Swearing in front of your kids, do you do it? If yes, at what age ?

Posted by madepi@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 343 comments

Other days, I saw a family with 2 daughters (aged around 6,7 ) and a small baby ... two sisters were playing/ messing around. When when sister pushed another to the ground. Understandably, poor girl cried. The father got furious and said loudly ' stop Fucking around ' ... mother wasn't bothered enough... then father looked at another daughter said something like " told you it would hurt, now just don't look at me" while she was limping with pain. It was sad, but it is normal? As father myself... First thing I would be concerned about her injuries and try to calm the crying one. Or I am oversensitive.

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CosmicQuestions@reddit

Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea to swear around young children. My ex used to swear around her 7 & 8 year olds and made me feel pretty uncomfortable. Maybe I’m just old fashioned though. I just think if people do this they will grow up with potty mouths at an early age, though I appreciate the fact it just a given at schools now anyway. Interesting question.

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BlinkysaurusRex@reddit

It’s probably best to equip them with the words and explain the meaning before around middle school but definitely before high school to control the narrative. They will learn them with or without you, and using the words in exceptionally bad ways comes from not understanding the weight of them. I know first hand. When I first heard the word cunt it was used haphazardly by a kid to describe another kid using white-out to try and make their shoes look whiter because they had mud on them. When I attempted to use the word, thinking it wasn’t too naughty, the results were disastrous. I’d rather my dad gave me the little ones and said “these are mostly okay. But *this* one never, only among your friends if at all.”

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_DeanRiding@reddit

I'm not a parent, but I think we've been a bit prudish in the past when it comes to swearing personally. If and when I have kids, I think my main concern will largely be to not swear *at* them and to make sure they're not doing it at school where they'd end up getting in trouble for it.

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LassoTheMoon1724@reddit

Agree. I swear in front of my kids a lot but I never swear at them and I make sure they know that’s not acceptable. We say swear words are ‘house words’ so they can be said at home (as long as they’re not directed at someone) but not at school. My 5 year old seems to understand and he’s never sworn at me but does say ‘fucking hell’ from time to time. Or the other day when he hurt himself and said ‘ow my fucking balls’ 🤣

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LickClitsSuckNips@reddit

I only ever swear in foreign languages in front of my kids. Or sometimes I just say "teet" instead of swearing. Like, what the teet is that supposed to be? Kinda like bleeping myself. I gotta be seriously pissed off to actually swear in English. It's happened but rarely.......I think.

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keg994@reddit

My brother swears horribly in front of his kids, he will call his sons pussies if they cry, he'll be telling a story and say cunt every other word. His oldest (in secondary school) has now started swearing and now my brother goes mental at him for it.. wonder where he's got it from??

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Latter_Mastodon_1553@reddit

Well for me it was my parents telling me nice to stop twice and the third time I’d get told to fucking wise up. That’s when you knew to stop 😆 that was the 90’s. nowadays though when I have my own I’ll be trying to say any more than shit.

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CasualHippieChick@reddit

It's not the swearing its the bad parenting. "Stop fucking around" is a normal human thing to say. Dismissing your kids and acting like that is the issue.

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shaun056@reddit

I'm not a parent, but I do have two young neices. Trying not to swear until the youngest is at least 11. My logic is, they're gonna hear stuff in secondary school. If I were a parent, I wouldn't want them to think swearing is something they should hide from their parents; it should be something thats in the open... to an extent.

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Loud-Vacation-711@reddit

Ya we got called a shower of little cunts by my grandfather and all sorts of swearing since we were babies. It's just not a big deal in ireland.

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tiddyb0obz@reddit

We swear around her but not to her, and not to each other in an angry way. She's 2.5 and she knows we only say certain words in the house and she gets in deep doo doo if she says them at nursery or grannies which has never happened

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watsee@reddit

My parents swore throughout my childhood, however I was aware that they were words I must not repeat. At least, not in front of their fucking faces.

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lozfozhc@reddit

My 4 year old tells me off when I sware. I'm not sure if that means I'm doi ga good or terrible job.

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Aq8knyus@reddit

I never swore at home, but did so happily at school. I think it is a good idea to ban swearing at home because a) it forces them to be more inventive with their insults and b) teaches them that different environments have different language etiquette. My nieces and nephews grow up in the same system. But it is hard and not always easy to enforce. The odd slip in the heat of the moment is fine, but continual swearing at each other is trashy and yobbish.

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Mawdster@reddit

I was 63 she was 34

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twintailes@reddit

The cursing and the potential mistreatment are two entirely separate issues here. I, for one, am all for cursing in front of children. They should learn these words aren't special, when it is appropriate to use them, and when they are not. Otherwise, you tell them its forbidden, and suddenly, they're obsessed with screaming it to anyone who will listen. Kids who are exposed to cursing in a neutral way from an early age tend to skip that annoying phase of thinking it makes them super cool to say fuck every other word. Obviously not speaking about cursing used as verbal abuse, etc. But it's all just words. Why give them so much power. Just educate from the beginning and avoid the hassle.

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Peg_leg_J@reddit

Swearing is fine. The whole concept of swearwords is a bit ridiculous to me- but being harsh and dysfunctional like that though is going to cause those kids some emotional problems

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madepi@reddit (OP)

It's common for young parents to snap. But lack of empathy for daughter who was limping with pain was a little sad/ disheartening.

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Picticious@reddit

I work in a school playground, let me tell you that some kids are dramatic as fuck, I’ve seen kids limp like their leg is broken and then skipped off to get themselves a wet paper towel. You’ll know when you have your own.

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murtigupta007@reddit

I think it was sad that he didn't become concerned when the other daughter was limping with pain. Maybe he was trying to teach them a lesson, but maybe he took it too far. Yelling in front of the small children might have scared and confused them. Every parent handles emotions and discipline differently, so there may have been more behind the scene than other people noticed.

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IntraVnusDemilo@reddit

Yeah, that's not good. I want to pick up other people's crying kids if they've hurt themselves, never mind my own!

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angry2alpaca@reddit

This.

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Boredpanda31@reddit

This is what I say. Who decided those particular words were bad words and why? Because someone wanted to control what others said. As long as kids know not to swear *at* people or at school etc, it doesn't bother me.

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yeahyeahitsmeshhh@reddit

Swearing in front of kids isn't fine. They are learning how to conduct themselves and if you teach them to swear to express frustration they will be shunned. Not by other kids but the parents who are gatekeepers for those kids. If you don't want your kid to be the brat nobody will have round their house you have to teach them manners first and then allow them to relax those manners. That's the real skill, knowing when to swear.

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Peg_leg_J@reddit

The only thing it teaches is for them to surpress themselves in front of the adults that keep up this silly charade. Kids swear all the time. They hide it because adults get upset and tell them they need to not swear because it makes other adults upset. Who in turn are only upset because they think other adults would be upset

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yeahyeahitsmeshhh@reddit

How old? You don't think toddlers are swearing all the time?

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orlandofredhart@reddit

I would rather teach them what is and isn't appropriate. With the caveat you can't say it at school or in front of your mum or your nan, but you can say whatever you want in front of me. My 6 year old boy likes to 'help' me with DIY so he's definitely heard some colourful language.

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MrsD12345@reddit

This! My 7 year old asked me this week if he could use “fuck” at home. He knows it’s not to be used anywhere else, and not to be aimed at a person in the house, but if he’s stubbed his toe or is frustrated with a game etc….he can shout it all he likes.

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Peg_leg_J@reddit

I guarantee they will hear far, far worse at school than will ever come out of your lips. The idea of a solitary word being cause of emotional hurt is one of the weirder social constructs we've come up with. Definitely Chritianity's fault.

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ButterflyQuick@reddit

The concept of swearing/profanity predates Christianity by a considerable margin

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mibbling@reddit

My mum told me not to swear when I was a kid - but explained that it wasn’t anything to do with them being ‘bad’ words, just really really powerful words, so if I used them all the time, I’d have nowhere to escalate to when something really serious happened. I grant you, I no longer hold to that, and reach for ‘ah FUCK’ for everything from getting a USB the wrong way round to actual real major life problems. But nevertheless, that was a pretty useful way of framing it for kid-me.

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Peg_leg_J@reddit

Well that's definitely a better way of describing it but we can escalate from a swearword. The way we say things is more important in my opinion. Oh fuck! Could be used to convey every emotion from joy to fear to anger

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mibbling@reddit

I mean yeah, I agree, but I found it a fairly useful explanation *for a kid* of why not to swear your head off at every opportunity.

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palishkoto@reddit

It's hardly just a Christian thing. My Asian home language has plenty of swear words and it wasn't influenced in that regard by Christianity or a European language.

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orlandofredhart@reddit

Oh yeah, don't I know it. I'm not oblivious to the realities that children are exposed to. That's why I answer their questions about literally anything.

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Lopsycle@reddit

That's the avenue we went. I've always sworn like a sailor, but after a hilarious but embarrassing public f-bomb from my toddler, I kind of got that you have to help them learn when it's appropriate and why, and until they can know that they will mimic you if you don't reign it in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with swearing, but it's not fair if the kid gets in trouble at school for it because the parent hasn't prepared them.

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3arlbos@reddit

Not being able to express yourself adequately, so regressing to frustrated or angry expletives. Most, if not all, swear words are meant to insult or shock. Using them in front of kids or people you respect isn't fine, imho

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Ikhlas37@reddit

When you realise a lot of swear/rude words were just normal Anglosaxon (or similar) words and it's all down to norman (or similar) snobbery/racism then swear words become a bit silly.

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3arlbos@reddit

That smacks of a made-up fact.

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Ikhlas37@reddit

All Anglo-Saxon: arse, bollock, fart, shit and turd Not swearing but similar: https://www.dictionary.com/e/animal-names-change-become-food/ "the distinction between terms for live animals and dead-animal meat was influenced by class differences between Anglo-Saxon servants and Norman elites" It wasn't always because of this and English is made up of alot of languages but it's hardly made up

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Cheese-n-Opinion@reddit

On the other hand, piss, bastard and cock are from French though. I'm not sure it's because of looking down on Anglo-Saxon words exactly. The vast majority of everyday words we use are Anglo-Saxon, only a tiny few are seen as rude. It's more like there was a bias towards Norman French, Latin and Greek loans being higher register, formal and technical words. This makes them less likely to become swearwords, so the Anglo-Saxon dominates the swearwords by default.

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3arlbos@reddit

Sounds like you've conflated two separate themes there. That certain British swear words have an old English origin is not surprising at all. To say they were commonplace, and it was snobbery from the Normans that led to them being frowned upon, you've not provided anything to support that claim.

