Bottoms! Why are you like this?
Posted by jellylemonshake@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 224 comments
Posted by jellylemonshake@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 224 comments
Dr_Axton@reddit
The guy wanted to fool around, maybe it’s his way to feel comfortable. Idk why, but now I feel sad
Scary-Nefariousness9@reddit
Fr maybe he's just that lonely and just tried hooking up with anon to have an excuse to have fun
I wanna hug him.
imjustgoose@reddit
We need to organise a tea party. I’ll bring my collection of Shadow the Hedgehog plushies 🙏
Scary-Nefariousness9@reddit
Hell yeah i'm bringing my we bare bears plushies, i have all 3
imjustgoose@reddit
Argh! I have an Ice Bear, can I bring him too or do you want to be the only We Bare Bears plushie person?
Scary-Nefariousness9@reddit
You can bring him, i bet they'll become friends
imjustgoose@reddit
Awesome! I’ll bake some sweets and make tiny sandwiches so it’ll be like afternoon tea 💪
AmericanDadWeeb@reddit
This is such bullshit
Ice bears would not become friends. There can only be one ice bear per friend group.
You can have 3 pandas and unlimited grizzlys
RedCargo1@reddit
Plushies >>>>>
I_am_Reptoid_King@reddit
jellylemonshake@reddit (OP)
Why do you have that image?
TroubledTill@reddit
What was it?
FluffyTailToucher01@reddit
Serious-Ad4594@reddit
Which character is this and which anime
N3cromorph@reddit
Holy Chit
I_am_Reptoid_King@reddit
Why do you not have this image?
OldManMoment@reddit
That sounds less like bottom and more like brain damage.
degenpiled@reddit
Nah just trauma + autism. Be nice to your bottom and their plushies
SupperDup@reddit
Get that plussy
googlin@reddit
Reporting for duty, sir
stromyoloing@reddit
Angry updoot
Murky-Vegetable-9353@reddit
Is that what it is - trauma? I've wondered why a few of the women I've dated have had far too many stuffies. They've all been molested, so I guess it tracks.
Accurate_Ad_8012@reddit
Who's molesting plushies?
Dondasdeadheartbeat@reddit
Me, no plushie is safe
lynxerious@reddit
get away from my pokemon collection, you will not be allowed to touch my Weepinbell
DeepFriedNugget1@reddit
What about barboach
OldManMoment@reddit
Tap that fat Snorlax booty.
Reee_Dwarf@reddit
There is a sub for male sissies, that prefer plushies to a real woman. Molesting plushies is real.
Chaos_Primaris@reddit
😈
Human-Boob@reddit
I think I know a guy
def-jam@reddit
The Ambushed Paddington sex maneuver:
While engaged in sexual activity and reaching the moment of climax, withdraw and finish all over the plushies.
Paddington is picked because he always wears a rain coat.
SnarkAndAcrimony@reddit
Y'know, this tracks
WashYourEyesTwice@reddit
Shut the fuck up
Lythieus@reddit
Trevor for sure.
THE_BIG_SAD3@reddit
Mr. Raspberry Jam brought great joy to a lonely man...
crimsonpowder@reddit
You run out of bike seats to sniff, the plushies are next.
TaxIdiot2020@reddit
Like 90% of Zoomers have severe childhood trauma I’m convinced. There’s no other explanation for this type of shit.
ambermage@reddit
No, they don't.
They just copy the social queues that they see other people gain benefits from.
If person X gets special treatment by saying / doing YYY, then other people will do the same.
It's the basis of learned behavior.
GuilhermeMassaYT@reddit
you guys dont know shit and think you do
Fun-Pollution1465@reddit
You just have a thing for molested people or something?
Murky-Vegetable-9353@reddit
No, it's just that many women have been molested. If you date enough people, you will almost certainly date someone who has been molested. It's basically an inevitability.
ski-person@reddit
Statistically speaking either your mom, your sister, or your daughter has been molested.
