What is your favourite line from the trio?
Posted by West_Cartographer264@reddit | thegrandtour | View on Reddit | 354 comments
Posted by West_Cartographer264@reddit | thegrandtour | View on Reddit | 354 comments
wenoc@reddit
-- James May,
Eth6432@reddit
We 3 blokes from BBC 2,
1 coloured gold car, coloured poo,
OH, brought the wrong cars, brought the right,
Working heaters, working lights,
Westward going, gasket maybe...
Blowing, what a piece of shi-.
DakInBlak@reddit
~ Richard Hammond at this Morris Marina.
The-Farting-Baboon@reddit
suddenly a piano appears
SOTB81@reddit
"It's an ingenious solution to a problem that should've never existed in the first place"
JYCR85@reddit
He who is last, shall be sideways and smiling.
killer_icognito@reddit
Clarkson snaps off his radio
"There that's got it."
razhun@reddit
May has the best long one liners. My other favourite is “It’s like somebody being constantly sick on you while you’re trying to read a nice book”
Palouse_River@reddit
"We're not saying you should do that, just saying you *can* do that." - In reference to unplugging electric cars lmao
Ok_Bag_3484@reddit
When Hammond is in the bike during one of the challenges and he gets almost cut off by a van driver and he cusses him out “you great gangly greasy haired c**t bag.”
Ok_Bag_3484@reddit
I have to add another one from the GT. I don’t know the episode but Jeremy had a million £ car with no ac or rolling windows. So he drills a hole into it and James says “it’s vandalism” Clarkson: “it’s not vandalism.” James: “It’s got a hole in it!”
xKillingTime@reddit
Some of the best swearing I've ever heard.
"What the fucking hell are you? You great gangly fuckknuckled twat, greasy haired cuntbag. Fuck you!"
GoldenKnight1095@reddit
“Brown food, brown drink, calories.”
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Which arm have you broken?
RoofAccomplished1998@reddit
Could you please explain the meaning behind that joke? Clarkson was wheezing and I didn’t know it was supposed to be that funny.
killer_icognito@reddit
I sadly still don't get this one.
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
James had broken his arm prior to filming and was obviously wearing a sling. Asking which arm was broken was sarcasm.
killer_icognito@reddit
Ah. Though I was dying laughing at his steering wheel aid.
razhun@reddit
Which seat do they put in as standard?
epicboy75@reddit
Oh these must be the weapons!
IRiddell0@reddit
Both are absolute classics from James
L3GALC0N-V2@reddit
Came here to say this thank you
Odd_Following_1247@reddit
CLARKSON delivered by James May, Or Jeremy Clarkson's How Hard Can it Be
notmyfirstchoixe@reddit
"CLARKSONNNNNN!!!"
Samie_Nezhad@reddit
There are quite a few in fact:
And basically every time Jezza says a sentence which includes the words "Genius", and "Magnificence"; I myself have started using the word Genius in the same way as Jeremy.
Pagani_lover@reddit
“The orangutan, tried to mend the door”
TheyTheirsThem@reddit
I was reminded of a bridge when they kept talking about that roof on a ag barn outside of Butler, PA. recently Don't want to excite the reddit censors.
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
🤣🤣🤣
Mumia1@reddit
-on driving a bus-
“Is it as easy as sitting here?”
“Yeah. It’s easier actually, because you’re not being filmed, so you can have a joint. NO! Sorry!” -while staring at the camera-
Past-Paleontologist5@reddit
The queen had one you know.
PlagueGarageWrench@reddit
“No city has ever collapsed as fast detroit”
“What about hiroshima?”
“Yes apart from hiroshima”
“Pompei”
“Yes apart from hiroshima and pompei, no other city has collapsed as fast detroit”
ProfessionalOil2757@reddit
Hey sooo does anyone know when the Zimbabwe episode comes out?
BanditoDorito05@reddit
'oh crikey, it's the albanian rozzers!'
I can remember after watching that episode asking my dad if James May was really dead and they really did send his car off the cliff with him in it.
WJ40014@reddit
i still want an answer on how they filmed that bit and all celebrity face offs.
Lost-Train1749@reddit
I was on the internet and I found this....
