They don't get as much cosmetic dentistry work done as Americans (especially historically).

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CosmicCreeperz@reddit

I was on a camping trip years ago and a friend of mine brought her intern coworker along. We stuck some beers in our pockets and went out wandering a bit, then realized no one brought an opener. The Irish intern said “no problem” and opened up 4 bottles with her teeth while we cringed. Heh, she was 19. That’s a lot of beer opening skill for a 19 year old.

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Easy_Gas8983@reddit

I was picturing they open beans like Popeye opens spinach, while we're in the states using ar15s to open our beans.

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XxFezzgigxX@reddit

gif

What, Lee and Perrin's?

I went to a brewery that had a restaurant and they had a margherita-style pizza that included smoked cherry tomatoes. It was good, but very different.

You will need:

1- 1 tin of beans

2- 2 slices bread

3- 1 can opener

4- 0 taste buds

xAGGROx@reddit

And cheese

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guilty_bystander@reddit

This is my favorite post of the day now

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SadBit8663@reddit

The recipe is in the name. Baked beans and toast.

Like what 🤣.

I'm sure this disgusting paste that you have to carefully apply tastes great in your mind but I highly doubt that's the reason most people from other places don't like it.

My local discount store was selling off truffle marmite. Oh ho.. I was in my element. How many jars do you think I bought?

Hint: I'm still eating my way through them

Hint: this was 2021

How can anyone not like Marmite!

What kind o' Brit are you?

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Loud_Ad_9187@reddit

I eat it but the spoon full. It tastes good I like the rich taste of it. It is a really good way to get your b12 when levels are low

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RedditSpyAccount@reddit

I just drank this whole bottle of fish sauce and it was stinky and gross. I don’t see why people use this in food.

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Endreeemtsu@reddit

Yeah you only need a small taste for that. Smh

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Deako87@reddit

It's like taking a bite out of an onion like it's an apple

Watching people incorrectly try Vegemite and whinge about it make me sad

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Correct_Succotash988@reddit

Omg I did that with Vegemite once and good lord I thought I was going to die.

The dude who introduced it to me was a freak and insisted on an incredibly thick layer. Big mistake for a newbie

Fair enough. I’m certainly no arbiter of poutine (case in point: I’ve never even had any), but you really piqued my curiosity drawing that connection. Thank you for elaborating. And honestly? I get it.

Now I want some beans n toast (and poutine, for that matter).

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PROwly@reddit

It is on friggin bread! Think Pizza, tomato base or maple syrup?

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Firewall33@reddit

Maple syrup on bread? Bread like pancakes and waffles? Maple beans on toast is absolutely delicious. Also am Canadian.

Sorry

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RickGrimes30@reddit

Maple taste like shit.. It's like if honey could go bad

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FeetsBeneets@reddit

I've never seen anyone be so definitively and objectively wrong before.

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deeteeohbee@reddit

Maple is the most overrated condiment (condiment?) period end of story case closed sayonara

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Azorik22@reddit

Get out of my house.

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Firewall33@reddit

gif

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ProbablythelastMimsy@reddit

BBQ chicken pizza is very popular

Beans on toast is disgusting no matter how you cope

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OI as an aussie I love my baked beans on toast. I do however generally use 1/5th as much though.

what?! Hienz is sweet, watery crap. Greeks and turks know how to make actual savoury beans like this https://www.thevegspace.co.uk/recipe-quick-easy-tomato-and-herb-gigantes-beans/

I've had holiday functions at about 6 different homes through my travels there, but also just pretty much anyone's apartment/home for a regular meal. These places have all been in Arizona, Texas, Florida and Georgia!

If you were really British you’d know Branstons beans are where it’s at.

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snapper1971@reddit

Branston are minging.

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omniwrench-@reddit

I said Heinz because it’s the original for a lot of Brits

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CuriouslyImmense@reddit

I'm glad to see that my assumptions (not a photographer) were right about the light being the problem. I would have said it looked a bit washed out, but muddy is now a new term I will use!

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qalpi@reddit

It's not the light!

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qalpi@reddit

They're the wrong beans.

pickaberry@reddit

These particular beans are sold by Heinz, but only in the UK, starting in 1886.

