Educator who just got home from the last day of school - only one way to start the summer
Posted by jayhof52@reddit | lebowski | View on Reddit | 191 comments
ReggieOnTop@reddit
Must be exhausting.
ToastyVoltage@reddit
Flunking social studies
al3x_7788@reddit
BlueBall%
BrownBannister@reddit
Congrats friend you’ve earned it.
hiptobesq12345@reddit
And a good day to you sir!
godzilladc@reddit
Go Ravens!
knivesofsmoothness@reddit
Oat soda, Gary?
SawolHus@reddit
Does this place look like he’s fuckin married?
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
calvinmacisaak@reddit
You want a wedding ring? I can get you a wedding ring by 3 o’clock.
knivesofsmoothness@reddit
With paint. Psssh
pumpkinbot@reddit
What does this quote have to do with amateurs? What the fuck does anything have to do with amateurs?
Blue-cheese-dressing@reddit
Where’s your special lady friend?
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
She was at Star Wars with our son. I took advantage of a quiet house to relax with the dog and The Dude.
Talengard1@reddit
Keepin' a Grogu... Within the city... for domestic. That ain't legal either.
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
What are you some kinda fuckin’ stormtrooper now?
drfusterenstein@reddit
This aggression will not stand, man.
InerasableStains@reddit
New shit has come to light
maloside@reddit
Etz chaim hi, Dude, as the ex used to say
Grahamophone@reddit
I did not know that.
SawolHus@reddit
Ohhh. My thinking about this had become very uptight.
swayinandsippin@reddit
very complicated marriage. lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous
guiltycitizen@reddit
Lotta strands in Duders head
sorriso_pontual@reddit
he's not married, she's just his special lady friend!
trumpsmellslikcheese@reddit
New shit has come to light.
master_roshis_hat@reddit
This is hilarious but you can tell because of the exercise ball and small weights by the TV lmao
Hefty_Win_8811@reddit
He's just helping her conceive.
gazzilloro@reddit
Exercise ball just makes the room.
AlmostNeverPosts@reddit
You're not dealing with morons, here.
Slight-Ad-6553@reddit
to be fair we can't see the toiletseats
Brother_Seamus2@reddit
Obviously you’re not a golfer (married man).
SawolHus@reddit
First of all, dude, I don’t have an ex.
Brother_Seamus2@reddit
The fucking dog has fucking papers
TheModWhoShaggedMe@reddit
The picture frames are aligned, of course there's a strumpet involved.
Griffin_Claw@reddit
Special lady friend
Burquetap@reddit
Un Gran Lebowski
toooldforthisshittt@reddit
shit yeah, the achievers
MechanicalTurkish@reddit
And proud we are of all of them.
fromouterspace1@reddit
One of my favorite lines in the movie. Great delivery
GivenToFlyGuy@reddit
As a Bills fan, I didn’t want to like this. As a fellow Little Lebowski Urban Achiever, I had to do the right thing
fromouterspace1@reddit
And proud we are of all of them
pumpkinbot@reddit
Come on, man. It's been a long night and I hate the fucking Eagles, man!
SirBabiez@reddit
Well, new shit has come to light
Mr_Plow_420@reddit
fromouterspace1@reddit
Maybe my favorite gif of all time
Aggressive-Mix4971@reddit
I still have another week and a half, but soon as that's up I'm stealing this plan.
ilikebigbluffs@reddit
I gotta ask, is the teaching profession as promiscuous as people say? Is everyone sleeping with everyone or what?
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
I’ve been married for 11.5 years and a dad for 12 years, which effectively cut me off from the gossip streams (by choice - having a family is a FOMO killer).
I dated a few colleagues prior to meeting my wife, big mistake in a school as small as the one where I started my career, but I’ve blissfully had my head in the sand as far as that aspect of the profession goes.
Hefty_Win_8811@reddit
Listen, u/jayhof52,, I'm sorry if all the teachers in your school are nymphos, but I don't see what it has to do with...
Do you have any kalhua?
Slight-Ad-6553@reddit
say friend do you have one of those souxcity sasprerrial?
steak_n_eggsh@reddit
This fellow educator abides. That ravens tapestry really brings the room together, man.
nomoresafesearch91@reddit
Got any of that good Selztarilla?
gilligan1050@reddit
Ever heard of Sunshine THC drinks? I get ones with 60mg of thc and 30 CBG.
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
This was my first time trying a THC drink, so I stuck with the 5 just to be safe (but bought a 10 as well if the experience was a good one).
I’m an ex-smoker (18 years clean), so joints aren’t fun for me, and I’m wary of the health risks with vapes. Edibles have the fewest drawbacks, but the “it could be 15 minutes or it could be two hours before it kicks in” is a little annoying.
Seltzers seem to be the trick for “I don’t want to harm myself too much but I also want a more immediate effect”. I also have microdose mints that I feel pretty quickly but they’re 2.5 mg each and I try to space those out for when I’m feeling stressed or anxious (not at work obviously).
CzarTyrranvs@reddit
🎶what a wonderful feeling🎶
FightinPolish@reddit
You can imagine where it goes from here…
custerdome81@reddit
He fixes the cable?
