Anon asks the real question
Posted by mestrenandi@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 485 comments
Posted by mestrenandi@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 485 comments
tortilla_curtain@reddit
Fat black women are the ultimate diversity hires.
Street_Text7535@reddit
It's because they score the easiest ESG points. No really, that's the reason.
tortilla_curtain@reddit
Fat, female, black. Checks all important boxes.
Street_Text7535@reddit
3 points right there. Give her no boyfriend visible or a toss away like like "I dun care about no man" that's another point for implied gay.
This is the reason you see black women so much in secondary roles.
tortilla_curtain@reddit
50 bucks you are right with the gay part. Diversity maxxing.
Street_Text7535@reddit
I'm not "right", this is how the score works. This is 2024, not 2010. We already know companies finance this shit and the major one Blackrock is very vocal about this.
The higher the movie's ESG score, the better the financing. This is why you keep saying nonsense woke stuff that makes you scratch your head and it's even more transparent in lower budget stuff like Netflix productions where suddenly half the cast is gay and everyone's a minority.
Google it, it's been out of the "dur dur tinfoil hat" bin for the last decade
gurneyguy101@reddit
Do you have a source for the ESG score funding stuff? It sounds credible but I wanna make sure
TheChiliarch@reddit
I'm not being bitter, I'm just also too lazy myself but I've scene coverage that did seem pretty legit so it's likely if you google it you will find in depth breakdowns.
gurneyguy101@reddit
Ok, I’ll give that a go, thanks!
tortilla_curtain@reddit
Never heard of that. Sounds interesting but a bit tinfoili tho. Could be an interesting read.
Street_Text7535@reddit
I know, I have a feeling it's also the point. Why call your "let's change behaviors" BLACKROCK? That sounds stupidly evil
DickviperAU@reddit
you gotta have a degree in tiktok skibidi sigma to know that shit
Frequent_Beat4527@reddit
Also lesbian
NoggyClassic@reddit
If the first thing you think when you see a black person in a movie is “diversity hire”, you are racist. She is an accomplished actor in her own right, the fact that you dismiss all that just to make a cheap joke makes you racist. Yes even you reading this right now who thinks the same, you are racist.
OrLiveaLie@reddit
Bonus points if she'd still be unattractive even if she were skinny.
Frequent_Beat4527@reddit
Also lesbian
DementedNecron@reddit
i remember her from Peacemaker, she's a good actress imo
HingleMcCringle_@reddit
i'd be surprised to learn if she represents the average Minecraft player in any way
BigDicksProblems@reddit
Minecraft sold 300 million fucking copies, talking about any "average player" is braindead at best.
HingleMcCringle_@reddit
nah, there's definitely a demographic of the average Minecraft player, someone who puts in more hours than others.
head in the sand, im afraid.
Evadingbansisfun@reddit
this dipshit would be surprised = irrefutable
seekR4621@reddit
She was really good in Orange is the New Black too
tortilla_curtain@reddit
I don’t know her tbh. Could be. Not hating here seriously but this picture just screams corpo.
Spanker_of_Monkeys@reddit
Wow, hate speech much? It's called "plus size" you Nazi
dovahkin1989@reddit
Hopefully there's an in-universe lore reason why she's obese, and maybe she put on weight for the role.
Hopefully its not that it's just the actor is a lazy fuck who couldn't be bothered to lose weight for her job...
laxalaus@reddit
the costume is obviously tailored to fit her body. i don't think it's because she's a "lazy fuck"
Wraeghul@reddit
Obviously it’s the latter.
keeleon@reddit
Hopefully she's also a lesbian.
Chauliodus@reddit
her jacket is the lesbian pride flag colors
Reading_username@reddit
Is... Is this supposed to be like, a minecraft movie?
Stlr_Mn@reddit
Yes. I think it’s funny that people here think this awful movie won’t make fabulous amounts of money. Did people forget about the horse shit Mario movie? That made 1.4 billion
BonkeyKongthesecond@reddit
I kinda liked that Mario Movie tbh. Was forced to watch it with my GF, but ended up watching it twice again after that already. Sure, the whole Peach is the Hero, is a bit annoying, but besides that it could have been way worse
FriendlyUsernamee@reddit
the entire Mario movie is in the trailers basically. ruined my experience watching it, story is sooooo bad (looked beautiful tho)
spectraldominoc@reddit
You sound veery frustrated
Ck_shock@reddit
It wasn't bad though ,at least imo.
This is why I like that I can just turn on the lizard part of my brain and just watch a movie with out being hyper critical of it.
JoeDaBruh@reddit
“Horribly mid”? “Modern slop”?
It was a kids movie bro. Like I agree a lot of movies recently are trash but at the same time the expectation for movies is really high. You’re not gonna get a banger for every movie, and the Mario movie seemed like something specifically for kids to enjoy
XanthraOW@reddit
Based
grayman519@reddit
Let's not forget the movie was made for actual children and not a 30 year old man-child. Kids like CGI and simple humor. The fact that you want more is like someone throwing a fit in chuck e cheese for not having filet mignon with a truffle butter glaze. Please stop going to see kids movies with the expectation they are gonna be Lord of the rings quality and acknowledge that you were not the target audience.
MATMAN_PL@reddit
It wasn't bad though. Apart from chris pratt voicing Mario that is, and even that wasn't bad
mouthtalk@reddit
I mean, it couldn’t be bad. They played it as safe as could be by slapping a mario skin over a hero’s journey script they pulled out of the cabinet.
DanfordThePom@reddit
Nothing wrong with hero’s journey. Especially for Mario of all characters
MATMAN_PL@reddit
What saved it for me was the amount of easter eggs and callbacks to the history of the franchise. They are almost in every scene. Yes it is hero's journey reskinned but done well. Wasn't a masterpiece i admit but it was decent.
ssslitchey@reddit
Compared to other movies that follow the same formula it wasn't done that well. It's the bare minimum you could do to make the heros journey structure work.
chillanous@reddit
A lot like wreck it Ralph in that regard. Every scene was chock full of references and homages to the games.
So what if it was a simple heroes journey? The whole point was to have fun with established characters in a nonsensical universe made up of decades of combined games and genres. They did a pretty good job of it, it was an enjoyable watch.
It’s not like the Mario movie was going to be some deep, subversive plot that really Said Something.
SLEDGEHAMMAA@reddit
The score is what kept me watching. You could tell if nothing else, someone enjoyed cooking up that score
Key_Catch7249@reddit
You can apply hero’s journey to nearly every story
HerrTriggerGenji21@reddit
No shit. What else would it be? lol
legopego5142@reddit
I mean, what did you expect from the MARIO movie. He saves Peach from the dinosaur, thats all its ever been
Rgeneb1@reddit
Spoiler tag that shit man. I'm still on level 1-1 and you just ruined my game.
leastemployableman@reddit
I thought it was going to be Horrible after finding out the casting, but they actually did a really good job in universe with it while still respecting Charles Martinets legacy. Anyone that thinks the mario movie was "bad" just wants to hate it because it was popular. My kids loved it and I enjoyed watching it with them and at the end of the day that's what makes a good family flick.
huskinater@reddit
I actually thought the casting was mostly fine. It was really just Pratt (and Anya Taylor Joy, but she's amazing it's just that she was kinda new still) that had me a little concerned, but Pratt has been working on doing voice roles for a while and he's not terrible.
