What is your most absolutely bare minimum human decency humble brag?

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ForsakenAd1732@reddit

Yesterday, I offered to carry an elderly woman’s supermarket shopping bags for her as she was stood on the street looking exhausted. She’d managed to carry them 100m and the nearest houses where still a long way off, so it felt like the right thing to do. She’d managed looked at me like I was a piece of shit, and muttered “I can do it”.

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MBronsonWisconsin@reddit

She might’ve been a lot younger than you thought, and you hurt her feelings🤷‍♀️

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ForsakenAd1732@reddit

She was at least 70 and was out of breath trying to carry the bags. I walked past as I was going into a building and when I can back 2 minutes later, she had moved another 10 metres and put her bags down again.

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Mavisssss@reddit

Even if she was 50 and looked really rough for her age, I still think it's a nice offer.

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Injurious_Beans@reddit

I memorised my NI number the day I got it when I was a kid. I'm now over 50 and it's possibly the only permanent and easily accessed memories I have.

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Justme-scotland@reddit

I know both mine and my younger sisters ni numbers. I can also remember my grandads telephone number and he passed away 15 or so years ago now.

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Derezzed87@reddit

I memorised mine, and my sister's. Because there is one letter and one number different. Every few years I'll get a message from her asking what her NI number is.

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ToriGem@reddit

Same, for my sister and brother, also family car number plates and old phone numbers to landlines i called & postcodes we've lived at lol

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Green-Froyo-7533@reddit

Same here my sisters is one letter and one number different, I thought it was just a weird coincidence

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Derezzed87@reddit

Maybe it is, and so is this.

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Great_Tradition996@reddit

It’s a really strange thing but I find that a considerable number of people know their NI numbers off by heart. They don’t know the bank account number, they don’t know their significant other’s mobile number (or their own a lot of the time!) but they know their NI. I’ve always found that strangely fascinating (I don’t know my bank account no but I do know my own and my husband’s mob numbers!)

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

I think it's because it feels like a huge rightof passage when you're 15. Bank account numbers change, phone numbers change (or used to, maybe partners are more likely to change now), but your NI number is forever

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Great_Tradition996@reddit

You’re probably right!

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runew0lf@reddit

Same, i also still have my OG national insurance card!

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Keasbyjones@reddit

I've got this and the number for my childhood BT charge card locked in.

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Rachieash@reddit

Ditto

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Green-Froyo-7533@reddit

Yeah I can recall mine quite easily. Also my NHS and hospital numbers. Ask me what I ate for lunch today and I’m looking at you blankly because I’ve not a clue!

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MayDuppname@reddit

I can tell you every one of my dad's number plates from childhood. LLS186S was a blue mini we had for less than a week when I was 7. I'm now nearly 50.

I remember my dad's NI number off pat, but have to double check my own. I can only remember about 4 of the reg numbers I've had, from about 20 cars.

I can also remember what both my grandparents' home phone numbers were from when I was about 3 and worried about getting lost.

Most neural pathways die off from non use after a decade or two. No idea why they've all remained so strong in my mind all this time.

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Kittlebricks@reddit

Same! I'm 46 but it's locked in there. Alongside two bank note serial numbers that I once memorised as a kid to test my memory... But hey, I've not got a good memory any more.

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Wly35@reddit

Hahaha I love this. I remember my NI number for 15+ years now purely from working on site as a late teen. Writing it down at each induction on a new site, becomes notched in your mind like your phone number

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ghostofkilgore@reddit

Same. I made a system to remember it the day I got it and it's compeltely lodged in my head now. I've forgotten phone numbers, PIN numbers, but never the NI number.

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Odd_Championship7286@reddit

I save the worms left on the pavement after a rainy night by putting them on the nearest patch of grass or soil when like they’re going to dry out or get stepped on.

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notmyprofile23@reddit

Me too! It’s good to meet the tribe 💕🪱

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woollover@reddit

Me too!!!!!! I've never come across another person who does the same, and this makes me SO happy!

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Familiar-Candidate-7@reddit

I save worms and any other little creatures which might get squashed.

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Current_Fly9337@reddit

And me. I was digging during lockdown and cut straight through a worm and sobbed in the garden for about an hour. Lockdown was a crazy time.

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Oh-reality-come-back@reddit

Aw that’s understandable. What a kind heart you have. I might be wrong but I wonder if a cut worm will turn into two worms

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Current_Fly9337@reddit

I have heard they survive being chopped in half but don’t know if it’s true

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systemicrevulsion@reddit

It's not

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DoughnutMaestro@reddit

My kid cried for two days because I wouldn’t let her stroke my sourdough starter and take it out for a walk because she overheard me saying to my husband that it took more work than I thought and it was like having a pet. Lockdown was rough on autistic only children.

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woollover@reddit

I'm so sorry. I absolutely get it. Caring about living creatures can be really tough sometimes.

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Minchaminch@reddit

My ex couldn't understand why I'd carried a hedgehog half a mile home wrapped in my coat because I'd found it hurt in the middle of the road. Like what? I'm just gonna leave it there to get run over?

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SameCollege4578@reddit

I was waiting for a bus one winter's evening after work in Leeds city centre when it started lashing down with rain. It was really dark too. I spotted a hedgehog on the other side of a really busy road with a central reservation. I thought the poor thing would be brown bread in no time and decided to wait for a gap in the traffic so I could run across, wrap it in my scarf and run back again.

I amassed a small but still sizeable audience of other bus-stop dwellers as I waited for my moment. Finally it arrived and I launched it across that road so fast...only to discover the 'hedgehog' was in fact a brown pom-pom that had fallen off someone's hat.

There were lots of references to SpecSavers when I re-joined the bus Q.

A couple of years ago my mum stopped in a lay-by on a dual carriageway to help a badger that she thought might have been hit but was still alive (bad idea as badgers are very aggressive!!) On her walk back towards it she fell down a hole that was hidden by overgrown grass. She managed to get out of it only to fall down a second hole moments later and broke her leg. While all this was going on the badger thought 'bugger this!' and wandered off, leaving my mum in a hole with a broken foot. I'm going to hell for laughing at that story 🤣

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buzzfrightyears@reddit

All of this is hilarious 😂

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woollover@reddit

Hahaha .. that pom pom!!! And your poor mom!!! It sounds like a heart for animals runs in the family, I hope she's recovered now. Have a wonderful day 😊

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CatCafffffe@reddit

The Hedgehog Incident is FANTASTIC.

