How does “Midwest/south/rural slower pace” actually work?
Posted by larch303@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 70 comments
In my experience, if you gotta be somewhere by a certain time, you gotta be there, whether that’s Connecticut, Iowa, South Carolina or Manhattan.
If you’re m a trucker and you got something due in Atlanta at 11 AM and you woke up at 8 AM, most companies don’t care about “Georgia outside of Atlanta is slower paced”, you gotta get your ass through the rural GA truck stop, get your coffee, get your pizza, get the hell outta there to do your pre trip and get on moving
Same if you gotta be at work at a certain time. Southern and midwestern workplace usually aren’t like “oh you stopped at the gas station and talked for a while? It’s ok you’re late then”
ChirrBirry@reddit
In this rural part of Arkansas that usually means people don’t have huge demands on their time and so go through their day with a lower tempo; as in, driving a little slower and jamming to music because there’s no traffic, sitting on the patio with a few beers after work instead of going to a noisy bar, etc.
But it has a flip side where rushing people is rude even if it’s well deserved. If the checkout person at a store is struggling with a new payment system…you’re expected to be patient rather than getting cranky. If a mechanic was supposed to have your car done by Tuesday and it still isn’t done by Friday, might want to find a new mechanic rather than tell his ass to “get on it already”. Depending on the size of the town, you can earn a reputation for being an asshole for expecting people to move or work quickly.
SevereAnimator5@reddit
And we charge the a holes more 😂
shelwood46@reddit
Can you be more specific? Because I grew up in WI and there was definitely no tolerance for lateness or a slower pace. Socially you might chat a bit longer than you wanted, or take a bit to leave a party, but showing up late for work because you were chatting was extremely not a thing.
SonuvaGunderson@reddit
Let me give you a great example as a New England transplant in South Carolina…
I’m checking out at the supermarket. The cashier is super nice and chatty. I’m in a good mood and I’m American so I’m more than happy to engage back.
She’s scanning and chatting. Scanning and chatting. She finished. I pay. But she keeps chatting. Now, where I’m from, this is my cue to leave. But she keeps going. Then the person behind me, instead of being annoyed, joins in with their two cents. Now three of us are just having a conversation and no one is in a huge rush.
That’s how the slower pace down south works.
SonOfMotherlesssGoat@reddit
I see it a lot as in NYC if you leave an inch someone will push in and take it. In the south someone will pause to let you go by (driving walking etc). It’s more hustle and bustle than worrying about timelines.
Stan_Deviant@reddit
You are confused about what pace means.
I need to be at work in 30 minutes. It takes 15 minutes to get there. I leave at 30 minutes in advance because you might get stopped by a moose.
Everything take longer. Nothing is ordered "same day" or "next day" online. You have to include that in your plans. Slower pace.
sarcasticorange@reddit
For extreme rural, I would agree.
For people in the other areas that fall within OP's description, it can be the opposite.
In a major city, it can take anywhere from 5 to 60 minutes to get to the store that is 3 miles away. For those living in and around small towns, it takes 5 minutes pretty much all the time. In a city, you might be in a line when you get there but no line in the less dense areas.
It takes me 15 minutes to get through the DMV but people in larger cities in the same state have to make appointments and still wait hours.
No same day deliveries, but plenty of next and two-day deliveries.
When I lived in a larger city, it felt like I was constantly rushing to wait in the next line and a significant portion of my free time was spent waiting for others. Now it feels like I have so much more time and that time is more flexible. I can drive places at 5:30p without a thought of getting stuck in a traffic jam.
So, to me, slower pace means I don't have to rush because I'm on my own schedule and have more free time.
Stan_Deviant@reddit
Yeah, our DMV is co located with the old flower shop and the u haul rental place.
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
Where is this?
Stan_Deviant@reddit
Northern Minnesota.
Stan_Deviant@reddit
*but we show up on time and then we hustle (northern Midwest).
LunaD0g273@reddit
It is less about punctuality and more about expectations of efficiency. A good example is expectations around small talk. In the South there may be a social expectation to exchange pleasantries with the bank teller or be acceptable to spend 30 seconds chatting with the person at the counter at a bakery. In NYC both I and everyone else in line will be furiously judging you for wasting our time when we want to make our purchase and get on with our day.
To some degree this can translate into other areas of life. For example, expectations of turnaround times for professional services (although at the higher end I’m not sure if NYC biglaw is more intense than other major markets).
larch303@reddit (OP)
OK, but let’s say I’m taking thousands of bottles of Coca-Cola from Atlanta to the distribution center near Myrtle Beach
A wave of tiredness hits me like a freight train somewhere on I 20 and I need to get something fast
I have two hours and 27 minutes to go and I’m due at the distribution center in two hours and 40 minutes
That shit doesn’t change because I’m in rural South Carolina now so it’s kind of a dick move for the cashier to do me like that lol
I’m not absolved of not needing to be efficient because I’m not in New York City
Alternative-Pear9096@reddit
You're really obsessed with the trucking example. Please go through and read the responses and learn from them. Slower pace doesn't have anything to do with what you're clutching on.