Charlie Day as Luigi is fucking inspired, and Jack Black did a fantastic job. Maybe Seth Rogen was the weakest choice, but he still did okay.
leastemployableman@reddit
Charlie day was the best casting choice for sure. He made the movie feel more in Line with "super mario brothers super show" which was great
bell37@reddit
Thing is. I can’t imagine Charles Martinets Mario talking for more than a few seconds let alone being the lead in a full length movie.
The longest uninterrupted lines Mario had was an old Mario Teaches Typing game and just listening to a few minutes of it gives me a headache. I can’t imagine a full length 90 minute film of that.
bunker_man@reddit
As iconic as Charles martinet is, he isn't synonymous with Mario. Mario was a thing before him, and talked differently, so there's no reason he can't at other times.
NibPlayz@reddit
Comparing Mario’s first trailer to this one is night and day.
MATMAN_PL@reddit
True. This is a dumpster fire as of now, and I really hope it'll get at least sonic treatment
PixelSteel@reddit
The fact Sonic currently has a trilogy going for itself is pretty insane to think about
samyxxx@reddit
They got lucky jim carrey were on the rowing olimpic team and played his A game cuz he carried the shit out of everyone on that movie.
huskinater@reddit
The Sonic movies are reasonably fine family friendly flicks with a couple of solid good scenes sprinkled along. Jim Carrey seemingly having a blast is also a plus, and there is still a little bit of that easter egg nostalgia.
That's more than enough to get a couple sequels. They aren't bad movies, I'd even say they are a bit above average.
cannedrex2406@reddit
Yeah but now they have fucking Idris Elba and Keanu Reeves in it
ITS CYBERPUNK PHANTOM LIBERTY ALL OVER AGAIN
sluraplea@reddit
Not the trilogy we need but the movie we deserve
GeekyNexi@reddit
Kids don’t watch it for Eggman though
AccessTheMainframe@reddit
Parents agree to take them to see Jim Carrey though
PixelSteel@reddit
I’m a pretty big fan of Sonic’s design in that movie honestly. Not too human like the OG design, but barely human enough to feel somewhat relatable - if that makes sense
ArthurBonesly@reddit
Agreed, a bad but movie is always more interesting than generic kids cartoon plot #2.
blarglefart@reddit
Evvvverrrryyything is the heros journey when you get down to it.
DarkArc76@reddit
Aren't most stories a form of the Hero's Journey and that's why it's even a thing? To describe the general plot of a story
MATMAN_PL@reddit
Well it is a general reccuring scheme. It describes certain type of a story that used to be common in fantasy tales. The mario movie stucked to it so much it's just uncreative. It's like they made a checklist with hero's journey and just built plot around that. Which does make a well put together story but cmon it's cheating
weaboomemelord69@reddit
Nothing inherently wrong with hero’s journey as a plot structure, but yeah the Mario Movie was really uninspired with it.
Squidman_Permanence@reddit
It just felt like a series of events. Like, "first they go here and do this and then they go here and do this, and then they go here and then it ends". It really did suck.
Gary_FucKing@reddit
Loved that movie, can’t decide my favorite part tho, it was either when princess peach somehow convinced another kingdom to give her their army while bringing nothing to the table and then getting them all genocided or when Mario brought a war zone to his completely unrelated city and then was celebrated after destroying half of it.
CALEBOI2004@reddit
If you look past Nintendo jingling their keys in your face, it’s pretty mid even for a children’s movie. I remember thinking all the “jokes” came from chatGPT
Stlr_Mn@reddit
I suppose im just too old or grumpy honestly, got no enjoyment out of it.
That being said, this will likely be on the same level. The cards are there. It will break a billion
Skyleader1212@reddit
Atleast Mario have some kind of story to build a movie upon like saving a princess from a giant fire breathing tortoise guy, that atleast will give them a direction to go.
While Minecraft, a sandbox game where people could do what ever they want with honestly no real story to it, if you want to live a farming life, do it, want to adventure afar, you do you, want to fight the great bosses and overcome them, fine by me. Now i have no idea how are they gonna adapt such a vast sandbox game with no actual plot into a movie but first they really need to do something about how creepy those 3d realistic mob looks, they are very uncanny to me and gave me the creep.
Frequent_Beat4527@reddit
You're on severe drugs my man. Mario was super fun to watch. I watched twice in 3D
apollosventure@reddit
While I think the movie was also mid, I think calling well liked things slop is about the most pretentious look a person can have. Keep doing you, though.
KnightofPandemonium@reddit
That is the saltiest edit I've seen in a while.
Mario movie was mid, but I liked it because Mario, and because video game movies in general are getting a lot better lately. It's a low bar to clear, but they're doing it- and while I don't think Minecraft movie will be very good, I figure it'll 'succeed' in the same way. Major pull with people who like Minecraft, Jack Black, etc.
Whether it's terrible remains to be seen but I have low expectations at the moment.
Stlr_Mn@reddit
“Saltiest edit”
Man I opened up my app and had 20 responses and 2 direct messages. Not to mention people shitting on me for suggesting it was shit in side comments.
It wasn’t salt, it was a defeated edit. Even now this is just sad to me.
KnightofPandemonium@reddit
Yeah. Either way, you don't seem to be having a great time right now.
Stlr_Mn@reddit
I genuinely wish I hadn’t said anything but I refuse to delete my comment and bow down to people upset I shit on Super Mario of all movies. You know, don’t negotiate with terrorists.
It’s my own fault, 100%.
KnightofPandemonium@reddit
Eh.
You're not wrong for having an opinion but you could state it more politely. I mean, the movie wasn't Oscar worthy by any means, but 'shit'? I dunno, man.
dixontide23@reddit
oh no, we trust people are stupid enough to pay to see it. that’s not our line of thinking at all.
t0ppings@reddit
Very normal discussion of children's movies here
GlassMinuet@reddit
They hated Jesus because he told them the truth
Moonpaw@reddit
I mean it wasn’t bad. It was pretty good for a kids animated movie. Wasn’t exactly the next Toy Story but I think you’re being a bit harsh.
The decision not to cast the original actor for Mario is somewhat annoying though. Like dude he’s right there.
onKrims@reddit
The fact that Charles Martinet, the actual voice of Super Mario, was kicked to the side for Chris Pratt made me never want to watch that steaming pile
Heir233@reddit
Shut up Mario was good
DaveSmith890@reddit
Every one uses the term “fun” to describe it. It’s like they are all quoting a review they saw.
It’s a hive mind. Literally none of them formulated their own opinion
VRisNOTdead@reddit
“It’s good for what it was” -morons
Jimmy-Shumpert@reddit
OK, but consider, the mario movie was animated, this is live action
ErnestGoesToHeck@reddit
Sounds about nintendo yea
MetaCommando@reddit
Don't disrespect my girl Samus like that.
buckymalone21@reddit
Mid or horse shit? Pick one.