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woollover@reddit

I'm so proud of you. That hedgehog will be forever grateful too. My ex told me to 'stop crying ' when my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer, a year after our son died. He was a horrible, horrible man. Ugh! Lol ... Animals are absolutely the best.. thankyou for sharing your story 😊

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DifferentWave@reddit

I do this too!

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woollover@reddit

Hi 5 to the tribe! So happy!

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ZombieGash@reddit

I do this with snails. Never seen worms or I would

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woollover@reddit

Awwww love this!

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ZombieGash@reddit

You’ll love this then. Years ago I was living in a flat and had to move, the day before on my door was the smallest snail I’ve ever seen. Something in me said you’re coming with me. 😆 that night I went on Amazon, got everything he needed, called him Sheldon. He lived for 6 and half years lol in that time I found another baby snail on my new place door, I snidnapped her, called her Georgie, still have her and they both had 14 babies which I still have. 😅😅 I’m mentally ok I promise 🫪

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Oh-reality-come-back@reddit

I’m not exaggerating when I say absolutely love this. It’s just so sweet. 6 years is ages wow and now you’re looking after their family! I’m going to remember this story to cheer me up

Also that emoji at the end is funny, and now I know my phone has it too 🫪

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ZombieGash@reddit

Aww bless you. Yeah I told a few people and some thought I was mental some thought it was sweet haha.

Haha yeah I saw someone use it and noticed it was on mine, I thought ooo I have a new emoji to use because I use the same ones over and over 🫪😅

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woollover@reddit

That's SO cute!!!!! Well done! You absolutely gave them their best life. Slow dating on your doorstep lol

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ZombieGash@reddit

Haha. They get looked after well. And yes absolutely 😅

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phoebean93@reddit

Remember to lightly tap the shell first so they retract inside, as just picking them straight off the pavement can injure them!

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ZombieGash@reddit

I know, I’ve had snails for years. Always gentle with them 🖤

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Oh-reality-come-back@reddit

I do this with the snails as well :)

I have to avoid certain roads or leave the house earlier on rainy work mornings otherwise I’ll miss my bus

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bladefiddler@reddit

So you deny those baby birds the meals their parent would have otherwise brought?!?!

"Cheep cheep, I'm so hungry mummy. Cheep Cheep, I might climb out of the nest prematurely and leap to my certain violent death. Cheep Cheep, as least it'll be quicker than sitting here til I expire of starvation. Cheep Cheep, why can't you find me a worm mummy, even a straggly waterlogged one from a pavement? there must be loads from all this rain. Cheep, I don't have energy mummy, I'm cold, so very co...."

"Cheep Cheep, why won't Robin wake up mummy? Cheep Cheep, is he dead? Am I next? Cheep Cheep, I think I may be, I'm so hungry"

Heartless nature hating bastard.

/S

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woollover@reddit

I feed the birds... We can only do our bit, and what we feel is best. Every bit does help

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LillaLobo@reddit

It’s a good thing to do in winter but you should’ve stopped by now. Fledglings need to learn to find food, and warm weather spreads disease. RSPB advice here

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MurphCoop73@reddit

I do this too!

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woollover@reddit

I LOVE you guys ❤️!!!

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BusAdditional6518@reddit

Always. I also pick up bees from the path and put them on flowers although that did get me stung on the finger the other day.

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Odd_Championship7286@reddit

Yeah I’ve been stung a couple of times helping bees and wasps out of puddles/ bird baths/ ponds but it feels worth it usuay

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NickT1877@reddit

I also do this, snails too. ‘Here you go mate, allow me to help you on your journey’.

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ZombieGash@reddit

I’ve never had an STD. Everyone around me seems to have had at least 1.

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unk1ndm4g1c14n1@reddit

You probably have herpes. Something insane like 80% of the population has it.

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smeghead9916@reddit

I think it's more like 90 odd percent. Though most don't experience symptoms.

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ZombieGash@reddit

Absolutely not. lol

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unk1ndm4g1c14n1@reddit

Asymptomatic for most. And spreads even without human contact. Its just statistics, you probably have it.

Could be something as little as cutlery that wasnt washed with dish soap

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Elfynnn84@reddit

You have categorically no idea what you are talking about.

Cold sores and herpes are two different things!!!

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unk1ndm4g1c14n1@reddit

Cold sores ARE herpes. Cold Sores are the only way type 1 herpes expresses as a symptom.

Do you know what youre talking about??

Also I didnt even mention cold sores

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Elfynnn84@reddit

Yes, I do, dear. I’m an evolutionary biologist and I cannot believe the number of clueless people down voting me for this.

This is a pure case of semantics.

To say “70% of the population has herpes” gives the impression that 70% of the population is carrying the virus for genital warts, an STD. When you say ‘herpes’ people immediately think HSV-2.

70% of the population carry herpes simplex. However the vast majority carry herpes simplex 1, the variant responsible for cold sores. You CANNOT catch genital warts / genital herpes from someone with a cold sore. They are different viruses. HSV-1 categorically does not, under any circumstances, count as ‘having an STD without knowing it’.

The percentage of people carrying herpes simplex 2, the one responsible for genital warts is much much lower, so, no, statistically they do NOT ‘probably have an STD without knowing it’. They probably have the virus for cold sores without knowing it.

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Word_Upper@reddit

Why are you saying "you cannot catch genital herpes from a cold sore"? Yes you can. Someone who has HSV-1 can pass it to someone's genitals via oral sex. Please don't spread misinformation.

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Elfynnn84@reddit

Genital herpes is caused by the HSV-2 virus. You cannot catch genital herpes from someone with a cold sore.

Don’t YOU spread misinformation 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

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RFRMT@reddit

Eep. I was with you until this. Where did you study evolutionary biology again?

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Word_Upper@reddit

Untrue. Have a Google and educate yourself.