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nucumber@reddit

American baked beans are different from what the Brits use, less sweet and more tomato

To be clear, I think this is meant to say that Brit baked beans are less sweet and have more tomato than American

American baked beans have several times the amount of sugar as British. Waaaaaay too sweet. (FWIW I'm American)

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Nugginzz@reddit

I usually add a bit of Ketchup, brown sugar, Worcestershire, butter, and black pepper in a pot and warm them up. Heinz beans are awfully plain.

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They changed the recipe a few years back and are subpar now. Supermarket own brands are now pretty similar to them.

Their pickle sucks though. Been making ploughman's sandwiches because my daughter enjoys them. We used to use Heinz, but I can't get it anymore.

CD274@reddit

Thanks! Because I know it'll taste way better made from scratch

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Huge-Basket244@reddit

Healthy-Foundation70@reddit

Right?😂

They're just messing with you. There's no way the problem was the brand of beans.

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Huge-Basket244@reddit

What? It's a huge difference. If you buy 'baked beans' in the US VS the UK you'll get VERY different products.

While you are correct in some aspects of your comment I just want to clarify, I think this person was under the assumption y’all eat Boston style baked beans on toast. Boston style baked beans have a completely different purpose and are often smokey with bacon and molasses.

The kind the brita use are typically with a tomato based sauce right?

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agoia@reddit

Yes a tomato base like pork and beans

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Rodrat@reddit

You can buy the imported UK beans at almost all grocery stores here in the US.

Not a fan of the ones I've had. Also not a fan of the canned US beans. Far too sweet. Which is a shame as true homemade baked beans are some of the gdliest foods around.

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FerretMilking@reddit

They would be worse, no idea how you could say American baked beans on toast would be bad

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paddyo@reddit

if you used american baked beans you basically poisoned yourself. Those are completely and utterly different, it is hard to describe just how different.

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Cantdrawbutcanspell@reddit

British baked beans are more like spaghetti-Os if you’ve ever had them. You gotta get the blue Heinz baked beans in the states.

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Bullshit-_-Man@reddit

Didn’t use Heinz. No cheese. Says it’s bad.

Sure! But if we were to use that criteria in this context, then Coca-Cola is a "British brand" and Harley-Davidson is a "Brazilian brand". I'm not convinced that interpretation is really what OP was going for - particularly since they are talking about purchasing it in the US, meaning that it's being produced neither by a company based in the UK, nor a factory located in the UK.

PassiveMenis88M@reddit

And nothing you wrote refutes the fact that it's an American company.

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Sensitive_Yellow_121@reddit

They're all multinational, global food companies now.

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Estrellathestarfish@reddit

A brand that makes British style baked beans. Buying just "baked beans" will get you something different that would be odd on toast.

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linerva@reddit

Yup.

And even if you are in the UK, a lot of the supermarket own brand beans are nowhere near as tasty as Heinz or Branston etc.

lanceacr@reddit

The beaniest beans.

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Jakeball400@reddit

Jesus Christ. This it like making a coffee, pouring it over your head and complaining it’s bad

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BaconNamedKevin@reddit

I mean you didn't even make it right lol

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Destructo-Bear@reddit (OP)

I thought the recipe was to put beans on toast. I am sorry

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MegaJackUniverse@reddit

Don't be sorry. Beans on toast are an abomination.

CrustyToeLover@reddit

I've literally never seen beans and toast where the brit didn't dump the whole can?

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AlmostZeroEducation@reddit

Well im a Kiwi thats how i have beans on toast. I add a slice of cheese to melt in too

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PassiveMenis88M@reddit

mean would you scoop out the whole jar of peanut butter and put it on a piece of bread?

Yes?

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eekopocs@reddit

Every time i’ve seen pics of beans on toast it’s literally a fuckton of beans on one or two slices. I’m not judging it I’m just saying lol.

