I was told it matters what last name goes first if a newborn, is that true?

Posted by zector96@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 220 comments

From Texas, but me and my wife are of Hispanic background, we recently had a newborn and we decided to give him both our last names. (Her last name) - (my last name) After signing the paperwork and birth certificate, we were told by her parents that it should’ve been the other way around. To my Hispanics does it really matter what way it is ? Apparently to them on paperwork it’ll look like he only has one parent since her last name only pops up on the baby paperwork, I figured I’m on the birth certificate and he still has my last name it should be fine?

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220 Comments

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Sweaty_Presentation4@reddit

My ex from El Salvador says it should be the woman’s they carried the baby and the only one that can prove it is their kid. I don’t really care I think you should decide together. But I had to admit she did have a point.

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New-Cicada7014@reddit

Also in Texas, never heard of this rule before

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visitor987@reddit

It the US normally its wife-husbands name. and the parents often change their last names to match as well. With the SSA computer system there is a limit of about 25 characters on last name.

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Adorable-East-2276@reddit

Standard Spanish naming convention is Given Names, father’s surname, mother’s surname, with the father’s surname acting as the primary last name. These days, in the vast majority of Latin America, this is a convention not a rule. About 90-95% of kids use this order, but that doesn’t mean you have to. I would think about which surname you plan on using on a day to day basis, but the order is no big deal

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DiscontentDonut@reddit

I've seen more and more like my partner, as well, where the mother's surname is often used as an additional middle name, and the father's surname is the child's surname.

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ThePolemicist@reddit

This was done a lot in America as well. Well, not always the mother's maiden name, but different family members' last names. So, a kid might have been John Smith Jones, and the middle name Smith was his mother's maiden name. Then maybe another kid was Richard Brown Jones, and Brown was maybe the paternal grandmother's maiden name. Basically, any family name could be used as the middle name. It makes genealogy work easier, I'll tell you!

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SuperPanda6486@reddit

There was a vogue (especially in the South) to take the mother’s maiden name as a middle name, and then use the middle name as one’s common name. It’s a handsome way to honor mom’s family while also differentiating among family members who share a common first name. Strom Thurmond comes to mind. Full name was James Strom Thurmond, but he always went by Strom which was his mother’s maiden name (Laura Jeanne) Reese Witherspoon is another.

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ThePolemicist@reddit

It also used to be common for women to make their middle name their own maiden name when they got married. If a woman used to be Jane Elizabeth Jones and then got married to John Smith, she might have changed her name to Jane Jones Smith. The name wasn't hyphenated because "Jones" was the new middle name, not part of the surname.

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jonesnori@reddit

Yes, my mother and my sisters did this when marrying. The original middle name was no longer used.

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jonesnori@reddit

I have an uncle who was named this way, and they did call him by the middle name. He was not a Jr, though. Other middle names were frequently maiden names from women further back in the family.

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Al_Bondigass@reddit

Yes indeed. My full name is Al Grapejelly Bondigass because that was my great-great-grandmother's name back in the 1800s. Every first-born son in the family has been stuck with it since... until now, because I'm childfree. (It's not really Grapejelly but that's what everyone thinks about as soon as they hear it. Took a lot of shit for that on the playground back in the day.)

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BirdBrain_99@reddit

Were you that Smuckers kid?

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Al_Bondigass@reddit

LOL-- good guess, but no. (Hint: rhymes with "felch.")

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BirdBrain_99@reddit

Ah of course, Welch.

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Al_Bondigass@reddit

Got it. Not the worst middle name in the world, but I'd have been happier with Bill or George or anything but Sue.

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jonesnori@reddit

I understood that reference!

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No_Water_5997@reddit

My mother’s family if from Colombia and that how she did our names. Her surname acted as more of a secondary middle name than it did a first last name for me and my siblings. In fact when I got married I dropped my first middle name, loved her surname into that spot and put my maiden name as a second middle name right before my married name.

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IDunnoWhatToPutHereI@reddit

I did this with my son. It was a way to honor my Dad while still giving my son my husband’s last name. My son is just First Middle Last with the middle being my maiden name. My husband has First Middle Dad’s Last Mom’s Last and it feels too long to me. However, we are now in Colombia and people thought I messed up our son’s paperwork. You just can’t win when naming a kid. Haha

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nostrademons@reddit

Note that it's the opposite among Americans who hyphenate their last names: the most common approach is Given Mother-Father. The full hyphenated name appears on most legal docs, eg. that's what they'll show up as in school directories, that's what's on their driver's license, what they'll fly under, what their workplace Intranet will list them as, etc. There seem to be multiple levels of cultural confusion at play here. The Spanish naming convention is Given Father Mother (no hyphen), the American naming convention (which he used) is Given Mother-Father (hyphenated). His wife's family is worried that they will drop Mother because traditional American (Spanish too?) culture is to use only the last name, which would be Father if the name was Given Mother Father. However, Americans generally do not drop or separate parts of a hyphenated last name. Whenever you have a "last name" field, you put in the both names and the hyphen, i.e. "Mother-Father". And it would appear that way in basically all contexts. So as far as life *in America* is concerned, the wife's family's fears are unfounded. But it could very well get confusing when going back to traditional Hispanic contexts.

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macoafi@reddit

No, in both languages shortening is typically done to include the father’s name and drop the mother’s. Spanish speakers shorten to their FIRST family name. So they’re worried that someone meeting the kid and the dad will go “oh, kid’s short name isn’t dad’s? Awkward.”

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nostrademons@reddit

No, that only applies to non-hyphenated American names, where the mother's name is used as a *middle* name. Examples of those are Franklin Delano Roosevelt or John Fitzgerald Kennedy. With hyphenated last names like Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Catherine Zeta-Jones, or Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you never drop the mother's name. Their hyphenated last name *is* their last name, as a unit. You would say Mr. Gordon-Levitt or Ms. Zeta-Jones, never Mr. Levitt or Ms. Jones.

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__smashleyy@reddit

you’re speaking in definitives but let me tell you. My last name is hyphenated. Mother last- father’s last. i exclusively go by my mothers last. So much so that many of my long time friends didn’t even know i had a second last name.