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unk1ndm4g1c14n1@reddit

Idk man, you're just wrong. This is such an insane thing to die on a hill for.

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ZombieGash@reddit

Like I said. Absolutely not.

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Elfynnn84@reddit

Don’t talk such rot!!!

It’s HSV-1 (cold sores) that is carried by 65% to 70% of the population (not 80%!!!).

‘Herpes’ as in genital warts caused by the HSV-2 virus is only carried by about 13% of the population.

HSV-1 isn’t an STD.

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Word_Upper@reddit

Genital warts is not the same thing as herpes. And HSV-1 can be spread via sex (eg oral sex). You're saying a lot of untrue things in these comments.

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Elfynnn84@reddit

Warts was a typo.

It’s still not factually accurate to call HSV-1 an STD.

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unk1ndm4g1c14n1@reddit

My bad, 65-70. THATS STILL HUGE

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Elfynnn84@reddit

You’re still not listening…

70% of population carry the virus for COLD SORES (HSV-1).

Only around 13% of the population carry the virus for genital herpes (HSV-2).

They are NOT the same thing. HSV-1 isn’t an STD. 70% of the population isn’t walking around with an STD without knowing it 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Word_Upper@reddit

Genital herpes is not always HSV-2. HSV-1 absolutely can be contracted on the genitals.

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SantaFe91@reddit

Genital herpes (HSV-2) and genital warts (HPV) are different viruses.

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thacaoimhainngeidh@reddit

That doesn't seem like a brag of how decent you are when there are little children walking around with STIs because of abuse, or a child having HPV because an aunt didn't listen when she was told not to kiss the baby while she had an active cold sore.

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skewiffcorn@reddit

Yeah I also don’t get how not having an STI is human decency when it’s not always the person who contracts it’s fault 🤷🏼‍♀️

Regardless I tell all my friends to test test test when meeting new people!!

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ZombieGash@reddit

Not sure what that has to do with me. They asked a question. I answered it.

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thacaoimhainngeidh@reddit

Just seems to me that if your "baseline decent human" trait is "I don't have an STI", then either you don't know that children get them through no fault of their own - and therefore how is that a trait that shows decency? - or you know that, and you're implying that they asked for it.

Now, I know it can't be the latter, because I have to hope that most people, you included, aren't just straight-up evil. But putting a moral value on having sexually transmitted infections is an immoral choice.

If you had said "I have never slept with someone unprotected without telling them I had an STI", that would be a baseline decent brag.

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ZombieGash@reddit

What the fuck are you on about?

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thacaoimhainngeidh@reddit

What you consider "decent" says a lot about who you are as a person. You don't strike me as someone who thinks things through, and that's the nicest thing I can say.

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TimeforPotatoChips@reddit

Are you slut shaming other women? WTF does not having a STD have to do with basic decency?

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KaleidoscopeSilly797@reddit

Do crabs count?🫤

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ZombieGash@reddit

Yeah. 😅 haven’t heard that word for years lol

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

Are you sure? Most men have HPV at least, they just don't know.

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ZombieGash@reddit

I’m a woman lol

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meatflaps-69@reddit

Username checks out

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ZombieGash@reddit

😆😆 I like your username ha

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meatflaps-69@reddit

I like your soulless gash

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ZombieGash@reddit

🤣🤣🤣

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-DoctorSpaceman-@reddit

I read that 95% of sexually active women have an STI by the time they’re 21.

I don’t believe it’s true, but I read it.

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ZombieGash@reddit

I’ve only ever had relationships what have been 5yrs plus. When not in a relationship I’m not sexually active. Always used protection. Never been pregnant. I’m mid 30s. I think it lower than that but statics and all that lol

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eggard_stark@reddit

lol no. 1 in 3.

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Elfynnn84@reddit

I’ve never had an STD either. TBF I am on the asexuality spectrum, I have had some sexual experiences, though.

Probably just much lower body count and less total number of times having sex for someone my age.

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Familiar-Candidate-7@reddit

I’ve never been a bully and have never been rude to shop or restaurant staff.

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smeghead9916@reddit

I'm honest when a cashier undercharges me

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SkeletorOnLSD@reddit

I'm a reasonable drunk. 18 years of going out drinking, and drinking socially, not a single drunken fight or other major incident.

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Kibby9331@reddit

My arse is natural, no bbl.

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Mukatsukuz@reddit

I return beer glasses to the bar

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Capable_Material1234@reddit

I can tip my hat to that one. Always clear your glasses when you’ve done

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ColourfulCabbages@reddit

I was once told by an exhausted barmaid that doing an empties run was something she relished. On busy nights it served as a break from the bar, and on slow ones it gave her something to do. Still, I can't help pop glasses on the end of the bar when I leave.

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sossighead@reddit

I hated it when I worked in a pub.

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Booboodelafalaise@reddit

I didn’t mind collecting empty glasses around the pub.

I used to hate getting the bucket and a paintbrush and having to empty all the ashtrays. It was a disgusting job! (Yes, I am very old!)

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1nkSprite@reddit

I return supermarket trolleys to their little their little trolley halfway houses (why am I blanking on the name for those things?).

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Mukatsukuz@reddit

trolley bay? Apparently Americans call them cart corrals. I have never heard a British consensus on a name for them :)

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TheNotSoFamousEccles@reddit

I'll do that or I'll help them clear the table.

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sossighead@reddit

This. Even before I did 9 months working in a pub I did this as well.

The way I see it you want bar staff to focus on pulling the pints and changing barrels. I’ll bring my glasses back to them 🤣

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BusAdditional6518@reddit

That’s the kids job.

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Current_Fly9337@reddit

I often walk home from the village pub with a half full glass, it’s a thing round here. I return the glass washed. The landlord always has a laugh when my hungover ass rolls through the pub on a Sunday with the dog to return the glass I took home last night.

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Brilliant_Ad7168@reddit

I never smoked. I very rarely drink alcohol (like a glass of wine at dinner once a year). I never did drugs. I always feel so naive when I hear how many people do drugs and how casual they are about it.

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MBronsonWisconsin@reddit

I try to be kind to people who are vulnerable.