TaxIdiot2020@reddit
I mean this greentext is about a dude behaving the same way. Seems like it’s a combination of sexual assault and mental illness that has turned a whole generation into hypersexual adult children. Very disturbing.
CHEMO_ALIEN@reddit
he meets women at work, but he's a science teacher.
Imotaru@reddit
I think you might be underestimating how common it sadly is.
SOMEMONG@reddit
How many is too many?
TDawgTheNerevar@reddit
Trautism
irishpwr46@reddit
Trautism
venbrou@reddit
As a bottom I guarantee it's a ploy. And maybe a bit of autistic hype-fixation subconsciously mixed with nest building instincts due to the breeding kink... But mostly a ploy, I swear!
The bottom was waiting for Anon simply ask "May I...?" before aggressively pinning him against the wall out of impatients, throwing him onto the pile of plushies that's on the bed, and/or sharing a sleeping bag with him.
It is so much hotter when the dom initiates and takes control. 💜
SmugAndEvil@reddit
Bro you good?
venbrou@reddit
For four days now my boobs have been a bit sore and annoyingly sensitive, all of my emotions have been chaotically ricocheting around in my skull, my libido has been unwaveringly stuck at 150%, and my wife is too far away to help.
Fuck no, I'm not good.
ThrowRAIdiotLover007@reddit
Wya?
venbrou@reddit
Now why on earth would you want to know that?
ThrowRAIdiotLover007@reddit
It seemed like you needed help
venbrou@reddit
I see... So what makes you think you could help in a way that would tempt me to cheat on my wife?
ThrowRAIdiotLover007@reddit
Nibling huh. Nibling what's that. Why would I help you cheat on your wife?
venbrou@reddit
Well now we're back to the question of why you want to know where I'm at. And what the fuck are you on about asking what "nibling" is? It's not even spelled right.
ThrowRAIdiotLover007@reddit
Gosh you're denser than a neutron star.
I give up ✋😑🤚
OldManMoment@reddit
Well, let the dom KNOW and they'll happily do that for you.
qwerty_9537@reddit
Awesome 🎸👍
DaveSmith890@reddit
I’ve found a large overlap in socially inept folk who had bad childhoods and extremely kinky submissives
MonsutaReipu@reddit
Yep. Not even 'socially inept', but kinky submissives usually just had childhood trauma or daddy issues. When a girl dresses alt/goth and has squishmallows or hello kitty in her bedroom, you know she's gonna be a freak.
JerryUitDeBuurt@reddit
What's the male equivalent? Monsters and cigarettes?
Towbee@reddit
Femboy bottoms with plushy collections
crimsonpowder@reddit
It's a crime against chanmanity that this isn't a dating app filter.
6feet_fromtheedge@reddit
Wholeheartedly agree. Kinky girls (and guys, I guess, that's not really my target group) are so often so damaged - and somewhat neurodivergent.
AusCro@reddit
Where do you find them, for scientific purposes of course
Murky-Vegetable-9353@reddit
Hot
Illuminaughty99@reddit
I might have realized something about myself today
JerryUitDeBuurt@reddit
Ah shit same
ARealHikikomori@reddit
Yeah, just found out I’m socially inept.
NevGuy@reddit
Just found out I'm a bottom. Worst day of my life.
thr33beggars@reddit
Why is finding out you’re gonna have your cum button rocked on the daily a bad day?
keepingitrealgowrong@reddit
I can make it worse, wya?
lostmypornaccount@reddit
Did you find that by looking within?
DaveSmith890@reddit
Nah, I’m just an alt right journalist looking for another way to DESTROY liberal snowflakes
Techno-Diktator@reddit
Idk, I guess I didn't have some ideal childhood but it wasn't super bad either, and yet I'm one kinky submissive fucker. I actually remember having these kinks since I was a very very little child, I just didn't understand why those things made me feel that way. Was I just born fucked lol
novaprogramerka11@reddit
This is so fucking funny, he talks about beating women while being a submissive little pussy. I AM ACTUALLY SCREAMING THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVAAAAA
Techno-Diktator@reddit
Who stalks profiles over reddit arguments lmao, how much blubber do you have on your body?
novaprogramerka11@reddit
I’m just bored waiting for the bus, you clearly made me laugh… Thanks I guess, keep being sumbissive and kinky 🤣🤣🤣
Insanity-Paranoid@reddit
I thought this was common knowledge?