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Strong pornography. 😏
Advanced_Tomato5713@reddit
YOU PLUMSACK!! -James May
chadh8806@reddit
You are like a rural simpleton.
What do you mean he's 'like' a rural simpleton?
chadh8806@reddit
I might jump in just to dry off a little
chadh8806@reddit
Did you not notice the pump was different?
RoboticAnatomy@reddit
"Monsieur, These pains in your chest, are they getting worse?"
chadh8806@reddit
Lol! "Oh there's advance and retard. I'll retard it."
overusesellipses@reddit
A stall at the lights would be a real bugger.
vanvanfan@reddit
I don't know which was best the line or zé acceńt...
Stock-Creme-6345@reddit
This was hilarious. Are ze pains in yer chest, are zey getting better or worse?
kellix50@reddit
In Buenos Aires, I heard Doctor Mengele failed his road exam here.
HolyDude_TheGarret@reddit
“It’s a bit damp.” James may while trying to ignite an ICBM.
Missyfit160@reddit
It’s easy to get in and out of yew knoooow.
I say this often lol
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Happy Cake Day! 🎂
triggerhappy_7@reddit
JC: Can anybody think of anything worse than stepping on a LEGO at night?
JM: A LAND MINE 🤣
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Dog poo.
KibboKid@reddit
"What could posdibly go wrong"
Chancebenz2003@reddit
CLARKSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RacingBoss@reddit
"I've broken Stalin's house".
KBXDRootBeer6829@reddit
jAmes
Sea_End_1893@reddit
Oh shit he's going to the gulag
lmao
KBXDRootBeer6829@reddit
“You don’t back up on your own digit!”
daboobiesnatcher@reddit
Dacia Sandero
Andy-roo77@reddit
It’s delayed
daboobiesnatcher@reddit
Anyway the new [insert super car]
MexMemer@reddit
“As dawn broke, the peace and serenity of this beautiful Ugandan morning was shattered by the bellow of a wild animal.”
Andy-roo77@reddit
CLARKSON!!!!
Andy-roo77@reddit
Brown food
Torsnes123@reddit
SPEED AND POWAAAAAAAAAAAR
an-font-brox@reddit
“Look at it! It looks like it was done - with a knife and fork, by the council!”
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
“James won’t be so cross about the theft of his bonnet, but the crudeness of the execution of said theft”
an-font-brox@reddit
“I didn’t have any tools!”
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
“THE BACK OF THE CAR IS FULL OF BLOODY TOOLS!!”
CallForBootyMW69@reddit
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
The third one always cracks me up. That whole bit is gold. Jeremy screaming "The door mirror's come off!" as he scrapes his way backwards down the hill.
Or how he describes the problem with the car as "Running... and then stop."
CallForBootyMW69@reddit
I like how Hammond puts the accent on "massive". It sounds like he really means it
SmellsLikeTat3@reddit
that golf one is brilliant, shame to see it so far down
CallForBootyMW69@reddit
His laugh is really what gets me, and the combination of Jeremy's face!
NonRangedHunter@reddit
JC: "I am the meat in an incompetent sandwich"
Hammond: "Are you staring at the world through a cows ring?"
May: "you're a fully rigged, grade A, ocean going pillock"
nmann14@reddit
HAMMOND YOU IDIOT YOU'VE REVERSED INTO THE SPORTS LORRY
The-Farting-Baboon@reddit
HAMMOOOOND!!!
HydeParkSwag@reddit
I yell this at my friends on a weekly basis.
GeoSheep17@reddit
I was here to say this
Tricky_War5232@reddit
An ingenious solution to a problem that didn’t need to exist
-piso_mojado-@reddit
Hippo Head conversation by a mile.
Themathemagicians@reddit
Four partings
SWBuilder12@reddit
Good News, it's the Dacia Sandero!
mrfist9@reddit
Not a single day goes by I don't say "SOOOOREEEY"
ScreamingFly@reddit
"...for a series of challenges" and my brain goes automatically in relax mode.
RangerX41@reddit
"I was the first to arrive and as you expect, I have done this properly."
newkidontheblock1776@reddit
And as you can expect, I’ve done this proper
Benji_4@reddit
then shows up with a french car
IveDoneThisProperly@reddit
You called?
