How good are you at estimating how much butter you need for your toast?

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Oldenhave@reddit

Under no circumstances is any butter going back in the tub, so what's I got is what's I get!

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Specifically this one https://groceries.asda.com/product/spreadable-butter/golden-cow-100-butter/1000334191616?cmpid=ppc-_-ghs-_--_-google-_--_-dskwid-_dm&s_kwcid=AL!11432!3!!!!x!!&gad_source=1&gclsrc=ds

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GrimQuim@reddit

Alright, yeah I see. I didn't not know that.

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Oldenhave@reddit

Tbf, I used the 'if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck..' approach to 'butter' so I have a butter/spread mix thing, but given half a chance I'd eat sticks of Lurpack for breakfast.

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superjam0508@reddit

Just kidding anyways - I eat Benecol or other similar butter substitutes but I just wanted to be obtuse and find one of the only 100% butters that does come in a tub 😂

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GrimQuim@reddit

tbf, I just spotted my butter - Kerry Gold do a tub, so I am full of shit.

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superjam0508@reddit

Ah I’ve heard good things about Kerry Gold but never tried it myself - how is it? I’m guessing it’s quite buttery butter

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GrimQuim@reddit

It's the absolute tits, it's too buttery to be kept in the fridge so needs to be room temperature. All other butter [I've tried] is dogshit by comparison.

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superjam0508@reddit

I’ll give it a go and if I don’t like it I’m blaming you!

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GrimQuim@reddit

If you don't like it, I'll have it.

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superjam0508@reddit

Hahaha I’ll post it straight to you but might be a bit liquidy when it arrives

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The_Bravinator@reddit

How is it spreadable from the fridge if it's 100% butter??? Sorcery!

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superjam0508@reddit

Golden cow

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GrimQuim@reddit

> Golden cow https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/251906201 This?

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Sweet-Annual-3964@reddit

I use a fuck tonne and it’s usually just about enough.

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BigBunneh@reddit

I use a fuck ton, pound for pound you get a bit more.

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Filthy-lucky-ducky@reddit

I usually use a metric fuck tonne.

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Gullible-Function649@reddit

Came to comment something similar but can’t do better!

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RushExisting@reddit

Mans using metric weights in their correct form - chef

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0Neji@reddit

Yep, this is the same measurement I use for anything needing butter that isn't being baked.

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waste_div@reddit

Finally, the real questions. To minimise crumbs I put each pat of butter on each piece of toast before spreading and to allow it to warm up. I'm normally quite good at getting enough and am not above getting crumbs in my tub if I've fucked it up and need more. What peanut butter do you use?

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Sea-Leave2077@reddit

At the risk of sounding like a snob, if it’s from a tub it’s not butter and I’m not interested. But in answer to your question, I overestimate probably 50% of the time but I’d never put it back, it all goes on in whatever unhealthy proportions it comes

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sortofhappyish@reddit

So if I take the most expensive butter in the world and store it in a tub you're claiming it becomes what? margarine? yellow bathroom sealant? Silly putty?

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Acceptable_Candle580@reddit

The most expensive butter in the world doesnt come in a tub.

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sortofhappyish@reddit

The container doesn't mean the product is worth your time. This applies to butter AND Tinder.

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Acceptable_Candle580@reddit

Im well aware of that. What im pointing out is how irrelevant your comment is.

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Sea-Leave2077@reddit

Sure, if you take what I wrote at its most literal I’m saying it magically transforms when put in a tub. If you have an IQ over 10 you can probably figure out that’s not what I meant

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_TLDR_Swinton@reddit

"Lord Sea Leave, the butter is nearly falling off the knife, you need to put it back in the wrapper, this is madness!" "Neeevvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!"

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SuperTekkers@reddit

Not snobbish at all. Keeping it simple is best, there’s no need to accept even a small blend of margarine in your butter

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_TLDR_Swinton@reddit

I use a separate knife for each sweep of butter. I hate butter contamination. If I could spread butter using a laminar flow hood I would!

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Inevitable_Resolve23@reddit

Ugh, I remember this from living in house-shares. Someone scratches a one molecule thick layer onto their toast (seriously, what's the point?) then scrapes the remains back onto the side of the tub, leaving it there like a beige slug. People are animals.

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Slight-Winner-8597@reddit

Nah see we had to stop doing that, crumbs in the tub introduces mould. Just wipe the excess on a paper towel if you don't want it, unless You've taken a mahoosive amount you don't need to put any back anyway.

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Slight-Winner-8597@reddit

You don't want to open the tub and find green bits in there. Since marg/butter is soft, the mould spreads through into bits you can't see.

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superjam0508@reddit

A beige slug 😭

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Sold-as-part-of@reddit

No matter how much I grab ill always just spread it until Its all used

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bonkerz1888@reddit

One of life's small pleasures is biting into a bit of toast that's slightly dry and crunchy on the outside but you also catch a bit that's dripping in butter as it's melted into the bread, saturating it n' giving it that amazing soft, refreshing texture.