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macoafi@reddit

Just because they aren’t hyphenated doesn’t make it a middle name. My in-laws gave their children two last names, no hyphen. First Middle Mother’s Father’s

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Nan_Mich@reddit

Yes. And it is common, I was told by my lawyer when I got a divorce in Louisiana for women to use their maiden names as middle names. He said that in Louisiana, my legal name was Nan Maiden Marriedname. I don’t know if this is a Louisiana-only convention from their French heritage, or if it is a Southern thing. I liked it so much that I continue it in my second marriage. I am Nan Maiden Married#2 here in Michigan and people try to hyphenate it all the time! I have to emphasize that it is my middle name.

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Crazy-Cremola@reddit

There is a difference between "legal name" and convention for how people are adressed. I'm sure a lot of your teachers were actually named "Ms/Mr Smith Jones" but you only said "Ms/Mr Jones". Presiden John Fitzgerald Kennedy's legal name was that < , but you don't *say* President Fitzgerald Kennedy. But if his name had been hyphenated you would maybe sigh because it was long, but that had been one name and it had been used in full.

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Nan_Mich@reddit

I did not make it clear that in Louisiana my legal name had my maiden name as my middle name, not a last name.

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Buckets86@reddit

When I got married I added my husband’s last name to mine and I emphatically did NOT hyphenate, because a hyphenated last name is one last name, whereas two last names are two separate last names. I use both on legal or official stuff but mostly go by my birth name in life. A lot of agencies are not equipped to have two separate, unhyphenated last names. Social security office did it right, but the CA DMV smooshed them together into 1 giant compound name and my bank added a hyphen anyway. 🙄

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zgillet@reddit

Exhibit A: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander.

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No_Foundation7308@reddit

And then when they choose to get married (female) then the mothers surname name traditionally falls off and they take their partners last name in its place.

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Natural-Many8387@reddit

Somewhat related follow up question, but how does the hyphenated last name thing work when marriage & kids happen? If someone wants to take their spouses last name, do they take the only thing or only part? When they have kids, how do they pick which of the parents surnames to use? Is it like Dad is a Smith-Williams Mom is a Miller-Johnson and baby becomes Smith-Miller?

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Key_Computer_5607@reddit

I know this question is about American usage, but I am a great big nerd, so I want to share that in the UK, especially in the land-owning classes, it's common to keep all four last names. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-barrelled_name#Quadruple-_and_quintuple-barrelled_surnames

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Dorianscale@reddit

Yes exactly how you describe. Kids get Smith Miller, it’s not typically hyphenated in my experience, just Given Name (Middle Name) 1st Surname 2nd Surname Yes typically the fathers first surname and the moms first surname becomes the kids surnames. In the modern day this rule is pretty flexible. You can pick whatever order you want, use a parents second surname instead, etc. My husband and I are gay for example so we just picked the surname we prefer to go first and another surname second, with the intention that the second one eventually gets dropped. (The forms unfortunately still often say “fathers first surname” and “mothers second surname”) I’ve also known single mothers who pass both their last names on to their kids.

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

In Latin America, the women don’t really take the husband’s last name. So that part remains unchanged. The paternal last name is the one that gets passed down. The maternal line surname eventually dies. Say Jose Gomez Ramos has a child with Ana Torres Martinez. The child will be Gomez Torres. The first last names are traditionally the paternal last names. Those are the ones that get passed down. Second last names change/die out.

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rafaelthecoonpoon@reddit

This is the correct answer. The traditional naming in Spain combines the father's and mother's patrilineal surname. You will notice that the matrilineal name gets dropped.

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vt2022cam@reddit

Not all of Latin American, Spanish speaking areas. Brazil does the mother’s name first traditionally.

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CommercialWorried319@reddit

My ex for Texas paperwork (she's from Mexico but most paperwork doesn't allow all her names) goes First, Mother's Maiden, My Last. Before we married and for most things it was First, Middle, then mothers maiden-fathers last Our kids have the standard US way of First, middle, my last. Just easier, and I'm from the US so it was the way I'm used to doing it.

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markmakesfun@reddit

Not Hispanic, but, when figuring out my son’s last names, I campaigned for my last name to be first simply because I thought it sounded better and read better that way. We weren’t worrying about any traditional name order. It hasn’t had any ill effect on my son whatsoever.

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Tedanty@reddit

My wife is Latina but I am not. My kids have just my (and hers since she has my last name) last name. But a lot of her family, the dad’s name comes before the mom’s last name so if I had to guess, that is what they are talking about. It’s the typical “standard” and maybe it’ll confuse others?

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sapphireminds@reddit

Usually the "primary" (or father's) last name goes first.

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strawbeebop@reddit

I have a hyphenated last name. My mom's maiden name went first because it flowed better. I've always either used my full surname, or have been able to choose which one to go by. Only issue I have is with online forms that don't accept a hyphen lol

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Prize_Consequence568@reddit

*"I was told it matters what last name goes first if a newborn, is that true?"* For some people yes for some people no.

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QueenSketti@reddit

??????????????????? Im so lost

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ProfessionalBat8843@reddit

When I got married I lived in New York City, USA. My maiden name was “Smith”. Because I married , I was legally allowed to keep my last name as “Smith”, take my husband’s last name of “Jones” or hyphenate my last name to “Smith-Jones” without any extra paperwork other than alerting about regular name change info. However, if I had wanted to hyphenate my last name to “Jones-Smith”, with his name first, or make up a new name combo like “Smones”, I would have had to go through official legal name change channels before the court system. I’ve always thought that was really interesting.

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Begoniasscarlet6223@reddit

I was named with Hispanic naming conventions. Americans will always default to the second name (in my case, my father’s).

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PAXICHEN@reddit

All of the hyphenated people I know are Mom’s Name-Dad’s Name.

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ForestOranges@reddit

I see this pattern with Americans who just wanted to give their kids both last names. Traditional Hispanic naming customs goes dad’s last name then mom’s last name. The only people I know who did it the way you described are white Americans.

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Olivia_O@reddit

My kid is dad's name-mom's name simply because the other way around is too difficult to pronounce.