Weezthajuice@reddit
That rug really held the wall together
Chuswo@reddit
Far out man. Far freaking out.
Annual-Negotiation-5@reddit
Man, come on. I've had a rough night, and I hate the fuckin Ravens, man!
AintDatSwell@reddit
Fuck you! If you don't like my team, get ya own fucking flag!
MrBark@reddit
Ssss Oh boy. How ya gonna keep 'em in Cleveland once they've seen Cal Ripkin?
brnthrshmn@reddit
Fuckin’ A (Go Steelers)
TheModWhoShaggedMe@reddit
I wouldn't hold out any hope for the Orioles, either. You can close the file on that one.
geekchicshipper@reddit
Hey, man, are you gonna find these good seasons? Or, you know, I mean… you got any promising talent or…
Talent? Yeah. Sure. I’ll just check with the boys down on the farm system.
goofytigre@reddit
Watching Logjammin'?
MrBark@reddit
Jesus, man, can you change the banner? Man, c'mon I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Ravens, man.
sumppumpslump@reddit
Dankness warshed over the dude
WhatIsTheAmplitude@reddit
Quirk Seltzer? That’s a good one.
Botosi5150@reddit
Mind if I do a seltzer?
pumpkinbot@reddit
You don't come in watching The Big Lebowski drinking that, do you? On a weekend?
Denver-Ski@reddit
Caucasian
Unable_Lime_2903@reddit
Two oat sodas, Gary
Several_Dark_7711@reddit
Right Dude
ZimmeM03@reddit
Fuck this killed me
safetycommittee@reddit
SortofChef@reddit
That’s a bummer man.
Ralph--Hinkley@reddit
13-year-old throw blanket on the wall?
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
Not that old - it’s got both the Bowls on it; I think I got it to decorate when we bought the house in 2019.
Ralph--Hinkley@reddit
Can't wait for this season.
Who Dey!
Mobile82@reddit
This guy’s an achiever!
maloside@reddit
Shit, yeah, the achievers
sleezy_McCheezy@reddit
And proud we are of all of him.
Murky_Historian8675@reddit
That Ravens banner really ties the room together
No_Consequence_6363@reddit
Can you just take it easy, man?
murse_joe@reddit
It’s a zesty enterprise
samn32@reddit
Far out.
jussapieceofgarbage@reddit
As a browns fan… worthy fuckin adversary
LippService@reddit
You hate the fuckin' Eagles, don't you?
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
My special lady friend is from Dallas, so it’s required for a happy marriage.
LippService@reddit
That some kinda eastern city?
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
Far from it, dude.
Call-a-Crackhead@reddit
The last day of school in May??
Far out, far fucking out!
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
We started August 19.
I mean, um, is this a - what day is this?
no_bender@reddit
sometimes there's a man
Apprehensive-Fact-74@reddit
Go Ravens
ifthedudeabidesman@reddit
That’s a good one
kronik419@reddit
MitchellOfficial@reddit
Chase that bad boy with a Natty Boh
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
Have to wait until Wednesday when I’m back in Baltimore. A Boh at Duda’s with a crab cake is the dream.
MitchellOfficial@reddit
I think the dude would abide by that
Wide-Lemon-5949@reddit
BassmasterJedi@reddit
nice marmot.
No_Brain_5164@reddit
Wu? Wasn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire?
mountainsun9@reddit
And a fine day to you, sir Much respect, thank you for dealing with our embattled children for another year
assistant_redditor@reddit
Ive had a rough day and I hate the fuckin Ravens man
AroundGoesThe18@reddit
Fuckin a.
chrillho18@reddit
I take solace in the fact that there are educators in the world that are also fans and out there achieving. Enjoy your summer dude.
timo_k91@reddit
That’s marvelous
Flush_Fiction@reddit
Parfois il y a un homme
danyellsahn@reddit
What grade did you give Larry Sellers
Affectionate_Dot9101@reddit
I have 2 weeks left and I will follow suit
jbluft1894@reddit
Rest up for bowling Saturday …
SirBabiez@reddit
I’m shomer Shabbos.
ThatRagingBull@reddit
How come you don’t roll on Saturday, Walt?
Fucknjagoff@reddit
Will you come off of it, Walter? You’re not even fucking Jewish, man.
Buckeye_Country@reddit
SHOMER SHABBOS!
AlmostNeverPosts@reddit
I told that jbluft1894 a fucking thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos!
SawolHus@reddit
They already posted it.
AlmostNeverPosts@reddit
Well they can fucking un-post it!
CanesFanInTN@reddit
See them tumbling along
locke63@reddit
You think you have any room for one more?
im_rapscallion86@reddit
Far out man.
jammertron512@reddit
Did Larry turn in his homework before year end?
ultraviolet_77@reddit
Maybe I’ll do the same when our school year is over. What do you teach?
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
High school librarian!
Ancient_Composer9119@reddit
Sometimes, there's a librarian...I won't say a hero. Because, what's a hero?
alanwaits@reddit
So when people get divorced do they turn in their library cards?
