week for tea and a scone. He proper stank. His nickname was stinky winky.

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Scarboroughwarning@reddit

Jesus (no, that's not the name)...we had tons.

I've forgotten most. But most clients had an alternative name, as did many of our colleagues.

Liquid Nitrogen...a guy that was named due to his real first name starting the same way.

Becky unlucky...the name says it all. She could throw a dice 100 times and never get more than 2.

Creeping Jesus...had these shoes that were borderline slippers

The nightstalker...not a humourous one...the freak really did look through windows at night.

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Suspicious_Edge8004@reddit

McFly… I worked in a super market when I was 16 - there was a customer who came in regularly who wore a red gillet - whenever he walked by we’d always yell ‘McFly!!!’

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313378008135@reddit

The brain donor

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Downtown-Ad-8516@reddit

We had this one guy who used to come in daily when I worked in the bookies. Neck brace, both arms in a cast, crutches you name it this guy had a different injury every week. He was nicknamed "falling apart man"

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Caltra@reddit (OP)

The thing is…it’s very factually accurate haha!

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silver_quinn@reddit

*Fracturslly accurate...sorry, I couldn't stop myself

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gemmajenkins2890@reddit

There's this lad who comes in sometimes on his own, sometimes with his mum. He blatantly has a disability along the lines of autism or something, and his mum is in a chair.

His nickname?

Rumpelforeskin.

Reason being is he came in once and literally looked like rumpelstiltskin, but because he can be a right knob(towards us/the way he treats his mum etc) whether that's in part due to his disability or not i dont know, he inherited the nickname rumpelforeskin...

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