But also, on what planet do you think a 2000 mile delivery schedule goes haywire over a 10 minute delay? Live in reality.
larch303@reddit (OP)
It does though,
Also, Tom, the tow truck driver, and Sarah who’s on our lunch break are in the same situation
Fast paced is caused because someone has to be somewhere in a short amount of time. That shit happens all over. Anywhere you have to be somewhere at a certain time, if you slip, you’re rushing.
TheBimpo@reddit
Yeah, it's the same in the midwest/south/rural. Your examples and definitions aren't good ones.
Alternative-Pear9096@reddit
yeah, no, it doesn't. I can't tell you how much time my long haul trucking friend spends idling waiting for Tom and Sue who are late, all over the damn country.
Truck load and load times are not pathological. It's not a freaking doctor's office where you lose your spot if you don't show up 10 minutes early. Logistics really don't work that way.
And again, no. you're understanding is wrong. But your comments here show your question isn;t one in good intent but is some sort of stupid close-minded and wrong pointmaking. /mods, this one isn't in good faith.
FoggyGoodwin@reddit
You just described a single personal problem of being a trucker - not having the energy to complete a run sounds like poor planning. It has nothing to do w how th clerks treat you when you are in a hurry, delaying you when your poor planning hurts.
TheBimpo@reddit
What a bizarre example. Late is late, everywhere.
No-Agent5480@reddit
I think you're assuming that "slower pace" means never having to rush, versus having fewer situations where you feel the need to rush. Truckers in the South still need to be on time and will sometimes have to bust ass to do so, but then they might spend their off time doing chill stuff with no time frame instead of packing it with scheduled activities. Then because their neighbors are also spending their off time doing chill stuff, they have time to chat at the gas station or take their time walking around downtown and no one (or fewer people) are irritated with them for wasting their time.
Sl1z@reddit
There are some jobs where punctuality is important regardless of a slower paced lifestyle. When people mention a slower pace, they’re talking about casual day to day stuff, not their job as a trucker.
The trucker from rural south Carolina might leave early enough that they have time to make stops and rest though, rather than waiting to til the last minute to leave.
Tweedledownt@reddit
It doesn't mean missing deadlines, or being late. It means not jumping to attention or burning out because of things without deadlines.
larch303@reddit (OP)
I mean the reason I’m rushing is usually cause I gotta be somewhere at a certain time
Semirhage527@reddit
You wouldn’t be rushing if you left earlier 🤷🏼♀️
larch303@reddit (OP)
Yeah but who’s gonna do that? 😂
Especially if things are more relaxed
TheBimpo@reddit
What does that even mean?
No, being late isn't ok in the Midwest. Being late is rude anywhere, it means you don't value the time of others. Midwesterners don't do that.
The "pace" is different because there's less to worry about. You don't have a dinner reservation because there is no place that takes reservations.
larch303@reddit (OP)
Fast pace is usually cause you’re trying to be on time to something
TheBimpo@reddit
If that's your definition of "pace", then folks in the rural Midwest also are at a fast pace. We're not late for work or school or appointments and it's not simply ok to be late because we stopped at the Grange Hall or whatever. Being on time matters, a lot.
Signed, a rural Midwesterner.
Tweedledownt@reddit
People in the Midwest do.
Classic-Push1323@reddit
You’re rushing because you didn’t leave yourself enough time to get there.
Tweedledownt@reddit
But there are like, no lines anywhere and pretty much no traffic. Pretty much zero public transportation so you aren't jumping for a bus schedule.
Really the worst thing you could do is rush so much you forget something at home and you need to drive for an extra hour that day to go back and get it.
Lower-Landscape2056@reddit
Trucker is a bad example. But some jobs I think there is a difference - getting out of the NE and not having the expectation of working 60 hour weeks allows you to be more chill and slow.
DoublePostedBroski@reddit
Midwest isn’t really “slower paced”
notaskindoctor@reddit
Right, Chicago, Minneapolis, Kansas City, Omaha, and others are all pretty large normal metro areas with normal expectations for timeliness and time management.
cranberry_spike@reddit
Yeah I'm kind of at a loss for what this person means. I might find Madison slower (and harder to navigate) than Chicago, but it's not slow paced either.
procrasstinating@reddit
How many of the things you “HAVE to do” are actually required to be done?
If the sun doesn’t revolve around you there are many things that would be nice to do, but the world won’t end if it happens later.
airynothing1@reddit
“Slow-paced” in this context is more about lifestyle as a whole. People take longer to get onto new trends, they talk slower, they’re less driven by things like career advancement. In rural areas they even tend to drive slower. Not universally true obviously but that’s what people mean when they say that, not that expectations about work are looser or whatever.