Stlr_Mn@reddit
Mid. “Horse shit” as an exaggeration. A wholly unremarkable movie in every capacity.
justalad9@reddit
At least Mario was technically good. It had beautiful animation and some charm. The story/characters were pretty shit but at least visually it was nice to look at.
This shit looks like something you’d see on machinima in 2013
Emprasy@reddit
Well, we are speaking about Mario, which is not know for its plots and stories eh
Ja_corn_on_the_cob@reddit
It's a movie though, which should have a solid story. The story in Mario games only exists to facilitate gameplay, but when you are making a feature length film there should be more substance, even if it is a kids movie.
bunker_man@reddit
They went simple with the first one as a proof of concept. Later ones might be more varied.
bunker_man@reddit
The Mario movie was fine though. Not infinitely great, but good enough.
Ja_corn_on_the_cob@reddit
Finally! I found someone who agrees with me on the Mario Movie. The music choices were terrible, the pacing was way too fast, stuff is brought up just to be dropped, the characters are poorly developed, and the story itself was completely uninspired. Say what you will about Sonic or the 90s Mario movie but at least there was some creativity even if it didn't always work.
The animation looked nice though.
Ragequittter@reddit
"horse shit mario movie" the kids movie based on a kids game is not to your liking?
epicboogster2988@reddit
Wah wah wah
Quest_Objective@reddit
Lol “it wasn’t that bad” WOW STOP GETTING OFFENDED
Stlr_Mn@reddit
Your parents consider you a disappointment
skaersSabody@reddit
Right behind you on the Mario Movie, brother
Hell, I'd argue it's worse than a lot of other shlop that gets pushed because it is so fucking mid in the story department, it legit speedruns story beats. Watching the movie felt like the studio was saying "Yeah, yeah, you know how this goes, let's skip to the soyjack references you really bought the ticket for"
It is almost insultingly formulaic and that is so much more egregious when you consider that there's clear genuine passion on the side of the animators doing a lot of cool shit, but being dragged down by some really just disinterested direction and screenplay
nickN42@reddit
Well, Borderlands movie didn't.
Ofiotaurus@reddit
Personally I like this art style, my only grievance is that it’s live action and not fully animated.
Withinmyrange@reddit
Relax with horse shit, it’s clearly a nostalgia and fun movie. No need to be pretentious about it
Elkku26@reddit
This looks much worse though. The Mario movie was at least conceptually solid, i.e. the existence and core concept of the movie made sense. Here I have no idea what they're going for. Of course this will still make fabulous amounts of money so whatever.
MOONDAYHYPE@reddit
Horse shit??? That movie was actually decent!!
tweak06@reddit
It was a good movie. It's a 4Chan subreddit so by law you have to shit on popular things that people enjoy
RandumbStoner@reddit
They aren’t even comparable, for one they’re for kids so it shouldn’t appeal to you in the first place and second Mario move actually put effort into it. My nephews loved Mario movie, they laughed at this.
Do-it-for-you@reddit
The Mario movie was good, fun, visually beautiful.
Sure, the voice acting was questionable but it doesn’t really ruin the movie.
This screenshot alone tells us the Minecraft movie will not even be visually pleasing.
PM_ME_LIGMA_JOKES@reddit
Idk man Mario movie was solid. Most notably that it didn’t try to do this real people in CG world nonsense
Rye_The_Science_Guy@reddit
Jack Black was also in the Borderlands movie...
MetaCommando@reddit
Borderlands games were never funny either, it's like Pokemon where the series stopped being good after you turned 16.
NotMorganSlavewoman@reddit
And ? Minecraft isn't like full of jokes either.
Coakis@reddit
Meh the gameplay for at least the first few games was great, but they fucking mangled the plot after the second one. Seems gearbox is good not only fucking other people's properties up, but seem intent on fucking their own shit up.
Oxidized_Shackles@reddit
That's where I couldn't take it anymore. I made it through 55yo Cate Blanchett Lilith narrating and boss babeing everything, but when claptrap showed up at the camp, I just realized it wasn't going to get better. It was going to get much worse with every introduction. Everybody involved should be out against the wall.
jelly_blood@reddit
Jack Black **ruined his friendship with Kyle Gas’s just so he can stay in this movie :)
NoVisual2387@reddit
I, am STEVE!!!
JohnsonFlamethrower@reddit
Directed by Napoleon Dynamite
Cent3rCreat10n@reddit
Jack black was also in the borderlands movie so uh
DaveSmith890@reddit
I loved that guy in Nacho Libre
BonkeyKongthesecond@reddit
As always when Hollywood shits something like that out with a massive budget, I suspect some kind of a tax fraud.
BaldLivesMatter93@reddit
A CEO got his dick sucked
McSqueakers@reddit
already_taken-chan@reddit
What the fuck its real?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE2YZhcC4NY
I legit thought it was some AI generated 'lets get a minecraft movie' bullshit
Godisdeadbutimnot@reddit
It looks like they’re all just standing in front of a greenscreen, like the actors don’t blend in with the surroundings at all
SuspiciousPine@reddit
These greenscreen-only movies do just have worse acting though. The lack of sets makes it much harder to give a good performance
Perfect-Ad2327@reddit
They’re round humans in a cube world how on earth would one make them blend in?
NomadicScribe@reddit
Hire Cuban actors. Duh.
all_time_high@reddit
iwasbatman@reddit
Take you fucking upvote and get out of here
catinterpreter@reddit
Colour, lighting, focus, costuming. You know, the usual.
Lacholaweda@reddit
The mobs look AI generated
already_taken-chan@reddit
yeah, they made the creative decision to make everything else blocky. But that doesnt include the actors?
THE_ALAM0@reddit
Yeah I thought they would have just put them in Minecraft. Come on buddy do better
ImprovisedLeaflet@reddit
You really think they’d do that?!
Xenoamor@reddit
You're going to be blown away when you find out how it was made
Resident_Monk_4493@reddit
As once said: every day we stray further away from God
keeleon@reddit
There's no way AI wasn't heavily involved in this.
TheKnightsWhoSay_heh@reddit
I Am Steve!
schizochode@reddit
they really used jack black again huh
PapiStalin@reddit
Because it’s all investment fraud.
keeleon@reddit
Except it's still going to make a billion dollars because children are stupid, so it's really just "investment".
hawkshaw1024@reddit
Parents will love it because it vaguely reminds them of their own youth, and it's an opportunity to be rid of their awful children for 90-120 minutes or whatever the runtime ends up being. Children will love it because it'll have bright colours and loud noises and at least one fart joke. Everyone's happy!
Lasbo_Fln@reddit
I really hope Christian parents try to boycott the movie because it's satanic or something... I mean, at least I think the creatures look like that
EddieRando21@reddit
Christian parents are more likely to boycott it because of the black woman.
FaZe_Clon@reddit
really not as prevalent in the population anymore tbh
romanticizeyourlife@reddit
Also, “people love nostalgia, so let’s give them more of it!”
TrenchSquire@reddit
And why is everyone styled like early 90s peak crack epidemic fashion?
AsterlovesTedK@reddit
First it was Rod waves fat ass releasing music , then concord , then duskborn then i shit my pants now this? My soy cannot handle this , MY NOSTALGIA!
cosmoseth@reddit
It isn't. You are getting psyop'd wake up anon.
