Who's the most stupid person you know?

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Ambivalent-Axolotl@reddit

Every grown adult I've lived with who says "I don't see dirt".

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MortimerMan2@reddit

Some of the mistakes I make when not thinking /busy, it's probably me

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The new company boss, who during the tea and biscuits phase of a company briefing, interrupted my own conversation with my immediate boss, and started to rant about our consultant working up in Manchester who was "taking the piss" and earning 50% of his salary again in bonuses, due to the amount of time he was working on customer site.

My boss pointed out that the contracts required us to work away from home for a minimum of 3 days (4 nights) a week, with bonuses paid if this was exceeded; the consultant was working 5 days a week at the request of the customer; that the bonus, while large, was still less than we were invoicing the customer, so the company was still earning thousands; and that the customer was perfectly happy with the consultant.

"I don't ####ing care. We're not paying him that bonus any more. Look into how we can change his contract."

At which point my boss said, "Oh by the way this is [RetiredFromIT]. I don't think you've met yet, because he's spent an extended time working up in Manchester for us."

A year later, when I left, the contract and bonus hadn't changed

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lozz79@reddit

I know a lad who asked what 'liability' meant, as his boss kept calling him one and he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.

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RetiredFromIT@reddit

Tell him it's a good thing, and at his next work appraisal, to say he planned to be a bigger liability than ever.

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Beautiful_Rough_6867@reddit

My brothers ex gf who at about age 25 asked of dragons were real.

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ThePeake@reddit

1) Komodo dragons do exist.

2) I would be utterly unsurprised if there was a medium somewhere peddling their services under the name Claire Voyant.

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RetiredFromIT@reddit

Here you are...

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DarthScabies@reddit

Seems like most people at airports the last few times I've flown. Behaving like it's their first day on earth.

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Cultural-Elk-8346@reddit

No joke, I just got back from holiday Wednesday. A woman, when signaled to walk through the metal detector, walked AROUND it

They sent her back round to do it again, and she responded 'oh'. It didn't even beep at her! So she wasn't hiding anything. I cannot grasp in what circumstance she thought that was the correct thing to do.

I was so flabbergasted I didn't tell my mates until a few minutes later, when I processed what happened

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DarthScabies@reddit

Thank you for making me lol after a shitty week. 😂😂😂

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Speedbird223@reddit

I’ve travelled a pretty decent amount for the last 20yrs or so and on a frequent flyer forum I use someone asked what the most annoying thing people do at airports is.

I got to more than 100 things before realising I shouldn’t post and I’m a pretty zen person when travelling. The flying public are absolute weapons.

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CharlemagneKidding@reddit

Never met him, but even conceptually, a man city fan must be the stupidest person on earth

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WALL-G@reddit

Probably my neighbours? Recently they left their food bin in the driveway and ran it over for 3 days.

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Horror_Reader1973@reddit

My ex husband. Ran off with a Thai prostitute and now sends her all his money. He is a 53 year old fat bald man.

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Novel-Case6821@reddit

Someone I worked with asked if Kong Kong was based on real events (she meant the empire state building scene).

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beefboxer84@reddit

A ex partner was very uneducated and had some fantastic quotes:
Where’s the sun on earth.
Doesn’t know the difference between capitals and lower case letters.
How can it be day time here but night time in other places

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_Cridders_@reddit

At school in music, to learn timing in music class, we had to make something up clapping with the syllables of football teams, like 👏Leeds👏U👏ni👏ted etc

He couldn't manage it, so we gave him just Leeds, after already being told 2 syllables minimum.

He couldn't even do that, he'd either clap then say Leeds, or say Leeds then clap, but never at the same time, but what killed me is he did a cocky little head roll as if he'd nailed it every time. No matter how much demonstration, he just said, "Yeah that's what I'm doing", whilst failing every time.

Still makes me giggle every time I see "Leeds" anywhere

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SocieteRoyale@reddit

There is a guy at work who is so unbelievably stupid I am amazed he has a job still. And considering the job we work is social care I am surprised he hasn't been fired yet or something terrible has happened to the people we support

He somehow manages to smash most of the plates singlehandedly, has burned all of the pans, is seemingly unable to wash up, I find items in the cupboard with foodstains/mould growing on it, has managed to get bleach stains on all the teatowels and towels since he just puts bleach straight into the washing machine when he does a wash. Also talking about bleach he just pours bleach onto the floor and calls it mopping up....

Same person has damaged the car since he is unable to locate the button on the boot to open it and literally just tried to brute force it...

