Anon tries to kill everyone

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TrekStarWars@reddit

”But I rolled nat 20! That has to mean I automaticaöly succeed in it!?!”

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The_Knife_Pie@reddit

When bro has never been told crit success on skill checks doesn’t actually exist

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DaveSmith890@reddit

It does at my table. But the taller the ask, the bigger the fail. Like you can want to steal an item on a level 20 elder dragon’s neck while talking to him, if you get nat 20 you will.

Pretty much every other roll with start a fight in disadvantage and nat 1 he just instantly downs you

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The_Knife_Pie@reddit

Bout to jump over the moon as an unaided human fighter brb

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This reminds me. One time I was playing Call of Cthulu (Homebrewed because it's MP system is perfect for an adventure style game) and I had an NPC roll with advantage for a food eating contest against a PC.

For context, a NAT 1 on a d100 is like a NAT 20 from D&D.

Some fucking how, this NPC rolled quadruple 0's. That's right. He rolled a NAT 100 twice on advantage. Absolute fumble. So I went on to describe how he had food poisoning, resulting not only in the loss of the contest but him escaping out the window when they went in to investigate the bathroom.

In short, my party also fled to avoid the plumbing bill in-game. Idk the odds of rolling a NAT 100 twice but I'm convinced my dice are cursed...

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Odd-Accident-7188@reddit

One small roll for man, one giant leep for the DM to continue their story.

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UristMcMagma@reddit

You play wrong and I hate you

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DungeonCrawler99@reddit

While I know badwrongfun policing is wrong, God damn if hearing about people playing with le epic nat 20 rules doesn't make my skin crawl.

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SotovR@reddit

where is the issue

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The_Knife_Pie@reddit

“I, lvl 1 human with no magic and 6 strength, wish to jump over the moon. I rolled a nat 20.”

Either you break your own rule about nat20s always succeeding, turn your campaign into a farce or just realise that at no point was crit success for skill checks a thing, it’s dumb homebrew, and throw it out.

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Reddingbface@reddit

Just don't let people roll skill checks for things that aren't possible or at all reasonable? Nat 20 rules or no actually rolling to jump over the moon is fucking stupid and wouldn't happen at a table of actually decent players who like your game instead of jackasses. You are getting mad about a totally outlandish hypothetical.

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MadHatterFR@reddit

Why not keep it foe things that are not plausible, like the example you provided. Keep it to have a small chance in a situation of true desperation. The rare flipping of table is as fun as the game can be.

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DungeonCrawler99@reddit

The problem is it isn't rare. 5 percent of the time, usually more with how easy advantage is to get in 5e, is really high for the things I've seen people use it for.

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SotovR@reddit

once again - where is the issue?

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DungeonCrawler99@reddit

Thr cruelest part is, on a technicality it's actually how the rules are written. If you roll a 20 the action definitinally has to succeed. But that's only because the dm should never call for a roll where there is no chance of success.

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Lopunnymane@reddit

hehe i play le bard and fuck le dragon, epic nat 20 moment amiright, where reddit gold?

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_Rysen@reddit

depends on the system

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dontquestionmyaction@reddit

But, but... my Baldurs Gate

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Hoophy97@reddit

If he rolled a nat 20, I'd MAYBE let him enter combat at a disadvantage. Just to see what happens

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akamalk@reddit

I would say that if he gets bad rolled should get killed and raped by everyone, but anon would enjoyed it.

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BonkeyKongthesecond@reddit

Would have him imprisoned and chained on the market place by the city guards (if he survived the fight). Then cleetus the village drunk would have his fun with him in the following night

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BonkeyKongthesecond@reddit

As a DM of my group, I'd just go with it. Guy just shouldn't cry if I let him be put in a dungeon by the city guards for it if he rolls bad.

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Steebin64@reddit

"I roll to-"

Triggering statement for me. You, the player do not decide when and what you roll for. Your only right is to tell me what action you are taking and the dungeon master decides whether or not that warrants a roll.