Rejukem@reddit
Where's the cat.
T-Bone31100@reddit
Crunchy-Leaf@reddit
You gotta poorly edit in a tinfoil hat
NemTB@reddit
One of these would be more precise
Dawgenberg@reddit
Winston-91@reddit
🐈🔄
Ched---@reddit
Here's a little one
Syreet_Primacon@reddit
Bro we’re gonna starve
r4o2n0d6o9@reddit
Relative-Cancel-3636@reddit
insertnamejokehere@reddit
JoshAnMeisce@reddit
Deldris@reddit
Zenbast@reddit
KrugerMedusa@reddit
SamW_72@reddit
🐈🔄
Smaller one
Federal-Peace-9366@reddit
luziwurm@reddit
luziwurm@reddit
SmaugRancor@reddit
peninho@reddit
the_marxman@reddit
The cat is my Inception totem. If I see it I know I'm in a dream.
noblemile@reddit
pipachu99@reddit
There is no cat
Unusual-Form9920@reddit
Benetton_Cumbersome@reddit
Did you know? Cereal, comes from Ceres, god of havest.
Mr_Bondzai@reddit
Serial
jmpt16@reddit
Experiments Lain
imfamousq@reddit
5intage_@reddit
you guys remember ugly sonic
popje@reddit
Ugly sonic was an inside job
MetaCommando@reddit
Free advertising, they only ever animated ugly Sonic for the trailer for free buzz both before and after the "change"
Mobile_Molasses_9876@reddit
Genius! It's just like "New" Coke. They were going to change the formula from real sugar to corn syrup, so they made a Pepsi-lite formula and called it "New Coke". Everyone hated it, as planned. By the time they brought back "Coke Classic", we all forgot what Coke actually tasted like. We were so happy it was no longer "New Coke", we didn't question how it differed from the Coke we grew up on.
DeltaPQRST@reddit
Most likely because they didn't add cocaine in it
Mobile_Molasses_9876@reddit
I'm pretty old, but I'm not Coca leaves and Kola nut old.
all_time_high@reddit
I was impressed with how well it turned out in the end. The studio’s design of Sonic already received a poor response from Sega, so the public response solidified what they needed to do.
They brought on an accomplished Sonic artist, Tyson Hesse, and spent $5 million making Sonic actually look like Sonic while still managing to release on time.
The movie ended up being shockingly good as far as video game adaptations go.
Shadeleovich@reddit
And the rework really looks good.
Moonpaw@reddit
Proof that studios do, from time to time, pay attention to what fans want.
Yes it was almost certainly because they wanted to sell more tickets and dvds. But they still listened and that deserves at least some credit.
Gary_FucKing@reddit
Release the first cut, cowards!!
DaveSmith890@reddit
No
SuperAwesome13@reddit
I love ugly sonic
fishattack17@reddit
I kinda want someone to make the whole sonic movie with ugly sonic. I wish to see what was taken from us
SuperAwesome13@reddit
I think ugly sonic is a disney character now. he was in chip n dale rescue rangers
Amethyst_Crimson@reddit
why he looking kinda cute tho
zoltar_thunder@reddit
Ugly sonic looks good compared to whatever the fuck the Minecraft movie is
Mr_Night78@reddit
Okay now you're just lying.
_sephylon_@reddit
Recency bias
OughtToBeFought@reddit
I think they pull the numbers for budgets out of their asses to gather attention
Petermitnemmeter@reddit
Its money laundering.
Most_Chemistry8944@reddit
Kinda. Its the fleecing of Chinese investors. The producers do pay taxes; so not exactly laundering.
SuicidalTurnip@reddit
Money laundering isn't about avoiding taxes, it's about legitimising (or cleaning) dirty money.
Any remotely competent launderer is going to pay taxes because tax avoidance is the exact sort of shit that gets major criminals caught and imprisoned.
Metzger90@reddit
The IRS has forms for income made illegally. They don’t care how you make your money, they just want their cut.
bkseventy@reddit
Is this actually true?
JunkqueenOT@reddit
It very much is and I’ve known some career drug dealers that will track their money and take their books to a trusted accountant
Criram@reddit
You can break the law, but god forbid uncle sam doesn't get his cut
papi_chonk@reddit
Absolute insanity that the one federal organization that does their job almost perfectly is the IRS. (Not saying they are good entity or that I agree with them, just that they do their job incredibly effectively of getting Uncle Sam his cut)
DevianPamplemousse@reddit
No, they do for the 90%, you will pay your taxes. But big fish ? Bezos, elon ect they have mostly legal and illegal way to avoid it.
Weisslerren@reddit
"The taxman sees a young fella with an unlimited supply of cash and no job, what's the conclusion he comes to?"
"...that im a drug dealer?"
"WRONG! You're a TAX CHEAT!"
SuicidalTurnip@reddit
"I'm crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS?"
H0rnyMifflinite@reddit
The Joker > Luke Skywalker as Mark Hamill's best character.
Criram@reddit
That clip never gets old
ras344@reddit
So where did they get the 150 million of dirty money that they're supposedly laundering?
kanny_jiller@reddit
Foreskin sales
SuicidalTurnip@reddit
I'm not saying it is money laundering.
VirtualPantsu@reddit
Simple don't fuck woth the tax man.
the_shortbus_@reddit
Real
the_shortbus_@reddit
Real
guthran@reddit
This is how they got al capone
daelindidnowrong@reddit
Can you explain the "fleecing chinese investors" thing?
Regular-Cup9528@reddit
Money laundering is done to make illegal income appear legal, paying taxes on it is the point.
Most_Chemistry8944@reddit
Fleecing of Chinese Investors is perfectly legal.
SuicidalTurnip@reddit
Moral, even.
Fane_Eternal@reddit
Why? Chinese people aren't the Chinese government. Why is it moral to try and screw over a dude who wants to invest somewhere?
KJting98@reddit
are there any billionaires that uphold good morals in the west? Apply that to China.
Fane_Eternal@reddit
Who specified billionaire?
Are all investors rich? I own some investments, am I rich?
DeathByPig@reddit
Bro anyone putting money into movies is rich. It's not a 401k
Fane_Eternal@reddit
except for all those movies that arent high budget. Lots of movies are made on budgets of sub 1 million, and lots of movies are made with crowdfunded investments. youre just objectively wrong
DeathByPig@reddit
"movies"
I mean if you want to be purposefully obtuse and claim 500k budget films shown at cultural festivals count as movie investments then there's no meaningful discussion here.
Fane_Eternal@reddit
Lots of movies, not films, are made in small budgets. Not every movie is a blockbuster you goober. And even if that was what I was talking about, the other point is still standing as well, lots of movies are crowd funded. Sounds like you're being intentionally obtuse.
DeathByPig@reddit
This whole thread is about a 150 million dollar movie and here you are still talking about crowd funding. Suck my balls.
Fane_Eternal@reddit
No, this thread is about the concept of Chinese investment in the ENTIRE INDUSTRY. The post is about the big movie, but if you scroll up, you'll be able to see the actual comment I responded to. Suck your own balls, dumbass.
DeathByPig@reddit
I am humbly requesting you invest 9$ into my movie about me eating a subway sandwich.
