Is bullying a huge problem at every school or is it worse at Stantonbury?

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Ill-Drink3563@reddit

You're the ghetto here. "Imma fix it myself" "go in guns blazing and get arrested myself" Grow up if that's your attitude, supposed to be setting an example. Phone the police for guidance, make complaints & make noise..

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I am indeed ghetto when I need to be. The difference is I know when to be and how much. I will fix it myself, that is my duty as a parent. If the school fails to do it, then I will. It's quite simple. The police have never helped with anything, and can't rely on them.

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Ill-Drink3563@reddit

And you're a fine example of its not the location that makes a ghetto, it's the people.. bit rich you calling the surrounding estates ghetto isn't it. Grow up, report it to the police. You have that ghetto attitude about the police and it shows, I'd bet you haven't even called them. If he's been assaulted as you say then stantonbury campus is full of cctv cameras.. its your duty to safeguard your child, not physically assault another...

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I never said I'd assault the kid. I said I'd like to (discipline), but as an adult would a child, not the same way I would an adult. I know better than that though, so desire doesn't mean action. Call it what you want, snowflake. And you are wrong. The location makes a ghetto. The location made me ghetto as you call me. I call it my 'ghetto side' which can come out when required. A 'ghetto side' of a person is a hard side, and side which makes us someone who don't take no shit so don't try it. I was forced to develop that side because of the location. And my 'ghetto' was considerably more dangerous than those which surround Stantonbury. They are still ghetto's though. Areas where groups of minority people have been placed, and minority can mean ethnicity or social class. Don't try and teach me about what is or isn't a ghetto and don't try to assume anything about me just from finding out I come from one. Unless you bring it out of me, you'd never know. But test me and see. Fuck around and find out..that's the way it is buddy.

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Ill-Drink3563@reddit

It's funny how these estates never used to be "ghetto", almost like its the people that make it so.... does a place rob and steal? Does a place sell drugs? Does a place assault you? No.. you're being obtuse... You said you'd likely get arrested, adults dont get arrested for disciplining their child.. You called yourself ghetto, and I made the assumption you were ghetto based on your attitude, long before you announce that "I am indeed ghetto"... ![gif](giphy|2XES2Sbh939Hh3NXvz) Grow up dickhead.

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

Either I'm obtuse or you are ignorant. It's gotta be one of them. There is alot to unpack in what you just said: 1. The place vs the people You kinda prove my point with what you just said: the people make it so. Indeed. Exactly. The council put groups of people in certain neighbourhoods..and those places are what the word Ghetto describes. In those ghetto's there are lots of good and decent hard working people, but in those same neighbourhoods are also where the other types of people are housed. The ones who rob and steal and sell drugs etc. Those people are what make ghetto's less desirable places. So you are right, the 'place' doesn't make it a ghetto, the bricks and morter don't sell drugs, very astute of you to notice, but the people who live there do. (None of which disproves my original observation) 2. Arrested for disciplining a child 100% adults get arrested for disciplining a child nowadays. Even parents can be, so if it's someone else's child, you bet you gonna likely get arrested. And again, I said I'd like to, not I will. I would like to grab the boy and pick him up, make him feel like the little boy he is and teach him how it feels to be bullied. I'd like to put the fear of God into him until he leaves me kid alone. I would also love to have a conversation with him to see if i could educate him first, steer him onto the good path, but that would take time and consistency to turn a bad kid around..I don't have that opportunity, so the faster fix would be the former...but again...I'd be arrested. Tempting as it might be. 3. Grow up dickhead. You are not ready for this level of debate. A few more steps up the ego development chart are required I can see. Well done for trying though.

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Ill-Drink3563@reddit

Debate? There's no debate. Your ghetto attitude will rub off on your children and the ghetto attitude will live on... have fun living in your own oppression.

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I just saw your last question. Well, it's both. The location, once it has been selected as a ghetto, and filled with people including those less desirable...the location then makes the ghetto. It makes the ghetto people. Also, the people are what made the location ghetto. This is a 'chicken or the egg' question.

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I find you a little entertaining now, as I watch you descend into petty retorts. > I would love if my children were to inherit the fight in me, it would give them what they need to deal with many types of confrontations. For example, I can deal with you using my brain, intellect, whit, humour, likewise if you were any kind of physical threat I could deal with you using my body. Either way, I won't have you get the upper hand over me. My ghetto side let's me handle threats swiftly because it taught me what happens if I let it go too far. I'm not ashamed of it, like you keep trying to imply it's something to be ashamed of. What it doesn't make me is purely 'ghetto'. I'm not on the corner now, I work, I am a good citizen, I don't bully or attempt to harm innocent people, in fact I would fight those who do. But just as there are people from the ghetto who rise out of the ashes, there are those who always stay in the fire. I really don't know what your argument is at this point. One minute you said there are no ghettos near stantonbury. Then the next you are arguing the 'place' doesn't make the ghetto, the people do, and then you just keep calling me ghetto. What are we even discussing at this point? You need a cup of tea or something?