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vakariansmommy@reddit

Are bollock, fart and turd really swearing though?

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goingnowherespecial@reddit

Meaning and context changes over time though. So while an interesting tidbit, it's not really relevant to how we use those words today.

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Peg_leg_J@reddit

Swear words haven't been shocking to anyone that mingles with the general public since the 50s....

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yeahyeahitsmeshhh@reddit

Like kids? Kids weren't shocked? Also weird how Johnny Rotten swearing on TV in the 70s was such a big deal if nobody was shocked. Society has always made a distinction between family friendly language, professional conduct, polite society conduct and taboo breaking.

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starsandbribes@reddit

Swearing or not, it teaches discipline to watch what we say and navigate different social groups which is a good lesson for kids. Its not about the swear words, its about it being a handy tool for development. Last thing you want is someone with no filter. This teaches them you can’t just get away with doing what you want and you need to work within societies rules.

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oldmanbarbaroza@reddit

I sware but I tell my girls they can hear it but can't use it.. they usually tell me off for swearing lol

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

It’s easy to judge and clutch your pearls when you’ve had a 10 second glimpse in to someone else’s life. Is swearing at a child good behaviour? No. But we have absolutely no idea what’s going on for them. Parents are human too. They lose their temper and react out of anger. Every single parent I know has absolutely lost their shit at their child at some point. Childless people also really need to wind their necks in when it comes to giving parenting advice.

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verykindzebra@reddit

Omg I am so happy to read this thread. I swear in front of my child (a lot, honestly) and I occasionally shout from frustration. I've been worrying I need anger management 😭

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CheeseBoards@reddit

Oh god, don’t feel bad about it - kids are pricks! As long as you’re not beating them, you’re doing well. Literally tonight I am writing this led in bed with my youngest having recently told her, and her older sister, to go to fucking sleep! Bit of swearing isn’t going to do them any harm. Some advice tho, if you ever do feel you’re about to loose it, go to another room / go out for 5mins. It helps to get out of the situation when they’re properly being hard work. Pricks, the lot of em! :-)

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verykindzebra@reddit

Thank you! I swear a lot in general conversation and not at people, so my son isn't shocked to hear it! But, as I said, I don't swear at him. When I get overwhelmed I do leave the room (and sometimes have little scream). I'll try just to walk away next time!

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

Literally every single parent I know has done this. Do not beat yourself up. Obviously don’t make a habit of it but everybody has moments when they’re overstimulated, drained and your kid is incessantly pushing your buttons

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Old_Distance8430@reddit

Sounds like she absolutely is making a habit of it and now feels justified

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

Ok 👍 heaven forbid we have empathy for parents that are struggling instead of demonising them. I’m sure making people feel like failures and abnormal for struggling is super helpful

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Redcoat-Mic@reddit

You told someone who said they swear and shout a lot at their kids doesn't need help and is fine and doesn't need to seek help, without knowing anything about them... Yes not every bad interaction of bad parenting is indicative of bad parents as a whole, but you've gone the other way and are acting like every act of bad parenting is just struggling parents. Some parents are just fucking cunts to their children who unfortunately will have a shit life and grow up to be cunts themselves.

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CrimpsShootsandRuns@reddit

They said they occasionally shout. That's not "a lot".

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

Maybe they do need help. In fact I bet they’d love some help, a break, and to learn some better coping skills. What they don’t need is someone to make them feel more ashamed than they already do.

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pullingteeths@reddit

Do you have as much empathy for people who aggressively shout and swear at other adults (their partner, friends, an elderly parent etc) as you do for people who aggressively shout and swear at their children?

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healthandsafetydance@reddit

Having been around small children more in the past couple years, I've come to learn they're tiny drunken sociopaths with zero empathy who can't be negotiated with, so tbqh I have more sympathy for the people swearing at children.

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pullingteeths@reddit

Well yeah they're children. As adults we know they're different to us so we don't judge them by the same standards as adults and get aggressively angry at them for things that would be very out of line for an adult to do but are more understandable/expected from children who are learning. Totally understand feeling frustrated with them, I've been there, but aggressively shouting and swearing at someone because you're frustrated is bad and potentially abusive behaviour. Nobody here would say it's understandable for the carer of a vulnerable adult to aggressively shout and swear at them. As someone who has cared for children when they're being annoying and frustrating I understand feeling angry and raising your voice. But shouting swear words at them is over the line imo. If it's a slip up and you apologise and work on not doing it again etc it's understandable but if you think it's an ok and justified thing to do that's not right, that's an anger issue you should be working on. From one incident we don't know which it is though.

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

🙄😂.

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TheDark-Sceptre@reddit

Agreed with this. I remember my mum snapping once and calling me a fucking bitch, not to my face but under her breath but I could hear it as I walked away. I was probably 9 and being a right fucking bitch, I know that for certain. Looking back I sympathise with her, I'd have said much worse to me for acting how I was. Being a parent is relentless and we're all human.

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Tezooty@reddit

I swear when I have lost control of my emotions which of course happens to all parents. What I abhor is the routine use of bad language in front of children.

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HideousTits@reddit

I think swearing in a considered and purposeful way is much less concerning than doing it in anger and when losing control. I personally make an effort to not swear in anger, despite using swear words liberally in general. Swear words aren’t “bad” words. They are expressive, powerful words, which can be used in a variety of ways to evoke a variety of reactions. Reserving them purely for insults and outbursts belies a lack of imagination and creativity.

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verykindzebra@reddit

I guess I'm the opposite. I think using the f word liberally (as I do) takes its power away. My son knows not to use it himself as it's an "adult" word.

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

And that’s fair.

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jstwntedtoask@reddit

I often get that idea reading Reddit but I've come to the conclusion that no one is morally superior like a redditor in a hypothetical situation. "Oh, you got angry with a kid who threw dog shit at your door? You ought to have realised he was going through a tough time and talked to him to make sure he understood why what he did was wrong. It takes a whole village to raise a child, y'know? YTA, OP!"

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seshwan33@reddit

I get what you’re saying but I want to add cause it’s important. Trauma is only caused by the meaning made by the child or recipient. I lose my shot at my kids all the time but I make absolutely certain that when I’ve calmed down they know that it is not their fault and it was Unaccepted to treat them like that but it was ok for me to feel angry and that is normal. It’s not our job to be perfect parents but it is so important that kids do not feel responsible for our emotion dysregulation . Take this example maybe the parents are tired cause of the baby etc. Do the older kids know that? That the key. If my kid knows I’m shattered and having a bad day and that why I’ve lost my shit then he doesn’t go away thinking there’s something wrong with him and always getting bollocked. Even though they made the cup overflow in that instance it should not be put on them to have to deal with our emotions. As for swearing specifically who cares. It’s jsut words. But yea I’d kids aren’t given adequate explanations for things they draw their own conclusion and internalise the situation things like ‘I can’t do anything right’ ‘I’m not good enough’ etc. This is how they become traumatised it’s not from the being shouted at it’s from not getting a ‘look I’m sorry, I’m really tired and you haven’t listen to me ask you to stop being noisy 10 times. I shouldn’t have shouted at you but I was cross and it’s ok to be cross but it’s not ok to shout at you like that. It’s not wrong to be noisy but you do need to do a better job of listening next time’ If you do that bit, no one is getting traumatised. It’s not about being perfect or not. It’s jsut explaining their world to them.

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1208cw@reddit

Yes. This. I have absolutely lost my shit with my kid but I have always apologised afterwards and told him I was wrong for reacting like that.

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Crafty-Ambassador779@reddit

Omg kids are relentles, I cant believe it. My baby has an upset stomach and its been nearly 48 HOURS OF CONSTANT WHINGING. Whinging!!!!!!!! Holy fucking hell. Fuck. Then you get childless people implying the parent dont know what theyre doing. You try communicating with a baby.

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Eliteclarity@reddit

>up, down, up, down , up, down. Someone give me a damn cheat code. Oooh, so close. It's actually Up, Up, Down Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.

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Crafty-Ambassador779@reddit

Liar! The crying continues.

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

You have my sympathy 😔 dealing with a cranky baby that won’t settle and is clearly suffering is a new type of hell. You feel so useless because you can’t do anything but ride it out and try to keep them comfortable and it just drags on. This too shall pass 😊

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Crafty-Ambassador779@reddit

Its passing like constipation. Long, hard and difficult!

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IncompetenceOfMan@reddit

>Is swearing at a child good behaviour? No. is SHOUTING at them you mean?

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

Did you miss the bit where they had a small baby with them? They’re probably hugely sleep deprived and drained. Dealing with a pair of kids fighting and shoving each other when you’re trying to juggle them and a small baby on 2 hours sleep would undoubtedly be frustrating

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pullingteeths@reddit

If someone is caring for an elderly or disabled relative do you think it's equally reasonable for them to shout and swear at them when they feel frustrated?

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HideousTits@reddit

Nobody is saying reasonable. Understandable is different. Have you ever cared for anyone 24/7?

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

Do you think people have limitless patience? That just because they’re caring for someone means they can’t be human and never experience intense moments of overwhelm and frustration? That somehow raising your voice or swearing is some kind of mortal sin? Have you never lost your shit?

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pullingteeths@reddit

No but I don't get why it's so much more accepted when it's a child. No one's perfect and we can all have moments of anger and raise our voices but angrily shouting swear words at a small child is a pretty bad thing to do if it's not extremely rare. Hopefully in this case it was.

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

It’s not accepted! That’s why I’ve had to make this comment, to say well hey it’s really not ideal if you swear at your kid when you’re frustrated but equally it’s not giving them life altering trauma either and you’re not the worlds worst parent despite what some militant preachy “gentle parenting” people might try and tell you

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IncompetenceOfMan@reddit

you misunderstand im not saying what they did is necessarily bad, im saying the act of shouting is the issue NOT the use of some naughty words *clutches pearls*

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throwMeAwayTa@reddit

>Childless people also really need to wind their necks in when it comes to giving parenting advice. People who have had kids really need to wind their neck in with the whole 'having kids is hard'. We know. That's one of the reasons we don't; it's a massive responsibility that should be done well. Generally it's pretty clear when it's an isolated incident and a common occurance.

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

No people with kids do not need to wind their necks in about how difficult raising children is because that’s how they connect with other struggling parents and form support networks. I couldn’t give less of shit about your childless opinion on how to parent. It’s totally irrelevant. You’ve never raised a child 😂🤣 what experience do you have to draw from? None. You’ve got ideas. We can all be perfect parents to imaginary kids

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StirlingSharpy@reddit

Well said, there can be many nosey silly cunts these days. My dad took my daughter to mcdonalds and shouted at her because she kept kicking a window. So some silly old and senile obviously never had kids busy body reported him to the police. Even the police laughed when they went round his to check and admitted theres a lot of nosey clueless twats these days but they have to follow up on reports.

