TheaterFire

Murder sentences are now calculated by subtracting the victim's age from 100.

Posted by NukeDC@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 100 comments

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100 Comments

Cryzgnik@reddit

You murder a 101 year old and you get -1 year to any future prison sentence?
View on Reddit #32557668

afcagroo@reddit

That causes an integer overflow and you're going to be in prison for a very long time.
View on Reddit #32617587

StarChild413@reddit

only if you prove the simulation theory
View on Reddit #61945621

d20diceman@reddit

If you kill a 2 year old and ninety-eight 101 year olds,  you get 0 years 
View on Reddit #32574349

geekwalrus@reddit

r/themathchecksout
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why_not_fandy@reddit

Just like nascar: keep not making a right. Prophet.
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NukeDC@reddit (OP)

99 and over is a 1 year sentence.
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Alkyonios@reddit

I’ll take two!
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LeapIntoInaction@reddit

Too late, dude. Just admit you can't math and were foolish to try.
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Made_Human76@reddit

Does it go up with each offense? Otherwise there would be people who kill a 100 year old, spend a year in prison, then get out and do it again.
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ThaToastman@reddit

Monkeys paw curls, mafias now recruit at senior citizen homes instead of high schools
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poop-machines@reddit

No, he's saying if you *kill* someone who's 100+ its a 1 year sentence for you. Not anything to do with the age of the murderer.
View on Reddit #32564421

ThaToastman@reddit

Ohhhhhh ok So whos down to spend 2 years in jail to knock off a congressperson 😤
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nicholas818@reddit

I think that would also be a [separate federal crime](https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/351) that can fetch life imprisonment or even the death penalty.
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MintPrince8219@reddit

"eh, they had a good life anyway"
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nameyname12345@reddit

Yep you die we pop your brain into a jar and keep ya going for that last year!
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88KRCpodcast@reddit

Damn it would really be on-sight for any geezer
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akgamer182@reddit

This seems like "an eye for an eye" which is an inherently flawed and barbaric concept.
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CovidBorn@reddit

There’d be a lot of seniorcide.
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ObnoxiousName_Here@reddit

I don’t think the reason people kill the people they do is because they don’t expect to go to jail for that long
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pragmojo@reddit

But there would be that one type of person who buys shit they don't need when it's on sale who would turn up at the nursing home with an AR 15
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Coltello8016@reddit

“In tonight’s news there’s been a brutal mass shooting in a nursing home. With ten people dead the suspect is looking at 15 years in prison.”
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JoshAnMeisce@reddit

Yeah but it would give serial killers who don't particularly care about their victims easier targets
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CovidBorn@reddit

Not generally, but you’d be alarmed to discover how many exceptions there are.
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Religion_Of_Speed@reddit

Disagree. The elderly have much more current value than children. Yes, a child has more potential but the elderly have much more wisdom and knowledge that we lose. They've developed strong bonds with people in their lives and have likely made an impact on the world in some way, where a child has not. I can just fuck again and have a replacement to the child that has died in however many years old they were plus 9 months. But to replace grandma I'm gonna have to get a little weirder with the science and, to my knowledge, it wouldn't be possible to recreate her. Basically, a world full of elderly would run better than a world full of children. Therefor the elderly have more value. Hell we used to have 12 kids just so 2 could survive, they're expendable.
View on Reddit #32599366

rigterw@reddit

No, as you said, elderly already have made their impact to the world, now they are just sitting in retirement homes waiting to die. While a young person has still a whole life to go, where they can still work and maybe have a big impact on the world. I think that the value of a human life to society is here and this will get lost if they get murdered young.
View on Reddit #32795349

Religion_Of_Speed@reddit

And the child has made no impact and is replaceable. Their VORP (value over replacement) isn’t very high. Meaning any 2 year old has the same net impact and not much more of an impact than another new kid. Killing an old person is like burning the library of Alexandria
View on Reddit #32796527

rigterw@reddit

Except that the library already has really bad fireplaces who will eventually start a fire anyway
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Religion_Of_Speed@reddit

