So homesick it hurts
Posted by moonboot0@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 9 comments
Moved from Sydney to Vancouver, Canada, been here two months. It’s been incredible and enriching on the whole, and it’s fulfilled my craving for drastic change. I also have a wonderful boyfriend here who treats me very well. But today I’ve been hit with the most powerful homesickness, to the point where I actually just feel sick. I’ve gone to lie in bed.
It’s not even Sydney that I miss. It’s my deep friendships, my family, my coworkers. It’s constantly reminiscing over childhood memories. And painfully missing our tiny country house in the southern highlands. I can’t stop crying and I barely want to even move. I feel so alone and disconnected. I also don’t have a job yet so it’s long structureless days - though at least I have roommates that I like. And I’m making new friends but it’s not the same, at least not yet.
I know that it comes in waves and I have the resilience to push through it. But right now, it just hurts so much.
Does anyone have any advice?
eevee_nina@reddit
Very normal but still it sucks.. I once found myself crying in a walk-in closet in South Korea.. the first two weeks sucked but after I started growing some community things very quickly changed for me.
But I gotta say, when you feel so bad it gets difficult to do your normal daily activities (because you just feel like laying in bed) it might be worth to get a bit of support. Maybe checkout @u/expatforward
Stay strong 🫶
halcyondreamzsz@reddit
Hey I remember your post right after you first got there. Homesickness is just part of things like this, and the shift in winter up here is tough for all of us and can really get the best of you if you don’t expect it/know how to keep yourself afloat through the darkness. Focus on indoor hobbies and maybe some places that you can meet friends, like book clubs or an art class or whatever you like to do. My partner is Aussie and it’s always a treat to see him experience the snow. Vancouver has amazing winter opportunities for enjoying the snowy mountains, and ice skating is fun too (: it’s different here, and remember that it doesn’t have to be forever. You don’t have to have everything figured out and make big decisions on one day of big feelings. Hang in there
Neverland__@reddit
Wait for winter. Canada is fucked for Aussies in the winter. Lucky it’s Vancouver and not Toronto or mtl. You know where I used to go December to March? Sydney lol
kloveday78@reddit
All perfectly normal... the honeymoon phase is ending... usually it takes 3-4 months but it was bound to happen. Same thing happened with me. After 3 months in Poland I started snapping on my wife for no reason, spending all my time on social media and having serious "what have I done?" panicky doubts about living abroad.
For me, I took a trip back home for a week... realised all the people I'd left were not doing ANYTHING new, still loved me and cared about me and were still very much there for me as my friends... and it vanished.
That was 15 years ago. Now I go back like once every year (or two).
If you can swing it, go back for a short trip... I think it will be cathartic.
Kiwiatx@reddit
This is very very normal. You are on a ride called culture shock and it’s not going to feel good at times. Just hang on and it gets better.
Find a routine. Find some favourite places & favourite things. Explore. Make sure you’re getting enough daylight and buy a SAD lamp because you’re pretty far north and could also be experiencing some seasonal depression.
DefiantSock6417@reddit
+1 to try the SAD lamp. In addition to your culture shock, you are (now) in a cold, dark, rainy place after living in a warm, sunny place for most of your life. Use it each morning, before 10 a.m. It can have amazing results. For example:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/nov/17/the-one-change-that-worked-i-had-sad-and-felt-desperate-until-a-scientist-gave-me-some-priceless-advice
DrunKeN-HaZe_e@reddit
Its the wrong sub to write this.
All you'll get to hear is how much more important it is to be an expat over family, friends, partner.
BodyBy711@reddit
I'm out in New West, you're welcome to come out here and hang out with me and my dog. We're ordering dinner and watching Grey's Anatomy and having a bevy (the dog's been sober his whole life, but his mom likes a pint).
Unfortunately, for longevity I don't think we're your best bet cause we will be relocating to Europe in the new year.
Hang in there ❤️
abovepostisfunnier@reddit
How you’re feeling is extremely normal. People think culture shock is something that happens immediately but it really happens over several months. If you still feel this way in six months or so then yeah, maybe living abroad isn’t right for you, but give it some more time.