PayneTrain181999@reddit
“I’ve received a message from Mr. Wilman.”
jb28737@reddit
"you idiots"
manuel_f_p@reddit
"yeah?"
killer_icognito@reddit
It's exactly what I don't say after sex.
killer_icognito@reddit
It's exactly what I say after sex.
Vanadium_V23@reddit
Say what you want about these guys but they mastered catchphrases.
PopeInnocentXIV@reddit
Meanwhile...
SoyMurcielago@reddit
Oh no! Anyways
vpat48@reddit
And on that bombshell 🥲
Neamow@reddit
I've started to end some of our work team meetings with this if applicable.
killer_icognito@reddit
The meanwhile bit always gets me.
VanillaGorilla-@reddit
"How hard can it be?" Sometimes followed up by "Don't say that!"
ScreamingFly@reddit
Sometimes I say that (How hard can it be) at work but nobody replies with don't say that and I feel a bit sad.
djmarcone@reddit
You should try to fit in some "back to the studio" see how that goes
Tommy55r2@reddit
you muppet
GruntUltra@reddit
Clarkson fires up the chainsaw: "I am the Lord of Hellfire!"
Turbo_Nijlpaard@reddit
Not the exhaust manifold. Said Richard and James calmly
MossySloth69@reddit
Africa Special. Clarkson's car has conked out at the airport. He proceeds to hit it with a hammer.
"What else is electrical in here"
May and Hammond - "Not the exhaust manifold"
P_weezey951@reddit
"Theres an old tradition in this country, on every 3rd Wednesday of every month, which is what today is. People with a black tee shirt, and a picture of a stupid russian spark plug on it... Shut up!"
Themathemagicians@reddit
I AM THE MOST MISERABLE HUMAN BEING ALIVE! WHERE'S THIS RESTAURANT!
Alluk@reddit
Can’t remember what car it was in but James tries to set the clock and he goes: Manual, semi-automatic??? Oh these are the weapons.
Brushface@reddit
"He's saying take the Third Reich" from May, gets me every time
aragornelessar86@reddit
We're on the cutting edge of cocking about.
HaydenB@reddit
You are a fully rigged, rate A1, ocean going, pillock
Beemzebub@reddit
Looks like it’s been done with a knife and fork by the COUNCIL
CailoRen1337@reddit
I don't mind you taking a bit of my bonnet, that's fair. What I do mind is you doing such an appalling bloody job of it, you ham fisted oaf.
purplehammer@reddit
Honestly I could do a better job than that with the end of a bulldozer!
Depressedmusclecar23@reddit
Your doing a council out of a job man
nmann14@reddit
Damn I change my answer. Can't believe I forgot about this lol.
OmgItsWillyG@reddit
Clarkson: “Ah now Rich, would you like some pussy?”
May: “Which chair do they put in as standard?”
Hammond: “OLIVERRRR!!!”
razhun@reddit
May’s follow up “what flavour is it?” is just as hilarious as Clarkson’s original question
nicodepies@reddit
Flavour?
razhun@reddit
LEAVE IT
purplehammer@reddit
Leave it! Leave it! Leeeeave it!
Yeahhhh moving on! 🤣
lordjems@reddit
Pour some pussy on it!
_A_Friendly_Caesar_@reddit
I've put the Christmas tree out with some Pussy
CobaltTJ@reddit
"what is it? Is it a chair leg?"
Mediocre-Amphibian10@reddit
Oh, no! Anyway.
Hauptmann_Harry@reddit
7 litre V8 Motor
Perfect_Sprinkles627@reddit
«At this point something very small arrived… in a Mini»😂 (reffering to Hammond arriving in a Mini Cooper)
Blimborium@reddit
HAAAMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOND
Willing_Computer8033@reddit
Still, could be worst
HanzoHasashi2020@reddit
GOOD NEWS!
Beeegfoothunter@reddit
Always wondered what it was - reruns show it in a long shot or blurred🤷🏻♂️
Goodman4525@reddit
Well ... Please confirm your legal age before I can safely dispense the information
Beeegfoothunter@reddit
Old enough to know better?