308_AR10_Enjoyer@reddit
It is no coincidence
connorgrs@reddit
More like a frontal la-bottom-y
voidwalker_has_PTSD@reddit
EMPATHY [Medium: Failure]
OldManMoment@reddit
Can you really call it failure if I don't even try...?
Conch-Republic@reddit
The two aren't mutually exclusive.
nchomsky96@reddit
Lobotommy
skeptic1101@reddit
Lobotomommy
HanselSoHotRightNow@reddit
Well I mean, "SURPRISE! BRAIN DAMAGE!" just didn't have the same ring to it I guess.
Anon_02826249@reddit
probably from all the bottoming
Onion_38@reddit
Ever since the day I was born
Skank-Pit@reddit
It’s like if J. F. Gariépy Was gay.
Notbbupdate@reddit
The bottom deserves better, and in case any top sees this and wants advice on how to be better than anon, here is what should be done in that scenario:
First you need to be nice to the plushies. Learn their names, introduce yourself to them, maybe even give them headpats (try it on the first one, and unless the bottom tells you not to, do it for all the others). Then once that's done, you lean in close to the bottom. You start hugging him while taking him to bed and start cuddling. Put one hand on his upper abdomen (the other on the back of his head) and start slowly moving it down into his pants (or skirt, of panties, whatever he has on). The bottom should give one of the following responses
1: the bottom asks you to stop because the plushies are watching. You should then suggest turning the plushies away or moving to a different room
2: the bottom says the plushies like to watch. You should help turn all the plushies to face you and make sure they get a good view
3: the bottom lets out a moan and doesn't mention the plushies. In that case, proceed without bringing up the plushies either
Once you do that, you start can start making out. Slide your hand into his underwear and play around with his dick a little bit (unless it's in chastity, in which case you should pull down his underwear and expose it). Them move your hand to his ass. Squeeze one of the cheeks (depending on which hand you're using), then move on to the hole. Tease the whole a little and maybe even finger it (if they're plugged, move it around a little bit). Then you stop making out and see what the bottom does. Here the bottom might react in a variety of ways to express his wants, and you should exercise your own judgement. The most common responses by the bottom are to eye your dick (suggesting they want to give head) or turning around (suggesting they want anal). Follow the bottom's lead for this part
Once the sexual act starts, make sure you're gentle at first. Gauge the bottom's reaction to determine if you should speed up, slow down, or keep it as is. Continue going until you cum. If you have a short refractory period, proceed to cuddle and make out for a few minutes before going at it again (again, see what specific act the bottom wants). If you can only cum once per session, proceed to finish the bottom off with a blowjob or handjob (unless they're in chastity, in which case you ignore this step)
Aftercare is the hardest part to give a guide on due to varying so much from one bottom to another. Some want cuddles. Some want to shower together. Some even want food. Whatever it is, follow the bottom's lead at first (assuming it's your first time with this bottom. Most bottoms prefer the same type of aftercare every time so you can repeat whatever worked last time). It's important to remember that while the bottom leads at first, it's on you to do the heavy lifting. The bottom wants to shower with you? Fine, but you'll need to take the lead (ask to wash his back before he asks you). Afterwards you can go home if you have to, but a number of bottoms prefer a sleepover. Again, see what the bottom wants and what circumstances allow
If you do this well, you'll probably be able to meet with the bottom again. Over time these rules become more lax as you and the bottom start to figure out what works best for both (especially in the aftercare portion). A lot of the "wait for the bottom to react" moments become unnecessary as you learn each other's preferences, and you can start exploring kinkier/more extreme scenarios
ThrowRAIdiotLover007@reddit
🔥✍️
OldManMoment@reddit
I read all that in the voice of a nature documentary narrator.