Fane_Eternal@reddit
Actual movies, that make millions, can be invested in without being a billionaire. Many are crowdfunded, and even non crowdfunded ones can be invested in by private individuals as long as they aren't being done entirely internally by a big company. You're just stupid and are basing your ENTIRE position on how you ASSUME movies work.
DeathByPig@reddit
Chinese movie investor extraordinaire places life savings (1200) in crowdfunding camping for largest crowdfunded movie of all time (6 million budget). In return, gets free tickets and name in 30 minute credit scene. Shit, I guess the little guy CAN invest in movies.
I'll be sure to show up to the Berkshire Hathaway shareholders meeting with my 0.02 stock.
Fane_Eternal@reddit
Why die on this hill of intellectual dishonesty?
dincosire@reddit
Those aren’t the movies being funded by Chinese investors. But more to the point, Chinese investment into Hollywood is tied to the CCP as a soft power push on their end. If the CCP didn’t think these investments would benefit them (through gaining influence, money, or both) they wouldn’t allow it.
It also gives them some power to shape the media landscape, since they get to dictate what can and can’t be in the movies they are funding, and they know Hollywood films are basically synonymous with worldwide films.
bmac251@reddit
I do agree with you, screwing over individuals is wrong.
However, there is no investor in China that is investing in American companies without the explicit permission (or even on behalf of) the CCP. Their banking controls are insane and they make ours look paltry. They do not want money leaving the country which is why you occasionally hear wild stories about how rich Chinese people manage capital flight from China.
Do I feel bad about fleecing the CCP, who most certainly has a stake in the investment? No. I’d encourage it.
Fane_Eternal@reddit
This is objectively wrong. Lots of Chinese people invest in the west without permission. Why do you think so many end up in trouble for the CCP making arbitrary decisions about those investments? Dumb take.
bmac251@reddit
Do you think a Chinese citizen, even a rich one, is investing in this company? As a non-accredited investor?
These films cost millions. Tens, or in this case, hundreds of millions precisely. If a citizen wants to invest in this companies movie, how will they do it? With the $50k annual allotment the CCP allows them to transfer out of the country? Not happening.
The Chinese government does not allow for transfers of such sums of money required for this investment in the company. Maybe they’re better off buying Warner Bros or Disney stock. Or they make some kind of consortium of Chinese citizen movie investors which I am unaware of.
snapetom@reddit
You think a Chinese billionaire happens without the oversight and permission from the CCP?
Fane_Eternal@reddit
Who said billionaire?
angelis0236@reddit
The purpose of money laundering is to turn bad money into clean (taxable) money
DonC1305@reddit
Do you not know what laundering is?
UglyInThMorning@reddit
Redditors can never tell the difference between money laundering and embezzlement
TheJeeeBo@reddit
Which Chinese investors exactly?
Most_Chemistry8944@reddit
China Recon
China Wanda
Galloping
Investor WU has pissed away a lot of money on the Fast and Furious franchise.
Nice try on the call out.
Kirito619@reddit
Reddito behaviour. No one is calling you out. People are just curious because they want to know who you are talking about.
Most_Chemistry8944@reddit
Nah the dude was absolutely trying to call out, look at the post history.
The_Nude_Mocracy@reddit
Their comments are just about anime and call of duty. That doesn't mean they're Chinese, probably
The1Zenith@reddit
GrandLewdWizard@reddit
This there timed shit shows like concord so companies get tax breaks
dikmite@reddit
I can tell by the lighting whether a movie is high budget ir low budget
BBtheboy@reddit
90% of the budget will go to marketing
Conch-Republic@reddit
150m isn't shit.
Bigmiga@reddit
I feel that it must be easier to get 150 million for a movie than get 10 or 15, if you ask for such "low values" investors that only look at excel numbers and data think that the film will suck and not get their money back, if the budget is 150 it will be a blockbuster and guarantee double the money. It's the only way that they give this amount of money.
littletoyboat@reddit
The people who fund $150mil and the ones who fund $15mil are entirely different groups of people. A nine figure movie is almost always funded by a studio, who might partner with a large production company or just literal bank to fund it.
$15mil is cobbled together from multiple investors and production companies; many in the former category are actually fine with taking a loss for tax reasons, because their real business is something else.
Alive_Ice7937@reddit
Kinda like that weird magic act my uncle used to do just for me.
DangerNoodle1993@reddit
hm1rafael@reddit
Tax write off
A_Wild_Tree@reddit
They could've just made an animation that look like the trailers
Bink_Ink@reddit
Looks like most of it is?
Chaosmyguy@reddit
Go watch the Minecraft trailers. They look nothing like this
TheUltimateInfidel@reddit
I find it sad that they made a Minecraft movie seemingly without any fan input; one which just superficially resembles Minecraft. No Herobrine? No references to griefing? I still don’t get why they superimposed actors into a Minecraft greenscreen when they could have made it in actual Minecraft for way less.
nagareboshi_chan@reddit
Having Herobrine as the antagonist would be freaking sick
Confident-Hippo5024@reddit
Oh yeah man heckin herobrine in le minecrafterino movie would be FRICKIN SICK. It would so wholesome wouldnt it, then theyd have my updoot for sure, you could post it on r/memes or somethin right? so true!1!11! One cant even call this shit "reddit moments" anymore cuz redditors coopted that too in r/redditmoment
fuckin lmao, i cant even take it serious, im not schizoposting either the situation is seriously fubar'd
TheUltimateInfidel@reddit
The only way this movie could be worse was if Benito Mussolini was the antagonist.
fakegamersunite@reddit
If this movie is any better than Minecraft Storymode. I will be genuinely surprised.
And I think Minecraft Storymode is just fine.
peezle69@reddit
Embezzlement
CLAP_DOLPHIN_CHEEKS@reddit
DEI shenanigans
plain simple
NoggyClassic@reddit
If the first thing you think when you see a black person in a movie is “diversity hire”, you are racist. She is an accomplished actor in her own right, the fact that you dismiss all that just to make a cheap joke makes you racist. Yes even you reading this right now who thinks the same, you are racist.
Karen-vaxx-nope@reddit
Fuck it. When it comes out I'll give it a watch. Sure, it should have been animated. But from the trailer I can't tell what the story will be as the directors could really have as much creative freedom as they want like Minecraft story mode and Minecraft dungeons had a different story to the base game.
dn_nb@reddit
why is there always a fat black woman
KingNative69@reddit
"Cultural diversity" not that it's bad but it's kinda a trope atp (with these kinda producers)
OddNovel565@reddit
Concord the movie
Aggressive-Reward302@reddit
Kids.
Ready_Medicine_2641@reddit
what
MulleRizz@reddit
Make a movie about swuare blocks
Cast the roundest person they find
Bravo Vince
Fluffy-Rush-5530@reddit
Minecraft for "modern audience"
DiamondBreakr@reddit
EXACTLY
niTro_sMurph@reddit
Wtf is this?
dragunov3@reddit
Yikes
Youremegagrounded@reddit
Ain’t no way this isn’t a marketing stunt, who tf puts a shot like on the TRAILER?