Goodman4525@reddit
Good
DakInBlak@reddit
People who went to live tappings have said it was also some form of pornography.
HanzoHasashi2020@reddit
I believe it was a picture of a man placing his penis into the tailpipe of a Range Rover
Beeegfoothunter@reddit
Ahhhhh, so real life “dragoning”!
Meior@reddit
I can't wait for it to choose reverse!
BenefactorEnthusiast@reddit
When James May was an old lady
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
was? he IS an old lady
Gloomy-Painter-3596@reddit
he was born an old lady
QTsexkitten@reddit
The whole episode of them crashing into eachother and making french remarks. Ooo la la!
DamDam00@reddit
« Excusez-moi, où est…la boulangerie ? » « il est là, 200 mètres, tout droit » « merci monsieur ! »
CombativeCanuck@reddit
« Au revoir monsieur! »
Stock-Creme-6345@reddit
Merde
CombativeCanuck@reddit
JC: There’s only one tool you need for gardening. And I’ve got it!
JM: It’s a hammer.
RH: It’ll be a hammer. IT’S NOT A HAMMER!
JC: This… (holding a break action shotgun)
JM: Is that a hoe?
svenneke01@reddit
RH: If i were a girl, i'd be pregnant a lot. JM: Permission to say cock on national television? Cock. JC: How hard can it be?
wardenstark8@reddit
May to Clarkson, A crushing criticism, from one so handsome.
BigMelonKing@reddit
I didnt get it, explain?
Peg_leg_tim_arg@reddit
I think clarkson comments on james' outfit choice. Is it from the beginning of the Patagonia special
Gloomy-Painter-3596@reddit
No, this quote is from The Grand Tour season 1 ep. 12
PartWonderful8994@reddit
the one in the bentayga right?
Gloomy-Painter-3596@reddit
That's correct
Huxtopher@reddit
It was the interior of the Bentley Bentayga from censored to censored
Goodman4525@reddit
"You know how we hated the Bentley Continental, and then it got better and better as goes on. I think this is more like you James. You're ugly when we first saw you, and now, you're still ugly.
FrostyOwl97@reddit
Clarkson basically says to may that when he met he was ugly, and now he is still ugly, so may came out with that lava roasting line.
tangre79@reddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R91_I6248Ms
wenoc@reddit
Which word did you have trouble with? Or was it the sarcasm?
razhun@reddit
Clarkson said something about May’s hair or clothing, and this was his comeback
BigMelonKing@reddit
May called him handsome?
razhun@reddit
With a strong hit of sarcasm of course
Limey_2008@reddit
It was the grand tour in the off roaders driving through the explicitly named places, and hammond and jezza sat in the back of james' Bentley when he said that.
Blod_Cass_Dalcassian@reddit
Jeremy- "Gravity... A cruel and unpredictable mistress " James- "No it's not it's a constant."
D0rnL1ves@reddit
Not really a line, but I love Hammond’s rant about the Nissan Juke.
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
It really was an ugly car. Second only to the Pontiac Aztek.
Goodman4525@reddit
It still is an ugly car
razhun@reddit
Ssangyong Rodius be like: am I a joke to you?
Kevvyspaghetti@reddit
"The damn doors come off!"
WJ40014@reddit
james may "and thats like saying youve given me a kid now get in the back" or smth
Bballfreak11@reddit
Princess Diane had one of these…all time great
Sniperm0nke@reddit
i still never understood it, could you explain 😭
craigmontHunter@reddit
Princess Diana was very active with a charity that worked to remove land mines IIRC, but there is a jump from “being active with” and “I’ll go jump in my mine disarming tractor”.
Perilous_Giant@reddit
It was also a tie back to the old joke “princess Anne had one of these”
JYCR85@reddit
She had a Reliant Scimitar you know.
Sniperm0nke@reddit
ah ok thanks
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
I love that even the crew cracks up. 🤣
dawidwilku@reddit
"Alright constable but please, be gentle"
staywhobystraykith@reddit
"Which seat comes as standard ?" or "Good News, it's a Dacia Sandero !"
kinda_fellin@reddit
Clarkson getting pulled out of the mud “my arm parts” lives rent free in my head.