Towbee@reddit
David Attenborough ai voice model on this one
Morpherman@reddit
Get this man a podium and a microphone.
Silly_Marionberry_27@reddit
If you want to peg this bridge troll, you got to meet his plushies three… hundred.
Woofingson@reddit
Not me lmao, if anything we'd have some beer before sex and after play or watch something. I'm gay bit not THAT gay.
Feeling_Reason7012@reddit
Hold out anon. The reward for your determination will be some of the finest bussy you'll ever experience.
CapAwesomeSauce@reddit
Apparently people in this posts comments cant fathom the idea of someone liking cute plushies and collecting them
secondcondary@reddit
Anon is living the fucking life and has the gall to complain
SOMEMONG@reddit
Staring intensely, balls aching, cock leaking, filled with the restrained rage that only sexual frustration can give a man, forced to listen to the back stories of stuffed toys for the better part of an hour. I can see why he'd complain.
secondcondary@reddit
How can you not put your boner away when a cute guy is including you in his interests?
nuruwo@reddit
7arco7@reddit
Seriously, my man has literally everything, what could he possibly be bitching about?
OldManMoment@reddit
The surplus of plushie autism, probably.
StickyWhiteStuf@reddit
Anon is projecting because he was forced to take up the role of Top due to an unfortunate local shortage
JustABigBruhMoment@reddit
Anon’s malding because of a difference in stuffed animal naming conventions
twitwi61@reddit
Assert your dominance by plowing that bottom while those plushies watch.
Thagomizer24601@reddit
I think you mean plowing those plushies while that bottom watches.
Salaino0606@reddit
Bro wants to cuddle and feel loved
thekenbaum@reddit
Fuck their ass while the teddy bears watch.
creeper6530@reddit
Anon:
You:
Me:
WhY dOn'T yOu UsE tHe PrOpEr PrOnOuNs?
WolfieTooting@reddit
Can confirm. I was the plushy with the strap on attached
Lucky_Burger@reddit
this you?
MoonMan_999@reddit
EmperorShura@reddit
Why the fuck did you link that? What the fuck?
https://i.redd.it/6sewaz14cs9d1.gif
KatanaManEnjoyer@reddit
HUH
FistFullofFuze@reddit
500 dollars is insane
MrPokeGamer@reddit
Guh
NobleTheDoggo@reddit
White women
Gaby_48@reddit
what the fuck
I_am_Reptoid_King@reddit
lol
Old_Ad_71@reddit
I must be actually brain damaged to click this at work
hefledthescene@reddit
Your autist bottom wants you to seduce him like a bad H manga. Ara Ara bottom san did you think this is what I was coming over for
OldManMoment@reddit
How dare you make me read that with my own balls?
Choberon@reddit
You shouldn't confuse bottoms with littles ~
DeltaSolana@reddit
Can be both.
You don't deserve these downvotes.
Choberon@reddit
Oh damn, why was I downvoted so hard xD.
But yeah, they aren't mutually exclusive by any means.
Gaby_48@reddit
tf is a little
NobleTheDoggo@reddit
...child roleplay from what I remember.
Gaby_48@reddit
oh well thats one questionable hobby
pyro-zed@reddit
This. It's a little weird.
EmperorShura@reddit
https://i.redd.it/62gwbx4acs9d1.gif
Provia100F@reddit
Eww
Skank-Pit@reddit
Your tilde concerns me.
gary-cuckoldman@reddit
I would laugh in their face, do a 360 and leave
cubicthreads@reddit
You would turn in a complete circle then leave? Why ?
twinkie2001@reddit
my plushies read this and are very upset
TeamBoeing@reddit
Lol you mean 180
Artraira@reddit
What, you're not capable of spinning in place then walking backwards?
Crows-quill@reddit
He he (moonwalks)
Pixel_64@reddit
A plushie slumber party!? Dude that’s fucking awesome what the hell is anon complaining about
Western-Age9961@reddit
I would pay for a plushie slumber party. Not only is Anon False and Homosexual, he is also regarded
LordJanas@reddit
Wow another very real story. Thank you for sharing.