Idoe6@reddit
I'd agree with all of that, with slight caveat; if we're talking back roads, yeah, you'd be stupid to risk a deer collision or blind curve collision. But country folk looove to gun it on a long straight road if they can find it.
SaneSociopathPolitic@reddit
You also don't want to be gunning it on a gravel road or los quality one even if it's straight if you find one way out in the rural areas.
Also our speed limits are higher and closer to the limit you'd want to regularly drive on it so you don't get the cultural effect people have on the east coast of "im already speeding anyway, might as well go all the way"
CommanderKrieger@reddit
It doesn’t work like that. We still do our best like everyone else to be on time. Traffic, construction, and weather are all things we still deal with just like everyone else. Nobody actually tries to use an excuse like “Georgia outside of Atlanta is slower paced” as an actual reason for being late. At least nobody with a higher than room temp IQ.
The slower pace thing is more in terms of after work or weekend timeframes. You may stop in at a diner on your way home from work and talk with some old man for an hour and a half and y’know what? That’s just fine provided you’re not holding other people up that you may have made plans with already. But if you try and do that before work and end up an hour late? Absolutely not. You’ll still get fired just like everyone else.
This honestly feels like one of those misconceptions that people outside of rural areas have, with their entire understanding of how rural areas and people work coming from sources like Forest Gump and Duck Dynasty.
savguy6@reddit
It’s not about the obligations you have that require you to be somewhere at a certain time. Those are still obligations in the south just as anywhere else.
The difference is the things we choose to do that don’t have a set timeline.
*“Hey, we’re cooking out this Saturday, you want to bring the family over?”
“Sure what time?”
“Doesn’t matter, whenever.”*
Or
*“Hey, we’re taking the boat out tomorrow, wanna come?”
“Sure, where are we going?”
“Don’t know, we’ll just see where the tide takes us”.*
It’s less about punctuality to obligations versus living a lifestyle where a lot of the things you choose to do aren’t time sensitive.
Adjective-Noun123456@reddit
That's actually exactly how it works.
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
So what about the coworker you fuck over because you weren't there at the right time?
Semirhage527@reddit
Not all jobs create that situation FWIW. I haven’t worked a job where I’m directly impacted by others being out or late since I left retail
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
My husband is a VP for a company. He would never be late because the company has set hours and people expect him to be there, ready for work.
You aren't late for meetings because people time is valuable and you don't wanna fuck with other people schedule.
ChirrBirry@reddit
The situation people are describing isn’t the “VP of a company” type role. In many situations you’ve grown up with your coworkers or some might even be relatives, you can trade being 5 mins late by letting them cut out 5 mins early and everyone is happy.
Semirhage527@reddit
Happy for your husband and have no idea what any of that has to do with my comment.
Not all jobs create a dependency on coworkers like that.
Not all people who work go to meetings. People can also operate at a slower pace and be on time to a meeting lol. I meet with clients, not coworkers, but I set the schedule so make the choice when to start and end my day.
Adjective-Noun123456@reddit
He was late yesterday.
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
Lol. I guess if people were always late, Id stop taking it seriously, too
Adjective-Noun123456@reddit
Yeah, it all depends on the vibe and the actual start time for the workplace.
There's 2 of us, plus the boss. He's administration, so he can basically come in whenever as long as it's before his first meeting.
The guy coming in at 7:30 really doesn't have any work until roughly 7:45ish when students and parents start arriving. So realistically he just has to be there by 7:50. The guy coming in at 9 is way more flexible.
So we alternate who gets the early shift.
Pemminpro@reddit
Its a life style choice(s) that involves preplanning to not to be in a hurry, enjoying the peace of a slower pace, and avoiding burn out. It isnt an excuse to not meet your obligations.
In the trucking example you provided you wake up at 7 instead of 8 then take your time with your personal conveyance activities before your trip.
Bluemonogi@reddit
I think slower paced does not mean people are not punctual. My family in Iowa would be early to everything.
In terms of travel, I would say there is less traffic to contend with. Maybe there is more patience overall. People are used to driving farther to get to everything when you are in a rural area. You would factor that in.
Maybe there is more focus on home and family. Rural areas often have a population with a lot of older people and families.
Things don’t change as quickly in small towns and rural areas.
Potential-Use-1565@reddit
I've been yelled at for being 3 minutes late to a line cook job
ndubitably@reddit
It's still mostly true that you're expected to be somewhere at a given time. The exceptions being when a heavy rain comes through and floods half the roads because there just isn't much you can do about it but wait.