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
"His plums are in the Amazon!"
djpizarro@reddit
“It was unmistakable a doormat with some nails in it”
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
"Oh, no! He's driven 'round it!"
Massive-small-thing@reddit
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
"Oh, Jesus! I mean Buddha."
Lewinator56@reddit
"this, wizards sleeve for example..."
"JAMES! don't do the pork sword..."
"This cock" "has it got 4 rings on it..."
"Put his cock in your wizards sleeve..."
That whole scene to be honest.
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
The yearly "Christmas present" segments were just so good.
FartingBob@reddit
If i hurt myself in front of my kid or at work i'll often say "NON BBC2 WORD."
Toddryck@reddit
Where is this from? 😂
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
I want to say the Burma special? James' truck breaks down, he moves to try and fix something, burns his fingers and then yanks his hand away while muttering "Non-BBC2 word..."
Toddryck@reddit
Cheers! Gives me an excuse to watch it again. (Not that anyone needs one. 😉)
Themathemagicians@reddit
"...it's called the Growler..."
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
"Wolfgang! Ve haff accidentally named ze car after ein Fraugarten!"
Peg_leg_tim_arg@reddit
"Actually it's because Christ the king hasn't risen yet"
whatdhell@reddit
That is in fact, Jezzas back alley.
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
"Well found!"
Peg_leg_tim_arg@reddit
Well found!
sjamdacnmx@reddit
From the Middle East Special when they were forbidden entry to Iran:
Clarkson: “I bet the original Three Wise Men never had this problem.”
Hammond: “Well, they weren’t BBC, were they?”
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
"Have you ever heard of this program called 'The News?'"
"... well, I'm aware of it."
razhun@reddit
Clarkson: Sometimes my genius… it’s almost frightening.
Hammond: I’d love to be a drunk queen!
May: I think it must be damp…
Peg_leg_tim_arg@reddit
I love when Clarkson says "Monterey jack" in his American voice
ToxicMoldSpore@reddit
Not just "Monterey Jack," but "Monterey Jack on a Taaaaco."
SauretEh@reddit
*moneray jyack
Sea_End_1893@reddit
Clarkson says Jaaaaaag the same way he says "with cheeeeese" and you heard it exactly in your head when you read this
existential_chaos@reddit
The drunk queen thing was so out of nowhere I cackled xD the look on Richard’s face didn’t help either
SweetRevenge11@reddit
You look like something found in a pyramid
Psychological_Try559@reddit
This needs to be higher up! Clarkson tried so hard to recover from that line, Hammond...did not.
ComradeJFN@reddit
Still could be worse
Admirable_Otter@reddit
"Take the third reich" from James "Sometimes my genius... it's almost frightening" from Jeremy And "OLIVER!" from Hammond.
DaDawkturr@reddit
“I was very clear on this, now you’re going to get machete’d to death!”
I426Hemi@reddit
This is it for me. I cannot watch it without rewinding that part.
JobeRogerson@reddit
James is killing Jeremy.
purplehammer@reddit
Did your co-presenter on your television programme just attack you with a machete?
That doesn't happen on like clothes programmes or gardening shows...
JobeRogerson@reddit
Look! A hippo’s head!
It’s probably a whole hippo, it’s just that the rest of him in under the water.
littedemon@reddit
If I was a girl i'd be pregnant a lot
killer_icognito@reddit
I actually use this line when I have cold or am sick and fail to take medicine.
deepponderingfish@reddit
"Let's not get bogged down on who's fault it is...." I always use that one
BigFdiesel@reddit
It’s looking good door falls off
Bigdickmob@reddit
“You look like a gay cowboy with a broken windscreen wiper. And for face looks ridiculous”
MidlandsRepublic2048@reddit
CLARKSOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!?
bloxtann@reddit
Some say....
sotirisbos@reddit
Could you just make that go a bit further in the back? Clarkson, S15E06
And
Christ the King hasn't risen yet. May, Africa special
somerandodude83@reddit
Clarkson inevitably “It’s not gone well” Say it on the regular myself!
Shades909@reddit
COCK!
Comfortable-Writer-9@reddit
"that's the first car ever to pogo up a hill"
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
JOHN!!