Oh and snapped the Christmas tree in half since he didn't know how to take it apart.... we have to buy a new one every year prett much

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boringfantasy@reddit

Those tourists in London who seem to randomly stop in the middle of a busy walk way wearing those giant backpacks for no reason whatsoever

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Barnagain@reddit

Definitely, me

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juststuartwilliam@reddit

A friend was coming round for food once, I asked him to pick up a tin of tomatoes en route. He arrived with a tin of Heinz tomato soup because apparently he "stopped reading after tomato".

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Zealousideal_Pop3121@reddit

My besties ex husband. I’m so glad he’s now her ex husband. I hate him. I don’t hate him because he’s stupid. I hate him because he’s a lazy horrible arsehole. I do wonder though if he’d be less of a wanker if he was more intelligent,

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prustage@reddit

Went to a pub in Kensington once. It looked like a traditional pub from the outside but inside it had a sort of youfy cocktail vibe about it.

I only had a few minutes so I asked for a half of lager. The barman stared blankly and asked me to repeat what I'd said. I did and, in fact, had to go on and explain what a "half of lager" actually was. He thought for a moment, went in the back to ask someone something then finally emerged with the drink.

It was a pint glass - but only half full.

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Key-Original-225@reddit

Once worked with a guy who while he was a whizz with car maintenance and could take apart an engine and rebuild it (and have it still work afterwards) was easily the most uneducated person I’d ever met.

He thought the sun was closer than the moon and that was why it was colder at night.

He asked when the elections to change the Queen happen.

He thought (and wouldn’t be convinced otherwise) that dinosaurs existed around 4-5000 years ago.

He was also a conspiracy theory nutter, banged on and on about them, constantly stating such things as “gravity doesn’t exist and we stay on the planet because we are heavy” and “the pyramids were built by aliens and have antennas inside to constantly transmit radio waves back to them”.

When I met him he was in his late 40s and I’m honestly surprised he managed to live that long.

He got sacked for pissing in the staff room sink.

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soverytiiiired@reddit

Once heard someone say “It’s amazing that ancient artists like Van Gogh were able to paint such colourful paintings when the world was in black and white back then”

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DogtasticLife@reddit

We had an apprentice once (nickname Floppy) whose job it was to make the teas & coffees for about 10 of us. He could never get it right so he resorted to making 10 cups of half coffee half tea with milk and one sugar. He did not last long.

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ddttm@reddit

Reminds me of our old apprentice, he made a shitload of tea in the washing up bowl and was dipping our cups in to fill them - he’d seen it done in a video on facebook or somewhere. He also used to be at site an hour or more before anyone else, just waiting, sitting on the heras fence foot, he lived walking distance away.

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hunsnet457@reddit

Used to live with someone who had a pretty prestigious job who didn’t know anything other than that job. He’d always had people around him to pick up after him then went straight into a well paid job where he could pay someone to do it, so he just never learned to do anything himself.

He didn’t know how to wash his own clothes so he’d just buy new clothes every week. Didn’t know how to set up his own bills so he’d just wait for debt collectors to call and pay them instead. One time he rung his EA because ‘the TV wasn’t working’ - The batteries in the remote had run out.

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One_Philosophy_6591@reddit

A cousin of mine. She's genuinely a lovely person, very kind and caring but she has no education whatsoever. She's difficult to have a conversation with as she doesn't know anything of the outside world, or events.

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Sgt_major_dodgy@reddit

My fiance has a mate called Beth who is as thick as pig shit.

She thought the moon and sun were the same thing and she was about 30 when she said it? She's also basically illiterate, has dyslexia but also didn't get any sort of support in school as they just thought she was thick so was just left to fend for herself.

Her mum and dad were also addicts who died when she was fairly young so she didn't have any support at home either.

However she's genuinely a lovely person, a really good mum to her kids and would do anything for anyone if they asked.

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explosivethinking@reddit

I mean, that just sounds real sad. Beth sounds like she has done super well to overcome the odds tbh mate 🤷‍♂️

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Sgt_major_dodgy@reddit

She really has to be fair and the odds were definitely stacked against her.

There's plenty of people who had better starts than her who are much worse off or fell into the traps you'd expect of her.

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Grotbagsthewonderful@reddit

That will be Mildred, very friendly, completely food obsessed, but even now in her later years has never managed to actually pass her driving test, I keep hearing from my brother well she's only a dog but that's no excuse.

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quellflynn@reddit

I don't really know him, but there's this absolute mental episode, who on the hottest bank holiday this year and he's choosing to spend his time working from home, probably just to get no recognition.

fecking mad lad.

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