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skewiffcorn@reddit

I’m the safe house. When friends have nowhere to turn they come to me! Everyone knows you get fed and a comfy bed at my house. It’s one of the things I used to remind myself that I am a good person ☺️

as an example I recently got a refund from British Gas and invited all my friends around for a BBQ today with everything provided since I had extra cash :)

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MBronsonWisconsin@reddit

My favourite response 💚

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DeliciousDeer1096@reddit

I have never shop-lifted!

I almost did by accident once! But I realised just time and pointed the item out to the cashier.

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I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit

I don't put my feet on public transport seats.

I don't use speakerphone in public.

I will carry my litter around with me until I find a bin.

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Ok-Garage-1684@reddit

I need friends like you

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SpaceTall2312@reddit

I never knowingly drop litter.

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Ok-Garage-1684@reddit

I really hope more people can humbly brag about this one

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DistanceNew3901@reddit

I think most people have never cheated??!

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LordBoomDiddly@reddit

I don't pirate stuff, I don't like the prices of stuff but I just wait until it becomes cheap instead of stealing it

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Pixie_Dust_19@reddit

I have never hit a vape hahaha

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cat5crochet5femme@reddit

Come on peeps, being proud of not cheating, that’s not something to be proud of it’s basic human decency.

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ColourfulCabbages@reddit

If I see a snail on the pavement I move it out of harms way in the direction of its travel.

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Korrigan_369918@reddit

PSA: you need to lightly tap on their shell first so they let go of the ground, then you can safely lift them up to move them.

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confusedoctopus8@reddit

I pick up litter when I see it

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LayeredHalo3851@reddit

Ive never abused substances

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EverybodySayin@reddit

I don't watch real life videos of people being killed. I'm too empathetic and I know I'll be upset.

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Magpie213@reddit

I rescue Hedgehogs 🦔 and donate to the charity that cares for them!

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GodzillaRenovations@reddit

My then girlfriend and I were just coming to the end of having lunch in a café in central London when it was suddenly evacuated thanks to what turned out to be a real IRA bomb in a phone box just up the road.

So we went to the cinema afterwards, as originally planned, and then went back to the now reopened café to settle our bill, genuinely thinking that that was the most normal thing in the world…

…only it wasn’t, as we were apparently the only people to do this. And would we like a free cream tea with cake as a thank-you? Why, yes we would, and it was delicious.

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Database_Reasonable@reddit

I keeps secrets. You wouldn't believe the stuff people have told me over the years. I haven't breathed a word of it to anyone and never will.

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Previous-Ad7618@reddit

I put other people's stuff in the bin when I take my kids to the park. Hate seeing litter.

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ZensibileQuine@reddit

My father was rich and gave my brothers everything I got nothing . Yet my brothers stayed as lorry drivers I put myself through a degree and post grad degree with 2 kids a hubby who did nt work , 2 part time jobs and a mortgage . Lots of others like me but makes me a human

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JonBarghestTheAuthor@reddit

Dogs tend to quite like me.

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Sea-Zebra-5724@reddit

I pick up hedgehogs in the road & move them to the nearest patch of grass or even hedges.

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paulene-gibson-ne29@reddit

I take shits in my enemies plant pots

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kelly-golightly@reddit

I clear my tray and empty my rubbish in the bin at McDonald’s/fast food place. It’s not the job of a staff member to clean up after me and it baffles me the amount of people who casually leave their rubbish on the table.

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TapeDeckSlick@reddit

What has working in hospitality got to do with not cheating?

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SeahorseDada@reddit

I imagined they work in a hotel and see people coming in to have sordid affairs all the time but maybe I'm way off the mark.

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HappyAkratic@reddit

Lmao apparently I'm too innocent because I 100% read the op as like having never cheated on an exam until this comment

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shes-thunderstorms@reddit

in hospitality everyone sleeps with each other, like bar wor, clubs etc it’s all very messy cos it’s usually low of young single people

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skewiffcorn@reddit

I was also confused by this cause when I worked in a restaurant they were all bonking despite having partners outside of work

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RFRMT@reddit

That would make sense of what they’re saying. Essentially:

‘I feel like it’s rare that I don’t cheat — but maybe that’s because I work in hospitality and everyone around me cheats… perhaps if I worked in a different industry, it’d be more common not to cheat.’

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CatsChat@reddit

Opportunity?

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Capable_Material1234@reddit

For those types of people that opportunity is in any vocation, not just hospitality. I’m not like that but I’ve seen so many examples in my 25 years of working

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Agreeable_Pie_7168@reddit

I return trolleys if I see them out and about in a carpark. (Americans will find this confusing, but Australians leave them around and it is very irritating.)

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PrincessStephanieR@reddit

I’ve never tried a cigarette. They stink so why would I want to?

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Telta14@reddit

I don't, and never will, smoke OR vape.

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BlackberryNice1270@reddit

I began donating blood at age 18, had gaps for pregnancy and childbirth but then had to completely stop when I was 28 due to medication. Instead, I made sure both my kids do, and I got my husband to start doing it too. I feel like I made up for having to stop myself.

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SpectreSingh89@reddit

Am gone from a job lifting 22kg on occasions to another job where 15kg is treated like a huge deal. None of my colleagues know as I haven't told them nor do I treat 15kg light like a feather.

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tishkat@reddit

I buy homeless people a bag of supplies if I see them sat outside shops I'm going in to. I've done it regularly for years and never told anyone, until now

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magicians_Hat2021@reddit

what supplies do you get ? it’s something i’d like to do as well - so far i’ve only done socks + tissues + sausage rolls + whatever they ask for

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tishkat@reddit

Water, fruit, fruit juice, biscuits, sanitary products like wipes and toothpaste etc. Something high nutrition, and slow release foods like oat based snacks. A really nice sweet treat is good for the soul. Painkillers sometimes, but I'd speak to them first and keep them in my pocket until I'd worked out of it felt safe to give them. One poor fella had been in agony for months over his teeth and cried and hugged me when I gave him paracetamol. Hand warmers and scarves in the winter. Always some food for a dog if they have one with them too. I generally stop for a chat, hear their story then see if there's anything else I can get them. The one thing that's always appreciated above all is the actual stopping to give my time and consideration, to feel seen.