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Elegant_Zombie_3464@reddit

It’s always the perfect childless parents who’s hypothetical children are perfect little angels 😂

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The_Bravinator@reddit

Yeah, this was definitely not ideal behaviour from the dad and not something I'd want to do, but it really depends whether he talks to them like this all the time or whether it's been a hard day and that came after the tenth time he warned them not to do that or they'd get hurt and in a couple of minutes he's going to take a deep breath and apologise. There's a big difference between someone who just thinks this is a fine way to treat kids and someone who doesn't normally act like that but is struggling in this particular situation.

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biffo120@reddit

This is so true, i have had meltdowns, i have shouted and swore on occasions. I have not been perfect but put my kids before myself all along. People have seen glimpses of the behaviour in initial post off me also. My youngest was a little shit to my oldest when younger (13 months difference), my eldest had so much patience but people only saw the retaliation, the cry and me saying that is what you get in life if you keep being mean. They are 17 and 18 now, we laugh at this looking back, 17 year old knew he was a little shit and was manipulating us (his words), sometimes he went to far and was learning where his limits were. I am sending 2 hard working boys into the world, they have great grades and jobs which they put in effort and time into..uni is next. All this is no thanks to the high and mighty brigade, i have watched these people unravel as their kids hit puberty, i have stood quietly but very proud of how our boys stand up in comparison. There is no magic trick to parenting yet everyone believes they know best.

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AgeingChopper@reddit

Hell yes, happily referred to the current regime with a c bomb when talking to my son about their actions last night. He's 24.

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Freerollingforlife@reddit

In that interaction you’ve described the least damaging part is the swearing……

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madepi@reddit (OP)

Lack of empathy for crying children from parents was heartbreaking.

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RyH1986@reddit

I mean its not always a lack of empathy. My son falls over even from a young age its always been helping him up, brushing him off "You good? we need to chop anything off? Ok lets roll" Its not that I don't care I just don't want him being a child who falls over and is then scared to do something

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wildgoldchai@reddit

When I would hurt myself on something as a child, my mum would hit the thing that caused me pain. E.g. if I banged my arm on the door frame, she’s lightly slap the door frame. It was in good faith of course but she failed to realised I adopted the same reaction when I started school. She only had herself to blame when I slapped another child in retaliation, lol

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RyH1986@reddit

That gave me a chuckle

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wildgoldchai@reddit

Ah glad to have made you chuckle then :)

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NessunoComeNoi@reddit

You cannot put that on your Mum at all hahaha WHAT

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Ill_Citron_8473@reddit

You kind of can. Young kids learn by copying. If you show them that the reaction to something hurting them is to hit it, that's what they'll do.

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Void-Flower-2022@reddit

Literally! It's called Social Learning. Integral part of life. Kids are like sponges and absorb everything, and I think it's awesome.

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wildgoldchai@reddit

I mean I was just parroting what she was doing. Though she stopped quite sharpish once I got into trouble at nursery. I believe I was around 3 at the time.

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Ill_Citron_8473@reddit

My dad does this occasionally with my son when he falls over a toy/table etc. "Naughty toy!" SLAP. Slightly concerned that he's going to learn to do it and end up slapping the dog.

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TheWelshMrsM@reddit

Yes but you’re showing concern at least. And I’m all for ‘fuck around and find out’ to some extent when kids are being silly but I’d still not deny them a bit of comfort. The dad saying ‘Don’t look at me’ is so harsh.

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RyH1986@reddit

I mean its no different from siblings fighting and a parent saying "it will end in tears" Out of context it seems harsh but if he's warned the child that fuck about and find out and they fucked about now they found out.

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TheWelshMrsM@reddit

I’m not disagreeing that kids can be a right pain in the arse. But ‘don’t look at me’ is so dismissive for a 6yo in any context. They’re kids, the natural consequence is getting hurt, the parents don’t need to add to that with being harsh. Check they’re physically ok first at the very least.

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Kirstemis@reddit

Or the two girls have been provoking each other and pushing each other all day, he's warned them umpteen times they might get hurt, and they've carried on. I remember when my brother was a toddler he kept trying to tickle the cat's feet. He was told four or five times in as many minutes to stop because the cat didn't like it and would scratch him. He kept on, the cat scratched him, and although the scratches were cleaned, there was no sympathy because he was old to understand no.

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Simba-xiv@reddit

It’s harsh out of context imagine this dad has told this kid 40 times a day everyday. He very well could just be in the im not telling you anymore you know better vibe. Not making excuses but considering we are getting second hand information from someone that witnessed a fraction of interaction. I’d take it with a grain of salt

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Hookton@reddit

Oh man you've just reminded me of the time I was about 12 and tried to use this on my little nephew. Ended up with him in hysterics and me going to find an adult to reassure him that no, there was no chance we'd need to chop his arm off. Funnily enough, I haven't been asked to babysit since.

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RyH1986@reddit

The trick is to produce a knife!

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NoTrain1456@reddit

This made me smile cos when my kids were younger, I'd say, "Where does it hurt, ok ill get the knife and cut it off"

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Mammyjam@reddit

Innit, my two year old falls over, if she’s not hurt she jumps up and says “dust em off” if she is hurt she cries and I comfort her

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SatinwithLatin@reddit

But you've attended to him, which is kind of the point. One of my early memories is falling over as a small kid and my Dad just walking past muttering "You shouldn't have been running then." I picked myself up and stopped sniffling because, well, he clearly didn't seem to care. That memory sticks with me for a reason, not a good one.

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Florae128@reddit

Nothing wrong with brushing them off and getting going. If they're visibly upset and want a cuddle, then denying that is a bit mean.

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villiers19@reddit

It’s not always like that - “lack of empathy”. Overreacting parents have produced one of the softest generation and also adults The kid got hurt a bit while playing with their sibling. That’s all. There’ll be time when they are really hurt, then you’ve got to really take care of them mentally, emotionally and physically. I think you are being a bit too petty on this mate.

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tillyme92@reddit

I’ve seen kids fall over, look around, and only start crying once they see an adult rushing to them in concern

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Ok_Application5789@reddit

This. If you make a big fuss they will cry. If we act like it's nothing major tbeh get up and carry on.

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SplurgyA@reddit

I once gaslight my nephew when he was crying by acting super excited about a friendly dog nearby and he forgot he was upset lmao

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Kirstemis@reddit

That's distraction, not gaslighting.

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soultinkerer@reddit

All the time. If my kid gets a bump he looks at me, I’ll look back. He knows it’s alright and he dusts himself off. Or I’ll give a quick ‘you ok?’ And it’s usually fine. If he cries I know he’s really hurt or shocked and I’m running to him. When there have been cries he knows I’ve got him like a little baby with all the shhhhh’s mummy’s got yous that he needs. He’s nine. Lol. On the occasions we have them it feels like such a gift to be able to mother him in such a way that makes everything feel ok. Unless I’m on my phone and I miss it of course. Then he’s on his own.

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Picticious@reddit

This exactly. If my son fell the most he was getting was “what you doing on the floor?! Up you get”. As a result he didn’t come to me for every tiny little bump and scrape and isn’t a big wimp.

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ThermiteMillie@reddit

You don't know how much of an absolute bellend that kid had been previously that day tbf. Sometimes a parent yells and a kid cries. They still get a hug and a kiss goodnight. It's very easy to get frustrated - the kids and the adults.

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cleb9200@reddit

Children crying is often attention driven. I won’t be giving the described dad any awards for parenting obviously, but it isn’t always lack of empathy. To give this cretin the benefit of the doubt for all you know the kid pulls this one several times a day. Siblings fight, they cry. Guide them, police them, help them understand the boundaries. But I don’t think it healthy to assume imbedded trauma every time a kid cries

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deccyfish@reddit

At that age kids bounce. They got up again themselves, they're fine. I guess you could call it tough love in a way, but it's necessary for development.

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coopy1000@reddit

My first reaction when my kids hurt themselves and look at me is to tell them they are fine. It's not a lack of empathy but more that they seem to look at me to see my reaction. If they see me all panicked and scared that makes them panicked and scared and makes the situation ten times worse.

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AdSingle6957@reddit

Are you one of those dads who calls their young children "mate" or "dude"? That's worse

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wait_whut_@reddit

How else are the little cunts going to learn?

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Dazz316@reddit

Timmy, can you put your fucking shoes on? We're going out for some shit in a minute. Ya dick.

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melijoray@reddit

Takes me back to Manchester 1981. My mother and I staring wide eyed at each other as the woman next door yelled at her son "Stop fuckin swearin, yer foul mouthed little cunt".

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TheStatMan2@reddit

Timmy is such a fucking ass-clown though...

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TimDaww@reddit

the fuck did i do??????

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TheStatMan2@reddit

You Timmed too hard.

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Aben_Zin@reddit

It’s why he keeps fucking dying.

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YourStupidInnit@reddit

TIMMMMMMMAAAAAAAH

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missly_@reddit

[Timmy Timmy Timmy Tim](https://youtu.be/AOGgLuuM5IQ)

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Bugley15@reddit

🤣🤣🤣

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throawayeleventyone@reddit

Brings back memories

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IndelibleIguana@reddit

Is that you Dad?

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GoreJussCPMT@reddit

I've been on this app for a few years now. I can not stand those lame comments saying things like "Came here to say this" Yet here I am.

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Lawlini1978@reddit

This ☝️ 💯 lol

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Freerollingforlife@reddit

That’s a great comment on lots of levels…..

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BarmyFarmer@reddit

explain some of the levels, you’ve lost me.

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Freerollingforlife@reddit

Ok - maybe not lots of levels but I think the poster is initially ironically mirroring the language used by the guy in the description…but also suggesting that if this is your atttude then you will end up with little cunts as children…. Or the poster is serious and thinks this is the way to raise children (I doubt this) And may also be commenting on the general state of parenting in the nation…or the behaviour of children in general… And I just found it funny….but if you need to explain..

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wait_whut_@reddit

It will come as no surprise to you that I don't have kids myself 😅

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Collooo@reddit

Hahahaahaha

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cdh79@reddit

"Britneyyyyyy! If ya dunt stop fackin crying ill faking slap yah!" Chav slag, Newquay beach to to 3yr old daughter.