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The_Mad_Duck_@reddit

Downvoted but correct comment, typical reddit

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Steebin64@reddit

The downvotes come from people who've never actually read the players handbook or dungeon masters guide. Its a role-playing game. Having your character say "I roll to" is meta, breaks immersion, and undermines the game master whos job is to facilitate the game mechanics. Even the handbooks essentially tell you "dont metagame. Metagaming is cringe"

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mistress-vivian7@reddit

"But its something my character would d--" nga shut up ur just a sexual deviant. Go out and fuck some real bitches so you dont have to acquire these depraved thoughts.

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The_Mad_Duck_@reddit

I let them try, but these murder hobos don't know how to play DnD. I welcome them to get curb stomped by my AC fucking 25 wizard in melee and put in their place

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WeekendBard@reddit

Can can't fuck real bitches, his social skills are so messed up that even prostitutes will turn him down.

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Zammtrios@reddit

His social skills are so messed up. He has the pretend to have friends to play d&d with.

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Amathril@reddit

"Your character just got a heart attack, was struck by a lightning and at the same time was hit by a truck that came out of nowhere and mangled the corpse beyond any ressurection attemp. Now roll a new one that would do something else."

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

"mfw true resurrection"

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Amathril@reddit

Mfw 'beyond any ressurection means beyond any ressurection'

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

I mean I know we're just fooling around here but how do you be "beyond any resurrection", lol.

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noah9942@reddit

Just say their soul is unable to return to their body. It's trapped in the Hells or something.

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

Well like I was talking to the other guy, in 3.5e there is a 9th level spell Trap the Soul (No idea about 5e counterpart), but like, in session 0 a lich shows up & collects his soul, and the whole campaign is eventually confronting the lich, destroying it and resurrecting your comrade. That'd be some ride.

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Amathril@reddit

Mate, the point here is that if "what yout character would do" includes killing and raping your teammates then that character cannot be part of my table. I need no mechanics for that, this is covered by Rule 0.

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ICoraxI@reddit

There was a 5e module about one way, some lich did shenanigans and made it so people couldn't resurrect

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

I'm not 5e savvy but there is Soul Trap from 3.5e, when a lich kills you it traps your soul in a gem in its possession and the only way to resurrect you is to destroy the lich & the crystal, but that's still "doable" by (still) mortal means.

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wedgie94@reddit

Acererak i think is his name has that abiltiy. Or a demi lich might not sure on that one.

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

I remember there was a 9th level spell called "Trap the Soul" (Or Soul Trap, idk), necromancy school. Probably not a demi-lich then, or do demi-liches have 9th level spell slots?

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wedgie94@reddit

No demi liches at leats the monster can't cast spells

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

Well cool then, thanks for the info.

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wedgie94@reddit

I sometimes run tomb of horrors for randos on roll20. Thats got a demi lich in it. But a named one. Still if i remember he also doesn't have any spells. Just a soul trap abiltiy.

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Amathril@reddit

That is when DM says something like "Your character is so dead that the only way it could be more dead is if I kill you, the player."

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

That is when everyone leaves the table, too, then.

https://i.redd.it/7akf9b1s3mmd1.gif

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Amathril@reddit

Nuh uh. That is when you leave the table. Whether you want or not.

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AChineseNationalist@reddit

The same people the problem player is trying to rape? They’ll leave the table in protest?

Alright then.

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Jimmy-Shumpert@reddit

you made the character! why did you maked them a rapist?!

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sekssekssek@reddit

mandatory murder hobo in every game

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PlsBanMeDaddyThanos@reddit

Stupid fucking moron. Everyone knows you can't do 2 things in 1 turn. You roll to rape FIRST, then NEXT turn you roll to kill.

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Low-Complex-5168@reddit

I’m confused, is this not allowed in DND?

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Street_Text7535@reddit

Welcome to a PuG on Discord...

In July I got kicked out of a game because "All characters had to be trans" and we were told after char creation

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stacker55@reddit

id let him roll then just kill him with DM fuckery and kick them out of the session. if thats how they begin, theres nothing good down the road

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xSaig3@reddit

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ButtersAndRowlet@reddit

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Vkook4life@reddit

I have no idea what this means and i refuse to learn anything about dnd

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smithridley@reddit

I mean, they say you can do anything, but they lie, commie scum

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Giraphite@reddit

Does anyone have a larger picture of the bunny?