My furnace is a hazard, should I set fire to my apartment because it could happen one day?
View on Reddit #32819222

rigterw@reddit

No, what I ment is that an old person is likely to die within a few years, so all the stories of the library will soon be gone anyways. If they are really that valuable you should copy them. But what’s more interesting, a library that is mostly empty but gets a new book every day or one that is already filled with books that most have already been red by other people
View on Reddit #32819627

razorfox@reddit

I would correct that formula multiplying the result by a standardized “perceived social value” that is based on your profession, your skills etc
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takethemoment13@reddit

I can't imagine that being used in any kind of racist or bigoted way 
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deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]
View on Reddit #32795557

AutoModerator@reddit

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View on Reddit #32795558

razorfox@reddit

Well forcing someone to 100 years of imprisonment is not very different from sentencing them to death. So it is implicit in op’s reasoning that the life of a young person is worth more than the life of an old person. I merely specified that in addition to age some may want to take into account other variables including the importance of the victim to society.
View on Reddit #32595737

deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]
View on Reddit #32795422

AutoModerator@reddit

Your post was automatically removed because it contains political content, which is off-topic for /r/CrazyIdeas. Please review the subreddit rules and guidelines. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CrazyIdeas) if you have any questions or concerns.*
View on Reddit #32795423

FortWendy69@reddit

Nice try Xi
View on Reddit #32569344

razorfox@reddit

😂
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Juls317@reddit

How very dystopian of you
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LittleDuffy@reddit

This but 200 instead of 100
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rigterw@reddit

So always a life sentence?
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DangerousImplication@reddit

If that happens, a lot of people would be lining up to unalive those 80 year olds famous on the news channels
View on Reddit #32570011

ThrobbingPurpleVein@reddit

> unalive Murder Kill Assassinate Dispatch Terminate End the Life Execute Slay And so many other choices yet you had to use the cringiest one.
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rigterw@reddit

- take out - introduce god to - send to hell - put … under the ground - send … to heaven - give reverse birth to
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SteazyAsDropbear@reddit

Deliberately kill to death
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DangerousImplication@reddit

My previous comment got removed because I mentioned the word ‘pres - idential’ So just figured I’ll be extra safe. 
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ThrobbingPurpleVein@reddit

That's probably because no non pol sub wants any pol in it and that word is as pol as it gets... unless you're talking abouq certain brand of cheese. Ironic that my original comment was removed because I said the name of the cheese brand. As for your worry, the OP said the word murder.
View on Reddit #32574391

deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]
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Your post was automatically removed because it contains political content, which is off-topic for /r/CrazyIdeas. Please review the subreddit rules and guidelines. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CrazyIdeas) if you have any questions or concerns.*
View on Reddit #32573891

Eton77@reddit

I’ve always thought it was pretty funny. Clearly don’t need to get around any filters on Reddit.
View on Reddit #32573781

sgt_salt@reddit

I’d say, subtract from 120 would be more appropriate
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rigterw@reddit

Idk you then can get 50 years for killing a grandpa
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VisceralSardonic@reddit

Hollywood will immediately release a drama about a the murder of a retiree with a leap year birthday
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Riyasumi@reddit

How should you know if it a 1000 year old vampire instead
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VisceralSardonic@reddit

Not only do you get out of jail free, you get to bring some friends when you leave
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oshaboy@reddit

Me when I get sentenced to 3 years in prison and then I just murder a 103 year old and they let me off
View on Reddit #32640629

skipmyelk@reddit

Comedian Chad Daniels has already put some thought into this. [Enjoy!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P-Ii05h-Hnw)
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untamedreverence@reddit

idk kinda puts a value on human life. killing a 2 year old vs an 80 year old is one thing, but how are you going to compare a 30 year old and a 40 year old
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poop-machines@reddit

I think the idea is it's based on how much life you took away from the person.
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oozydoozy123@reddit

But what if the person had no life?
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RedBeardFace@reddit

No arms or legs is pretty much how you live, Kevin, you don’t do anything
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Kylestache@reddit

How do you kill that which has no life
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CodyTheLearner@reddit

Unplug the router
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fakeuserisreal@reddit

It's an older reference, sir, but it checks out.
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Kurotan@reddit