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misoranomegami@reddit

We did it dad then mom for our son because that way had a nice flow and the other way had this weird repetition where the end of my name sounds like the start of his.

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AbeLincolns_Ghost@reddit

My favorite is a friend whose mom’s last was Char and dad’s last name was Lee. I think everyone is glad they went with his mom’s name first, because Char-Lee (pronounced Charlie) is way better than Lee-Char

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GoldFreezer@reddit

I hyphenated when I married my ex, we just put them in alphabetical order. If there had been kids that's what they would have had too.

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steviehatillo@reddit

That’s the traditional American way of combining two last names. Latin/Hispanic cultures have a different tradition. They don’t hyphen the names, they just have 2 surnames. The father’s is traditionally first. Definitely an interesting question for Ask an American.

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

Yep, if I see a hyphenated name I know it’s really an Americanized way of trying to do a Latin American double barreled name in most occasions.

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lolCLEMPSON@reddit

Spanish way is not hyphenated, it's two last names, one of which gets passed on to children.

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AndreaTwerk@reddit

I work in a school that is 75% Hispanic. The students are alphabetized by their first last name (dad’s in most cases).

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italian_gurl@reddit

Damn 75% Hispanic.

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AndreaTwerk@reddit

Damn?

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FireFoxTrashPanda@reddit

I'm choosing to interpret it as "wow"

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AndreaTwerk@reddit

Any reaction is weird

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ProfessionalPlant636@reddit

It can genuinely be a cultural shock depending on what part of the country you're from.

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AndreaTwerk@reddit

I live in Massachusetts. Latinos live everywhere.

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italian_gurl@reddit

Growing up I didn’t know any Latinos. Shocked to hear 75% in a school in the US

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AndreaTwerk@reddit

Why are you spending your time on Reddit complaining that Florida has a lot of Spanish speakers?

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ProfessionalPlant636@reddit

It's reasonable depending on the region you live in. Where Im from, we have plenty of latinos, but nowhere is there near a majority of them. The second largest racial group are black Americans, then followed by hispanics. But from my understanding, in some places in the far west, there are some majority latino communities. So it can be a bit of a culture shock.

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FireFoxTrashPanda@reddit

Yeah, I come from a town with a similar makeup and would also be like wow, 75% is high compared to the demographics in my hometown. I think the person I was replying to took more of an issue with it though haha

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PickleMundane6514@reddit

My kid has an American style name living in Mexico and school keeps calling her First Name Middle Name.

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Squirrel179@reddit

I'm a non-Hispanic white American, and I was given a hyphenated name by my parents. My mom's was first, and my dad's was second. There was never a "primary" surname; the whole thing was my last name, and it was never reduced to one or the other. The only way it was ever abbreviated was as H-D. When I used my initials it was always AHD, or if including my middle name, AMHD. I don't know anything about Hispanic cultural naming conventions, but in my experience order was arbitrary, and both sides of the hyphen were always included on everything. It was never shortened to just one half of my name.

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1nfinite_Zer0@reddit

I'ma put this under a new lens for everyone. You should do them alphabetically, so when someone is looking for the kids contact 5 years from now it will be closer to the top :)

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thechurchchick@reddit

I would have done your last name first simply for the fact you would have the same last initial

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bobshallprevail@reddit

I'm a banker so I use legal names with my clients. I've found the Hispanic naming situation depends on the country and only matters to the client on the order. Well except it's easier on me with the Mexicans because I'm going to ask for mother's Maiden name and with them I am already typing the second last name as they tell me.

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grimblacow@reddit

It mattered to me because I carried the full risk. Men carry 0 risk in pregnancy, birth, postpartum. My bits ripped to get these children into the world. I and almost every womb-bearing person will usually carry most of the brunt of child rearing while also working. This continues into the teens and adulthood. Knowing all that, it is only fair that my name comes first as I’m putting way more into the group project in all stages and my children’s father cannot refute that.

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abmbulldogs@reddit

I have no idea about what is “correct,” but I’m a teacher in Alabama and see my students’ names on rosters, etc. all the time. My Hispanic students typically always have two last names and are alphabetized using the first last name, but the second last name is listed behind it so that both show up. I have never really thought about whose name comes first, but both names typically show up on my roll.

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PennyForPig@reddit

For most white Americans, you just get your father's last name regardless of your gender and without regard to your mother's surname.

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ThinWhiteRogue@reddit

Matters to whom?

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zector96@reddit (OP)

Honestly it doesn’t matter to me, but my wife on the other is panicking over the last name

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BearsLoveToulouse@reddit

Yes- plus it might sound weird depending on the last name. My friend had parents who gave her both of their last names. If the flipped the last names it really would have sounded funny.

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LeastSubstance4114@reddit

You can leave it or hyphenate if you want both names. Problem is, in the U.S., you can have only one official last name, while in Latin America and in Spain, you legally have 2 last names. So you have to pick here in the U.S. BTW, if you ever register your kids births in a LA country (or Spain), you won't get a choice, you will list your last name first, and her last name second. Ultimately you are living in the U.S., so use the U.S. standard.

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zcakt@reddit

This is not true. Plenty of immigrants to the US keep both of their surnames and many states allow 2 surnames with or without hyphen on a birth certificate. Additionally you are incorrect about Spain. You can register your child's surnames in either order.

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sleepygrumpydoc@reddit

Why is she panicking though? Like what is the actual concern, just tradition or something else. You live in a state with a decent population of people with 2 last names, I can't imagine she would be the only kid with 2 last names. I am in California and every single one of my family members that was given 2 last names has both on 100% of all their paperwork. Traditionally the standard was fathers 1st last name mothers 1st last name but its not a hard and fast rule in the US. I can't speak for Mexico but in Spain since 2017 parents can choose the order of their last names, it is no longer required father than mother. Primer Apellido and Segundo Apellido. So if one day she decides to move to Spain, unless rules change, she wouldn't be required have to switch the order there but could if she chooses.