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Ollymid2@reddit

Tell them to their face to stop being so fucking impressionable

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TheBendiChod@reddit

Found the Aussie

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DarkHorseStoryTeller@reddit

Or the Scot

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Silverlsurferlady@reddit

Swearing wasn't classed as very nice at all in the late sixties. In fact you could get arrested in public for daring to say the F***** word. When I was 15 if I swear ed at home, got a clout or grounded. I don't like any swearing, even though I'm 72. I still find it intensely offensive, especially in songs

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toad_of_toadhall@reddit

I mean I'm glad my parents didn't swear in front of me much as a child (a particularly difficult task for my australian mother) but now as a teenager I find I swear a lot, as typical teenagers tend to I guess, sometimes I catch myself swearing in a public place when children are about which I feel bad about as I definitely think that children under 10 or so should be protected from swearing.

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ldstccfem@reddit

I swear in front of my kid but I don’t swear at him. I don’t actually mind swearing, other than the intention behind it. In that situation sweating wasn’t really appropriate. But I have no problem doing so in casual convo when the swear word has lost it’s harmful intentions. Or when I myself hurt myself

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txteva@reddit

I was brought up with no swearing. My Dad swore at me while telling me off when in my mid-teens and my Mum told him to apologise! I once accidently swore in front of my Mum while singing a song and got a sharp look but I never swore in front of them otherwise. Somewhere around my early 20's we seemed to mutually agree that casual adult swearing was now allowed between us. These days I tend to avoid swearing around children in general. Although I know a friend who will swear around (but not at) her daughter and actively says she doesn't mind others swearing but her daughter (10) has been clearly told not to repeat it - and doesn't. I'm not sure it's a policy I'd follow but it doesn't seem to do her daughter any harm.  The lack of empathy is more of an issue in my book.

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afireintheforest@reddit

Sounds like the average dysfunctional chav family.

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snow880@reddit

I don’t think you are over sensitive. I’d be sad and thinking about it all day. As a mum I feel sad that all children don’t get the same care and attention… Regarding the swearing, I never swear in front of my 4yo. I have sworn In front of my 12 yo, I tend to apologise to him to let him know it’s not good to do it but I don’t worry about it really, as I’m sure he hears it at school now he’s at secondary. Swearing at your child though is not really acceptable at any age to me (with the caveat that we all lose our cool sometimes).

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AlterCherry@reddit

well, my neighbours certainly do and I think it is absolutely disgusting.

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burp67@reddit

I swore without realising , then one day I said to my 2 1/2year old where is your coat? In the fucking car Oooeeer I'm now in the cack as my swearing was highlighted Now as an adult he rarely swears

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Overall-Block-1815@reddit

Nothing wrong with swearing, we don't think policing language is useful in any way and we all swear alot. We also let our 8yr old swear as long as it's appropriate and he knows not to just go around swearing for no reason, he's homeschooled too so we don't need to think about what teachers would want to hear. Swearing isn't the issue here though is it? (And let's be honest it's never an actual real issue) the issue is the shitty way these parents treat their kids.

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truckedoff@reddit

No not at all, kids will learn it soon enough they don't need to hear it from me. There is also a difference in swearing and swearing at them, boils my piss when I here parents telling you kids to fuck off or shut the fuck up.

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Otherwise-Ad-8404@reddit

You started with the swearing question then moved the question on to giving comfort to an upset child. On the swearing I have 4 kids all grown now I always swore in front of them ( I’m autistic and tend to swear a lot!) my kids tho never swore they knew it was bad to. Kids hear swearing everywhere now it’s all over the tv etc. I tend not to swear when in company unless it’s with friends. At a child’s birthday party I try really hard not to swear would be an example of me trying to control the swearing.

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James_IFA1980@reddit

This week we were parking our bikes at a park. The kids had been moaning, whinging, bickering for the past hour. In comes the stroppy one, dug her pedal into my achilles as I parked up and pushed the bike further into it, I was grazed and bleeding and it hurt. I was at the end of my tether so I shouted f£5king hell. If anyone heard me they would make assumptions. That was the first time my kids ever heard me swear. Don't judge people, you have no idea what sort of day its been, how many times they've warned their kids etc. I often say one of you is going to get hurt when they bicker. Sure enough they do, and then I'm the first to say no sympathy from me.

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Jonnyporridge@reddit

I don't swear at them, I try not to swear around them but it isn't always successful. In fact eldest often tells me off for doing it, he's 8.

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GenerationFlex@reddit

I swear occasionally in front of my kids. More often than I'd like to in all honesty. I think I'm a decent parent and I am trying to set a good example for my kids to learn from but the occasional one slips out. No big deal to me but sweari g at your children. That's where I have to draw the line.

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Jonesy7256@reddit

I have not adjusted my swearing since they were born they are currently 5, 8, and 12. They were known to them as rudey words and often they call me out on using them but they don't use them around adults and I am not ignorant to the fact that they probably swear around friends as most children would and they would hear the words from other people and kids anyway. We just taught them that people find them offensive, so some settings are not appropriate, but all in all, they are just words.

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TheCounsellingGamer@reddit

Big difference between swearing *around* your kids and swearing *at* your kids.

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teebiv@reddit

I swear around my 10 year old and I tell him it’s just another word and all comes down to context. I don’t care if he uses it casually (which he doesn’t, at least not in front of me) like say you drop something and say “shit”. My issue is when it’s directed at someone else in a mean, hurtful way. Just like any other word that’s hurtful and not a swear word. I think if you put these kinds of things on a pedestal and these words are forbidden it’s going to make them want to do it more.

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hauntedathiest@reddit

Personally I hate to hear parents screaming bad language at their kids.The street at the back of me is an absolute disgrace. I have never been able too let my granddaughter play in the back garden with her toys because it's constant.Day in day out. I know we all occasionally swear but when it's a personal dialogue to your small children it makes me sick to the stomach. Then of course 5yrs on the same little toddler is tearing up and down my street screaming "Lyle ya fucker wait for me ya cunt." I really wish I could afford to move.

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mikosan1@reddit

Never

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DemonikJD@reddit

I'd say I grew up in the 1% scenario where a parent might use swearing in jokes or in moments of highs and lows but I was taught they were just words to express as such, not "bad words" etc However the other 99% is typically used towards and against kids and that i just awful. It destroys their self confidence, their ability to challenge or confront problems when they have a power figure abusing them like that. TLDR: The dad sounds like a bellend, Good luck with therapy in 2 decades girls

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stuaxo@reddit

Swearing in front of them is fine, it happens - swearing at them is different.

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h4baine@reddit

Swearing reduces pain. I'd never deprive a kid of that. It's also important for expression IMHO. My parents and grandparents swore around me and I understood I couldn't use those words at school. It wasn't really an issue and I think it fostered candidness. Plus, it's funny when kids swear. Don't rob the world of that joy.

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Meal-Entire@reddit

Kid one, no swearing . Swearing is sooooooo bad. Kid two, no swearing . Stop saying that shit. Kid three, no swearing, except it is just words, I actually don’t care anymore. The grand scheme of things? All my kids are great kids. Some swear, some don’t . I swear like a fucking docker

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Imagin1956@reddit

A friend of mine ..she swears like a Docker ..lol.. Her 12 year old got suspended from school for a week ..Called the teacher a cunt and disrupted the class . QED ..

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cyliestitch@reddit

Swearing around them because it's just a part of my every day vernacular, yes. Swearing at them to demean or belittle them because I'm a piece of shit parent, no. I've always taught my kid that swear words are just words, it's how you use em, you can hurt someone with your words without using swear words as easily as you can without using them. I swear like a sailor, a particularly filthy mouthed one, I do try and temper my language while speaking with my child, same as i do around my mother or grandparents, tho he's 12 now so I'm less careful. I've heard him swear about 3 or 4 times to date, and it's always been in context and well used, so I've never pulled him up about it, he knows when are where to use his language appropriately, ie he's welcome to swear, but he knows if he does it at school in front of a teacher or in front of his grandparents, they'll likely tell him off; but gaming with his friends as long as he's not using it to hurt someone but to complain about the general scenario I'm fine with it. (His first swear was adorable, we were playing lego Harry Potter on the switch and a random character popped in, he said "who the fuck is that" under his breath, he was 9 I think, he was so embarrassed but I was kind of proud as it was situationally appropriate)

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adalwolf19@reddit

I swear in a language they don’t understand. Win win

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Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit

I dont care if people swear in front of my kids as they will hear it anyway but this guy was swearing at his kids which is much worse and I don’t think that’s okay.

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IncompetenceOfMan@reddit

hes not exactly swearing at his kids is he? hes saying stop messing or youll get hurt and thats what happened

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willy_hangslow@reddit

Telling your kids to "stop fucking around" definitely counts as swearing at them. Also nothing in that instruction conveys a concern of getting injured. It just comes across as an angry parent telling his kids to stop fucking around, more out of being a nuisance than anything.

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Ok_Application5789@reddit

Fucking around and messing around can be used interchangeably can't they? Not necessarily swearing directed at the kid

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willy_hangslow@reddit

When you're telling your kid to stop fucking around, how is that not necessarily swearing directed at the kid?!

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TheOrgazoid88@reddit

Growing up in a council scheme its normal

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throwaway768977@reddit

Stop fucking around definitely sounds more aggressive, especially said in anger

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IncompetenceOfMan@reddit

>especially said in anger anything does with this context

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IncompetenceOfMan@reddit

> told you it would hurt, now just don't look at me

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DistinctHunt4646@reddit

Given the generation of children in this country running around in balaclavas stabbing people.. I would not say modern British parenting standards are at all exemplary.

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CrimpsShootsandRuns@reddit

These are two very different things. I'll be honest, I swear in front of my kids (4 and 1) too much, but I wouldn't tell them to "not even look at me" because they were crying when they were hurt.

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kernowjim@reddit

totally and utterly abnormal

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SilkSTG@reddit

Accidentally? She was about 18 months and parroted it back to me almost immediately! On purpose? Probably about four months ago when she got really angry with me for saying bloody! In the intervening time I've sworn a lot by accident as I'm a bloody muppet.

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pumpknipie@reddit

Swearing is tacky.

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Chelseastick@reddit

The emotional disconnect in that example is frankly quite worrying. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt by assuming the parents are stressed, had enough of the children misbehaving, on top of everything else required in roles of responsibility with money being harder and harder to manage, people are under increasing pressure. That said, and I am not perfect by any means, but I would never swear in front of my children. I do not even like getting angry in front of them and want to set an example of how to regulate anger as an emotion. I also think it’s a natural parental instinct to check whether your children are ok when they’re hurt, even if you’re completely fed up. You immediately drop that and put the children first. Once you know they’re ok, then you can proceed with going down the disciplinary route, but it’s important they understand why what they’re doing is wrong, and to encourage making amends after doing something wrong.