Holy shit, I'm immortal. Fear me mortal peasants.
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Knave7575@reddit

Presumably with the sword of a thousand truths.
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God_like_human@reddit

"but your honor, the victim was a loser"
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BusyMap9686@reddit

"Looking at his records, he was indeed a loser. I order the victim's family to pay you for doing him a favor."
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byteuser@reddit

What if the 30 year old is a sedentary smoker and the 40 year old is a long distance runner? Which one will live longer? or make it even murder What if the 30 is a convicted criminal and the 40 year old is a firefighter hero? etc etc
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poop-machines@reddit

Well since I'm the 30 year old convicted criminal sedentary smoker, I choose that option as the one that lives longer. But no, I don't think it's a good idea. And I'm not really fitting that description.
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RPWPA@reddit

Death sentence should be the norm in western countries tbh
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starmartyr@reddit

That's something that is already done in civil law. If you lose a wrongful death suit the payout is calculated by the victims expected lifetime income. You pay a lot more if you caused the death of a lawyer than a janitor.
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Religion_Of_Speed@reddit

So how do they calculate that? Or is it just vibes? Like are they analyzing the life as a whole to estimate life expectancy? For example, if there is a normal weight janitor and an obese janitor, would it be less for the obese janitor? Do they consider that the normal weight janitor is a smoker while the obese one isn't? Or is it like a ballpark figure to be considered in the rest of the judgement?
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starmartyr@reddit

It's based on lifetime earning potential. A 40 year old janitor can be expected to work for another 25 years. They work out what salary they would earn over that time. There are usually punitive damages on top of that as well. There are a lot of factors that go into it and the courts have ways of assessing it. I'm not an expert on the subject so I can't answer specifically how it is calculated.
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MrSeverum@reddit

10 years.
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deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]
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AutoModerator@reddit

Your post was automatically removed because it contains political content, which is off-topic for /r/CrazyIdeas. Please review the subreddit rules and guidelines. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CrazyIdeas) if you have any questions or concerns.*
View on Reddit #32622317

tomato_johnson@reddit

Idk man, I feel like babies don't count as much
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onlyasimpleton@reddit

What the fuck are you talking about 
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boraspongecatch@reddit

BABIES DON'T COUNT
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onlyasimpleton@reddit

Why
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tomato_johnson@reddit

Bc they're idiots
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thefreecat@reddit

You want to know how much value you can extract from their life's work, but subtract, how much effort you have to put in. On a baby there is still a lot of work to do and the outcome is unclear.
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Chris714n_8@reddit

The elderly are starting to prepare for the purge.. - Let's go before they can use the _-
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Otacon56@reddit

There was that kid that killed an innocent 98 year old for fun a couple years ago. I understand the premise of you what your saying, but there would have to be a minimum sentence for that to make sense. The victims life may have been closer to the end regardless, but him receiving only 2 years for that would have been an injustice.
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TheGunnMan54@reddit

Honestly, that sounds like something that could actually make sense.
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takethemoment13@reddit

no...
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pople8@reddit

Think for more than 2 seconds then...
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iamnogoodatthis@reddit

Call me weird but I don't think you should be able to get away with torturing and killing a 100 year old
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shadwocorner@reddit

he didn't say anything about torture tho
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blackdragon1387@reddit

Yeah dude gtfo out of here with that heinous shit. Can't have a nice hypothetical discussion about elder murder without some psychos hijacking the conversation.
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Dayv1d@reddit

so old people are getting purged?
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jimbobsqrpants@reddit

Does it stack? If "my friend" killed 100, 100+ aged person's, would they have impunity to go around dispatching whomever they chose?
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chucks-wagon@reddit

Open season on old people boys.
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deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]
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Your post was automatically removed because it contains political content, which is off-topic for /r/CrazyIdeas. Please review the subreddit rules and guidelines. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CrazyIdeas) if you have any questions or concerns.*
View on Reddit #32569947

A3-2l@reddit

So if you kill someone younger than you you're fucked.
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just_a_comment1@reddit

I'm mean I'm pretty ok with that
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Justthisguy_yaknow@reddit

You'd have to have a totally perfect justice system for that to be fair.
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