Luzon0903@reddit
Is the top
complains that the bottom doesn't try to sex him first(something he should do)
Anon is real, gay, and an idiot
CompSolstice@reddit
Depends on the dynamic, tops don't have to initiate all the time.
crimsonpowder@reddit
Bottom was hoping anon would make the stuffies watch him turned into a dirty manho
gatsuthorfinnmusashi@reddit
While they both are enjoying the plushy slumber tea party Mr Long Face whom the bottom anon had held chained up has escaped and they both have no idea about it
Immediate_Towel3579@reddit
Someone post the cat quick
YourAverageGod@reddit
gatsuthorfinnmusashi@reddit
Since the past few months this short hair autistic tomboy goth girl was showing too much interest in me. We would hang out together and had a lot in common. She was into stuff like horror /niche movies, hello kitty, obscure animes and mangas, and video games like DMC, RE4. She even confessed that she had feelings for me and I reciprocated.
We were making out one day and it all seem too good to be true because it was. I suddenly decided to punch her hard in the chest and I was right.... my hand went past her chest which turned out to be of metal plating and my hand landed into a bunch of wires and she started beeping.....
Damn those blue helmets they have become too advanced.
YourAverageGod@reddit
Damn synths
boeing_737-Max-9@reddit
Better keep that synth friend of yours on a tight leash
make_reddit_great@reddit
The metal and wires were fake. She was testing you to see if you'd stand by her no matter what. You failed that test, buddy.
Individual-Stick6066@reddit
Right in the frigging Mcnuts
saltire429@reddit
SpottedWobbegong@reddit
This fucking image annoys me so much, the -th ending is for third person singular that is now just -s. Both waketh and attacketh make no sense.
saltire429@reddit
Human-Boob@reddit
No one knows how to speak medieval. It’s over Peasantbros
RegalBeagleKegels@reddit
Hark! A fuck less given
CommunistLlamma@reddit
Here's a new one for you fellas
xGlacion@reddit
weak shit tbh
Murky-Vegetable-9353@reddit
What was it
xGlacion@reddit
idk too drunk to remember
gatsuthorfinnmusashi@reddit
Since the past few months this short hair autistic tomboy goth girl was showing too much interest in me. We would hang out together and had a lot in common. She was into stuff like horror /niche movies, hello kitty, obscure animes and mangas, and video games like DMC, RE4. She even confessed that she had feelings for me and I reciprocated.
We were making out one day and it all seem too good to be true because it was. I suddenly decided to punch her hard in the chest and I was right.... my hand went past her chest which turned out to be of metal plating and my hand landed into a bunch of wires and she started beeping.....
Damn those blue helmets they have become too advanced.
WintersbaneGDX@reddit
gatsuthorfinnmusashi@reddit
Since the past few months this short hair autistic tomboy goth girl was showing too much interest in me. We would hang out together and had a lot in common. She was into stuff like horror /niche movies, hello kitty, obscure animes and mangas, and video games like DMC, RE4. She even confessed that she had feelings for me and I reciprocated.
We were making out one day and it all seem too good to be true because it was. I suddenly decided to punch her hard in the chest and I was right.... my hand went past her chest which turned out to be of metal plating and my hand landed into a bunch of wires and she started beeping.....
Damn those blue helmets they have become too advanced.
ciuccio2000@reddit
There it is
esivo@reddit
Thank you for posting the cat.
FemboyZoriox@reddit
Anon hit the jackpot and complains. This is why 4channers dont deserve partners
Relevant_Lie2605@reddit
Every single relationship greentext is like this. Ungrateful bastards.
GhostV940@reddit
Real: Gay Fake: Gay
TheOnlyGuyInSpace21@reddit
because plushies are cute and cuddly. I own far too many and I'm still trying to get a big blahaj
Totally_Cubular@reddit
Why are you hanging out with bottoms if you're not here for this kinda stuff?