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78ChrisJ@reddit

We don't. Yes, she hears it (movies etc) but we make it clear to her that swearing isn't a good thing.

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SnooMacarons9618@reddit

My Father used to swear around me and my siblings. I don't want recall him swearing at us though, and it wasn't a constant stream of swearing. I do remember the first time he said to someone "I'd call you a cunt, but that's useful and you're not.". This was in the 70's :)  My mother hated any and all swearing.

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baxterrocky@reddit

Yeah all the time. Pretty much since birth. No issues with swearing. Although my kids (bizarrely) don’t swear 🤷‍♂️

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roxifer@reddit

Well, my son is 5 and said "oh for fuck sake" when he dropped his toy a couple of weeks ago. I was equal parts mortified and impressed he got the right context. Lol. Anyway. I've always tried not to swear around him since he started learning to talk. That said, I'm an adult and I do make mistakes sometimes. Also I can't control the language of people in public where he could be exposed to profanities. Rather he get it out of his system now than start dropping "cunt" into conversation at age 9 or whatever

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Time-Contribution682@reddit

15. Considering how much I swear. Never swear in front of orher peoples children. Let em be kids. No reason to take away that wonderful naivety until they are older. Just let em be kids and protect them from how harsh the world can be

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tradandtea123@reddit

I must have said "what the hell" at some point and know I say it a lot. My 8 year old picked it up as "what the hat" and keeps saying it whenever there's anything surprising, now my 4 year old is copying the same expression. I don't want to correct them, so I just leave them to it.

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FormulaFourteen@reddit

One of the most depressing things I've ever seen was the week before Christmas, probably twenty years ago, sitting on a bus in Glasgow. Mum and child get on. Child is probably five or six. Child is excited about Christmas, asking loads of questions etc. I can't remember exactly how they got onto it, but the child eventually asked the mum if they were on the bus because they were going to visit Santa Claus. The reply? "Ah fuckin' telt ye, Santa Claus is an auld cunt" That will remain with me until my dying day. Ugh.

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taylorstillsays@reddit

My daughter is 18months and I probably swear around her more than I should. I’ve naturally got a potty mouth, but I think there’s a big difference between using swear words around them and using swear words at them. I do the former, not the latter. I don’t see it as a big deal personally, when the time comes when she inevitably tries to use a swear word I plan to explain that it’s inappropriate for children.

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premium_bawbag@reddit

I’ve been told my first word was shit, should explain enough really

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blue2coffee@reddit

I’m foul as fuck in real life, but I exceedingly rarely swear in front of my kids. It was a taboo for my parents. I’m trying you loosen up but at this stage (kids 10 and 16) curses have so much power that I use save them for special occasions.

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External-Book-3698@reddit

Is your question about swearing or about the response to the children? Regarding the swearing, nope, we don't sweat in front of the kids. Although, my husband and I have slightly different ideas as to what constitutes swearing. He thinks '

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Ordinary-Break2327@reddit

When I was a child, my dad was a right cunt to me. I fell off my BMX and winded myself. My dad just stood there laughing and said, "Get up you big puff!" I'd dislocated a bone in my hand but he wasn't interested. Then he made me climb a cliff while on holiday. I almost reached the top but then lost my footing and couldn't get up. I began crying but dad helped me...by grabbing me by my hair and pulling me up while calling me a "fanny". I still live with him today but I'm bigger than him so he knows what'll happen if he pisses me off.

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Head_Statistician_38@reddit

My parents rarely swore to me. My mother would say "shit" when she made a pretty bad mistake but that's it. In my teenage years my Dad got more okay with swearing and would say "shit" so much more. Only heard him say "fuck" a handful of times but it was mostly him quoting stuff and usually when he was drunk. He doesn't swear because of the attitude around it but I laughed when were watching a film and a character did something stupid and out of nowhere he just said "Silly cunt!" I am an adult now obviously but it was funny as hell.

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MyMainAcctIsBroken@reddit

See if you're good, you'll get nice things. If you're a cunt, you'll get fuck all.

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Danmanchester@reddit

There's a big difference between swearing AT your kids and swearing IN FRONT of your kids

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squanchy747@reddit

I will try to avoid it but if it happens it happens

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I_am__the_liquor@reddit

Interesting one this. I've always been a bit foul mouthed, ever since I was a teenager. When my daughter was born I made the decision that I wasn't going to swear in front of her. Now it's been hard - bloody fucking bastarding cunting twatting hard to be precise - but 11 years in and I still haven't.

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HideousTits@reddit

Honestly, it may not have been worth your time. I’m 13 years in and have never curbed my swearing in front of my kids. However, they have always known that swearing is for adults, like alcohol or driving, and never questioned it. They weren’t treated as taboo words in my house, so they were never “special”. My 13 year old and 10 year old boys have never sworn in my presence, save for one time my youngest tried out a “shit” when he dropped something years ago, and promptly burst into tears.

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kayjay777@reddit

I feel this. I was very strict with the whole non swearing in the house thing when my son was young. As a natural Scottish swearer it was very difficult. I swore like a trooper at work for the release. Now he's 16 though and I can be myself. But still, I have moments when I swear and still panic. But he's cool.

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RequiredDollar@reddit

I know when the day comes and I have children, I’ll also make the same choice as you. I try not to swear around my friends kids even though they do themselves lol

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Rodneyodd@reddit

Hello mcfly! No swearing.

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I-Fuck-Chickens-241@reddit

I wouldn't call them MY kids!

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Collooo@reddit

I have swore once to my child in anger, I regret it. Some swear words do pop out when I'm around friends but I do try not to, he is old enough to understand some words are not great to use in general conversation and could cause offence.

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SoggyWotsits@reddit

I know a couple who swear in front of their kids all the time. The youngest (3.5) regularly tells people to fuck off and tells people he’s having a piss or shit… call me old fashioned but I don’t think it’s nice to hear from a child!

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Engels33@reddit

You are old fashioned (as requested) - But. There is a difference between saying 'shit', 'fucking hell' etc and telling someone to 'fuck off'. The later is verbal abuse and not I wouldn't let my kids ever say that... the other is mild profanity and really a matter of taste. So far my kids don't swear (eldest is 6) it probably won't last much longer and when they do I will tell them that we shouldn't say bad words... But I couldn't be hypocritical and tel them never to do so.. because we do swear including in front of them. It's about context and where you are.

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SoggyWotsits@reddit

Unfortunately he just thinks it’s funny. On a video call to his great grandparents the other day (with his own parents), he shouted *bye motherfuckers!* if that was my child, he’d have been told off, not laughed with after pretending to the (luckily hard of hearing) couple that he’d said something else!

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Engels33@reddit

Yes agree. Very young children need boundaries that are proportionate and typically become more relaxed as they get older. This sounds like a case of zero boundaries and bad parenting

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I_R0M_I@reddit

Seems like you're more bothered by the attitude, than the single swear word. I've always sworn around my daughter, she never swears, won't even repeat a word in a story, even if I try and get her to. Will just confirm when I say the correct one. I guess it all depends how you were raised as to whether you do it yourself.

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Limiyanna@reddit

I dont swear around or in front of my toddler daughter if I can help it. I have accidentally possibly uttered one under my breath when hurting myself or being cut up in the car. But on the whole I don't like swearing around kids. I was raised in a household where we didn't swear, and even now I rarely swear in front of my parents. I can and they won't mind. But it's ingrained. I won't swear in front of my niece of nephew either as their parents don't even like the word 'crap' being uttered. But if others want to swear with their kids then that's their choice. I don't mind so much when she is late teens or early adult. But as a child I want her to be able to use more vocabulary than straight to swear words. Also as a girl I feel like we shouldn't swear as much and I know that is totally sexist nowadays. But it's just how I was raised and the feeling it gives me now. I do swear around other adults at times when I feel it's called for or to make more of a point.

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Opposite_Dog8525@reddit

Yeah all the time but I don't drop the c-bomb. It's a class thing you posh twats 😂

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oeuflaboeuf@reddit

My wife swears like a trooper; she's dropped "fuck" or "cunt" into every sentence said in front of our kids since birth. I don't think they've ever heard me swear once; i think it's cheap. By some miracle our kids (11, 13, 20) don't swear a whole lot (at least that I know of!!)

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Dr3w106@reddit

My dad used cunt as a verb. Every fecking other fucking cunting word was a swear word. I turned out just fucking fine. Cunt.

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Surreywinter@reddit

What age? I've been doing it since my early 30s

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Royal_Case_4776@reddit

I swear around my kid, not at her. Well, not aggressively, sometimes a 'what the fuck' is appropriate. She needs to learn time and place, so no effing and jeffing in the doctors waiting room or at school, but our home is hers too, so swearing isn't bad unless it is used to hurt. Also, if she were to have someone grab her, she shouts every swear word she knows. Screaming doesn't get as much attention on a playground but shouting 'fuck shit piss cunt' will!

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klaud_ear@reddit

I do, I've always sworn since my 5yo was a baby. She went through a phase of saying swears when she started to learn to talk but quickly realised they're adult words and hates saying them since. It's just words.

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FunHawk4092@reddit

I swear around my kid all the time. He's non verbal. He ain't gonna repeat me! Downvote me all you want. This is my coping mechanism for having a disabled child who j will never hear the voice of, who will never be able to tell me his favourite food or colour or tell me he loves me! That he can never go to a mainstream school, play sports and J will never become a grandma, or even have a child that can have a job! If you don't laugh, you'll cry!

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BansheeTheeSuccubus@reddit

Everyone in my family swears so my 3 year old son does pick some words up. However, I try not to because if he does swear, I’d tell him off but at the same time it’s unfair because he’s learning it from us. My mother on the other hand, has been telling him to say “bastard, bollox and tell em to fuck off” from a very young age which mr and my partner are not impressed with. No matter how many times I tell her to stop, she just carries on thinking it’s funny. It’s not funny at all. If he learns it from hearing us then what can you do, they’re gonna learn it from somewhere but I don’t like when they are told to swear and think it’s okay.

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BarApprehensive5837@reddit

My dad did since I was probably 8, because I learned that sheizer was not,in fact,a made up word,it was German for shit,so he heard me say it and said don't let your mum hear you saying that(she speaks German,what are the fucking odds)

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Chance-Albatross-211@reddit

I love a good swear and while I try not to in front of my kids, my two year old has started shaking her head and saying ‘duck’s sake’ around the house if she drops something or I have the audacity to make the sandwich she specifically asked for, so I think I do it more than I realise. I personally think it’s how swearing is used. I teach the kids not to call each other too horrid names, but explain that swear words are words that grown ups use when they are cross or upset. However, not responding to a child who is distressed is pretty f***ing horrible.