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Rosamada@reddit

I was just looking up Hispanic countries' naming laws for another comment, and found that [Ecuador](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.eluniverso.com/noticias/ecuador/puede-ir-el-apellido-de-la-madre-primero-al-inscribir-un-nino-en-ecuador-nota/&ved=2ahUKEwjSzIur79mQAxVNg4kEHVkiHzYQFnoECCsQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3A_UkZw-57j82UO2JGzep6), [Mexico, Argentina, Uruguay,](https://www.univision.com/explora/5-paises-en-los-que-se-permite-el-apellido-materno-como-primer-apellido) [Spain,](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.exteriores.gob.es/Consulados/SAOPAULO/es/ServiciosConsulares/Documents/Nota%2520aclaratoria%2520sobre%2520cambio%2520de%2520apellidos.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiql4my8NmQAxXYD1kFHUQMAw8QFnoECAgQBQ&usg=AOvVaw29aqYtGOtsY_u5pCCmldUL) [Bolivia,](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://ibce.org.bo/principales-noticias-bolivia/noticias-nacionales-detalle.php%3Fid%3D48504%26idPeriodico%3D1%26fecha%3D2014-11-20&ved=2ahUKEwipisOq8dmQAxUgFVkFHWSuIr0QFnoECDkQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3SZbkxB8IFVGfsSHq7_Hg1) [Peru,](https://larepublica.pe/sociedad/2024/09/19/ahora-los-peruanos-pueden-llevar-el-apellido-de-la-madre-primero-en-el-dni-conoce-en-que-casos-aplica-segun-la-ley-evat-ntpe-1746708) [Chile,](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.facebook.com/gobiernodechile/posts/el-orden-de-los-apellidos-tambi%25C3%25A9n-puede-ser-una-elecci%25C3%25B3npadres-y-madres-deciden-/1091293613114628/&ved=2ahUKEwielOGt8tmQAxU5KFkFHYyNN6gQFnoECGgQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2Zzd_BicBda5cayW-qfja_) [Costa Rica,](https://cnnespanol.cnn.com/2024/01/25/costa-rica-elimina-obligacion-apellido-padre-primero-nombre-orix) and [Colombia,](https://www.funcionpublica.gov.co/eva/gestornormativo/norma.php?i=167986) allow the mother's last name to be the first last name. Then I got tired of searching, but I bet there are more. Most of these countries only started allowing this within the past few years, so it seems to be quite the hot legislative trend 😝

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nope-its@reddit

This is random but when your child registers for school make sure you put both names in the last name spot (hyphenated). A fair bit of Hispanic parents don’t do this when registering and the child only has one last name listed throughout school.

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riarws@reddit

If it doesn’t matter to you and it does matter to your wife, you may as well go with what she wants.

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fasterthanfood@reddit

I think the problem is that the paperwork giving the baby a name is already signed. The wife presumably didn’t realize the significance until her parents explained it, but now it would be a big hassle to change. I think if they had it to do over again, OP and his wife wouldn’t hesitate to put the father’s name first. The question is more, “should we be freaking out now?” And, while the baby’s grandparents have a role, that’s really something OP and his wife have to decide for themselves.

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-Moose_Soup-@reddit

I could be wrong, but I would be surprised if it's a difficult process to change the name of a newborn if you have the consent of both parents.

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Deolater@reddit

In _Georgia_ it's easy and free to change a baby's name for the first year.

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LeastSubstance4114@reddit

Exactly, just do a "correction" form, adding a hyphen between the two last names.

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Oenonaut@reddit

Certainly seems like it would be less of a hassle now than after the original name starts appearing on doctor's and school records.

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lavasca@reddit

I get it. I’m from California not Texas and my Godparents are from Mexico. Kids got treated much worse by teachers et cetera if they were thought to be born out of wedlock in our neck of the woods. I can’t say that is truly a Hispanic thing, it probably was just localized to that suburb. Document things such that it is clear to everyone the kid is likely to encounter that the child has two married parents. I feel sad that kids even have to deal with the consequences.

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

The vast majority of children in Latin America are born out of wedlock. Most are in cohabitation relationships. Also, the last names don’t indicate if the parents are married or not. The father just has to legally sign his name to the birth certificate. Marital status is irrelevant. My parents weren’t married when they had us and we have our dad’s last name. By all accounts, we looked “legitimate” on paper despite not having married parents.

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lavasca@reddit

Good to hear. I was just about to make a silly assumption. I grew up in a suburb full of rectums so I am always questioning reasons. Thankyou for clarifying.

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Creepy_Push8629@reddit

It doesn't matter then. In the US, your kid has your wife's last name. It's totally fine and literally doesn't matter.

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combabulated@reddit

It’s important to her folks and it’s important to your wife, so I’d say don’t argue with your child’s mother, especially now, be agreeable. Don’t contribute to a new mother’s panicking. You take care of it Dad.

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Illustrious-Okra-524@reddit

I think it’s cool that you did it that way

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Status-Biscotti@reddit

ThinWhiteRogue brings up a good point. Either way is legal, and your the dad no matter if the baby has your last name or not. I (f) went back to my maiden name after I got dovirced, so my name is different from my sons’.

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wendydarlingpan@reddit

While your wife’s parents are correct about the traditional order being dad’s surname then mom’s surname, this is not broadly true in the U.S. In general, people will use both surnames here and not abbreviate like is common in Latin American. (Like Elias Camacho Guerrero being Elias Camacho G.) Latinx folks may assume mom’s family name is the second one but I don’t think it will be that big of a deal, except to older generations. We have a double barrel last name and chose the order that flows better. For us that happened to be mom’s surname then dad’s surname, so “Darling Pan.” The alternative, “Pan Darling” just didn’t sound as good to us.

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idonthavanickname@reddit

Her last name is both of yours with the hyphen so it doesn’t really matter. In Hispanic countries it would’ve mattered. But she doesn’t really have two last names here, she just has one long last name.

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ATLien_3000@reddit

Kind of depends on what circles you do/will move in to me. American/Gringo convention (especially in the southeastern US) for someone wanting to include mom's name (but not in some cheesy hyphenated way) is "first name" "mom's last name" "dad's last name", with mom's last name being the kid's middle name. Latino convention as mentioned is for the names to be flipped (dad's last name in the middle, mom's at the end).

