Let me tell you folks, these accusations—fake news, total nonsense. You know, they’re coming at me with all this garbage, saying, “Oh, Trump did this, Trump did that.” Total lies. You know, they’re trying to distract from the real issues. The economy was the best it’s ever been under me, right? But now, they want to talk about these made-up stories. It’s just like the Russia hoax. Remember that? First, it was Russia, then Ukraine, now this. They throw everything at me, but it’s all false. It's a disgrace. You know who’s behind it? The radical left. And they hate America, they hate it so much that they’re ruining everything, even the windmills—terrible, by the way. You see these windmills, right? 

Let me tell you about the windmills, okay? They’re killing our birds, folks. But nobody talks about that. They’re just like the accusations—completely made up. No one’s worried about the birds! They talk about climate change, but guess what? You know who’s really changing the climate? These windmills. They’re making everything worse. The birds are falling out of the sky, folks, it’s unbelievable. But the fake news doesn’t want you to know that. It’s all part of the same scheme, right? They accuse me of nonsense while pushing these windmills that are doing more damage than good. And then they’ll say I don’t care about the environment—fake news again! I love the environment! The cleanest water, the cleanest air, and we were doing so great with that, folks, the best numbers.

But they won’t tell you that. No, they’d rather talk about me, always me, and not the real issues. Like the showers, okay? You turn on the shower, and nothing comes out. You know why? Because of regulations. They’re regulating everything. It’s just like the windmills—everything is slow, everything is weak, just like Sleepy Joe. Can you imagine him turning on a shower? He wouldn’t even know how to do it. I get the best water, folks, the best showers. I made sure of that. We got rid of those regulations, and now the water flows, okay? It’s strong. People are thanking me.

Speaking of water, let’s talk about the toilets. This is important, folks. You flush, and nothing happens. It’s a disaster, just like the Democrats. It’s like their policies—flush 10 times, 20 times, and still nothing. The worst. And now they want to blame me for everything—first the economy, then the toilets, and now, it’s me in the media 24/7. They’re obsessed with me! Why? Because we were winning. We were winning so much they couldn’t stand it. You see it, right? The stock market was through the roof, the best employment numbers ever, and now it’s all crashing. But no, they’d rather talk about windmills and toilets instead of fixing the country.

And you know what else they don’t want to talk about? China. China is laughing at us, folks. They were terrified of me, but with Biden, they’re laughing. They’re sending over balloons, and he doesn’t even know it. Meanwhile, I’m being attacked with these fake accusations—again. It’s just like the toilets and windmills, folks—nothing works right anymore! And Sleepy Joe, he doesn’t know how to fix it. He doesn’t even know where he is half the time.

But you know, under me, we fixed everything. We had the strongest military, the strongest economy, and believe me, folks, we had the best water pressure, the best.