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Ill-Drink3563@reddit

You're reading comprehension must be shit mate, and you contradict pretty much every argument you make.

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Ghedd@reddit

I think an important question is: what would you like the school to do? If there’s been name-calling, then it’s common to talk with the pupils involved. There might be detentions if there is decent evidence. Beyond that? There’s very little a school can do to make a child better liked or less-susceptible to bullying.

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

So far he has been drop kicked. He has been pushed to the ground in class and has had someone pick up a chair and hit him in the head with it. He has also been called a Spic. All this, because he did a funny Mario voice in class one day, and some little Italian girl decided to say she was offended, then they class started calling him racist (even though he is Latino) and then some other kid changed it and started telling people he had called someone the N word, and the whole fucking school believed it and has turned on him. My older son, his brother, is black. His grandad is black, his other is mixed, so his parents are mixed, his uncles are black. He is latino/mixed, but looks white. It's the most ridiculous rumour ever, considering the above, and now he is being physically assaulted for it. He only started at the school 2 weeks ago and was excited to go. I tried to tell the school this is gonna snowball if they don't do something about it, they ignored me.

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Legitimate-Monk9298@reddit

Thats cold! I'm Hispanic French Moroccan/Egyptian with roots in a few other African other countries with more so bronze complexion. It gets political with some 😆 too white to be black yet to tanned to be white. I went to a school with one black kid and the school was next to a traveler site, making up a large percentage of the kids. I've heard it all! One of them shot me in the head with a catapult 😆 they were savage days

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

Right, I'm likely similar in complexion to you. I'm Hispanic (Latin American) mixed with bits of other nationalities, my wife is Mixed with black and white, but her dad is light and so she came out looking more white. Me and her have both suffered the too light/too dark racism. The racism spit roast if you will. My eldest son just looks black. My 12 year old doesn't but all his family, his uncles, everyone is non white. He is the last person who would be racist, but some stupid kid said it, it spread like a virus, and now everyone is running with it. It's crazy.

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gingivii@reddit

Ur on reddit crying about ur kid being bullied u don't sound very ghetto lmao grow up

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Fair_Future7245@reddit

I went to Stantonbury and had a terrible time in my early year with bullying. I try to forget about it. At first the teachers got Year 10s to sort it out and they told me that I was petty. 😅

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Legitimate-Monk9298@reddit

My friends dad a Jamaican man, used to get attacked by skin heads back in the day. One day they beat him really bad.. He swore he would never let anyone bully him again. He dedicated himself to training taekwondo, he never got harmed again! He trained my teachers... One of my nephews was getting bullied really badly, his step-dad trained him in kickboxing.. He was so humble he didn't want to use it until the kid went to punch him up... Quick combo put the kid down, got suspended for two days came back and was the school hero! Personally I trained taekwondo/Krav maga I would highly recommend Krav maga! It builds confidence quick time... is a 360 degree system and there are schools in MK In essence bullys need be humbled.. being known as a grass could really make things worse

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DiamondBikini@reddit

A couple of my friends kids do Jiu Jitsu. There’s a great club in Kingston. It gives them so much confidence and a great community. It’s not a quick fix but it’s a start.

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Legitimate-Monk9298@reddit

Jiu Jitsu takes the longest. Can be two years to get a blue belt.. Alot of kids get bored with the time it takes to progress. Krav maga is fast and affective, ire designed to be picked up quickly whole communities were taught it. Having trained multiple martial arts. This is a complete system

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I'm gonna find the local club and get him in.

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Legitimate-Monk9298@reddit

There is one in Shenley KMDT and also total dojo most offer free tester class

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I have thought about this. It just feels like a fix that will take a long time, and I really want to dead this quick. But, indeed, training is going to have to happen for future occasions.

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Legitimate-Monk9298@reddit

I think you would be surprised. Krav maga is designed on natural instinct. He will make friends unfuckwithable friends in the process. They throw a punch simple maneuver bicep gets detached nobody wants that.. The harder they come the worse it gets

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Bob_Fred_88@reddit

If you consider Stantonbury, Great Linford and Oakridge Park ghettos you really need to get some life experience, and you wouldn’t last a week on an actual ghetto like Netherfield. Teens are trying to figure out social skills, raging with hormones, and most even in private schools will experience a problem like this at some point in secondary. You should contact and try to work with the pastoral team, I’ve found them to be responsive and helpful. Don’t go gung go cause by the sounds of you the other dad will just batter you anyway 🤦‍♀️

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Legitimate-Monk9298@reddit

I think your confusing your peronal perception with the literal definition of a ghetto. Jsut to be clear "A poor urban area occupied primarily by a minority group or groups."

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

Thank you.