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Aunty-Saz@reddit

Maybe it depends on where you're from but it's perfectly normal to swear around and at your kids in Scotland 😂

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PartyHulk@reddit

Never. I associate it with shitty parenting.

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ambidextrousalpaca@reddit

I think the question is better put as "At what point do you lose your shit to the extent that you end up swearing in front of you kids despite the fact that they are small children?" Is it when you stub your toe painfully while in the company of your children? Is it when you're already 10 minutes late for work and your six year old is still refusing to put on their shoes after half an hour of gentle coaxing and slightly less gentle threatening? Is it when one of your kids crashes into the other one on their bike on purpose, knocking the little one onto the ground and leaving them crying? Pretty much everyone's got a breaking point where they'll start swearing in front of their kids, the question is where.

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cap_time_wear_it@reddit

Just name them DammitRay and you’re good

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Fat_Gerrard@reddit

My father in law swears in front of my son all the time but he does it in a way and a tone that means it’s not interesting to my son so he never repeats it. Whereas if I swear in front of him it’s because I’ve been wronged so their is hate and exclamation in my swearing. Guess what he repeats it from me.

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jambo_1983@reddit

In front of my kids: yes At my kids: no

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maya_clara@reddit

My parents, especially my dad, swore around me (not really at me) growing up. I remember only once saying a swear word when I was young at daycare and I got in timeout. Never actually started swearing again until early high-school

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iamdecal@reddit

In front of , yes at , no

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Zerocoolx1@reddit

I try not to.

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Grotbagsthewonderful@reddit

Well never if you can avoid it, it's not something you want to normalise, there are people who will judge both you and your children for it and they'll stop getting invited to things. I think I made it to adulthood without ever hearing my dad say the f word till a couple years ago.

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Budget_Spot5951@reddit

I prefer to teach my little angels empathy and respect without the colorful language, thank you.

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Vainybangstick@reddit

I’ll never forget walking through my local village centre, and there was a woman with a child in a pram. The child was maybe four and too big for the pram. The boy kept touching his feet on the floor and the mum is getting really annoyed with him. I was shocked when she tipped the pram back to look in his face, and shouted at him “ pack it in th you little dickhead” Mum of the year right there. Still wonder what kind of like that kids had.

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madepi@reddit (OP)

Sometimes I wish there was a test like driving for couples who are planning to be parents... Would spare a lot of kids from trauma.

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oowhat@reddit

I think I've sworn once in front of my kids and they're 11 and 12. Very nearly called my son a cunt once when he made me jump though 😆

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TSotP@reddit

We taught our girls at an early age that it's not swearing that is wrong. I explained to them that the whole point to talking it to get ideas from one brain to another, and that as soon as you swear in front of an adult, they stop listening to what you are trying to say, and only focus on the swearing, therefore it just gets in the way, so don't do it. None of this "naughty" or "bad" shit. Because I remember swearing like a trooper when I was a kid, as does my wife. So we know our kids are going to as well. It also means you don't have all the hassle of watching what you are saying in front of them. Treat your kids like short adults with no experience and it should work out for the best.

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FroHawk98@reddit

Without going into how we swear. My kid just knows the words and not to repeat them ever. Nearly 8 and honestly not once. Great kid.

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sleeplessandloveless@reddit

the swearing isn’t the issue it’s the lack of care that one got hurt. “don’t look at me” parents in this thread can whinge to me all they want about “bad days” and “getting frustrated” and “children are hard work” and “sometimes they need to learn the hard way” but telling an injured child to “don’t look at me it’s your fault you got hurt” is the behaviour of a c**t

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bens676@reddit

Was she actually injured?

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Current_Champion_464@reddit

This my son will limp if he scraped his knee, he will act like his hand is broken if he gets a small scratch on his finger

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Goobernauts_are_go@reddit

Not at all in front of my teenagers

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Sudden-Possible3263@reddit

Dad had obviously had enough of telling them it would hurt if they kept doing it, kids didn't listen and kept at it, ignoring dad's advixe so they found out and it hurt, it's the kids own fault really. Many kids choose to learn things the hard way after being warned not to something, some can be super boisterous and it must be frustrating for parents of these kids that get into all sorts of scrapes, a kid will often choose to learn things the hard way, ignoring parents advise not to do it and it's good they get to do that, this learns them of their own limits and gives the kid a sense of danger awareness. A lot of kids are soft nowadays due to being overprotective and don't even get taught basic road sense and many can't cope with life in general stemming from this, kids need a bit of freedom to find what they're capable of physically for their own good. This dad could have been a bit more sympathetic towards them but how frustrated was he, had he repeatedly warn them previously and been ignored?

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Jerico_Hill@reddit

My mum always swore, but her rule was adults were allowed to and children weren't. I think I was allowed to swear from about 16 on.

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Personal-Zombie1880@reddit

No it is sad and then these parents will wonder why their kids end up talking like that. We have to lead by example. I will talk to my children the way I want them to talk to me and others. Swearing and such impatience will dent at their self esteem. If only parents were more aware because this is the future generation. It worries me

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PubicWildlife@reddit

Don't particularly, nor do my kids. Happens occasionally. I'll pull them up on it if deserved. Occasionally a 'fucking hell', or 'wanker' is entirely justified. Cunt is a hard one though. Despite the amount of cunts.

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dick_schidt@reddit

What saddens me are the parents who end nearly every sentence with a put-down. "What were you thinking? Idiot." "Put that down. Dumb arse." "What are you, stupid?"

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bbrowe@reddit

I am 27 and my parents still tell me off for swearing

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Muz333@reddit

When I pick my 5 year old son up from nursery the same 3 and 4 year olds are getting into trouble every day for swearing. The parents claim they don’t know where it could possibly come from but they are constantly swearing at the kids to get them into the car. It’s a rough couple of families and the parent of the 3 year old has tried to petition the council to get him admitted into school early as she thinks he’s ready. Really she just wants him to be someone else’s problem all day instead of half day.

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Freddie_K_B@reddit

I feel like what you've described is just bad parenting

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lucky-cat-sees-stars@reddit

Yeah I do, I don’t really see the issue with swearing. You know certain words, the usual shit fuck etc I just don’t get why people are offended by them. Don’t get me wrong I’m not using them in every sentence. But yeah I certainly won’t be telling my son off for it

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CharMercury1970@reddit

The whole attitude that seems to scream, “you are a bother to me and I don’t care about you” is what I’m getting from this. It’s true that you only witnessed a few seconds of that interaction, but people usually put their better feet forward. As far as cussing, I don’t like it when parents cuss in front of their child, and they should never cuss at them. My sister used to do that and be mean to her kids.

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steffth@reddit

We casually swear at home and my kids have same rules that we did growing up - swearing is the unspoken category on your driving licence. Once you can drive, you can swear. It's all about context though - I might yell cuntyfucksticks if instub my toe, but I wouldn't swear AT my kids.

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Good_Loaf@reddit

That’s just chavvy parents for you

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VenderFender@reddit

Growing up my parents swore around me all the time. However, one swore AT me a lot more frequently than the other, and for me that’s the main difference. I don’t have children of my own but nothing irks me quite like a small child telling me off for swearing in conversation with other adults. When I was young, you learned that swearing was a thing that adults did because they were adults. I’m not a fan of the approach that the whole world should be designed for children

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Beneficial_Look4320@reddit

I'm scottish and swear fucking constantly...but never not once infront of my now 13 year old...I just don't and he doesn't...in my earshot anyway. Just about treating him with a bit of respect whilst he's growing and developing.

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ad4m-is-cre4tive@reddit

I don't swear in front of mine, 9 and 12, and I'll jokingly chastise others for swearing around them. I'm aware they probably swear amongst friends.

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throawayeleventyone@reddit

The rule is, adults can swear, kids can't. Once you're old enough and something significantly dodgy happens, you can let out your first "fucking hell" in front of your dad, maybe. But never in front of mum unless you're defending her honour. In front of aunts and uncles you can swear from 12 as long as they think it's funny.

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ShoulderOk4934@reddit

My son is non verbal autistic. I hit my head on the kitchen cupboard and shouted for fuck sake. He now when hurt or is even slightly aggrieved shouts fuck sake.

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druss81@reddit

only under my breath

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LessImplement9400@reddit

i don't have kids but my parents swore in front of me and i turned out fine. i'm just someone who swears a lot as well now lol. i probably would swear in front of my kids as well, i don't really see anything wrong with it generally speaking.

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etsatlo@reddit

Swearing at and around children is a god filter for people you don't want to associate with in my experience

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bens676@reddit

As in, it helps you spot who the uptight arseholes are when they complain about it?

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malewifechad@reddit

my dad sat me down when i was about 7 years old and told me every single common swear word he could think of - specifically so i would know what they meant, and why people used them. it meant that i didn't pick them up at school, and didn't think they were "naughty" (aka: really cool and should be said all the time) i think it's fine for kids to know and learn about swear words, however context matters. learning swear words because your parents and effing and jeffing and yelling them all the time - that can be harmful, and unpleasant. learning swear words at school from other kids who have dad's like mine or shit parents that verbally abuse them - pretty standard, i remember when me and the other boys were around 10/11 we thought it was "cool" and would dare each other to say them (it was not cool, it was really cringe, alas, my dad's lesson went over my head) learning swear words, particularly in the age of the internet, is gonna happen. learning them in the context you described, definitely not great. i was around 12/13 when i first swore in front of my family in an angry way (and was told off lol), i think puberty tends to be when swear words because more normal for kids to experiment with or go off on one with (puberty + new emotions + mood swings = arguments at times, which can then lead to more swearing) i was around 15/16 when pretty much everyone was swearing at all times, and to this day i will endearingly call my friends bitch/bastard lol. i guess it depends on the culture and the people that are around - i wouldn't swear near kids, i wouldn't swear around older people or people in a position of authority, for example. my parents were more OK with swearing around me when i hit around 15/16 as well (mild road rage, stubbing of toes, the occasional "why the fUck would you think that was a sensible idea!")

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devildance3@reddit

I was 38 and had just got a mouthful of piss after blowing farts on the belly of my 3 week old, sans nappy

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she_couldnt_do_it@reddit

Swear in front of yes I do, swear at them / when talking to them never.

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Flakey77@reddit

I do , I kick the little feckers too

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pullingteeths@reddit

This is an example of someone swearing AT their kid, which is an unnecessarily aggressive thing to do. Very different to just swearing in front of them.

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slowlycatchiemonkey@reddit

My boy is autistic and we have up on the swearing thing a long time ago. It's not about teaching when it's appropriate to use.