MechanicalTurkish@reddit
Not if it’s their only form of ID.
medorian@reddit
Should treat yourself to a new rug dude, something to tie that room together.
JustTheBeerLight@reddit
Burgers, beers, some laughs. Your fuckin' troubles are over, dude.
safetycommittee@reddit
Couple salads, couple seltzers, our fucking troubles are over, Dude!
FrannyGlass-7676@reddit
That’s my tradition too! Have a great summer!
TorgoLebowski@reddit
Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself The Dude. Now, "Dude", there's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so durned interestin'. They call Los Angeles the "City Of Angels", but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course, I can't say I seen London, and I never been to France. And I ain't never seen no Queen in her damned undies, as a fella says. But I'll tell you what... after seein' Los Angeles, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early '90s - just about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause what's a hero? But sometimes, there's a man and I'm talkin' about the Dude here sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude. In Los Angeles. And even if he's a lazy man and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a man... Sometimes, there's a man. Ah, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I done introduced him enough.
fluffHead_0919@reddit
Fuck the Ratbirds! Who Dey!
marvelousmondays@reddit
Tell me about yourself Jay-free
Outrageous-Pirate891@reddit
You never went to college
marvelousmondays@reddit
No, I did. I spent most of my time occupying various libraries, drinking a lot of thc seltzer…
buckfutten@reddit
BuckManscape@reddit
Not exactly a lightweight.
MechanicalTurkish@reddit
Bulk of the term papers.
MarcoMarti1981@reddit
FAR out man…
Ask_Black_Phillip333@reddit
FAR fucking out!!
BlendedCotton@reddit
Takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners
No_Designer_5374@reddit
Obviously, you're not a golfer.
Express_Area_8359@reddit
Ya know man that rug ties the room together.
rylohayes92@reddit
Hell yeah, brother
polygonalopportunist@reddit
Nothing is fucked?
dam58b@reddit
Are you in baltimore or kansas city
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
Grew up in MD but live in KC (but I’ll be in Baltimore Wednesday for some crabs and baseball).
HeavyMetalRN1974@reddit
Tempters strawberry is a favorite!
DoughnutPassGo@reddit
Hey! This is a private residence, man!
allusium@reddit
Are you employed, sir?
wafuda@reddit
The dude doesn’t vibe with organized sports 🏈
Curious_george1567@reddit
Obviously you’re not a golfer
_JediJon@reddit
Are you employed sir?
therealtwomartinis@reddit
way out in summer school there was this fella, fella I want to tell you about
Pretty-Habit-722@reddit
Cheers dude!
icanith@reddit
Fuck it dude, let’s go bowling
GreninjaStrike@reddit
I hate the fucking Ravens man
johnnywalkerblack81@reddit
What’s with this day of rest shit???
pl3x1@reddit
I like your style
Grafakos@reddit
Say, friend, you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?
easternseaboardgolf@reddit
This had not occurred to us, dude
PaddyPat12@reddit
My advice is, do what your parents did! Get a job [for the summer]! The [Ravens] will always lose! Do you hear me, u/jayhof52?
DonnyOOE@reddit
Is it the… what day is this?
_herenorthere66@reddit
Is this a…what day is it?
Papicervezabarrata@reddit
It’s good to see you takin’ it easy for all us sinners out there.
ExoticTrout@reddit
All your troubles are over, dude
Residual_Venom@reddit
I like your style, dude.
MarvelousVanGlorious@reddit
Far out man. Far fucking out.
RiverRunEd@reddit
I fucking hate the eagle (and their purple cousins)...jk
Electronic_Heat_1581@reddit
Is it already that time? what is it a Wednesday?
ItsAllSkewed@reddit
A rug might really pull that room together, dude.
Haunting_Ant_5061@reddit
*tie
…in the parlance of our times, please.
Deep_Independence792@reddit
That’s a shitty poster, dude.
Haunting_Ant_5061@reddit
We all hate the fuckin’ ravens, man. Also, Dude, “poster” is not the preferred nomenclature, “hanging-rug tying the wall together,” please.
john-tockcoasten@reddit
I hope you recognize your top students as Mr. Jayhoff52's Library Achievers.
Blizreme@reddit
Same here brother. Enjoy your break and take it easy man. We have earned it.
jayhof52@reddit (OP)
Been a wild school year, man.
ronnie-white@reddit
What do you do for fun?
wds1@reddit
Careful, man, there's a beverage here!
EmotionalBar2533@reddit
That clean carpet really ties the room together dude
TBeard495@reddit
The dudes wall rug really tied the room together. Go flock!
G-Unit11111@reddit
Far out, man! Far fucking out!
Curious_george1567@reddit
Think he’s got room for one more?
AlmostNeverPosts@reddit
Fortunately, you're adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep your mind, you know, limber.
gpm21@reddit
I dig your style too man. Got the whole Baltimore thing going.
Huge_Valuable_4793@reddit
There’s a beverage here, man!
archimidesx@reddit
And a good day to you sir!
kinkyslc1@reddit
I dig your style, u/jayhof52 . Mind if I do a J?