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lawrekat63@reddit

I am 63 and have never been high

[-]

TeamOfPups@reddit

I'm self employed and I declare all of my income on my tax return

[-]

KaleidoscopeSilly797@reddit

If only all self employed people did what you do the employed would pay less tax.

[-]

Pachyderminthegaff@reddit

You have Stockholm syndrome

[-]

KaleidoscopeSilly797@reddit

Which translates to you're a cunt, luv.

[-]

KaleidoscopeSilly797@reddit

Which translates to you don't pay your taxes MF.

[-]

Pachyderminthegaff@reddit

Which translates to you're a cuck

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

Drop in the ocean compared to what tax could be being collected

[-]

mojnjaro@reddit

There's a £40 billion tax gap

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

Where do you think that's from?

[-]

mojnjaro@reddit

People not paying their taxes and HMRC not collecting They're are under funded and its a false economy

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

Most of that is accounting errors. The bulk of missing tax is from large companies and the very, very rich

[-]

mojnjaro@reddit

No it isn't mostly accounting "errors"

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

It''s all here mate.

[-]

mojnjaro@reddit

I See where you've gone wrong here. Because companies have said they've made "honest errors" you've taken them at their word. We know all governments would rather cut welfare than go after tax owed. Smaller state and all of the neo lib bullshit. You think Amazon, Starbucks, Boots, Apple etc are making genuine accounting errors?

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

You said "people not paying their taxes" which I took issue with. I made no reference to huge companies that are evading tax, which a lot obviously are

[-]

mojnjaro@reddit

If people are not paying the correct amount of tax for whatever reason they dream up, that is not paying their taxes. Which part of that plain English are you having trouble with?

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

You're talking about the public, I was talking about companies. Two different things entirely. That's the plain English here that you're not getting.

[-]

mojnjaro@reddit

I'm talking about people who don't pay their tax if they own companies big or small.

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

And I'm not talking about that, so we're at cross purposes, and so this is where I'm going to withdraw from this conversation

[-]

KaleidoscopeSilly797@reddit

Oh yes, like from the super rich you mean?

Very unlikely that's going to happen though as they own everyone's asses, right?

[-]

klaushkee@reddit

Well that's the point I was making yeah

[-]

RummazKnowsBest@reddit

A rare bird indeed. Well done.

[-]

asymmetricears@reddit

Do you however claim any personal buys are business expenses?

[-]

TeamOfPups@reddit

I don't

[-]

Sufficient_Depth_195@reddit

I have never dropped litter.

I have cheated. I have taken and sold drugs. I have stolen.

But I have never dropped litter.

[-]

Knowing_Eve@reddit

Genuine question as I’ve never understood. Why cheat? Why not break up with the person and then you can do what you want and it’s not cheating?

[-]

Sufficient_Depth_195@reddit

Temptation.

[-]

Knowing_Eve@reddit

Of what specifically?

[-]

Sufficient_Depth_195@reddit

This is a wind up right?

Do you know sexual desire is?

It's an incredibly powerful force of nature. Literally it one of the fundamental driving forces of nature. It is the very reason that every single mammal, lizard, bird, amphibian and insect is on this planet.

Stags fight to the death for it, moths fly miles because of the faintest whiff of the female pheremone, elephants will smash through walls when they are must.

The literature of every single culture throughout history is full of tragic tales of people sho couldn't resist.

How is it that you are unaware? It's impossible.

You are not kidding anybody 🤣

So...yeah...THAT!

[-]

Knowing_Eve@reddit

No, what I said was: why not break up with the person you’re with so that there’s zero need to cheat? I’m a grown adult, have been through a divorce, had children, had happy and horrible relationships in my time. I’m not stupid… I just cannot grasp cheating. I’ve seen it ruin lives. Break up, then do what you want. You’re allowed to have desires and such. I wasn’t intentionally trying to act oblivious to that element. But, why not break up? That’s genuinely genuinely what I do not understand.

Not a wind up. I’m too heavily pregnant to spend the time winding people up on Reddit! It was a genuine question, which hasn’t been answered.

[-]

Sufficient_Depth_195@reddit

Ok since you want to know.

I was in a very passionate and living relationship...with the live of my life. We were head over heels in love both of us. We had a very good sex life 4 times a day, at least, every day...day in day out. And it was GOOD...overwhelming, all encompassing. We'd wake up, we'd have sex, cone back the shop, we'd have sex, back from work we'd have sex, finish our meal...sex, wake up the muddle if the night...sex. I loved her so much. This was 30 years ago and I still remember one morning...we'd just had sex...I was lying in bed and she was getting dressed naked in the sun singing away to Joni Mitchell just smiling at me. Perfect! Then I started a training course. There were 2 guys and about 10 girls. Everyday I came in...buzzing...charged. This might come as news to you but women know when you're having lots of good sex. And 3 or 4 of these girls started flirting with me...mire and more each day. Like REALLY flirting. And I was a young man. I was one if those young men who has a very high drive...not just for sex..but for life. Drugs, parties, friends, adrenalin danger...potatoes!...Yeah really I could get high on potatoes. (Not everyone is like this but it's NOT that uncommon. It's a personality type that is present in all populations) Anyway...day after day they were flirting with me, and sex is not like food you're never full up...it feeds your appetite it doesn't sate it..snd I got more and more horny...until I couldn't take it any more. But I couldn't cheat on the woman I loved. So, ehen I couldn't take it any more, I broke up with her because I simply had to fuck these girls. And you know what? It was the mist stupid and destructive decision of my entire life. I broke her heart, I broke my heart. I hated myself for doing this to her. This story goes on with us getting back together snd breaking up and her taking revenge on me (I don't blame her at all, but it hurt me and made me angry). So this went in for a year until we were both completely emotionally exhausted...and after one argument too many we went our separate ways and didn't speak for 6 months or more. Then, I was going abroad and I wasn't coming back. So I we met up one kast time to leave on good terms. Guess what...we ended up having sex. She had stopped taking birth control but didn't tell me. She got pregnant. I was homeless in a firiegn country and no one knew where I was or coyld contsct me. She had a termination. I never got over it. 10 years later I found myself in a similar situation long term relationship and I was working in an intense high pressure environment eotking very closely with a femsle colleague. We were both very attracted to each other it wasn't planned but our sexual feelings and attraction grew to the point where I could not resist. I chose nit to repeat the mistake I made 10 years earlier. The fling with my colleague didn't last...we knew it wouldn't. My partner worked out what was going on. We separated, we talked, we got back togther, we now have 2 children and a happy life together. So that's my story.