TubbyFatfrick@reddit
When focus groups stop giving a shit about quality, Anon. That's why the Megamind Sequel was allowed to release.
cloudxchan@reddit
Oh shit, this looks dope
Lord-Kibben@reddit
Ehh, they’ll probably just delay it after the backlash and come back with updated special effects, the same deal as bad CGI Sonic or the initial design for live action Stitch. That way, nobody will give them shit over whatever they make instead because the bar’s already in hell (or I guess the Nether) from this trailer
DreamBigGamesReddit@reddit
Absolutely wild that WB had the Batgirl movie completely finished and decided to send it to the void, but is completely ok shoveling out this crap. This movie looks boring, unfunny, and cheap.
Unless they are hiding the good jokes and interesting plot line, this is basically the Jumanji remake (get transported inside a video game) but worse.
Street_Text7535@reddit
That struck me too. Why shelf Batgirl? If it makes 10% of its budget that's still money made. Nobody would expect a woke diaster like Batgirl to make money in the first place
MaxBandit@reddit
Because by shelving it, it counted as a loss and they got to save money on taxes. Batgirl cost 90 million, by shelving it they got to write that off on their taxes (ie they got to pay 90 million less in taxes).
There's no way it would have made even close to 90 million, so they recovered more money by shelving it and getting the tax write off for the loss than releasing it and making, say, 9 million dollars.
foukoshima@reddit
Anon couldn’t see the real psyop
doyouunderstandlife@reddit
Because it's going to make $1 billion because people will watch any slop with a brand they know slapped across it
PsychoSwede557@reddit
Is that the tesseract?
XIAOOAIX@reddit
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLICATE
fish312@reddit
Borg cube
catinterpreter@reddit
Leave Trek out of this. It's had enough done to it already.
nagareboshi_chan@reddit
I've been super into the MCU lately so I thought "is this the new Marvel movie?"
deathbygoat@reddit
My first thought too. Does this mean Minecraft is part of the MCU?
kingepic84@reddit
MCU and Minecraft crossover confirmed
PsychoSwede557@reddit
I would never have guessed this was Minecraft. Wtf is this sh*t??
kingepic84@reddit
Its the new minecraft movie with jack black and others, the trailer came out on youtube earlier today I believe
LukaRaphael@reddit
the worst part of this is that it we be a huge commercial success, because kids, normies and hate-watchers will drive the sales
lordmax2002@reddit
150 mil budget? Moves just gotta be money launderimg at this point, no way some shitty looking movie of series can cost 150mil+ when something like Godzilla Minus One cost like 15m
xhabeascorpusx@reddit
Is Jason supposed to be the YouTuber that diddles and DMs minors?
Honestonus@reddit
What's this
Is that Jason momoa
Frequent_Beat4527@reddit
That's Jason Bourne
darkjungle@reddit
Man wants another house
Jinrex-Jdm@reddit
What the hell is even that?
Afraid_Government_74@reddit
Please god let this be the greatest satire movie of all time and we're just being fucked with
Atitkos@reddit
I have never seen or heard of this, and I think it's better to stay that way.
Desert_Aficionado@reddit
It comes out April next year. https://i.imgur.com/2h8arh4.jpeg
McNippy@reddit
Looks awful, but they do get bonus points for using Magical Mystery Tour as the trailer song.
ImpossibleParfait@reddit
I'd be willing to bet money this makes more money then it cost. Everyone was shitting on the mario movie and it make a fuck ton of money. Every parent is gonna take their little shit to see the minecraft movie.
Amazing_Addendum3052@reddit
Aquaman
ktsb@reddit
Not turning minecraft into a horror movie is a stupid idea. Instead they will have this stupid esikay or fish out of water story. It's not like steve in minecraft knows that everything shouldn't be a block since he is a block himself.
JYuMo@reddit
What is esikay, did you mean isekai?
ktsb@reddit
I couldn't remember how it was spelled I was sounding it out. And i couldn't be bother to google it. I inverted the e and i and used a y not an i at the end. So it's pronounced eye-see-ka-eye?
JYuMo@reddit
I think it's pronounced ee-seh-keye, close to "it's a guy"
-NoNameListed-@reddit
It doesn't need to be a horror movie, but yeah, Isekai is just lazy.
Steve & Alex exist because they are the last of the old builders, of whom respawned instead of turning into undead or endermen, that's a cool premise already
ktsb@reddit
It doesn't have to be a horror movie but if you've been cave exploring and a creeper or arrow comes out nowhere u know the fear. Plus they could do some cool stuff with the neather. I just think a survival horror would suit the game more than a family friendly adventure comedy. Like the child friendly blinding blocks game is the very surface of minecraft. U can make any story u want sure but there's monsters and abandoned ruins and like I said the neather.
angelis0236@reddit
I'm thinking like a Scooby-Doo on zombie Island style PG-13 horror would be good but an actual r-rated horror movie would not do well
vS_JPK@reddit
..but this is what will make all the money.
Fuzelop@reddit
to be totally fair minecraft lore is so insanely convoluted and vague I can understand why they don't bother trying to follow it
-NoNameListed-@reddit
It also doesn't help that even MatPat got things wrong.
The endermen are the reanimated ashes of people who died to the ender dragon's breath.
Their ashy composition is why they melt in water
MetaCommando@reddit
Wasn't that because Minecraft retconned things like 6 months later?
-NoNameListed-@reddit
No? They just said what they taste like...
Street_Text7535@reddit
But why a horror movie?
Aloepaca@reddit
Because horror generates far more intrigue into a franchise than any other genre.
It’s also a very cool concept for a pg-13ish horror. The struggle to establish survival in a monster-filled world, finding friends to secure a foothold, and ‘beating’ the game to get back home. Sounds like a great runner up to Monster House and surpasses where Jumanji flopped.
dapperteco@reddit
But if it were horror how would they slot the 15th "awwwkwardddd" in the script?
MetaCommando@reddit
The problem is Minecraft looks too cute/silly to be a horror movie without removing the blocks, which defeats the whole aspect.
Street_Text7535@reddit
Actually, yeah. I get you here. Make the Creepers as scary as they are in-game. This fish out of the water shit is so weak
SuicidalTurnip@reddit
And yet this shit will probably make more money than god because little kids are fucking obsessed with mineycrafta
DRAGONMASTER-@reddit
Wow, so mature of you, very cool. You're a big boy for sure.
Theghost129@reddit
nice try CCP. Ruin everything you want, im not buying your monkey game sand saying China numba 1
PanchoxxLocoxx@reddit
Convinced that the movie industry is money laundering
SeriousGains@reddit
And a propaganda mill.
TheVideogaming101@reddit
Always had been
Zyndrom1@reddit
Jack Black can´t carry this imo.
The_Gooch_Goochman@reddit
Momoa is a license to print money right now. Very mindful, very demure.
Crazzach@reddit
$150 million dollar budget Jason Mamao cost: $70 million Jack black casting: $70 million Everything else: $10 million
Jewish_Kanye_West@reddit
Jack Black needs to be executed
KPilkie01@reddit
100% Do not get the worship.
kokokoko983@reddit
The trailer looks somewhat decent. I wouldn't bet on it being terrible, though also wouldn't bet on it being good.
Explorer_the_No-life@reddit
What the fuck is this shit?