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Impeachcordial@reddit

Cheese and a fried egg or I riot

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I_want_to_cum24@reddit

Not necessary, I agree. But it’s a beautiful little cherry on top

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Efficient_Steak_7568@reddit

It should pile a bit. Basically one tin of beans and two slices of toast. Just need a big enough plate that the beans don't overwhelm the toast

Tortillas aren't spongy and absorbent like bread is, I hate beans and toast but will eat refried beans on a tortilla all day long, and I'm whiter than sour cream.

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AlabasterBuhlaster@reddit

will eat refried beans on a tortilla all day long, and I'm whiter than sour cream.

It's just...weirdly dry, isn't it?

It looks like OP only showed the bread to their toaster from across the room and then dumped a cheap can of beans on top.

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W4ND3RZ@reddit

colour

gif

So wrong. It's the worst.

It has basically no taste. It's just sugar with a vague hint of tomato.

The only thing it's good for is really salty fries.

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Destructo-Bear@reddit (OP)

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1CocteauTwin@reddit

Then you're an animal and we can't help you.

Sorry

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Destructo-Bear@reddit (OP)

I really fuckin love ketchup

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1CocteauTwin@reddit

Thats fine, your commitment to ketchup is admirable. But you made toast and didn't butter it.

Haha never thought of it as a health/taste decision, more of a “I might make cookies with this butter” decision. My priorities are showing

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DragonScrivner@reddit

I get it! I usually buy unsalted myself (because baking) but I have had conversations with people who are like 'What person in their right mind cares if their butter is salted?" gif

I'm american af

Toast the bread

Butter the Toast

Top with heinz baked beans

Top buttered bean Toast with cheddar cheese

Broil

British baked beans aren't the US version of baked beans, which are really just beans soaked in barbecue sauce, molasses, brown sugar, and corn syrup. They're in a tomato sauce instead - get pork and beans (note for Brits - those are not, as the name implies, those cans of baked beans with cocktail sausages inside.) For good beans on toast you want thick cut bread, that is too thin.

You also don't put that much on, your bean to bread ratio is embarrassing. Just mentally eyeballing, a quarter cup on each will probably be perfect.

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saucynorman@reddit

Do you also make a tea in the microwave?

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Old_Promise2077@reddit

That second sentence tho...

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thmonster@reddit

I had Chinese version of baked beans, was like peanuts in ketchup, should have declared war there and then for that fucking abomination.

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CdnMom21@reddit

Put some hot dogs in there and make it edible

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mofomeat@reddit

Not British, but I eat beans on toast for breakfast most every day. It works quite well.

This is like if a Brit got a hotdog and painted the whole thing with mustard and ketchup and said it was bad.

therealjoe12@reddit

Yeah no shit. Brits can't cook worth a shit.

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FrotKnight@reddit

If you're in Brazil and your dad comes home from the Harley factory on his work-issued motorbike you can be forgiven for saying it's a Brazilian company. That doesn't make it a Brazilian company. Are you struggling with the nuance I'm describing? I haven't said either isn't American, I'm saying that the person who did say it could be forgiven a little for not getting it right.

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Conto__@reddit

Motherfucker you’re supposed to portion it out 😭

Honestly, that's how many beans I have on mine. I like my toast quite dark, with butter and a mature cheddar on the toast, then load's of beans on top. Then some buttered toast around the edges to stay crisp. Good for scooping beans onto and then there's the fully saturated slice underneath to look forward to.

I don't know if there's any difference in ingredients, but Heinz baked beans, Warburtons Toastie loaf, and a nice West country extra mature cheddar or red fox red leister for some extra tang. A quick squirt of ketchup in the beans and cook then down a bit, so they start getting a little bit broken and thicker sauce. Black pepper and scrambled eggs are also great accompaniments.

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iLuvwaffless@reddit

Bro I know we clown on our neighbors across the pond for their culinary masterpieces but how the fuck do you make it even worse 😂😂🤣🤣

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hallucinating@reddit

I am British and beans on toast is overrated. Beans and cheese on a jacket spud though, with butter, salt and plenty of black pepper, is a beautiful meal.

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Independent-Ear-3352@reddit

Put an egg on top !

gif

Toast the bread more
Butter the toast
Use Heinz baked beans in the international section
Use the amount of beans
add some grated cheese on top

It's byb...