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HighwaySetara@reddit

Hyphenating is cheesy?

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ATLien_3000@reddit

No question. And I say that as a southerner where I know women with hyphenated first names too.

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PrincessMuk@reddit

If it’s hyphenated, then the full last name should show up on everything, no?

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counteraxe@reddit

The hospital paperwork will only have her last name for the baby for the immediate newborn period. The birth certificate will formally name the baby but that doesn't override the hospital system having them as baby Moms last name.

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bookshelfie@reddit

In Hispanic culture, yes, his name goes first. This makes me wonder why did you want to practice a tradition that you are clearly disconnected from?

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ants_taste_great@reddit

Also in Texas. We got a birth form from the hospital that showed he was ours, but if I remember correctly we went.to either the Secretary of State or DMV and filled out an official birth certificate and applied for his SSN at the same time. I think you can just apply online as well. Nobody is going to think she's a single mom if you do mom-dad. Some families it's just traditional. I think I asked and they basically said we could give him whatever name we wanted, doesn't even need our names, as long as we had proof he was ours. (We went the standard dad-mom route). There are a couple NFL players, their fathers last name is Brown, but filled out St. Brown because he new they would be great 😆

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kelariy@reddit

Most of the Hispanic I’ve asked about it in the past have said that usually it’s father’s name-mother’s name and that they typically use just the father’s last name in casual situations.

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madogvelkor@reddit

Right, that's the most common. But most Anglos not realizing would call him Carlos Garcia.

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rosey830@reddit

My Hispanic husband’s last name is hyphenated father-mother. When we got married I didn’t want to go from a 4 letter name to a long hyphenated name, especially since he primarily introduces himself with just father. But in OR when filing out the marriage certificate, non of the options were father. I could do father-mother, mother, mine-father-mother, but not simply father. Required court order name change after the fact.

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fleetiebelle@reddit

I'm as white as snow, and I always understood that for double-barreled Hispanic names it goes: Father's last name - Mother's last name

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HarlequinKOTF@reddit

Another white guy here, my Mexican in laws do mother's last name - father's last name.

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majesticrhyhorn@reddit

Mexican here and my family’s only ever done mother’s last name-father’s last name for the past several generations, even before migrating to the US

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Effective-Scratch673@reddit

I thought that was not possible until recently in Mexico (Moms last name first) ?

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majesticrhyhorn@reddit

I’m not entirely sure because it’s all I’ve ever known! My great great great grandmother’s name was in that format and she was born in 1850 in Coahuila, Mx

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

That’s not the norm. It’s cool they did that way but it’s not the established or traditional way in Spain or Mexico or for Spanish speaking countries.

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Background_Humor5838@reddit

That's so interesting because my Guatemalan brother in law's name goes father's first then mother's and he says that's how it is with everyone where he is from. Could vary from region to region or country to country though.

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HarlequinKOTF@reddit

I also know filipinos and they do it like I described too so the Spanish influence probably varied.

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madogvelkor@reddit

Yeah, most Anglo Americans on seeing a non- hyphenated surname will assume only the last part is the surname. So the mother's last name gets used rather than the father's.

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Deolater@reddit

Half-mexican guy here but still super white, and this is what I was taught in Spanish class. All my ancestors switched to anglo naming when they moved here.

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zector96@reddit (OP)

Me being a Hispanic I never knew this until recently

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Suppafly@reddit

Father's surname last is probably a little easier in the US, because a lot of systems still only recognize one last name and father's last name is the norm in the US. I think that is why you are getting conflicting answers, some are following the Hispanic tradition for double last names and some are doing it the American way.

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lakas76@reddit

I think it’s the opposite. The first last name (before the -) is usually the last name that the child goes by in American schools. My stepson had his mom’s last name then dash, and his dad’s last name. He only ever went by his mom’s last name in school and even when flying, he only went by his mom’s last name (I have always booked his flights and even now as an adult, it’s his mom’s last name only).

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DreamCrusher914@reddit

But most Hispanics don’t hyphenate the two last names, so father’s last name becomes a middle name by American standards, and mother’s last name becomes the last name on official documents. It’s the lack of hyphen that creates the issue. For what it’s worth, all of the Mexican Americans I know use the mother’s last name as the middle name, and father’s last name as the last name. They want the kids to be known by the father’s last name, but don’t hyphenate, so they have honored their culture but also fit into the American way of naming kids.

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meowmix778@reddit

Are you a no sabo kid ? No judgement. I am, and I just notice a lot of other Hispanic people who don't know the ins and outs are.

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zector96@reddit (OP)

Your fine lolI can speak Spanish but I’m not too familiar with my culture as much anymore, haven’t visited Mexico in a very long time and my parents well they’ve never really been interested in teaching me a lot of our culture

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meowmix778@reddit

I get it. My dad told me that basically everything in Puerto Rico was bad and I never went until I was in middle school. I was kept away from the customs and traditions to a place where I worry about my children understanding more about what they are and where they are from.

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EricTheLinguist@reddit

Just kind of to restate what was written above, the super traditional Spanish naming custom will look like this: Father: José Zúñiga Sánchez Mother: Isabella García Ruiz Child: Antonio Zúñiga García That is to say, the paternal surnames are passed down with the father's paternal surname coming first, and the mother's paternal surname coming second. While many Latin American countries share this tradition, the civil registration requirements and norms there have changed over time, so basically this is a long way to say sometimes there's a legal component in countries of origin, in the US it's purely cultural.

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TooManyDraculas@reddit

Screen credits are given per the person's preference. Provided they don't clash with another guild member (assuming the person is in a guild). He was credited as Alejandro González Iñárritu formally until 2014. And Alejandro G. Iñárritu is his formal credit styling there after. That *might* have driven by press, not just Anglophone press, referring to him just as "Iñárritu". But he used his full name from the start. Likely because Alejandro González just runs up against there being a shit ton of Alejandro Gonzálezes in the world.

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lolCLEMPSON@reddit

Most of Anglo Media have no idea how this works. Good example is Helio Castroneves, who's name is actually Helio Alves de Castro Neves. Anglo media called him Helio Neves, so he just combined the names to make it less confusing for whitey.