Street_Text7535@reddit
What is that even supposed to be?
NoiseIsTheCure@reddit
September 11th, Two Thousand Fun
DrScience-PhD@reddit
Concord?
Street_Text7535@reddit
Ha!
Dog_in_human_costume@reddit
Generic movie 2: Electric Boogaloo
KlimCan@reddit
Saving Private Ryan 2
Street_Text7535@reddit
I lol'd but seriously, what's this?
LOICVAL@reddit
Minecraft, the movie
Street_Text7535@reddit
Thank you kindly my good sir.
GimpboyAlmighty@reddit
It's the medical drama where the squad races for the cure to his ball cancer. Thus the tag line: Saving Ryan's Privates.
absurdism_enjoyer@reddit
Looks like minecraft
Treqou@reddit
Imagine pissing away a big chunk of that budget on a list actors than just getting better creative writers
Dotkenn@reddit
Why they decided to keep real people in an animated universe is beyond me.
RaspingHaddock@reddit
$100 says the make Momoa and the female lead a relationship, even though it would be incredibly rare irl to see that attractiveness dynamic in a relationship
wonderh123@reddit
How did they get magical mystery tour for this trailer 💀
TheOneWhoReadsStuff@reddit
There’s no chance in hell I’m ever gonna take my kids to see this.
Ozymandias_1303@reddit
In my day, all movies based on video games were shit and everyone knew it.
Nowadays, they're still shit, but for some reason people pretend they're actually good.
HotStupid_@reddit
Hey, anybody want to grav 4chan's attention: r/ math memes is currently on day 24 of the fibonacci sequence, they probably will hit 48k votes today, but tomorrow will need 97k. I've never been on 4chan, just like reading these greentexts. If anyone feels like helping, thanks!!!
LouieLazer@reddit
everyone who said money laundering is smoking their dad's crack, this movie will make a brazillion dollars
AnonPlzzzzzz@reddit
I have a theory that they are fighting piracy by making movies that no one would waste hard drive space on...
Brilliant_Chemica@reddit
Minecraft continually puts out new game content for a game that costs 30$. Can't blame them for chasing the bag
dayna29@reddit
Is that Jason Mooma from Aquaman?
MeMeWhenWhenTheWhen@reddit
Is this that Concord I've been hearing so much about
And_Yet_I_Live@reddit
It's gonna be Peak Fiction let's be honest.
LemonySniffit@reddit
Its all so tiresome
bobux-man@reddit
The whole movie will be set in a green screen
beefkingsley@reddit
I think the 5 Nights at Freddy’s movie was the first time I felt old. Like zero connection to the property that its based on.
This kind of confirms it. I don’t really know what Minecraft is but I only know about it from my girlfriends 10 year old brother playing it when I was in high school. I’d expect it to look cheap.
sendhelp11234@reddit
We wuz craftin' n sheit
Frosty_Salamander856@reddit
Not about being a good show, it's abkut DEI propaganda. The budget is for propaganda, not entertainment.
Dystrox@reddit
It's going to be fun bad, so it is a must watch.
PupEDog@reddit
"Hey this Minecraft shit makes major cash, let's make it a movie" - that's how
colonelpopcorn92@reddit
Money laundering.
Basic-Hovercraft7942@reddit
What is this abomination?
dazzan2112@reddit
I’m not a fan of the real life actors with the animated background. It’s a bit jarring imo. I think it would look better if it was all animated
SyedHRaza@reddit
We live in the world of Disney entertainment , they are responsible for most of the unwatchable crap made. Disney picture is a sure fire way for someone to know this is crap and and a waste of time and money
shianbreehan@reddit
It's produced by Warner Bros though
THE_dumb_giraffe@reddit
Look at the goddamn lighting, it doesn't even fucking TRY
forever_a10ne@reddit
Children are the least picky audience there is.
finkelzeez42@reddit
I don't know what is worse: If the people making this thought that it was a good idea Or If the people making this knew that it would anger/confuse people so they would inevitably go and hatewatch it
gamegeekj@reddit
God dammit Microsoft...
Mushroomman642@reddit
This can't be real
EldritchElise@reddit
shit things can be profitable
silmarp@reddit
What show is that?
ZygZagGaming@reddit
a. i assume the target audience is like. actual kids so its probably cringe to non-children b. i hope they run it by test audiences bc idk if actual kids will like it c. i be placin blocks n shit cus im in fucking minecraft
Just_a_terrarian163@reddit
I would have payed twice a movie tickets price for it to just be a complete let's play of jack black and Jason momoa edited together into 2 hours.
ANewBegging@reddit
Honestly doesn’t look that bad, obviously more geared towards children, kinda excited for it
Superfragger@reddit
reddit and 4chan shat on mario movie but it turned out to be very successful. it's almost like 4chinners arent the target audience for a childrens movie.
Jewish_Kanye_West@reddit
Mario worked because it wasn't live action
Gary_FucKing@reddit
Now do jumanji.
dalpozak@reddit
Mario movie wasn't horrendous
ender89@reddit
It doesn't have a coherent plot, it has set pieces. There's a bit in the karts where donkey Kong has a one liner and then sits there in his kart like an NPC while everyone else talks without him
dalpozak@reddit
Indeed the plot was non existent but at the very least it was visually appealing. this isn't.
Superfragger@reddit
point is reddit and 4chan still said it looked horrendous when the trailers released.
Franck_kuintal@reddit
Did you read the YouTube comment section ?
Superfragger@reddit
unless you tell me 8 year olds are telling us their opinion in the youtube comments then i dont think thats relevant.
Franck_kuintal@reddit
8 year old don't go to cinema by themself.
And I really think that YouTube comment section is an explicit expression of the targeted base for this movie.
But please, be my guest :
https://www.theverge.com/24235698/minecraft-movie-trailer
https://www.pcgamer.com/movies-tv/the-first-minecraft-movie-trailer-is-here-and-now-im-thinking-the-borderlands-film-might-not-be-the-worst-thing-to-happen-to-cinema-in-2024/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/paultassi/2024/09/04/the-first-minecraft-movie-trailer-is-here-and-it-is-horrifying/
Superfragger@reddit
yeah im sure 8 year olds will be reading the verge, pc gamer, and forbes before asking their parents to see this movie. surely the incoming mass marketing on every minecraft vid is not going to convince them they want to see this. or are you under the impression a parent wont bring their kid to see a movie they want to see because forbes said it was bad?
Franck_kuintal@reddit
Yes indeed.
Parent tend to bring theyre kid to movie after reading the review.
Street_Text7535@reddit
Nobody shat on Mario and it was a great movie
theking752@reddit
It has Jack black in it i'm sorry but it's peak
MrStink45@reddit
The new Spy Kids movie is looking great
akferal_404@reddit
the concord of movies
Laxhoop2525@reddit
This is fake, right?
iwasbatman@reddit
It's a fucking movie for kids.
Wait and see how it makes much more than what it was invested.
Kids don't care and this movie is not aspiring to win an Oscar.
Ragequittter@reddit
make entire world somewhat faitful yo the original game, and then make the character live action, and all look annoying af
throwaway6444377_@reddit
wild that its been in development since 2014 and it looks like this
aimbothehackerz@reddit
i can see the fucking green screen they didnt even try
Beginning-Spirit5686@reddit
I’m out of the loop, where’s the picture from?