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

Lol at me getting battered. I'd be up for seeing that though. Lol at you for suggesting it when I am just concerned about protecting my child. And yes, ghetto means an area where a certain demographic of people are placed. Council estates as an example are where lower income and state funded social groups live. There are a bunch of council estates including Bradville and Conniburrow surrounding Stantonbury.

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Bob_Fred_88@reddit

Have a word with yourself, there’s 3 dodgy streets in Bradville and Heelands inbetween conniburrow and Stantonbury, you’re just pearl clutching now. And if you think going and shouting the odds at another family is protecting your child you need to grow up a bit. Personally I’d be at school with mine this morning making sure it got sorted if I wasn’t happy with their response so far.

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Clivewilliams@reddit

It's not an unusual thing to hear about Stantonbury school, but it's a feature of the school, not the area. Complain to the school using the school complaints procedure, about your specific case and the people involved, rather than about general bullying. When (as they surely will) the school ignore it, or try to push it under the carpet, complain to Ofsted. Say you followed the schools complaint procedures, that the school haven't resolved it and your child is unsafe. If you can get other similarly affected parents to do likewise with their own children at the same time, all the better. I'm afraid other schools in the area are quite similar though. Moving them to Radcliffe or similar is unlikely to help. Ousedale may be better (they certainly used to be well run, then their head left, so I don't know what they're like now); St Pauls (catchment area is all Milton Keynes) is certainly better, but by no means free of discipline issues.

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I wondered this myself, if it's a feature if the school or the area, but then it's not clear, because the two schools in the city with requires improvement ratings are the two schools with council estates around them. It kinda makes it look like the area plays a role and how can it not? We are following the school procedures, but also thinking about moving his school, but there is no point if this type of issue is just the same everywhere.

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TerrifiedRedneck@reddit

Is this the same kid that was excited about going to Stantonbury two weeks ago? Or is this another kid that, despite being relentlessly bullied, their sibling wants to go to Stantonbury? Also… Surounded by Ghettos! Really?

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

Same kid. A lot can happen in 2 weeks. Now I'm annoyed for not following my instincts. And yeah, I meant what I said. You know what type of neighbourhoods I grew up in? Council estates/lower income/public housing...and you know what I know about those neighbourhoods? Everything. All the good and all the bad. I know how many real, down to earth, hard working folk live in the hood, and I know about the ones who don't care about nothing, and those people also have kids, and those kids go to the local school, and those local schools are often not great. Look at the only 2 schools in MK with 'requires improvement' ofsted reports and then look at the neighbourhoods surrounding them. I could be wrong, which is what led me to ask this question. The mentality it seems by how the kids have tried to test the new arrival is more like Jail than school, Then a new 'fish' comes on the block. Since this started I have been in touch with the school. I told them how this is gonna snowball of they don't intervene. And here we are, snowball.

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TerrifiedRedneck@reddit

I’m sorry your lad is being bullied. It sucks beyond all reason to be bullied at school and I’d be reacting the same way if it was one of my kids. I also grew up in areas that we strived to simply be poor so I know what a real ghetto feels like and as shitty as bits of Stantonbury are, ghetto ain’t it. That said, and I know it’s little to no consolation, these things happen just as bad and worse in the “good” schools in the city. I’ve seen it first hand and it’s fucking brutal. To the real issue, if you have evidence of the bullying, and it’s as bad as you say, get the police involved. Whatever the school says, the police will force them to take action. Personally, I would also be teaching (and I do) my kids to make sure they get the last word. If, as you say, all avenues have been tried with no movement, it’s time for your child to sort the bully out themselves. Shitty? Not the greatest solution? Probably. But needs must. Alternatively, start the process of moving schools. But in this shitty digital world we now live I , it’s unlikely to just stop.

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

I agree with all you have said. I appreciate your words. And yes, I will be following those steps.

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TerrifiedRedneck@reddit

Hope things improve mate.

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RICHTEA420@reddit

Stantonbury campus is just a shit school in general. When i went there the school did practically nothing to stop bullying and some teachers would literally egg on the bullys and protect them from any consequences (this is what happened with my sister to the point she had to leave)

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SYGemini@reddit

Sorry to hear about your son OP. In my opinion, schools only deal with bullying when the police are called

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TreKeyz@reddit (OP)

Ok, so I either call the police or I go in guns blazing and get arrested myself....I know which one I'd rather do!

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Legitimate-Monk9298@reddit

Just hope they its not the somalis, they come in numbers.

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bennymk@reddit

Definitely not true

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RS_88L@reddit

Getting parents involved usually makes it worst

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richboyadler@reddit

heard of a school called sir herbert leon ? it’s way worse there. when i was there they generally do not care if someone is bullied and side with the bullies.

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Noiisy@reddit

That schools gone downhill big time

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AloysiusRevisited@reddit

The joke my kids used to make about Stantonbury is that all kids have to walk through a metal detector before entering the school ... ... to make sure they are properly armed.

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