[-]

lastMETALfinal@reddit

This has to be copy pasta(if that's even still a thing) because this is the most pathetic thing I've read on reddit for a long time.

[-]

UFDZU@reddit

I've never personally cheated, but I imagine it's a proximity thing combined with the aformentioned temptation.

Everyone is different, but in the right circumstances and environment it could happen.

If you add in things like alcohol or even someone's general perception of relationships in life, thresholds and judgements can vary.

[-]

marlow6686@reddit

It sounds like you’ve spent a long time rationalising and normalising this…

[-]

CharlieBigz@reddit

Great comment

[-]

andycwb1@reddit

I held the door for the person behind me when coming back from lunch - while doing jury service. Heard ‘thanks, mate!’ and looked around, to be face to face with the defendant in the case I was on. He was on bail so coming and going via the public entrance with everyone else.

[-]

snortgiggles@reddit

What does this say about us?

[-]

Scarred_fish@reddit

It shows how fucked the economy is.

No matter how decent a human being you are, anyone can end up having to do things to survive that they wouldn't go near if they had a choice.

I have worked full time since I left school in the 80s, but there have been times I have had to use food banks and depend on community charity for warm food.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have that help. If I didn't, would I have eventually tried to steal food from a supermarket? Probably.

[-]

ElizabethHiems@reddit

I’ve never cheated

I don’t drop litter

I’ve never done drugs

I always pick up after the dog.

[-]

notspringsomnia@reddit

I like to smile at strangers and always like it when people are clearly taken aback in a wholesome way at me smiling at them.

[-]

nicolyon-_-@reddit

I say please and thank you always

[-]

dopaminecollector@reddit

I always take the trolley back. Even when it’s chucking it down

[-]

Hot-Box1054@reddit

I’m one of these sad people who enjoys taking the trolley back. When I was a kid me and my brother would fight over who takes it back. It was a lot of funny running with it to get the pound back.

[-]

Princes_Slayer@reddit

Me too, and I tidy/rearrange them when others just fling the different sizes anywhere

[-]

Great_Tradition996@reddit

I do this as well! It’s not even as though I’m a particularly tidy or organised person in general

[-]

BraveLordWilloughby@reddit

Last week I helped a man in his 80s who was stuck in a secluded woodland carpark with a dead battery. I drove 12 miles and used 1.5hrs in my quest to sort him out.

[-]

RFRMT@reddit

You ruined his dogging and he was too ashamed to say it.

[-]

Hot-Box1054@reddit

😂😂

[-]

old--oak@reddit

Mid 40s, never tried smoking.

[-]

Gnarly_314@reddit

Witnessed an SUV reverse into a Fiesta leaveing a big dent. The SUV drove off so left a message on the Fiesta's windscreen to call for details of the incident.

[-]

MJLDat@reddit

I have never murdered anyone.

[-]

Extreme-Composer8452@reddit

If someone leaves or drops their phone/wallet behind. I will inform them. I didn't think it was weird until people I told about it got mad at me.

[-]

CuteMaterial@reddit

I'm in my 40s and never smoked a cigarette

[-]

OsotoViking@reddit

I'm 37 and have never cheated, nor would I ever. I think you're the lowest form of pond life if you cheat. I don't even really think of a cheater as a person, more like an animal or something lower than human. I disowned my mother for cheating on my dad, haven't spoken to her in fourteen years and never will again. My sister cheated on her ex-husband, and I wouldn't speak to her anymore either if it weren't for wanting to see my nephew and niece. I have zero respect for her as person anymore and don't feel anything for her, she's not my little sister anymore just my niblings' mother. No excuse at all.

[-]

user0969_@reddit

I keep my word

[-]

Olives_And_Cheese@reddit

I'm not, nor have I ever been on crack. Of all the things I struggle with in life, crack is not one of them. A win is a win 🤷‍♀️

[-]

No-Phone9636@reddit

Best 5 minutes of your life....but walking away is a nightmare. Best left

[-]

I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit

Very moreish

[-]

No-Phone9636@reddit

More moreish than that

[-]

lizboferrari@reddit

Whenever myself or my partner makes an impulse purchase our line is ‘at least we don’t buy cocaine’ 😂

[-]

Jojo6167@reddit

🤣🤣🤣

[-]

thisthrowawaythat202@reddit

If meth worse than crack?

[-]

pok-e-pal@reddit

I donate blood whenever I can and I make sure snails/ frogs that I see on a sunny day don’t dry out in the sun

[-]

Acting_Normally@reddit

I’ve never been drunk in my life - most I ever drank in one go was 3 quarters of a pint of cider when I was 17 and that was over the course of about 4 hours 😅

I’m 41 now 🙂👍

[-]

SpecialistAd7120@reddit

I know pi to about 130 digits. Memorised while i should have been revising for my gcse’s

[-]

FidgetyHog@reddit

I learned Morse code when I should have been revising.

[-]

SpecialistAd7120@reddit

If i was stuck on an island id be taking you with me fidgetyhog

[-]

pm_me_your_amphibian@reddit

I’m not sure this is either human decency or bare minimum but I am impressed with you

[-]

SpecialistAd7120@reddit

Okay i change my answer. -I can admit when ive had too much to drink and don’t read questions properly-

[-]

Cautious_School_2490@reddit

Proof, if needed, that absolutely anything is more interesting than revision.

[-]

Classic_Rate_8448@reddit

Alot of people feel safe enough to confide deeply personal things in me and I'm very well trusted too.

[-]

Glittering-Draw-6223@reddit

I clear my own table at fast food places like mcdonalds. lots of people do, but lots of people just dont.