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FeuerLohe@reddit

I’m going to ignore everything that’s wrong with that encounter and just focus on the question. I swear I’m front of my children. They are allowed to swear back. No insults and nothing directed at another person. If that happens I ask them if they’d like being called whatever they just said (they don’t know any real insults (yet) so usually it’s just some random made-up stuff). Swearing however is totally fine. We adults do it so tue children are allowed to do it in appropriate settings. The only way they can learn what appropriate settings/situations are is by trial and error. They need to be able to explore language in oder to learn it and swearing/cussing is no different. I don’t see why adults are allowed to use certain words that children aren’t supposed to use. That’s so as I say not as I do and I don’t like that mentality.

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Green_Giant25@reddit

While I don't think swearing necessarily does any harm, it needs to be taught to use appropriately. There are plenty of kids who hear it from their parents and end up cussing out their classmates and teachers

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RummazKnowsBest@reddit

I don’t but then I don’t swear in front of my parents. I’d still get told off and I’m pushing 40. My wife does, not to them usually but she’ll drop the odd F bomb etc in front of them. Her dad and brother swear a lot (literally like sailors, they’re both ex navy). Every time one of our kids has sworn it’s something they’ve heard her saying.

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DavidT119@reddit

That guy just sounds horrible. Regarding the question about swearing in front of your kids; I really try hard not to after my four year old was in the car with his gran (my mum), someone pulled out in front of her, kid shouts “what a prick!” Shameful shit right there.

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Mad-Master-Maxwell@reddit

Swearing is fine I think as long as it's not done out of anger like in the situation you saw

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ilovepuscifer@reddit

Swearing in front of your kids and swearing *at* your kids are two very different things. The latter is, obviously, very problematic, but the former really depends on various factors. I wouldn't clutch my pearls at someone dropping an innocent f bomb in front of their kids.

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pintofBassyouth@reddit

Tbf the guy doing the swearing could be you in a different moment. I whinge like fuck when people don't indicate right at a roundabout but I will exonerate myself when I do the same thing calling it a minor lapse. It happens, you just try to get better at things as life goes on.

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CONE-MacFlounder@reddit

i never swear around my parents honestly just because it just feels wrong even if im like talking to them about something that actually pissed me off or whatever but like in public i just dont give a shit if some kid overhears or something i mean literally everyone i knew was swearing by the age of like 12 aside from one kid who was like trying not to because he was a christian and then just stopped caring about swearing by the age of 14

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PeterleeBlackCat@reddit

No kids yet, but I do swear a lot around mates etc. If/when I have kids I wouldn't swear in front of them, and I don't swear in front of other people's kids. Maybes it would be different when they are adults, but I still don't swear around my parents and vice versa. It makes me really cringe if I'm out and about and hear someone effing and blinding at/in front of their kids.

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pharmacoli@reddit

This thread oh so needs this. https://youtu.be/uMMLqDWIgzw

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idontlikemondays321@reddit

It depends. A parent that’s been with their three kids 24/7 in the holidays and has reached the end of their tether after telling them to stop messing about.. they’re allowed the odd swear word or to not be at their most sympathetic. A parent that loses their shit over small things all the time then that’s not great. I sometimes swear in-front of my kids but not directly at or to them, more so during conversation with my partner I.e ‘let’s not go to that shit restaurant’.

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brainfreezeuk@reddit

Swearing Infront of ones offspring is - common - shows lack of intelligence - shows a bad example on how to interact.

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vishybear@reddit

More fun to swear I'm front of other people's kids...

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gowithflow192@reddit

Swearing especially in anger at children is awful. Lack of self-control. Says everything about society. Good for you that you still have standards.

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DoctorOctagonapus@reddit

I'm 32 and I still have to mind my language around my parents!

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McBird-255@reddit

I swear in front of my child all the time. But I don’t swear AT him. Now that he’s a bit older, I sometimes jokingly call him a little shit when we’re messing around (he’s almost 13). He laughs and calls me some silly names back. And we pretend to be outraged and chase each other or whatever. It’s all in fun. But he absolutely knows the difference between a cheeky swear and an unacceptable level of rudeness, so I’m ok with it.

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hulkissmashed@reddit

Swore at someone else's kids the other day. 10 or 11 years old probably and a group of them were throwing bottles of water at people from the top of a 4 storey car park. So I shouted at them to stop throwing shit and to fuck off. Little cunts.

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tommmmss@reddit

I think there is a big difference between swearing AROUND of your child and swearing AT them. I don’t like it when parents swear AT their children, like the man you’re talking about. It comes across as very aggressive towards the child. I once overheard a mother calling her (maybe 2 year old) son a “fucking idiot” which was heartbreaking. That’s such a strong phrase. Even saying “stop messing around you’re being an idiot” would have been much softer. On the other hand, I don’t really have a problem with parents swearing AROUND their children when talking to other adults. My parents used to swear to each other and would say “shit” or “fuck” when surprised but I knew it was never directed at me. Swearing can be funny when in the right context but that context should never be to give powerful or aggressive emphasis towards a child. I’m really referring to people with young children, not kids over 12. This is coming from someone who swears a lot in a lighthearted manner. Also to actually answer your question, I was about 12 when my parents started swearing around me.

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Sad_Maximum3344@reddit

We always swear in front of kids..now 11 and 17. To be honest kids will pick up swear words as soon as they school....mine have always been around swearing but you don't hear any of those come out their mouths..even the 17 Yr old. Mine know that only adults are to use those words and there one word that never gets used!!

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Shanobian@reddit

Go the fuck to sleep

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lookhereisay@reddit

I swear at stuff (the dishwasher, the back door that won’t shut properly and thingy I dropped) but not at people. My son is 1.5 and he’ll copy me but they are only words after all. So long as they aren’t said to people especially in anger. Sometimes you stub your toe and need to say “bloody table” to feel better. I try to gentle parent. I don’t shout. I set boundaries. But god kids can push buttons and you’re usually sleep deprived and spread thin. Sometimes it’s good for them to see us as human and get frustrated. If they watch us get angry and then use methods to calm down then they might put it into practice.

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Anna_o69@reddit

The scene you witnessed is concerning, not only because of the swearing but because of the complete lack of empathy shown by the parent. My kids regularly hurt themselves after I specifically told them not to do the thing that caused them to hurt themselves, but my go-to response is not to swear at them or gloat about how right I was to warn them! In the moment you deal with the injury and comfort them. The telling off or reminding them comes later, when they've calmed down and will actually listen. To the question, I do actually swear in front of my kids sometimes. In my own culture (I'm from an EU country), certain swearing is a lot more social acceptable (my dad for instance will say 'shit' all the time) and I personally don't see it as a crazy big deal. I'll never swear at them of course, but if I hurt myself or am seriously angered I will utter a 'shit' or 'fuck'. Swearing can be cathartic and as long as you teach your children when it is and isn't appropriate it really isn't such a big deal. My youngest is 5 and he doesn't swear inappropriately or much at all really, so they can be taught from a young age to mind their words, even if they hear bad ones occasionally. Luckily I swear in my native language when I'm really angry and my kids have learned a few words that won't cause them any issues speaking in the UK lol

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ManMythNarcissist@reddit

I’ve sworn around my 2 year old & now I he will occasionally proclaim ‘For fuck sake’ or ‘Get to fook’. We’ve managed to change the word from fuck/fook to fork, but it’s still hilarious to here a 2 year old should for fork sake sporadically. However, we’ve now stopped. But that being said I’ve never not sworn around my 10 year old & to my knowledge she hasn’t ever swore. Even as a toddler I don’t remember her swearing. Recently we told her she can say shit, but as an exclamation & not I’m going for a shit, or it stinks of shit here. Don’t know why but that seems worse

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TillyTeckel@reddit

My partner has Tourettes so our kids have grown up knowing a LOT of words they might not have otherwise have heard yet. My view is that words are just words and the context and emotion behind them is more important. They don't get sworn at in anger.

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The_Bravinator@reddit

I'm not so bothered about swearing but I'll never tolerate slurs. Body part/bodily function swear words don't seem like something that really need to be policed at home. I did hold off until I knew who my kid was, though. If she was the kind of child who repeated everything or pushed boundaries I wouldn't have. But I ended up with the kind of child who thoughtfully considers things and cries if she thinks she's broken the rules, so I feel like I can tell her "don't use these words outside of the home or in front of guests" and trust her to follow that. So far she's never said them at all except to ask a clarifying question and even then she whispered it to me. I'm a big believer in parenting the child you have--that can mean different things depending on who they are as a person.

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OrganizationOk5418@reddit

I only started when they did to me, when the youngest was 17.

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Spottyjamie@reddit

Not at all I have to say fudge/fiddlesticks/sausages if i stub my toe or owt

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spaceshipcommander@reddit

Never. I don't swear in front of my mother and I will never swear in front of my daughter. The only reasons people do it is because they either have no respect for their children or are too stupid to understand that your manner should be appropriate for the situation you find yourself in.

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DryNobody5536@reddit

Or maybe it’s because they don’t see completely arbitrary ‘naughty words’ as big of a crisis as you do.

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spaceshipcommander@reddit

You might think they are arbitrary, but the fact is that society as a whole agrees on which words are acceptable when. If you don't teach your children that then you're doing them a disservice. If you really think they are arbitrary then you've have no reason to use them. The fact that they have meaning or emotion tied to them means they are not arbitrary at all. Racist words are just words. Do you use them in front of your kids?

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DryNobody5536@reddit

You don’t have to accept anything that is normal in the society you are in. Some people live in societies where it is considered incorrect for women to have the same rights as men. It’s possible for society to agree on something silly. Swear words are used to add emphasis. They’re not inherently bad. They are used in all kinds of contexts: bad, neutral and good (people often say things such as “I fucking love you”). As you say, they’re not arbitrary in the sense that other words could not achieve this to the same effect. But it is arbitrary to declare that they should never be used in any context, in front of certain people. I have never known one person who doesn’t swear. Assuming that many of them had parents who shielded them from those words growing up, what exactly did that achieve? They just ended up doing it anyway. Kids should be taught to not be unkind to people. They should know not to say ‘go jump off a fucking cliff’ because it is a very unkind thing to say, not because there is a naughty word in there. You don’t need to teach your children swear words, but because the majority of people do it, they WILL hear them. Kids are curious and notoriously rebellious; if you tell them that there are ‘no-no’ words, they will tell their friends about them and say them as much as possible behind your back. That’s exactly what happened at my school. Somebody’s parents told a kid there were ‘evil words’ that they should never say; the kid told all the other kids and soon everybody was saying them. If you didn’t elevate them to this Voldemort status, they wouldn’t care. Shielding them is not only ineffectual but counter-productive, and even if you did manage it, it would last until age 13 at best. It’s impossible to say a racial slur without there being bad context. The definition of the word is the bad context. Kids should be taught not to say words that mean you hate black people, because hating black people is unkind. ‘Fuck’ doesn’t mean anything until it’s applied to context.