The katsup opinion is acceptable. lol.

That just looks like very poorly toasted bread. You need the CRUNCH and butter.

Also why’d you dump a whole can on them

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gladmoon@reddit

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Destructo-Bear@reddit (OP)

RIP in peace to your grandma too

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trowawHHHay@reddit

Thanks. Been quite a few years, and she trucked along to 101.5 years.

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Ratatataratatatata@reddit

Relevant

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Marklar-1994@reddit

That’s disgusting

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50pciggy@reddit

It’s beans on toast not toast submerged in beans

I love it when non British people intentionally make our dishes wrong in an attempt to deny the god given goodness of beans on toast XD

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ChemicalToiletRoadie@reddit

And worchester sauce. nice cat

- Square_Weather_8137

^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^Learn more about me.

^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

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Zedaso@reddit

Did it wrong! Need half a can not 3 full cans. Toast the bread more, butter it better, sprinkle some cheese on some piping hot quality beans like Branston so it melts. Perfect.

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I don’t think breakfast is their specialty

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your_star_arr@reddit

Gotta make sure you had the right beans too

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indignantfly@reddit

Toast the bread, cook and season (gasp!) the beans until the sauce is thick. Spoon 1/4-1/2 cup on the toast and top with an amount of cheese that makes you happy.

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Ninja-Trix@reddit

And this is why people make fun of the British, because nobody can understand the simplicity of cooking an easy meal. It’s like using water instead of milk for Macaroni & Cheese and complaining it tastes like cardboard.

Okay, here’s what you do: - In a frying pan, cook a small amount of sausage, allowing the grease to coat the pan and breaking it up into tiny chunks. Cook normally. - Empty a can of beans (preferably pork beans, yes the type of bean affects the flavor) into the frying pan and cook on medium-low heat. Carefully stir the beans around so that they cook evenly and don’t burn. - You’ll know the beans are done when you can run the spoon down the middle and can see the pan. You basically just cook off the water so they have the right consistency. - You can have your bread toasting while the food cooks. When done, lightly butter. - Place toast open face onto a large plate and pour the sausage beans atop them.

There you go. It should be not only edible, but good.

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paddyonelad@reddit

Message me for the perfect recipe. I beans on toast.

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Hollowbody57@reddit

Wrong kind of beans and way too much of them, with what looks like Kraft singles, and it looks like you just waved your bread in the general direction of the toaster and called it good.

Blue tin Heinz beans, super sharp cheddar, and toast that's actually seen the inside of a toaster for more than a few seconds.

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gromit1991@reddit

Beans on Toast is delight if done right. The basics are:

Decent thickness of bread 18-20mm (3/4"). Preferably not prevent sliced. Toasted close to the heat source so the outside crisps up but the inside stays softer.

Butter. Salted. Lots.

Good quality beans; Heinz for example.

As others have said get the proportions right one full tin is probably to much for two slices of toast.

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pippitypoop@reddit

Did you warm them up or butter your bread?

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Preemptively_Extinct@reddit

Over beaned and under portioned toast.

Key-Control7348@reddit

As an American, I'm gonna go ahead and speak for the brits here.

You have to dip the whole thing in tea, beans n all.

Rubbish, anything else is, innit?

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Expansive_Rope_1337@reddit

Did you make sure they're cold? Did you include vinegar and "curry" sauce?

Beans undercooked and sauce not reduced enough. No butter in your beans. Under toasted bread. Too many beans.

Fucking amateur.

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StarWars_Viking@reddit

I'm not British, and I doubt I would enjoy this in any form, but it looks like you may have a tad too many beans on it.

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Cautious_Solution712@reddit

You didn't put cheese on it get out

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Blastoplast@reddit

gif

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LordJambrek@reddit

I agree too. Just dropped the comment to piss the brits off :)

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DidierCrumb@reddit

Yeah, it's a cheap, quick and filling thing that's at least got some token vegetable matter. Good for feeding kids quickly and for people to make when they're just starting to cook or want something simple to prepare.

It's a comforting and nostalgic thing for a lot of people, but anyone who claims it's genuinely delicious is probably not much of a foodie.

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