WiseDoctor4065@reddit
Top him in front of his little audience, ask him if he likes them watching, leave afterwards
Lonely_Eggplant_4990@reddit
MayorMcCheezz@reddit
The bottom is trying to put anon to sleep so anon becomes the bottom.
Eantropix@reddit
Make a circle in bed with his favorite plushies and perform the deed while staring at them in the eyes.
fkenthrowaway@reddit
He wants OOP to take control and ravage him but OOP is too big of a homo
Bruhman1212@reddit
Livin the dream
Motor_Ad9054@reddit
God forbid a bottom wants something more than just sex 😭
djatsoris26@reddit
Not a bottom, just autistic.
Nervous-Law-6606@reddit
The sole guest at a twink slumber party and this man is complaining
UncommonLegend@reddit
Gay problems? Then again I've been there with an autistic girl so maybe it's more that than anything.
impossible_name_@reddit
Its just what we do 😔
Iamkillboy@reddit
Fake and gay. NEXT
Royal-Measurement-82@reddit
Real and gay.
Affectionate_Low8190@reddit
Real and straight
LiterallyACupcake@reddit
Indeterminate and asexual
bursa_li@reddit
can't decide and bisexual
falkodalko@reddit
Good on anon for having the basic human restraint to not chimp out or worse
Anyway, anon should stop fucking complaining and cuddle his bottom
Worst-Panda@reddit
Accomplished_Mud_117@reddit
Where do I find these bottoms?
HUGE_FUCKING_ROBOT@reddit
speculation: bottom was molested, uses the infantile persona to mentally get back to the headspace of when it occurred to relive it. if women can have daddy issues, so can men.
Mikkel_Faspik@reddit
"I see this as an absolute win" - That one big green bastard
yoloswaggins92@reddit
Anon is beasting a wean.
keepingitrealgowrong@reddit
Big Jock Knew
Juggernuts777@reddit
Seems like a simple solution. Go rip one out in the bathroom, and get back to the slumber party. Anon might make a friend.
Jade_Sugoi@reddit
that sounds kinda nice actually
LordVaderVader@reddit
who tf is bottom
No_Print77@reddit
Fake and gay
BinaryTriggered@reddit
bottoms are overwhelmingly gay, film at 11
Provia100F@reddit
That's a bad top. Tops, don't be like that. Respect and cherish your bottoms, and the effort they go through to be with you.
Don't be an insufferable empty husk.
DatSpicyBoi17@reddit
This kinda shit is only cute when women do it and even then it loses its charm once they hit 30.
FalconVerde_V@reddit
If you are not good with the plushy you dont get the bussy. >:C
Corndesu69@reddit
plushie mfs are so weird fr
twinkie2001@reddit
my plushies would never say anything so mean to me
Buluc__Chabtan@reddit
So is this sub all about going to 4chan and searching for the gayest thing posible?
kartblaster@reddit
fuck it, we ball
Anxious-Orange4066@reddit
If your like this hmu immediately
Spicy1046@reddit
This is just normal bottom behavior, my gf wouldn't let me have sex with her until I learned all the plushies names.
Xavilius@reddit
kinda sweet tbh
I_Hate_The_Letter_W@reddit
this is the life anon is missing out
dragoslayer1327@reddit
Fuck. I think I'm a bottom too
EatOutMyGrandma@reddit
A "plushie slumber party" is actually gayer than the gay sex he was hoping to have
DeepRow1850@reddit
I mean that's cool tho ig I'd go to a slumber party
Zalar01@reddit
creeper6530@reddit
Anon is dumb. If you want to be the top, act like it and take initiative.
light_on_a_pole@reddit
Gay
Consistent_Ant_8903@reddit
I wonder if anon’s boyfriend will turn them all around when they bang or if they like to watch
NOSjoker21@reddit
Anon got TOPPED by the Bottom's desire for company and introduce his frens, total reversal.
Dolan-not-a-trump@reddit
He's the bottom but OP the one getting fucked