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Slight-Winner-8597@reddit

Gives that salty greasy taste to the mouth that underbuttered toast just can't match 😁

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6-foot-under@reddit

It's like steering a car around a corner: just understeer to begin with. You can't go back if you overdo it.

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kcajjones86@reddit

That's not true. Drift that bitch like a boss!

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CheekyHusky@reddit

Drifting using butter is substantially easier than without.

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raguff@reddit

Exactly, and then if you just happen to grab far too much every time, you get to enjoy well buttered toast. Can’t complain

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Mumfiegirl@reddit

Excellent- there’s no such thing as too much butter

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Emily_Nebula2@reddit

My toast has to be enough toasted so it’s full on drenched.

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Glittering_Good_9345@reddit

1 stick

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YchYFi@reddit

If a using marmite. Then a lot.

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Mfcx6sp4@reddit (OP)

Your user name is how I feel about marmite, but it’s your toast!

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superjam0508@reddit

Marmite, but Pa’ mite not.

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jasilucy@reddit

I just eat the remaining butter off the knife

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sythingtackle@reddit

No, i lick the remainder off the knife

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carlbandit@reddit

I’ve never been disappointed by too much butter so I just grab enough to do 2 slices per piece

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Fandango-5691@reddit

People always ask me "Would you like some more potato with your butter?"🧈🧈🧈🥔

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Lonely-Job484@reddit

I always perfectly estimate the zero butter I use on toast

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Mfcx6sp4@reddit (OP)

Absolute scenes. Do you put anything on your toast?

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Lonely-Job484@reddit

Yeah usually, nothing too crazy I don't think - marmalade or (fried or poached) egg are probably top two picks.

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Organic_Chemist9678@reddit

Egg on toast with no butter sounds like a punishment.

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sortofhappyish@reddit

Its actually in the geneva convention above genocide as a crime against humanity.

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Organic_Chemist9678@reddit

I believe it.

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Lonely-Job484@reddit

you must be overcooking your eggs then. Slice of toast, a fried or poached egg and a short twist on the pepper grinder. Add a black coffee or a glass of water, and job done.

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imminentmailing463@reddit

Nice to see a fellow 'no butter' person. People often genuinely look at me with total incomprehension when I say I don't put butter on things.

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truthtablez1@reddit

Well it is fucking weird. Not normal. Abnormal. Wrong.

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sortofhappyish@reddit

Wait til you find out what /u/imminentmailing463 has for lunch is JUST a block of butter. And nothing else.

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SPUDniiik@reddit

The only topping toast needs is Marmite. No Butter needed.

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GroundbreakingBuy187@reddit

Naked toast tell me more , I want every crumb ........

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LochNessMother@reddit

Over estimate? What’s that? If there’s extra I just even it out over the whole piece for extra buttery goodness.

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Labyrinth2_718@reddit

# "How good are you at estimating how much butter you need for your toast?" # As good as I am at knowing exactly how much calcium my body needs.

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lutralutra_12@reddit

Hardness of butter dictates the spreadingness.

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sortofhappyish@reddit

If I was president of earth there are only a few things I would instigate the death penalty for, and putting crumbs back into the butter ON PURPOSE is one of them.

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Mfcx6sp4@reddit (OP)

Guilty your honour.

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Mocha_Light@reddit

People usually squeeze lemons in their eyes when they get them. I squeeze butter in my eyes

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MTRCNUK@reddit

Butter the toast. Eat the toast. Shit the toast.

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Mfcx6sp4@reddit (OP)

I’ve been patiently waiting for a Peep Show reference, though I though it would be white for dessert.

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D5LLD@reddit

I've started calorie counting so I'm now measuring my butter with scales, it's frightening how much I would normally use and the amount of calories in butter! When I'm cooking though and using a block of butter, I normally get it exactly the right weight for the recipe, same with a block of cheese, it's a hidden talent.

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easterbunni@reddit

I've cut out the butter in order to add a bit more peanut butter to my toast

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D5LLD@reddit

Good idea! I've cut it out in my sandwiches, realised I don't really need it, so I've replaced it for a bit of mayo which is less calories.

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wyflare@reddit

You can't put enough lurpak on toast, especially sourdough toast

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GammaPhonic@reddit

You say that like it’s even possible to have too much.

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Eryeahmaybeok@reddit

Melting butter layer + additional butter layer on top of the melted layer + salt & Pepper

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Jaroojuk@reddit

I do a nice thin slice from the knob if foil wrapped butter, that curls nicely. I then drop it on just toasted bread, let it melt and spread. Nom di didee nom didee nom nom nom

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Altruistic_Tennis893@reddit

I have a theory that the more toast you butter, the more butter you use each time. I swear when I first started buttering toast, many moons ago, I only used a smidgen of butter. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I don't use 2 or 3 knife-fulls.

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sortofhappyish@reddit

use a machete and see if its still 2 or 3 knife fulls.

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PaleAustin@reddit

Judging by the amount of crumbs in the tub I would say I’m not very good! This is going to ruffle a few feathers!