FastenedCarrot@reddit
Not beating the money laundering allegations.
DialSquare84@reddit
They made a Concord movie?!
Tafkai1469@reddit
What even is it?
BadActsForAGoodPrice@reddit
This had the same budget as the One Piece Live Action I’m dying
darkjungle@reddit
How much is Jason getting paid for this?
DementedNecron@reddit
how can you even make Jason Momoa ugly?
Frenky_Fisher@reddit
We lost Notch for this...
RinRinDoof@reddit
Is dis a Concord movie?
fish312@reddit
This will be God awful but the difference is it will print
Maverick3458@reddit
All this for a movie about a game that's just a bunch of squares moving around on a screen
Dd_8630@reddit
Jesus Christ I'm having flashbacks to 10 years ago when realistic texture packs were a thing.
I'm a 36 year old who loves Minecraft, and this movie looks diabolical.
stop_talking_you@reddit
100million is for jason budget.
Professional_Ad_9101@reddit
How did a movie based on an incredibly financially lucrative franchise get greenlit?
Eldritch_Ayylien66@reddit
Money
Professional_Ad_9101@reddit
That’s my point. It’s a dumb question.
DrProfSrRyan@reddit
It's not a dumb question when people reasonably believe that the executives responsible for green-lighting this saw more than just the title or the IP it was based on. You'd assume, or at least hope, that they also read a script.
Professional_Ad_9101@reddit
Why would you reasonably believe that when everything about Hollywood teaches us the other.
Dd_8630@reddit
What movie is this?
SunsetSmokeG59@reddit
Hollywood realizes the only people going to theaters or buying movies anymore are parents with kids
nagareboshi_chan@reddit
Up until now I was kinda looking forward to it. Now I'm disappointed. Still holding out hope they'll use Revenge (Creeper Aw Man) for the end credits song. I'd love to see how fans in the theater react to that.
molnarmate88@reddit
Can someone send me a link to the trailer?
schizochode@reddit
https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=a+minecraft+movie+trailer
Flashy_Narwhal9362@reddit
Here ya go r/trailers
kpingvin@reddit
I'm disappointed that sub is actually about movie trailers.
No_Wrangler312@reddit
Google bitch
ActualEmJayGee@reddit
Holy hell
Phosibear@reddit
NO!
UnfathomableDarkness@reddit
Okay but on the real wtf is this picture?
CinematicSunset@reddit
I mean this movie looks like absolute shit but let's also call out all of the Reddit forensic accountants screaming 'money laundering,'
How the fuck would that even work?
creeper6530@reddit
It's just an isekai trash like any other, but this one isn't an anime and doesn't have big boobed catgirls in it
Winnie_the_Putin42@reddit
That much money and it still looks like they're walking on a green screen in the trailer
Fantastic4unko@reddit
Kids.
JeColor@reddit
They picked that woman because she's built like a brick
YourFavoritNew@reddit
When free youtube animations look better than your movie, go home.
L003Tr@reddit
I just watched the advert and I don't see the problem? Is this just another case of adults getting annoyed that a kids film is being made for kids?
Omegawop@reddit
Concord screenshot
XazelNightLord@reddit
That is AI image right? RIGHT?!
Don't tell me that's that Minecraft movie
TJ_McWeaksauce@reddit
Does anyone doubt that this movie will make a shit ton of money? It's an adaptation of one of the world's most popular games, and a lot of its audience are kids.
Five Nights at Freddy's was, in my opinion, a boring and shitty horror movie. But it's loaded with fan service, the fans ate it up, and it made almost $300MM worldwide. Minecraft has a considerably larger fanbase, so I expect this movie will make over $1 billion at the box office pretty quickly after release.
Zalar01@reddit
K_Ver@reddit
About the only thing that actually reeeeeaaaaallly bothers me here is the terrible greenscreen/compositing/whatever. They really have a bad cardboard-cut-out thing going. The scenery might be too saturated, the people might be too desaturated, but it definitely looks like they need another pass.
Otherwise I don't care about the actors, as long as they're good in the roles.
That said, I f*cking love the derpy, blocky animals.
breakfasteveryday@reddit
Of course they put fucking Jack Black in it
ScrotumWarlord@reddit
Hey ChatGpt please shoot me in the back of the head.
TheBloxerTRG@reddit
Is this a fucking Minecraft movie? What??? Not every single popular videogame needs a movie
J0lteoff@reddit
Do little kids still like minecraft? If so it's going to make a ton of money regardless of how good it is. Detective Pikachu made half a billion and that movie could've been written by a 12 year old
galorth@reddit
Concord?
holaprobando123@reddit
Anon looks at an adaptation of literally the best selling videogame in history and wonders why they greenlit it? Is anon stupid?
Horror_Goat_4611@reddit
Everything new looks like a Tim and Eric skit.
pinezatos@reddit
this is another borderlands level of flop, but we all know kids will nag to death their parents to go see because it's minecraft.
Tararator18@reddit
What is it?
HiveMindKing@reddit
What is this lol? I have no idea
AskNinjask@reddit
This will be minecraft in 2013
Sock-less_@reddit
Better see a cameo from that dirt block looking mf on tiktok
Special-Remove-3294@reddit
This shit so ass.
I have never seen a more ass looking movie unironically. These mf's look so out of place. Why not just make animation if you gonna do a MC movie?
SleaterK7111@reddit
What the fuck is anon talking about. Like it or not, a Minecraft movie will make that budget back instantly. As soon as it opens. The amount of kids who will get their parents to take them to see that fucking thing? This was a billion dollar movie before it ever got greenlit.
crying_fox@reddit
I think this has bad timing. The minecraft fever is past.
Rochester_II@reddit
What do expect for a game with BAD GRAPHICS
Sir_DogeGD@reddit
Kid named shaders
Fraud_D_Hawk@reddit
What the hell is that cast, like seriously
295DVRKSS@reddit
They should make a documentary about notch instead of
hufflepuff-at-heart@reddit
Hollywood really is into crap isekai stuff, huh?
lce_Fight@reddit
Ohh god this looks worse than shit
haterofthecentury@reddit
Just should have killed myself in 2015
ConnorOfAstora@reddit
I can already tell Jack Black is going to carry this movie so fucking hard to turn it from a "dogshit" into a "I'd watch this maybe"
dicklord42069@reddit
I thought that was a fake screenshot....
Good_Smile@reddit
Wth happened to Dora the Explorer? Drank too much cola?
AlphaMassDeBeta@reddit
Illumination would've done it for half that budget.
Eldritch_Ayylien66@reddit
Ya know, they could've made a fairly decent animated movie akin to the Mario movie but no we got a stupid Minecraft Isekai instead.
terribletimingtim@reddit
Um, excuse me. But wtf is this?
distortionisgod@reddit
Yeah it looks regarded.
Yeah it's for like actual 9 years olds. Move along. Sorry if you have kids and have to watch it - that's absolutely awful.
tommytookalook@reddit
Creativity isn't loved in Hollywood these days
trainedfor100years@reddit
What the fuck is this shit?