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Exotic_PP@reddit

The other reason might be that my vocabulary is fucking shit.

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Randa08@reddit

No because people who swear in front of their kids tend to swear at their kids. And it's ugly all round.

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Dans_Old_Games_Room@reddit

I don't swear in front of my kid and I'll tell people not to as well, but if they want to swear in front of their own kids then that's their business and I don't care. As long as its not in front of mine

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Independent-Self-139@reddit

On the contrary knowing my kids mimic all l do good and bad. Ive elected to be a model of patience ( l had to cultivate cause l had little ) l watch my words carefully. Electing to refrain from harsh, vulgar, and swearing. Fruits of my behaivor are comming to bear, im constantly told how my children are kind, well behaved, considerate, as well as good students.Took work on my part well worth the effort.

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Healthy-Grocery6055@reddit

I'm not as strict with swearing in front of my daughter than my parents were with me - I still don't deliberately swear in front of them and I'm 42. But we do try and kerb it. We use "naughty" words a lot but not swear words as such, like bugger and bloody etc. The majority of my swearing comes when driving and that's when she hears it the most. On Christmas Day last year she couldn't work out how to do a puzzle box and she whispered "this fucking thing" which is something I would say. She hasn't said it since because we didn't make a big deal out of it. I think sometimes if you tell a kid off for swearing, that's when they know it's a bad word and that's when they want to use it more. It's a losing battle though because eventually at school all the kids will be swearing after learning it from each other.

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deccyfish@reddit

When kids are young bad words to them are "bum". Words like cunt are like calculus, it hasn't entered their life yet so it's just a word. Growing up they'll hear swear words regardless of whether you say them or not.

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deccyfish@reddit

When kids are young bad words to them are "bum". Words like cunt are like calculus, it hasn't entered their life yet so it's just a word. Growing up they'll hear swear words regardless of whether you say them or not.

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deccyfish@reddit

When kids are young bad words to them are "bum". Words like cunt are like calculus, it hasn't entered their life yet so it's just a word. Growing up they'll hear swear words regardless of whether you say them or not.

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deccyfish@reddit

When kids are young bad words to them are "bum". Words like cunt are like calculus, it hasn't entered their life yet so it's just a word. Growing up they'll hear swear words regardless of whether you say them or not.

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JayBeeOneKenobi@reddit

I swear in front of mine. Less in front of the youngest. I would never swear at them like in your example. Horrific behaviour.

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Rum_Ham94@reddit

My in laws are always swearing around my kids on that side of the family. One of them is in high school and doesn’t imitate it, but the other is a toddler and basically copies everything. It’s low-key hilarious but is very concerning, makes me a little bit worried for if/when I have kids.

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GandalfsNozzle@reddit

I have a 4 and 2 year old and by god it doesn't matter how or when you swear......THEY WILL REPEAT IT.

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Babington67@reddit

I mean if its just a normal conversation then not really tull they're around 12ish because at that point they would've heard WAY worse being at public school presumably.

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SceneDifferent1041@reddit

No, only scumbags do what OP described.

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LondonCycling@reddit

I'm a scout leader and the answer for me is no. Not because I particularly care about children swearing, but I can guarantee that out of the hundreds of scouts I interact with each week, there's bound to be a parent who's unhappy with it, and I can do without the arguments! My niece and nephew sometimes hear adults swear around them. It's only once been a problem where, on a packed train, my 4 year old niece told her mummy to fuck off. Now.. she was 4. She didn't really understand the implications of telling somebody to fuck off. What's happened is, she's heard her nan telling one of our cats to fuck off because (to be fair to her) - he's a prick. You'll be walking down the stairs in the morning and he wants feeding and he'll walk one step ahead of you, then randomly stop and turn round to make sure you're still there. My brother in law tripped over him once because of it. He whinges all day for food. He's 25 years old *in cat years* so he's the equivalent of your racist uncle who says and does what he wants. She was given the silent treatment for the rest of the journey and then explained to why it's not acceptable to tell another person to fuck off. But.. I am fully expecting her to develop a love for the phrase, "For fuck's sake!", which seems to be a common one round us. I only really swear as a reflex reaction to e.g. dropping something in my foot. I wouldn't mind a child of any age developing that vocabulary - it's going to happen at some point anyway. But I would never use insulting phrases in front of children of any age. Mind you I also don't non-jokingly call people names, whether they're swear words or otherwise.

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NewUnderstanding4275@reddit

I never swear at my kids (9 and 11) but I swear around them usually in a jokey manner.

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I-am-nosy@reddit

I remember I worked with a little boy once at a school. We had to send him home as he was very emotional and was hurting other children and staff. He was only six but his language was very colourful too. His mum picked him up and said to me “I don’t fucking know where he gets his language from, little shit”. I think my face said it all that day.

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Flimflamsam@reddit

Now that she’s turned 18 I’ll let “shit” fly, but that’s about it. She’s already slipped up with an F-bomb, which was quite a shock but eh, I swore like a soldier at her age so can’t be mad.

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elmachow@reddit

We didn’t swear until he was 10, now we try not to but joke when we do, lots of my friends swore round their kids from a younger age. We tell him off when he punctuates every sentence with ‘flipping’ now though

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pinkappleflower@reddit

The best way to approach a child getting hurt is with "oh dear, let's get that cleaned up!" clean the wound, then don't make more of a fuss about it. If the child is fixating on it just tell them that it will get better and not to worry. (Obviously, this only applies to minor injuries). Swearing at a child and ignoring them to that extent is definitely neglectful.

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Mindless_Ad_5880@reddit

Try not to but sometimes I do, I apologise. My kids know what swearing is and they do not use it. The novelty wears off. Now it's just something they know.

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Legitimate-Health-29@reddit

I fully swear bar the c word, my 10 year old knows there’s a tolerance for crap but that’s about it, she knows not to say shit and fuck. I don’t think swear words are that bad tbh, there are no bad words, only bad intentions I heard once. These words exist and there’s a time to use them.

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Capital_Punisher@reddit

I've sworn 'at' my daughter once, but that was supposed to be indirectly. She dropped a large wooden box full of puzzles on my bare foot, corner right into the bit above my toes. I hopped around for a second, walked to the next room and said ' oh you little shit', in a non-angry tone. I didn't realise she had followed me into the next room and heard. She is only 2.5 so I think I got away with it. I occasionally slip up with a swear word in front of her as they tend to be part of my vocabulary, but try my best to avoid it. Especially as wifey is very anti naughty words in front of the kid. Neither of us have ever heard her repeat a swear word, so I can't be doing that bad! I would like to avoid using them too much around her for a while yet, just so she doesn't think it's ok to use them at school etc until old enough to understand. I personally don't have an issue with swear words. They are part of a wider and more vibrant vocabulary that sometimes highlights issues in a way others can't. But I don't want my daughter to use them without knowing the meaning or gravity behind them. Especially somewhere like school where she could offend someone (even if I don't agree with it).

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Strong_Roll5639@reddit

I've sworn in front of her but never at her.

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justanoldwoman@reddit

I always swore in front of mine but not at them, but I've never had an issue with swearing and still don't as I get older.

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cactusghecko@reddit

I never swear around my kids (under 10 years) but its not taboo either. If my kids start using swear words from school I mostly want to make sure they know what they're saying and when it is and isn't appropriate. My parents never swore around me and I did not know sooo many swear words and was too embarrassed to ask. Oh but my dad did call me a bitch once in a fit of temper. Did I deserve it? No. Interestingly, no one in all my life (in over 40 years) has ever called me a bitch. So I can't be that nasty a person but maybe that day I was out of line, somehow.

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Varsouviana@reddit

My parents never swore at or in front of me, I rarely swear in normal conversation (don't feel any way about it, just never got in the habit). I don't expect my children will hear much swearing, at least from me. Hope I don't lose my temper with them either, but of course being a parent is stressful.

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SilveryFish@reddit

I never swear in front of my kids (now 14 and 10), probably because I was raised that way. I do swear in certain adult environments, but I have a strong filter. My tolerance of swearing from TV/music/public is gradually increasing as they get older, they hear it all at school after all.

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BobDude65@reddit

I don't have kids yet but I think I probably will swear in front of them, as my dad did in front of me. I've grown up to be a big potty mouth like my dad, but I am able to be respectful and mindful about it, just like he is. For example I won't find myself slipping F bombs whilst talking to a client, or in college class etc, but around family and friends I probably say fuck twice in each sentence. At the end of the day they're just words, kids need to learn that, and understand how those words can be used to cause hurt, but on their own are harmless.

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IncompetenceOfMan@reddit

i dont swear in front of my nieces and nephews as theyre not my kids to teach, i dont swear or rather try not to knowingly in front of others. but my views on swearing are that they are just words, the context behind is the pain and power. do you get angry because you kid said "billy at school is a cunt" you probably do but do you get EQUALLY as angry that theyve just called billy a "poopoo head". the point is the insult not the words.

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jasperfilofax@reddit

I start around their last year of primary school so secondary school isn’t too much of a shock to the system, but we’re not a very sweary household

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tranceorange91@reddit

I think as long as the kids know when not to use that sort of language, it's not too bad. But of course it can show aggression, which is less okay... hard to say overall.

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KratosGBR@reddit

Does swearing at my dog count cause he’s a little cunt sometimes and listens when I do swear 😂

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DraconianFury42@reddit

My parents openly swore around and at me from like 7 or 8 (mainly Step Dad) so now I swear just in normal conversation but after being shouted and swore at from a young age I developed crippling anxiety so swings and roundabouts.

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hhfugrr3@reddit

Yes I do. I'm 43.

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JacketPotato-1@reddit

Kids need to learn but having heartless idiots for parents doesn't help.

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Im_Kurious_Oranj@reddit

Swearing is gonna happen, I personally try not to and consider certain words worse than others but they're probably hearing it all in the playground anyway. My kid knows not to swear, she may do it among other kids but she absolutely wouldn't to adults As for the getting hurt thing, my partner and I simply didn't make a fuss when she had a fall or whatever, unless she banged her head or it was a significant tumble Our kid knows how to handle an everyday scraped knee or wasp sting without a big drama Just to be clear we will wash and tend whatever injury, we'll just do it as calmly as we'd clean up a spilt drink

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