Anon is a wizard
Posted by acfc22@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 56 comments
Posted by acfc22@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 56 comments
MOONDAYHYPE@reddit
WHAT?! BUT I BOUGHT THE FUCKING WAND!!!!
Background_Fish2946@reddit
Anyone else thinking about Bo Burnham? “magic isn’t real you idiot, read a book!”
Fuzzy-Spread9720@reddit
Firelegs
Benetton_Cumbersome@reddit
It's funny that this is not a montage, and it's from an actual movie.
BlueBanditThe1@reddit
I fucking love that movie lol
PupEDog@reddit
It's indeed a movie
cancrena@reddit
But is it one of the movies of all time?
BlueBanditThe1@reddit
Yes. Yes it is.
BlueBanditThe1@reddit
The best movie :3
EccentricNerd22@reddit
SmaugRancor@reddit
hundenkattenglassen@reddit
Bro, only wands from KingCobraJFS actually works with magic. Every other wand is a scam.
I mean think about it, he charges 500 USD for a wand and a handwritten certificate. That alone should tell you it’s the real deal. Also the fact that he can do chi energy balls on demand is further proof of this authenticity. He literally ended ISIS by casting a spell on them.
Dumbass anon buying wands from Amazon, no wonder they don’t work. I got a meat wand in my pants whose magic powers is it can impregnate females and fake ass poser anon can suck it after I cast Suckius Dickius Deepthroatus.
Explorer_the_No-life@reddit
You either learn to control your ape's brain power with a lot of effort or you have to wait until 30 years old as a virgin, and even then it doesn't work for everyone.
dogemeemsdude@reddit
Maybe try something simpler before trying to summon a futanari succubus
VRisNOTdead@reddit
go big or go home i say. Summon two instead.
Richiefur@reddit
one for front and one for back, take it like a real man
ImmortalMemeLord@reddit
Isn't that just an Incubus
GruntBlender@reddit
An incubus half way through the transition.
Glass-Opportunity713@reddit
NO! AN INCUBUS IS MALE! I WANT A BIG TITTY GOTH DEMON WAIFU WITH A PENIS! IT'S DIFFERENT!
Sbotkin@reddit
Yeah but that's why I started to learn magic
audiodude5171@reddit
you called?
Maelorus@reddit
Magic may be real, but you shouldn't fuck with it in any case.
Friendship is the magic most people ever need. Unironically.
Sad_Notice4952@reddit
Where can I find a book on enlarging my penis using Magic? I tried every conventional method but i cant break past half a inch of length
DeltaPQRST@reddit
Can't fix what isn't there in the first place
Maelorus@reddit
Either you learn to accept it, or the lesser key of Solomon.
ReallyDumbRedditor@reddit
Maybe stay a virgin until 40? That's what people on the interwebz keep saying you need to do in order to become a wizard.
1v1mecaestusm8@reddit
Goddamn wizard inflation, I was told you get your powers at 30!
Ornery-Breadfruit-47@reddit
How did my dad disappear then?
Sex_drugs_tacos@reddit
Anon not getting the proper anus depth to wizard shaft ratio; mana production not stimulated
parrote3@reddit
The scrolls my old master tasked me with reading explained that more thrusts per minute mean faster mana regen where depth x girth equals higher total mana pool. Masters have obviously maxed out both stats whereas apprentices can really only excel at one of these at a time.
acfc22@reddit (OP)
He forgot, mana is stored in the testicles.
HerbLoew@reddit
See, that's what they don't tell you about becoming a wizard. It's not just about not fucking, it's also about not nutting.
HamBlamBlam@reddit
I’ve heard that speed has something to do with it
MrPopanz@reddit
Speed has everything to do with it!
BemusedBengal@reddit
Anon is Wicken
TildeGunderson@reddit
I know a black magic spell you can cast that'll change everyone's opinion of you. You just gotta scream N*GGER in a crowd.
BemusedBengal@reddit
Make sure you put the magical black poultice on your face first.
cryo24@reddit
Classic warrior spell "Mass taunt"
Satanic__crusader@reddit
Because your wand is Harry Potter merchandise, your incantations are pseudo-latin Lorem Ipsum Dolor sit amet level gibberish, your robes are nonexistent, your hat has a logo and a tag that says "made in Bangladesh", your beard is on your neck, your intent is weak, your rituals don't involve anything harder than drawing a shitty pentagram on paper with a pencil, you got no grimoire, you got no orb, no staff, no willpower to override creation, and NO MAIDENS!
ImmortalMemeLord@reddit
That's a pretty accurate application for anon and Tumblr "witches"
ImmortalMemeLord@reddit
Anon needs to sacrifice more babies, everyone knows for magic to really work you need some blood spilt
Megtalallak@reddit
There is a really strong spell that gives the "Disgust" statuseffect to everyone in hearing distance. It goes: "UWU, Bazinga, everypony!"
Wolfie_Tooting2@reddit
Anon wants to get topped by JK Rowling
FallenSegull@reddit
Anon you don’t unlock your magic until you turn 30 and become a wizard you dumb fuck
Glass-Opportunity713@reddit
I'll be there in 4 months! Will report on how my powers manifest.
EldritchElise@reddit
Same as literally any spiritual endeavour. you just gotta believe in it.
some sort of faith, if you will.
OmgJustLetMeExist@reddit
Soypilled mugglejak copes with the fact that he’ll never be a magicmaxxing wizardchad
2based2cringe@reddit
But what about my wizard powers…
Aggressive___Trash@reddit
Anon just needs to shove his wand up his ass to experience real magic
Ozymandias_1303@reddit
Maybe the real magic was the friends anon never made along the way.
Loading0987@reddit
Umineko
MagiStarIL@reddit
Another goblin psyop
oldmonkforeva@reddit
Muggles can't understand
295DVRKSS@reddit
anon is jk rowling pilled
TESTlCLE@reddit
Anon needs to research the ancient (green)texts…
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/s/ecKrhZajEB
Uberdragon_bajulabop@reddit
Average conversation between an Elf wizard and a Barbarian with 100 magic resistance.