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Mfcx6sp4@reddit (OP)

I put the butter back with crumbs. I’ve never addressed this with my partner, but I’m fairly sure it makes his stomach turn…

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Meowskiiii@reddit

Grounds for divorce that

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sortofhappyish@reddit

Your honor, the deceased put CRUMBS back into the butter, and that is why she had to hack his body apart, and feed him to the crows by coating his body in breadcrumbs. Judge: Case dismissed, you are free to go.

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GroundbreakingBuy187@reddit

If you get enough crumbs in the butter you could just spread a slice of toast ,straight onto a plate . (A scene you'd expect to see on two pints of lager and a packet of crisps)

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MxJamesC@reddit

Always 70% under

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Xanf3rr@reddit

I usually eyeball it, but sometimes end up with extra butter - just scrape it back in.

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parrotandcrow@reddit

Toast is a vessel designed to carry more butter than you think possible.

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EeveeTheFuture@reddit

I go for using small amounts until I have enough. I hate crumbs in the butter. My partner grabs a big knife full and scrapes the unused back in the butter. We buy separate butter

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cyanicpsion@reddit

This is going to sound crazy.... But I've just replaced a dead toaster, with one that toasts bread better. This means the amount of butter needed is pretty constant, rather than the random amount that the badly toasted butter bread ripping toasted one I used to use

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GoatRentalsRUs@reddit

No.. if I estimate too much then I eat that much. Not putting it back in the tub that's disgusting.

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Kwazipig@reddit

I'm no good at it but my wife knows the exact amount of toast to put on the butter.

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geeered@reddit

I don't use it for toast (or eat toast really), but I bought a catering pack of small portions because I suffer with self-control issues when it comes to food, so now I just have one, or two portions, rather than "just a bit more..."

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wildgoldchai@reddit

I double up the butter. Spread some on whilst it’s hot. Then another layer that doesn’t melt. I only have one or two slices but I make sure I do it right

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MarjoryKeek@reddit

I always grossly overestimate and it's always perfect

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Capable_Bee6179@reddit

Need or want? Tbh need never comes into it

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Krafwerker@reddit

There is never butter left over. It’s just an impossibility.

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sominfrog@reddit

Dor real? 🤣🤣🤣 🤦🏻

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Beer-Milkshakes@reddit

I just keep applying until the knife isn't weighted with butter.

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HannaaaLucie@reddit

Very good. I need no butter, and I get exactly no butter on my knife.

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Typical_Arm_8008@reddit

If it’s anything like my dad, he puts toast on his butter.

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Boobs76@reddit

Pretty good, nothing worse than scantily clad butter-less corners on toast 🤪

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Weary-Ad2202@reddit

I always over-butter the corners to compensate for the additional bread/dryness. Sometimes it's the best part due to my methods.

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DiligentCockroach700@reddit

There is no such thing as too much butter on toast.

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MaryPanel@reddit

The only scientific way is to overestimate - then you shall have enough for buttering to the corners

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frusciantefango@reddit

Pretty good, I've been buttering toast regularly for about 37 years. I actually get enraged with my husband (been buttering toast regularly for approx 47 years) as he's so shit at estimating and puts crumby scrapings back. How the hell can you still be bad at this??!

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GroundbreakingBuy187@reddit

Every damn reason to own a butter dish , in lovely crystal cut glass.

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CycloCyanide@reddit

I prefer just a little bit of toast with my butter.

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imminentmailing463@reddit

I get it right 100% of the time. Because the amount I want is: none. And I'm really very good at not accidentally putting butter on.

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GroundbreakingBuy187@reddit

Look toast , you take as God damn much butter as I can force into you . Now then toaster, about all these lovely items you can toast . .. Can I interest you in some toast ? Full of toasty toast goodness.

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Sad_Discount3761@reddit

I actually prefer margarine.

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Mfcx6sp4@reddit (OP)

We had that in the fridge when I was growing up. Butter just hits different for me but then there are other trade offs…

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Sad_Discount3761@reddit

We rarely had real butter. When we'd go out to eat I'd eat the butter packets. My mum said it was embarrassing. I prefer it for baking though.

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gilwendeg@reddit

It’s taken almost 55 years, but damn I’m good at buttering toast now.

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Mfcx6sp4@reddit (OP)

I’d like to be you when I grow up

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Sdimfx@reddit

Roll the dice and hope it's not dripping through too badly

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Euphoric-Ad2110@reddit

Oh no, it’s gotta be dripping..

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Sdimfx@reddit

That's what she said

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Game@reddit

I've have quite a wide permissable amount of butter, from quite a thin amount through to some chunks, so I rarely if ever hit the problem that you describe. That's for butter. If I'm unfortunate enough to be forced to use margarine, then I'm tempted to say I'll put the spare in the bin, where it belongs.

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Knowlesdinho@reddit

If I can taste the toast, I have failed!

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Inevitable_Ad_3359@reddit

I've got to admit I am overestimated every time, but I just make more toast you can't put crumbs back in the butter :0

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JenikaJen@reddit

I just estimate the butter that is going to be left behind.

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GeneralDefenestrates@reddit

Pretty good, i cant stand it so dont use it

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