Comfortable-Writer-9@reddit
"The mountaineer of many things, has shaken his brake pedal off, but has made it to the top!"
missminority182@reddit
No no James no no James that's the skoda catholic church
SaberiusPrime@reddit
Princess Diana had one of these...
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
GIOVANNI!!
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
“no, not now Cato” “n-no Cato no that’s-thats inappropriate Cato”
Donified_Gaming@reddit
reading all of the comments, I can still hear every single one of them.
Themathemagicians@reddit
THIS is brilliant, but I LIKE THIS
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
“You can have better dogs than my West Highland Terrier, BUT I LIKE my West Highland Terrier. YES, it bites the postman, and it leaves dog eggs all over the kitchen and it steals food BUT! ITS BRILLIANT!”
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Labradog.
KeyNefariousness6848@reddit
When Jeremey announces may or the Hampster have died.
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
“So, if you’d like a job at Top Gear, please write to us at ‘I’m better than Richard Hammond WAS’ uhhhh London…Wood Lane W12”
Tfcas119@reddit
"Take the Third Reich"
-James May
Hammond's rant about how a horse ruined his life
"I've put the fire out... with some Pussy."
-Clarkson
Honorable Mention to May and Hammond arguing between the Nissan GT-R and Bentley Continental
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
SAYS THE MAN WEARING A JACKET WOVEN STRAIGHT OUT OF PURE 1935!! YOU’RE JUST BEING A WANKER!!
Slight_Ad_1474@reddit
(On the topic of colored tires) May: “They should use these when they ordain a new pope!”
Hammond: “What, do they just have some Italian pikey in his little Fiat Uno sat up somewhere in the Vatican ‘Right, is he ready? Okay, Now! REEEEEE’”
TomShane256@reddit
"Does that mean he is not coming on then"
whovian5690@reddit
May: "This has never been done before."
Hamster: "No. We are truly on the cutting edge of cocking about."
wmxx2000@reddit
If they ever had a tagline, that should have been it. Top Gear: The Cutting Edge of Cocking About
IRiddell0@reddit
When Jeremy got stuck in the ditch with his Jeep "Could you give me a tow because I'm so close to coming out" "Well me know that, you bought a Jeep."
Stock-Creme-6345@reddit
Would you like some black cock? Now get that down your neck
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
🤔😏
Hungryweeb-sg@reddit
"Is that a hoe?"
IRiddell0@reddit
"Ooh! It's broken the Machine!!"
purplehammer@reddit
It was a place which seemed to be mostly full of sheds, and what kind of nerd would find those interesting?
wow!
stu482@reddit
I think there is a slope on the bridge!
That_Competition1031@reddit
Hammond you idiot
Invincible_Reason@reddit
"You look like a gay cowboy and you look like a gay terrorist"
"You think it fell out of James' luggage?"
"A pair of tin snips looks like a pair of robust scissors and their function is obvious."
HarpySix@reddit
"GODSPEED, CAPTAIN SLOW!!!!"
Unable-Telephone-139@reddit
Princess Diana Had one of these
_conjohn@reddit
“Never been shouted at so much. I need a zesty drink”
Badhairdayboy@reddit
Princess Diana had one of these.
Twister2418@reddit
I never understood this line. Obviously I know who princess diana is, but I still don’t get it. Can someone explain?
Badhairdayboy@reddit
Princess Diana had a lot to do with charities focused on removing landmines from less developed countries, so the joke is that she owned one of those and would be driving it to clear minefields: https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20240112-princess-dianas-1997-landmine-walk-i-come-with-my-heart
Twister2418@reddit
Ahhhh ok. Thanks!!
BriMaster9000@reddit
I’m allergic to manual labor so I used horsepower instead
Zamboni4201@reddit
James May to Clarkson, “you look like something found in a pyramid” after Hammond said Clarkson should moisturize.
2nd of the Columbia specials.
https://youtu.be/zMM6zo2_PU8?si=EZcjhYt00x1LExrp
omnicious@reddit
JC: Richard Hammond, on the streets of London this has a value of 12 million pounds.
RH: No mate. On the shelves of Tesco that has about the value of a fiber.
JC: It's not rice!
RH: Are you going to cut it with peas?
JM: Hue hue hue hue.