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pookapotomus2@reddit

My husband is Mexican. Typically is first, middle, dads last name, hyphen, moms last name. So like Mark John Smith-Thompson

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Lavender_r_dragon@reddit

Did you hyphenate or not? My understanding is John Smith Jones : smith will be treated as a middle name, jones as the last name. So he could go by John Jones or John S. Jones. John Smith-Jones : Smith-Jones will be treated as the last name. If you want both families represented equally hyphenated is the way to do it Which one goes first or second in a hyphenated name is, as far as I know, a matter for the parents to decide but there maybe cultural factors to consider. If not hyphenated it matters because only the one will be used regularly.

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zector96@reddit (OP)

It’s hyphenated, when we signed the birth certificate we didn’t take to account culture, it wasn’t until my In-laws told us.

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marythegr8@reddit

It’s possible if you are still at the hospital that you can speak to the registrar about the paperwork. Or potentially mistakes. If home you could call and ask if they filed it already.

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zector96@reddit (OP)

It’s hyphenated, when we signed the birth certificate we didn’t take to account culture, it wasn’t until my In-laws told us.

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WulfTheSaxon@reddit

If it’s hyphenated and not two separate words then both parts will always appear in the US – it’s considered one name. For future reference, if it’s over 21 characters then you’ll need to use the online passport form instead of the paper version.

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tetrasodium@reddit

I have no idea what the order implies -but- would very much appreciate if the result was easier to say or write if my parents had done something like that to me and saddled me wtan eighteen plus hyphen character last name

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Why_Teach@reddit

In Spanish custom, the father’s surname goes first, the mother’s second. The primary surname is the father’s.

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HobsHere@reddit

Whatever you choose, when you decide how to fit it in the First Middle Last format, stick with that. Using different arrangements of a name on different documents will cause all kinds of bother with driver's licenses, taxes, insurance, flying, etc.

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FrostyIcePrincess@reddit

I have my dads last name first, then my moms last name. I wasn’t born in the US. My sister was born in the US. She only has my dads last name.

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crujiente69@reddit

Most people will just assume you and your wife have the opposite last names in a latin american country if thats impotant to you

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Karen125@reddit

My Latino customers are usually dad's last name then mom's maiden name, even if it's the same, i.e. Jose Hernandez Hernandez.

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macoafi@reddit

Since Hispanic countries don’t typically have the concept of married names, there’s also no maiden names. Just names.

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Tbagzyamum69420xX@reddit

I mean my partner and I plan to hyphenate our children's name if we have any and, though we've never gotten into the "why", we always agreed it would be Hername-Myname. MY reason is two fold and simple: Her last name is alphabetically first and I like the sound of my name on the end. Neither really matters (though having the last name I do, I was always low on alphabetical lists so it adds benefit of being further up said lists, still not very detrimental).

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No_Owl_7380@reddit

Standard is father’s family name, then mother’s family name. My husband is Dominican. I did not take his last name and instead kept my former married name as I had no interest in changing it. He didn’t care. When our daughter was born we decided to just use his first surname because I thought it was weird to give our daughter another man’s last name and hadn’t used my maiden name for over 20 years.

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LastCookie3448@reddit

Nope, can go either way, up to the parents.

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msmigraine@reddit

As a person with compund name + father's last name + mother's last name: do not worry. Your child will cut out whichever part they don't want/don't feel like using lol. I shortened my name and only use one last name on the daily basis, legally I still have the whole long ass name.

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BeckyDaTechie@reddit

This specific case sounds like grandparents overstepping but most of the straight families I know that use a hyphenate use the woman's first, then the man's. That's how I'm doing it for the second time in my remarriage. I did the same in my first marriage, but not on the actual paperwork, so it's not a legal name change for me, just a social one. And technically if I wanted to go Full European Style surnames I'd have like 27 characters to squeak into a space that's designed for 10 so there's no "rule" about it.

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RyouIshtar@reddit

As someone that originally had a hyphenated name. I want to give you some advice I'm not hispanic, but it's something i've dealt with. (Just to keep this less confusing i'm going to outright say that my grandma adopted me when i was younger for reasons so i had both my grandma's and my mom's last name) If you choose to do it hyphenated, KEEP IT HYPHENATED. For some strange reason, my mom and grandma would change WHICH last name I would use depending on different situations. I'm going to guess that schools didn't really care too much if the name matched the birth certificate when I was growing up. It only started to bite me in the butt when i switched schools and states and switched last names doing so, thus lead to missing assignments. Fast forward to 2020 I go to renew my drivers license and get the real ID. My social security card, birth certificate, and drivers license did not match. The people at the DMV had to take my old license because it was technically illegal "How did your SSC not match the BC?" Because you can walk into the South carolina social security office and be like "I need a card, heres my name and my SSN." So i had to get a whole new social security card and had to go back to the DMV to get a real ID.... Anyways, good luck on parenthood <3

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squidgemobile@reddit

Her name popped up in the baby paperwork because in every hospital in the US they will categorize the baby's last name as being the same as mom's last name so they match. It doesn't matter what the last name is ultimately going to be, the hospital will just use moms. And for what it's worth my latino husband has moms then dads, you're not alone.

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eyetracker@reddit

Spanish names are normally Dad-Mom. Portuguese names are normally Mom-Dad. American names, if they use both, are either: hyphenated in either order, but that's your full last name. Or mother's maiden name becomes a middle name. It doesn't matter what you use. Except the Spanish order is confusing for some people so Jose Sanchez Garcia will constantly be called Mr. Garcia after his mother.

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Sensitive_Sea_5586@reddit

I once did a project for a business, the owner was Mexican and had immigrated to the US. It was many years ago, but I understood the mother’s last name was the name that carried forward to the baby. When a man and a woman married, no one changed their name. When they had a baby, the maternal name of both the mother and father became the double name of the child. In that culture, everyone knew who the child’s parents were because the child carried both names. As an American, their method makes more sense to me.