[-]

CockWombler666@reddit

I’m a bone marrow done (the old fashioned way) and to the best of my knowledge the recipient was still alive 12 years later….

[-]

HMP729G@reddit

What you’ve done is great and everything but your username is epic 🤣

[-]

JustLetItAllBurn@reddit

The old-fashioned way being the giant needle into the hip? Truly, you are a hero.

[-]

CockWombler666@reddit

6 actually…. 3 each side….. and thank you

[-]

JustLetItAllBurn@reddit

I didn't shit into my boss's desk drawer after being made redundant.

[-]

shugavery96@reddit

I don’t drag other women down, ever. Not for a man, not to make myself feel better, nothing.

[-]

eralcilrahc@reddit

Even in my most nastiest, most serious fights I never talk about peoples physical appearance

[-]

EchoesOfZhivago@reddit

An underrated trait! Well done.

[-]

EchoesOfZhivago@reddit

Never stolen a single thing in my life.

[-]

BongoHunter@reddit

I wipe down equipment after I've used it at the gym

[-]

FidgetyHog@reddit

You are one of the good ones.

[-]

LordJebusVII@reddit

34, I've never bailed on a friend unless I was too ill to get out of bed

[-]

SeahorseDada@reddit

What if you're able to get out of bed but ill with something clearly contagious like a cold? I always bail because I don't want to make them ill.

[-]

LordJebusVII@reddit

It depends on the plan, if we were going out I'll still go and just keep my distance, use hand sanitiser constantly, wear a mask if suitable and leave early. We don't go out very often because everyone is poor so it's rarely been an issue. I guess I would bail if I had a stomach bug or something but I've been very lucky to have never had to cancel plans for that.

If we are just meeting up at someone's house (what we do most of the time) then I'll let them know I've got a cold and give them the choice. Sometimes they won't mind, sometimes we'll hang out virtually on Discord so we're still chatting and watching something together or playing games or whatever. It's not bailing if you are still hanging out and doing the same things but not in the same room.

[-]

DrBarryBonds@reddit

I don't think I've ever disrespected nayone based on status. Unless they were rude, I'm never dismissive of anyone regardless of their position on society

[-]

Euphoric-Wall-2576@reddit

I've never smoked a cigarette.

I've smoked a lot of weed, taken narcotics and hallucinogens, but never smoked a fag.

[-]

RFRMT@reddit

Did you always smoke your weed pure or are you just saying you’ve never smoked tobacco without weed in it?

[-]

Euphoric-Wall-2576@reddit

The second one.

[-]

RFRMT@reddit

Good on you. I only smoked cigarettes when I was lacking weed but it did feel pointless!

[-]

TheNotSoFamousEccles@reddit

I've never screwed anyone over, though have been screwed over multiple times. I've always said I'd rather get nowhere honestly than somewhere dishonestly.

So far, it's not working out particularly well for me.

[-]

Emergency_Wealth7778@reddit

I indicate at every junction and roundabout

[-]

Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

I've never taken a glass from the pub

[-]

mojnjaro@reddit

I demanded a refund when a company missed my door number off my delivery address as shown on the receipt. Now 10 days later the parcel arrived. I messaged them and said I was willing to pay. The post man had a handheld to let them know it had been delivered anyway.

[-]

WeirdLight9452@reddit

I don’t smoke. Pretty much all my family do or did for long periods of time, despite many of them dying of cancer or COPD.

Also I got tested to give my mum a kidney. I was 18 and she got my dad’s instead in the end, but I offered! Her transplant is losing functionality now and she’s flatly refusing to let me even think about donating.

[-]

SeahorseDada@reddit

Same, never smoked a cigarette in my life despite my entire immediate family (parents and much older brother) smoking around me all the time growing up. I decided as a kid that I would never try it and I stuck to that.

[-]

WeirdLight9452@reddit

I did try it once, because I wanted to know what people were killing themselves for. I was sick. Not worth it.

[-]

Hertfordgal@reddit

Is the right way to be 😁

[-]

massdebate159@reddit

I once saw a little boy being bullied badly by these other lads. I shouted "OI!" to them and they scattered, one of them was on a bike. I'm a 5'7 skinny woman, so not intimidating at all. I asked if the lad was ok. He sobbed and said "they just took my bike" 😢 Poor lad couldn't have been older than 9. I walked him home.

[-]

BananaHomunculus@reddit

I clean up toilets if they've been left in a bad way, I don't mind getting my hands dirty and I know alot of people do mind that.

[-]

ileuadd@reddit

I can say the alphabet backwards. I learned to years ago for a kid I worked with who was blind and enjoyed hearing repetitive sounds, and the alphabet the right way round started to get old.

[-]

Green-Froyo-7533@reddit

Yeah I kinda did this too to the point I can say it backwards as fast as I can say it forwards. Both my kids were pretty impressed. I grew up loving BF word searches, crossword puzzles and anagrams and also making words out of number plates (still a favourite hobby when in slow moving traffic. With the word searches it was just as logical to look for the last letter and work backwards as it was to look for the first letter or the least common letter.

[-]

ileuadd@reddit

Oh same I love any sort of word game. My brain seems to automatically make words out of number plates, I love it!

[-]

agradoway@reddit

I declare all of my income and return my beer glasses—basically just not being a garbage human feels like a real flex these days.

[-]

Equal_Tadpole2716@reddit

I helped an old lady carry her shopping down the stairs last week.. because she asked me to. If she hadn't asked, I probably would have walked past her and it wouldn't have crossed my mind, but she asked so I did it.

[-]

Chibi_Panda2@reddit

I have never cheated on a person, I do cheese video games sometimes- for example, I was playing a blackjack mini game recently and didn’t want to spend hours on it so save scummed.

I’ve never been on recreational drugs or drank too much alcohol

I socially distanced, got vaccinated and wore masks during covid

[-]

RelationKindly@reddit

I do not kill spiders

[-]

Fit-Fault338@reddit

I gave a bee some sugar water and shade last year during a very hot day. I always put water out for what ever wants it.

[-]

Fit-Fault338@reddit

Ive always put my kids first.