Alternative-Pear9096@reddit
This drove me absolutely around the bend in NC. And where I lived, you stood a decent chance of there being a happy gator lounging in the flood puddle, so you really couldn't just decide to drive through it.
elucify@reddit
There was a study years ago where they measured how long it took people to start honking after a stop light changed from red to green. In New York City, they started honking before the light even changed. In Indianapolis, people waited through an entire cycle before starting to honk.
Alternative-Pear9096@reddit
I honked at someone here in cornfield, IL (less than an hour from Indy) when the second car to the right and the third car to the left had passed and the car in front of me still had foot on the brake.
At a "slower pace" you sure as shit still need to be paying attention and noticing when the cars around you start motion.
I would be *living* on my horn if I lost an entire cycle of the light to some jackass playing candy crush instead of paying attention. That's intolerable.
Alternative-Pear9096@reddit
I think it means being less hectic, less over-scheduled, taking time to contemplate. The speed of speech is slower. And sweet baby petunias, the pace of driving in is slower!! (infuriating for city folks...).
And by being less hectic, folks are usually not late, so when the overscheduled hectic person races in late, it's not just accepted and shrugged off. It is *noticed.*
Outrageous-Pin-4664@reddit
I mean, you could always leave early so you don't have to rush.
Granted, that's not what everyone around here does. We do still have idiots trying to pass in no passing zones because they didn't allow themselves enough time to get where they're going while traveling a mere five miles over the speed limit.
We get a lot of transplants here, though, so I don't know if those are true southerners or just people who haven't been here long enough to absorb the vibe.
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
Midwestern is slower pace.
But the South truly does have a different idea about hustling.
When I took my elderly dad to get ice cream (in the South) we were standing at the counter and 2 employees were chatting about non-work stuff. I though maybe they were waiting for us to say something in case we were deciding.
(As an ex waitress who is always super nice to anyone doing something for me like waiting on me) I said "Hi, I think we've decided" just trying to make it so my dad didn't have to stand much longer.
The response was a grumble loud enough for us to hear "Fucking yankees".
We expect much faster service and greeting a customer with "I'll be right with you" would be the norm, before they wrapped up the convo. But even staying in a personal convo would be weird while someone was waiting.
KlutzyHandle672@reddit
Live in the south and have never experienced that aggressiveness. Hopefully it’s just anecdotal. But again, never heard someone get cursed out for ordering. Nothing to do with pace of life.
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
Yankees absolutely have a way different expectation in speed of service, especially when it comes to food service.
And I'm not saying it's right. And I know enough waitstaff in the South that don't enjoy it at all.
And I hadn't ordered. I was just interrupting their convo.
ThatsNotGumbo@reddit
Lived in the south my whole life - the fact they didn’t give you a big warm greeting before finishing up their conversation is weird. But expecting people to just kind of loaf around while you socialize isn’t weird.
Snezzy_9245@reddit
Some cities (I'm thinking of you, NYC and Boston) are such a pain that no matter how soon you start you still feel rushed. More rural places seem slower, or at least more relaxed, so you don't have all your spare time eaten up by other folks' bad driving.
Rhomya@reddit
…. Who told you that being late wasn’t a thing? It definitely still is.
People who like living in cities live there generally because there’s more things to do— more concerts, more shops, more attractions, etc etc. They spend their leisure time doing those things because that’s what they enjoy.
People that live in rural areas like living here because there’s less PEOPLE. They don’t have those extra attractions, and so they spend their time doing their own things— such as getting coffee at the gas station with their friends, or in my case, just enjoying quiet time outside.
We still have deadlines and things to do when working— truckers absolutely have timelines to meet, and we have to be at work on time.
No-Agent5480@reddit
It's not so much about whether you're getting places on time so much as how many places you are willing to have to be in one day/week/month. If you book yourself back to back to back with no buffer, you're going to feel like you have to be as efficient as possible to make it all work. If you build in leisure time, things will feel "slower" because you have come cushion and you have periods of your day/week where you can move as fast or slow as you want to.
Mountain-Lychee4359@reddit
I haven't had that experience in the midwest, but in the pacific northwest and the west in general people are more relaxed about time.
albertnormandy@reddit
It's not about punctuality, it's the idea that a person's life is not dominated by working. There is a stereotype that people in suburbs and cities live to work where people in rural areas work to live, even if it means they have less disposable income. Having grown up in rural places, where there is smoke there is fire. The stereotype is dying out with rural America unfortunately. Soon we'll all be wage slaves to MegaCorp, live in plastic houses in manicured 1/8 acre lots with abstract names like "Jaclynn's Ridge", and watch Netflix in our two hours of free time. We'll own nothing and like it.
danhm@reddit
Clashes between 'monochromatic' and 'polychronic' time are an issue the world around, and there's no real answer to which is right. That trucker might get fired or their boss might just accept it as what it is.
2_minutes_hate@reddit
Yeah, I'm late, but I'm still employed.