GadgetHamster@reddit
"Hammond you blithering idiot" has always stuck with me, intonation and all.
Themathemagicians@reddit
"I promise you this won't stop the mini. Partly because it's not substantial enough, but mostly because you built the barrier in front of this slope, and the mini is coming down from that one."
"Right... Some adjustments..."
"Did nobody tell you?"
NO, BECAUSE I'D HAVE BUILT IT OVER THERE!"
A_Drunk_Caribou@reddit
This scene just played in my head for first time in years, and I can't thank you enough 😂
Spaciernight@reddit
Not a line, but the childish prank of turning the seat heaters on. James and Richard had a little game going. I can't remember the episode or reason they were traveling together.
Themathemagicians@reddit
Aber ja natürlich Hans ist nass, er steht unter dem Wasserfall
pope-burban-II@reddit
This one
Single-Plantain9616@reddit
"but at least it soon got worse"
Stock-Creme-6345@reddit
Still….. could be worse……. There’s YouTube videos with just these words and it’s hilarious
dbcwb@reddit
Which seat comes standard?
Eden1506@reddit
Sometimes my genius is frightening
Bantabury97@reddit
You are a fully rigged, rate A, ocean going.. pillock.
Sea_End_1893@reddit
I used this in an argument once, in the Navy discussing new paperwork protocols
"You're a grade-A, ocean-going, nuclear powered, OSHA certified dumbass."
Basically, jargon, someone in the Maintenance Control asked that everyone use the same password in NALCOMIS so that the POs and Chiefs can log in and sign off on all work chits without having to memorize other people's passwords.
Crimes on top of crimes on top of crimes.
christoph__er@reddit
‘It must be damp’
skanderbeg_alpha@reddit
"I've broken Stalin's house"
olorcanticum@reddit
"Manual... Semi-automatic...? Oh, these are the weapons!"
MysteriousHousing489@reddit
holds shotgun
"Is that a hoe?"
Electromech13@reddit
Sometimes my genius, it generates gravity. Or any of the other Clarkson Genius moments
Desher_ER@reddit
Clarkson: James where is he?
James: In the pub i imagine.
Clarkson: He can't be in the pub he was wounded.
James: Why not?
Clarkson: He was dying, he's got 10 minutes to live.
BeginningEggplant865@reddit
Princess Diana had one of these.
MagicHaus@reddit
thip thip
I think it must be damp
Competitive_Lie2628@reddit
Cue Sonic music
ShaneTheGamer@reddit
"oh no...anyways"
mollyno93@reddit
“I’ve broken Stalin’s house.”
hfcobra@reddit
"I'm going to go outside and wax the Growler."
cptkl1@reddit
Hammond, May.
Bad luck
tortiepants@reddit
Blinders on, and off we go
blackchiBBas@reddit
a satnav....
Kevinator24@reddit
“When he finds that his precious grand piano is propped up by a mountain of pornography, he’s going to go APE.”
aldamini1@reddit
"Hammond, you cunt"
Pendell@reddit
May, "Bloody Nora!"
TrainerMT@reddit
“Hammond you idiot” or “Hammond you blithering idiot”
Elegant-Account-868@reddit
I know it’s just one of them, but I mutter to myself “Speed and Power” anytime I’m about to do something goofy.
CodRick21@reddit
“Hammond you idiot, you’ve reversed into the sports lorry!!”
Andymania_@reddit
Still, could be worse Anyways CCLLLLLLLLLLLAAARRRKKKKSSSOOOOONNNNN (Clarksons 928 story) TONIGHT!/And on that bombshell Some say he ___ and that he ___. All we know is, he called The Stiiiiiggggggggggg
sschm007@reddit
Hammond! You idiot!
OriginalGirth@reddit
Hammond talking about the Hellcat in the TGT: "They even remove all the extra seats as standard to save weight". May: "which one do they give you as standard?"
Allatura19@reddit
“The 928….. (nods).”
Themathemagicians@reddit
"Why does it have five legs?"
"Maybe because then it can milk itself"
Themathemagicians@reddit
"Did you make a note of how high it is?"
