I'm sure he only meant it as a joke. Trust me, as a car guy, most of us are dolts. We sent memes and Crack jokes but don't really mean any harm by it. Most of us just don't think about any secondary meanings someone might take it as. He probably meant it as just a joke, not even thinking about the situation with your dad needing a kidney, and surely not trying to hurt your feelings in any way.

But I have 3 things I feel need to be said on this. 1: Tell your husband how that joke made you feel. It might burst his fun bubble for a bit, but communication is key to a healthy relationship. You don't want to spend years being offended by jokes he could avoid making altogether.

2: Recognize that when he's sending/telling a joke, there's often times no deeper meaning than just being a joke. There's usually not going to be a jab at current situations, personal attacks, or digs at insecurities or worries.

3: The money part and shuffling cars is a temporary phase for most of us, usually won't make it past 18 months because most of us realize it's not sustainable, so we just try to pick one and stick to it. If it continues beyond that, there's a problem. This particular point is another one of those things you should sit down with your husband and talk about.

Now before you sit your husband down, be sure to try and think about what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. You don't want to make it into an argument, because then he'll see it as you just being spiteful over a joke he meant no harm with. Then instead of "Us vs the problem" it becomes "Me against you."

Make it clear from the start that you're not trying to start an argument, but rather you were uncomfortable with the joke he made and would prefer he didn't make those kinds of jokes anymore. And also be clear that you're not trying to stop him from being a car guy. But rather that you're just concerned about his spending and constantly switching cars around.

And another thing: Don't be afraid or angry at the idea of compromise. One of the biggest things that affects relationships today is 1 party wants the other to change their ways to fit their desires, but is entirely unwilling to do the same to help the relationship be stable, and it just causes a very lopsided relationship dynamic that only ends badly.

A separate personal suggestion from me, which might just strengthen your relationship a little as well, try learning about cars and spending time with him and his newfound passion. And I'm not saying to go into the garage, jump onto the fender, and start adjusting his valve timing for him. Just that you show a little interest and spend some time with him, even if it's just handing him tools or scrolling FB Marketplace while he rattles off about any and every car he knows about. It will make him feel like you actually care and want to be around him, and support his passion; even if the spending is a concern you address.

Bonus points if you take the initiative to learn about the cars he likes so you can talk to him about them in a meaningful manner and have it actually make sense to both of you. And learn about the mods and how they work. This will also help you understand what the mods are for, as well as monitor his spending more easily. Because when he says "I wanna put twin turbos on the M4" you can actually talk to him about it and maybe suggest a cheaper alternative that won't destroy that poor baby BMW motor so easily.

But yeah, the main points are just in communication. If he doesn't know it's a problem, it's going to 110% blindside him when you finally snap and either lose it on him or leave him. Because he won't have known it's an issue, much less that it's that bad of an issue. Now if the behaviors continue after you've talked to him, then that's his problem anyways.