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SpacelessChain1@reddit

Anon’s mom rolled with disadvantage during conception, and a nat 1 on the home abortion.

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pheonix42069@reddit

lmao

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optimisticHsplayer@reddit

Upvote for bnuy

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connorgrs@reddit

I laughed for way too long at this

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qqggff11@reddit

Joined friends dnd group thinking it would be chaotic fun like this

Mfw it’s literally just an improv acting group with fantasy setting

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Kcolb3@reddit

What a fucking pussy dm is smh. You should slash his tires

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water_bottle_goggles@reddit

I bet the dm voted for the dems lmao

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Loskyy_@reddit

Me and my friends frequently play Pathfinder together in our half-homebrew campaigns. One of my fellas is fucking unhinged. At the start, I had a curse that turned me permanently into a goblin and took my memories. Krigard (friend's character) is a monk who believes.. in himself. Nat20 on making me believe he's a holy person. Also he's chaotic evil. We proceed further into the campaign, village is in ruin because of cultists, a detachment of paladins tells us to gather info on them.. And then my goblin Zaza and a monk Krigard started a revolution inside the cult (took some good charisma rolls) and our group becomes the new leaders. It totally wrecked DM's plans, but he loved it. The we hardly managed to kill the old leader, 2/3 of us dead, Krigard is on his deathbed. The deity doesn't care in the slightest about who brings souls to him, so now our group is responsible for that. He rebuilds our bodies, freeing my character of the curse. So now I have memories of thinking of Krigard as of a holy person, I'm not actually believing in that at the moment. Whoops, a nat20, my character believes in it again.

Also me and one NPC were crucified by this chaotic evil lunatic, but it's another story.

Also did I mention that we've come up with war propaganda through ventriloquistic arrows and cluster frag grenade?

Dnd is so fucking fun honestly.

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No-Section-4385@reddit

Other guy in table..

I roll to let a demon from the 4th hells too come and grab anon character down..

DM I will allow it.

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

babby's first chaotic evil character

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DerAndere_@reddit

That's more like stupid evil

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manicforlive@reddit

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I_SuplexTrains@reddit

It's the start of the session, right? I've never played an actual D&D campaign, but I'm playing Baldur's Gate III right now. Could the DM just say "Ok if you roll a natural 20 you can rape and kill everyone. Otherwise you are imprisoned for the entire campaign and can't participate"?

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RunInRunOn@reddit

Killing someone involves attacking them, which means you have to play by the rules of combat. So, if you want to rape and kill everyone, you have to beat them to death manually while they're allowed to put up active resistance.

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SilverCross64@reddit

Getting a nat 20 is a 5% chance every time you roll a d20. The idea of “nat 20 means I do anything I want right?” Is a trap many new DMs fall into.

Personally I have a table rule of no sex crimes, which I would mention in session 0. You never know what a person has experienced and it’s one of the worst crimes a person can commit against another, so there’s no reason to possibly trigger that memory “for the lulz” when most players just want to escape for a few hours into a fun fantasy game. That being said, depending on the player it would be a first and last warning to cut the shit and if they insist on rolling then I’d tell them that I don’t plan on setting a precedent where you can say/do something horrible and have a constant 5% chance of getting away with it.

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cheezy270@reddit

I mean they could, but why would they?

From a the standpoint of being a rational human stupidity like this ends one of two ways: Anon says it was a joke, shuts up and let's the game continue, or he should be leaving and not coming back.

From an actual gameplay standpoint I as an amateur DM stop anyone the moment they say "I want to roll...", for anything actually in game. You are here to roleplay first and foremost, the dice, the manual, hp, armor class etc. all exist solely to give some balance and order to the roleplay. You say what you want to do, and I'll tell you what to roll. So in Anon's case he could say "I try to attack X from behind" I'll tell you to roll a stealth check, then to roll initiative for a combat with a surprise turn depending on the stealth check.

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