I haven't done that
"Yes"
"He hasn't got a clue"
LJCMOB1@reddit
In the Mongolia special Hammond after Clarkson appoints himself camp cook “Whilst the raging baboon….”
Themathemagicians@reddit
"That's not a ho"
angusgtw@reddit
limp-wristed twaddle
theshea1@reddit
"Did you shrink that man gypsy?"
LemmingLou@reddit
"As you can imagine viewers, I've done this properly..."
I loved how pleased he was with himself moments before disaster. "
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Oh, cock!
amber_ilumire@reddit
“You don’t think it fell out of James’s luggage, do you?”
hamsterfolly@reddit
My genius…
captinbeefhart@reddit
“We are rubbish”
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Ambitious but rubbish.
RomanianMagyar1996@reddit
"I've broken Stalin's house!"
shibe_ceo@reddit
Look what you’ve done to my bloody shed, man!
BadlyWordedOpinions@reddit
"Why don't you put the fire out, and use your face"
Ziyaadjam@reddit
Princess Anne had one of those, you know
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
Diana
Ziyaadjam@reddit
No it’s the bit on Top Gear when they mention the Reliant Scimitar
DirtGuy@reddit
Anytime Clarkson references his genius.
scanman898@reddit
Hello
wokkel4005vz@reddit
Hammooonnnnddddd!
HerrMatthew@reddit
"I've lived, Nigel Mansell has been decapitated, and my candelabra is in tatters"
KoningSpookie@reddit
"... and no-one in the history of human kind has ever said that before"
ManuMora98@reddit
Still, could be worse
SauretEh@reddit
MONKEYS!
Crowleyisatwat@reddit
“Looking good is more important than looking where you’re going” - Jeremy (something to do with an alfa romeo)
boogaloo29@reddit
"Hammond, we're about to rejoin the main road, I'm going to have to get out and kill you very slowly I'm afraid"
Treysif@reddit
“It’s a bit damp”
Dazzling-Kale-366@reddit
May “I think it must be damp”
Berthole@reddit
Just Clarkson, something along lines: ”Many people write us and tells us we are not focusing enough to common people, sensibly priced, family hatchbacks. So pick either this Ford or WV. Now, the new Aston Martin Vanquish…”
TheWiseDucky@reddit
“Sometimes my genius, it frightens me.”
Any-Performer2874@reddit
“These are good words, turbo and active, so I combined them to make ‘turboactive’.” - James May
Globox42@reddit
I still don't understand that joke
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
It's a machine that clears landmines. Princess Diana was an advocate for clearing landmines.
Plastic-Exit-8346@reddit
“Oh No! He overtook me in his HMS Pornography” -Jeremy Clarkson -Cambodia/Vietnam Special
bassie2019@reddit
CLARKSOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
AmericanNomad8@reddit
"manual, semi-automatic? - ohh these are the weapons! "
Architect81@reddit
Slope on the bridge
West_Cartographer264@reddit (OP)
🥂
marry_me_jane@reddit
“Which seat do they put in as standard?”
CobraGTXNoS@reddit
And on that terrible dissappointment... So they aren't coming on now? No James. And of course the "HAMMMOOOOOND!/CLARKSOOOON!"
Illustrious-Market86@reddit
And on that bombshell, i mean i like it, but also its the end of the episode, soo...
spenwallce@reddit
The exact screenshot you posted
Frosty-Nature-5052@reddit
Anytime Clarkson says, “the beebee Jesus”
Xalo_Gunner@reddit
"So easy to get in and out of, you know."
Astandsforataxia69@reddit
CLARKSOOON
FlashyYam2835@reddit
Misquoting but: 'Look, a hippopotamus head.' 'It's probably a whole hippopotamus.'
Grunt636@reddit
My flair
Limey_2008@reddit
"Philistine"
Gloomy-Painter-3596@reddit
Are you sure that doesn't say immersed in wax?
Slogstorm@reddit
"Technically it's not drunk driving, because we are in international waters and there are no drunk driving laws"
AZDawgDays@reddit
Must be damp
naughtilidae@reddit
That was my first thought, lol
"crikey it's the Albanian Rozzers!" has to be a close second though
Gragachevatz@reddit
Anyway.
Andrexosaurus@reddit
You have to start with hello.