[-]

Urban_Peacock@reddit

I don't swear. I've probably uttered the F word under 10 times in my life. 3 of those were for a drama performance.

[-]

ForsakenAd1732@reddit

I love this.

[-]

Ruby-Shark@reddit

I fucking love this.

[-]

MyCatIsAFknIdiot@reddit

I lived on the streets in the winter, for a period of time with a serious mental health condition.

Now a big cheese in a large government department, I volunteer to talk about my 45 year old battle with being neuro-diverse and mentally ill to help anyone and every one to be more tolerant and understanding.

[-]

Left-Ad-3412@reddit

I have never stolen anything in my life. Ever. Not a sweet when I was kid. Nothing

[-]

-DoctorSpaceman-@reddit

I bet you’ve stolen a glance

[-]

Derezzed87@reddit

Or a heart.

[-]

Longjumping-Fig-7481@reddit

Or a movie! The pirates are out to get you

[-]

Longjumping-Fig-7481@reddit

You never put the weapons or health and armour codes in???

[-]

danmingothemandingo@reddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0B_ekSrsEk&t=16

[-]

TokyoJazzPanda@reddit

If I walking diwn/up a street behind a woman on her own, I will cross over to the other side of the road when I'm around 15-20 yards out. If I have no option but to stay on the other side (blinder corner/no pavement/I actually need to head in the direction I had originally diverted from, then I'll crosscbqck over infront of them when I'm about 15 yards ahead (like a shit-odds race horse making up ground on the outside). I absolutely will not look back or acknowledge them in any way.

It's second nature now, and hopefully helps to keep blood pressure a bit lower than the standard footsteps echo.

[-]

throaway_247@reddit

You mean to say that being faithful is some crazy thing that only you are capable of?

[-]

-DoctorSpaceman-@reddit

No, he didn’t.

Here’s my one: I actually read posts before commenting on them

[-]

notacanuckskibum@reddit

I mean, that’s like a Buddha level humble brag.

[-]

Olives_And_Cheese@reddit

It's a bare minimum humble brag lol

[-]

ApplicationNeither@reddit

Never been drunk. Haven't drunk at all for a couple years, but I've never once had more than 3 beers.

[-]

drunken-acolyte@reddit

Maybe that’s working in hospitality though

I abso-fucking-lutely guarantee you that it was happening all over your workplace and you were just oblivious to it.

[-]

meatflaps-69@reddit

As a pale scottish cunt, I survived a couple of nights in a bothy in minus 20 by smashing through ice in burn to get some water to drink while very high on san pedro cactus and didnt burn the place down deep frying back meat of deer.

No other humans were harmed or involved in the process of my own survival.

[-]

InquiringMind@reddit

I give blood. Now in my 50s, my last donation was the 79th. I’m determined to reach 100, if my health doesn’t stop me.

[-]

whizzdome@reddit

I've never seen Titanic.

[-]

oxgillette@reddit

Of course you haven’t, it’s at the bottom of the ocean

[-]

Jojo6167@reddit

🤣🤣🤣

[-]

Colossalloser@reddit

Never smoked or vaped. Never did any recreational drugs. Never got an STD. Never got arrested. Never got pulled over. Never cheated. Never stolen anything. Never hit anyone. Never yelled at anyone. Never littered. I’m 23.

[-]

herefromthere@reddit

Same, except for the cheating. When I was a kid I thought it was absolutely fine to cheat at Monopoly. If you can get away with stealing from the Bank, why wouldn't you?

Oh... I did start eating a sherbet fountain before it was paid for when I was about four. I cried because I thought the police were coming for me.

I'm 41

[-]

readzalot1@reddit

I got my kids vaccinated on time and in full. As a senior I got all the recommended vaccines, even the ones that cost a little bit.

[-]

Then_Palpitation_705@reddit

After I’ve paid for my shopping at the self checkout at Morrisons (other supermarkets are available) I’ll take my empty basket and drop it into the little wheelie thing where empty baskets live.

I drink, I used to smoke, I’ve lied, I’ve cheated and done a vast amount of cocaine in the past so this is the least I can do in the beginnings of my quest for atonement.

[-]

Western-Mall5505@reddit

I've never tried any illegal drugs

[-]

Accurate_Dot542@reddit

I know all the words to Eminem - Kill you, I listened to that album on repeat for years from when I was 12 and the words never leave my head.

[-]

Illustrious-Bus-8862@reddit

Did it day you couldn't rap about being broke no more?

[-]

HobNob_Pack@reddit

Never cheated, never done drugs, never stolen, never done harm to anyone

[-]

ChoiceAd9389@reddit

I protect spiders even if it causes some unrest with my partner!!

[-]

Shackled-Zombie@reddit

If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive.

[-]

-DoctorSpaceman-@reddit

If you want flies on your head, make sure that spider is dead

[-]

Mukatsukuz@reddit

I collect spiders so thank you

[-]

ChoiceAd9389@reddit

My absolute pleasure 😄

[-]

Ennochie@reddit

Put toilet paper down in the shower to give spiders an exit path

[-]

totalgoof@reddit

I have cheated... Ludo Is impossible itherwise

[-]

Ennochie@reddit

Cute!

[-]

spicyzsurviving@reddit

I’m not violent, and have zero impulse to get into a physical scrap with anyone

The prospect of shoplifting makes me feel sick with anxiety and I don’t find it funny to joke about either

I would never cheat in a relationship

I would never litter

[-]

TarcFalastur@reddit

In my 39 years of life never once have I died. That's the plainest Jane thing I can think of.

[-]

Hot-Box1054@reddit

I save money and actually have more than £100 in my account. I live in a working class area and everyone I speak to always seems to be broke and everytime I mention something like buying lunch from M&S or ordering takeaway more than once they call me ‘fancy’ or ‘loaded’ and tell me ‘it must be nice being so rich’. I make a standard salary, I always have done. But I knew I wanted to have some savings so for the first 10 years of my working life I didn’t socialise, go on holiday or even date, I wore my clothes until I had holes in them and as a result managed to save for several years. And now have money in my account but this basic concept is so lost on a lot of people that they think I’m lying and have secret wealth or something 🙄

[-]

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