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61Below@reddit

As someone who grew up with the second to last name in my grade (when gd *everything* was done alphabetically) I missed out on things more than once bc they were out by the time I got there. So picking the name closer to the front of the alphabet would be my own tactical choice. Rules are *guidelines*

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brzantium@reddit

Spain records names as [given name] de [paternal surname] y [maternal surname]. The Portuguese do the reverse. Latin American countries have inherited the respective conventions. Though, due to an influx of non-hispanic immigration to these countries in the last century, they've begun to relax naming conventions. Here in Texas, you're allowed to give your child any surname you want so long as it doesn't exceed 100 letters and doesn't include any special characters.

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ZaheenHamidani@reddit

For Hispanic countries 1. father's surname + 2. mother's surname and the father's surname remains (the first one) as long you are a man, if you a woman your last name goes in the end and eventually will be lost. For English countries, rich families use hyphen (1. mother's surname-2. father's surname) and the one that remains is the last one, following the same logic as before.

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voteblue18@reddit

What happens when a Hispanic with 2 last names marries another Hispanic with 2 last names? Does their baby then have 4 last names? When does it end?

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baalroo@reddit

It really doesn't matter. My children have a completely different last name than my wife and me and no one ever bats an eye. You're allowed to name your kids, more or less, however you want.

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zgillet@reddit

You did it the Canadian/American way then. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander. Those Jolie-Pitt kids that I think dropped the Pitt legally.

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drsfmd@reddit

This really isn't an "AskAnAmerican" question, as very, very few non-Hispanics hyphenate names. The convention used by Hispanic Americans has already been explained.

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AdamColligan@reddit

>her last name only pops up on the baby paperwork, If you're saying paperwork that you've seen from the hospital itself, then that part of it could be a misunderstanding. In my experience, the hospital will attach the mother's last name to the newborn throughout the process. Then it takes some time for their systems to be updated to whatever was entered for the birth certificate.

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ntnlwyn@reddit

I was always told it is [FIRST NAME] [FATHER’S] – [MOTHER’S] but it is both the paternal names of the father and mother. Ana Maria **Muñoz**-Hernandez (Mother) Juan **Salazar**-Domínguez (Father) Alma Salazar-Muñoz (Child)

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phydaux4242@reddit

I always thought Hispanic names were /mother’s last name/ /father’s last name/.

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lfxlPassionz@reddit

You can do it however you want really. Mother's last name first is actually great for sticking it to "the man" as in saying you won't let the patriarchal society dictate who gets the credit

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Bluemonogi@reddit

You can apply to make changes to your child’s birth certificate name if you and your wife want to change the order.

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kyliztu@reddit

In American culture, it does not matter. You should be fine. Her parents are probably saying that because they are used to the naming norm in Latin America. Nothing else to it. Do what you want.

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Derwin0@reddit

Convention for Latin American names is father’s then mother’s, so you have it backwards. That said, legally it doesn’t matter.

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Live-Neat5426@reddit

Generally speaking its a really bad idea to hyphenate. That child will never have a simple onboarding experience in their life, it will always create problems and they'll always have to go through extra work to fix it. Just pick one of your last names and stick with it.

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BoldBoimlerIsMyHero@reddit

My Hispanic father in law was very upset that we put my last name before his son’s but I didn’t know that was the rule in Spanish. Growing up in USA, I always saw mom’s name first.

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TurtleSandwich0@reddit

If you decide to have another kid you can switch the order. That way you can be a family with four different last names and everyone can be happy.

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StandByTheJAMs@reddit

My personal opinion is whatever sounds better! Michael Kidwell-Brown sounds better than Michael Brown-Kidwell. If it's a tossup, then it doesn't matter.

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groundhogcow@reddit

In Spanish tradition, females get a hyphenated father then mother's last name to show family lineage. A long line of prominent names is considered honorable. In America, we just do whatever we feel like doing. Most often whatever sounds better.

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

Females? That’s for everyone. You get the paternal last name and then the maternal last name. Female or male as you will say it.

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groundhogcow@reddit

I only know the female rules as they were explained to me. I don't know male rules so I left It out of comment.

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

Are you high? The rules are the same for both genders. The child gets two last names even if they has a vagina or penis. Clear?

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quietlywatching6@reddit

Not Hispanic, but I can explain. While they mentioned it popping up in the system, the reason is more cultural. It gives meaning to your relationship with the families. It automatically says to some my paternal family is A, my maternal side is B. You automatically know which is which and use the correct name for the person's relatives.

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zector96@reddit (OP)

I assumed it would be cultural as my in laws are old school Hispanics and have told the about the order, although they told us too late

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

Even in Latin America, that rule is changing. Now you can put the maternal name first if you want. Though, it’s a new rule and very few people do it. But legally it’s allowed.

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Suppafly@reddit

> although they told us too late It's pretty trivial to change if you really want to follow their example, it might cost like $200 and an hour or two of your time.

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zector96@reddit (OP)

Personally I’m ok with the name but my wife is the one who’s questioning the name

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whoaheywait@reddit

Yes it matters. My brother's name is First middle dads last mother's last. That's the order. So if you did it backwards then your child has your wife's last name technically, not yours.

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StupidLemonEater@reddit

My understanding of Spanish naming conventions is that you did it backwards (but in the correct order for Portuguese). But your right that it doesn't matter, you probably could have given your child any last name you wanted.

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andrewonehalf@reddit

I was confused for a minute because my entire Portuguese family has (mother's last name - father's last name) as the standard naming convention. I didn't realize Spanish did it the other way.

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os2mac@reddit

I give you Picasso's full name: Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso Ruiz y Picasso were his paternal and maternal surnames, respectively, per Spanish custom. in other words do what you want....

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Ladonnacinica@reddit

So since your wife’s last name comes first if you were in Latin America, that’ll be the primary name. People will assume that’s the father’s last name. So you did it backwards. You guys did it more the American way. I’ve noticed that here in the USA, people use the last surname as the “real” last name. For example, I’m a teacher and have students who are recent immigrants from Venezuela, Dominican Republic, Nicaragua. They have two last names and the first one is their father’s name. But the staff tends to use their second last name (maternal) because they default to seeing it as the “real last name”. In most of Latin America is the opposite. If it matters to you, you could switch it. If not, it’s immaterial. For what it’s worth, most of us of Hispanic descent that have been here for awhile only have one surname. Typically, the recent immigrants have it but many also change it later. My mom removed her own last name from my name when we immigrated because she thought two surnames in the USA was cumbersome. Now, I legally only have one name. My son (born here) has only one last name too.

