Anxiety and Regret
Posted by Overall_Importance86@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 19 comments
I have moved to the UK from Canada on a visa, and I’ve only been here for a few months so I try to factor that in with myself, however I feel more anxiety everyday and I’m afraid I regret my decision. I love certain aspects like the people and nature, and I have a job that I like as well, but I can’t stop myself from looking at rentals back in Canada. I don’t want to give up early and feel like I regret that as well, but I don’t know what to do with my mental health at the moment. Any Advice?
Holiday_Ad5952@reddit
The UK isn’t what it used to be unfortunately
Miss_Dark_Splatoon@reddit
Europe is messed up, crime is skyrocketing and women are unsafe in multiple eu countries
Flustered-Flump@reddit
Which country is?! Damn shame what Boris and Farage did. Thatcher and Cameron didn’t help much either!
Material-Crab8907@reddit
Please elaborate?
paulross14@reddit
First of all moving to another country is the most stressful thing ever! And can you get used to it easily?? Absolutely NO ! In most cases it takes years to get adjusted or even worse…. So your few months there means nothing , give it more time! Also for someone to leave their own country, must really not wanting to be there.
rayofgreenlight@reddit
Have you thought about going back to Canada for a week or two to visit your friends and family, money permitting? If you really miss Canada I'd try to stick it out until you've been in the UK for one year, so at least you can say you tried. And your longing for Canada could disappear in that timeframe.
I did the opposite to you. I did UK to Canada and moved back to the UK after almost 2 years in Canada. It's just not the country for me, unfortunately. I started wanting to go back home about 1.5 years in. Maybe I'm not helping but basically I'm saying your feelings could change wildly over time. For good or bad, you don't know what's around the corner. You might love the UK in a month's time.
MirabellaJean962@reddit
Hard to advise aas you don't talk about what your actual issue with the UK is, people are good, your job is good, aren't those the most important things?
I would also slightly go against most of the advice you received here, if you really can't find your place and it doesn't click, feel free to leave. There's no secret timer which will magically make it all amazing at the 1 year mark specifically. Changing your mind doesn't equal failure.
hungry-axolotl@reddit
Sounds like culture shock, on the brightside atleast you can speak the local language. Making friends should make this feeling go away
tr0028@reddit
I've moved to several countries. Have a serious conversation with yourself about how long you are willing to sacrifice. My general mantra is that I can stand anything for a year. Commit to making some changes that will improve yourself, regardless of where you are (mine we're stopping drinking, getting more exercise, volunteering - YMMV). Then if you reach your specified time period and you're still unhappy, move.
I will say I moved UK to Canada and it took a long time for me to settle in. For two countries with so much shared history, they are very different cultures.
Ladline69@reddit
Find a therapist
Feisty-Afternoon-757@reddit
I read it usually takes an an expat 4 years to make a new place feel like home, get settled. As a Canadian I was in Germany for a year but the low wages drew me back. Online dating apps helped with socializing and joining some local groups/hobby clubs need to keep busy and find a routine the gym always helps.
madeleinegnr@reddit
How long have you been there? Whenever I moved to a new country I knew I’d probably feel very alone and unsettled for at least 6 months to a year. Then things generally got better. If you’re really not feeling well and you have a good support system in Canada, maybe go home. Your mental health is more important than a visa.
double_wheeled@reddit
Try to get to the summer at least, the first 3 months after the honey moon weeks are the hardest. Try to integrate into low pressure activities like hobbies and thing you used to do in Canada, examples can dancing classes, running/hiking groups, and things like that, ideally with more people. Talk to other expats as well, they may know some tips and tricks in the UK to get thought the first months.
recurrence@reddit
What was different with your life in Canada?
rostbrot@reddit
Just going to echo what's been said, but the adjustment time is real and it often takes 3-5 years for a new country or region to start to feel like home. I'd say give it at least a year or two and see how you feel about it then. If you're still unhappy maybe the move isn't for you and you can go back confidently and understand why.
In the meantime try to be present where you are and stop habitually looking back. Canada isn't going anywhere, it will still be there if you change your mind in 1, 5, or 20 years.
Complaintsdept123@reddit
Another negativity bot.
Dodge1o0@reddit
What you’re experiencing is normal. Just try to focus on the reason you came here in the first place. I was in the same boat as you a year ago after moving from Canada to the UK. People don’t realize how difficult and stressful it is when you start a new life in a new country and homesickness is real for the first few months as you sort things out. Give it a year it’ll get better and you’ll stop looking in the rearview mirror. Every time I’m in the pub having a conversation with a stranger or greeting someone on a walking trail I remember “oh yeah, that’s why I came here”. It’s for the things you can’t get in Canada anymore. Plus you’re just coming into Christmas time which is an excellent time of year here.
Flustered-Flump@reddit
I went the other direction back in 2012 and it took close to a year to settle in a feel comfortable. Was there a total of 3 years and then returned back to the UK (and since moved to the US). My wife and I were close to shutting it down after a few months but we are glad we stayed in the end - met some wonderful people were are still in contact with as well as our best friends.
Not sure where you are in the UK but you should give it at least a year for you to get used to things, form some friendships and find some favorite spots for food, drink. Take a day trip or two out of the area over the weekend and use the country-wide train system. Exposure is your best bet for now, I think.
Whilst immigrating is hard, it is worth it in the end. You may not love it and leave in the end but at least you will have had this experience and learned a lot about yourself. And be better prepared for when you do it next.
BCBenji1@reddit
Keep calm and carry on.