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distracted_x@reddit

My hispanic coworker has 2 last names technically, his fathers-mothers but he only really goes by his fathers casually. We actually had this discussion the other day about how it works in his culture. If your kid chooses to drop one it will most likely be the second one (yours) and it would've been better to have it first the way its supposed to be.

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agirlwholovesdogs@reddit

That might be the standard but not necessarily the rule, my boyfriend has his mother’s last name-father’s last name (she’s from Chile, dad is Venezuelan). It mattered more to his mom that he have her surname than it did to his dad.

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hugothebear@reddit

If youre looking to keep hispanic tradition, father then mother. If not, then who cares? Do what you want.

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lakas76@reddit

In general, the first last name will be used for almost everything, the second last name will be cut off almost all the time.my stepson has my ex’s last name first and his dad’s last name second. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his second last name be used for anything. I am not saying this is wrong or right, just that it is the custom that I have seen and read about.

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fetus-wearing-a-suit@reddit

You did it in the "wrong" order, but it doesn't really matter besides people assuming the parents' surnames

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MmmIceCreamSoBAD@reddit

As a white person in the US I have no idea what the naming convention is for double last names and I think this is generally true for most Americans since the vast majority of us don't have them. Broader society will not care.

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rexeditrex@reddit

What really matters is what your wife will call them when they're in trouble!

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Annual-Budget-1756@reddit

Doing genealogical research, it made it so much easier to figure out relationships based on the traditional naming conventions of (Father's Last Name) (Mother's Last Name). Honestly, I would pay to change it since it's easier and cheaper if you do it within one year. The second name often gets dropped so that means your name would be the one dropped. But there's no law that says it has to be a certain way. You could put any last name that you liked on the birth certificate and that's their legal name. It's only tradition that keeps people using family surnames anyway. You do you.

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JawnDingus@reddit

I’m doing the reverse shortly. Only because I’m a giant child and putting my wife’s last name first makes me laugh because then I can be: JawnDingus King-My last name I get to be a king yo! I swear I’m not 8 years old.

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JackBeefus@reddit

I've never heard of this, and I bet most people haven't. I'm sure it'll be fine.

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TooManyDraculas@reddit

It's traditional Spanish language naming convention. Not necessarily all that common today. But there's similar stuff in a lot of places. Like I have Georgian friends where the convention was apparently fathers name, mothers name for a girl and mothers name fathers name for boys. They went mother, father for their kids since dad's name is easier to pronounce. And they weren't doing it for traditional reasons. Also gave the kids regular middle names. Which is not traditional in that structure. So if this wasn't done for the sake of keeping with tradition. Then it doesn't matter.

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Real-Advantage-328@reddit

You might get better answers asking in Spanish og Hispanic sites. In English the rules about this, called double barreled surnames, is rather loose, and traditionally it was done by «the great families» to preserve both names if both the father and mother came from illustrious families, like the Spencer-Churhills. You can even find triple or quadruple barrelled names or even more, like the fabulously named «Temple-Nugent-Brydges-Chandos-Grenville» However according to Wikipedia it’s different in Spain and Spanish tradition and perhaps that’s what they want to preserve: In Spanish tradition, double surnames are the norm and not an indication of social status. People used to take the (first) surname of their fathers, followed by the (first) surname of their mothers (i.e., their maternal grandfather's surname). In Spain (since 2000) and Chile (since 2022),[2] parents can choose the order of the last names of their children, with the provision that all children from the same couple need to have them in the same order; the double surname itself is not heritable. These names are combined without hyphen (but optionally using y, which means "and" in Spanish).

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Oraphielle@reddit

In my origin, it would be first name, middle name, second middle name, fathers surname, mothers maiden name, de (of), then mothers mothers maiden name. I did not name my kids this way cause ‘murica.

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RoundandRoundon99@reddit

Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo. Sheimbaum is paternal, Pardo is maternal. Goes through life as “Sheinbaum” Andrés M. Lopez Obrador López is paternal and Obrador is maternal Goes by “Lopez Obrador” Maternal Never goes before in Spanish naming customs. In English naming customs, the last word in your name is your last name. In the past, your mom’s maiden name would be used as one of your middle names. Not done usually now. George Herbert Walker Bush. His first name is George, his last name is Bush. His mother’s maiden name was Walker and is now a “middle name”. Same for John Fitzgerald Kennedy. You created your own system.

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invinciblemrssmith@reddit

I don’t know about cultural conventions, but if you want both last names to appear as such, they should be hyphenated and appear in the last name field on forms. If your child has a middle name, then write that in, too, but if not, then leave it blank or write “NMN” for no middle name. I changed my name when I married—my middle name became my maiden name and my last name was that of my husband. For a short time, I hyphenated my names. But on all official records, my middle name was my maiden name. When we divorced, I changed my name back to my maiden name as my last name and left out a middle name (NMN). Needless to say, my name appears in all kinds of iterations due to this and my dumb ex not listening to me when I told him I dropped my middle name, so some forms say [FIRST NAME-OLD MIDDLE NAME-MAIDEN NAME-MARRIED NAME]. It’s a mess!

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VanguardAvenger@reddit

Depends on the situation. My wife has two last names. Different systems seem to decide her "true" last name is different. IE, I had trouble finding her in a hospital once because they decided to check her in with her maternal last name (which comes first) and I used the paternal last name when asking for her.. Meanwhile her employer has her in the system with her paternal last name. Then of course our home insurance decided she's actually [maternal name]-[paternal name] as 1 name, even though her name is unhyphenated. Notably however, shes never actually had a problem where because shes [first name] [maternal name] in a database but her id says [first name] [paternal name] that she can't be properly identified. All systems seem to have a note that her name is actually [First] [maternal] [paternal] Ultimately I think the order of the last names isnt really relevant, its going to be an issue either way, but its never been a serious one

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Wesmom2021@reddit

Mother's last name than father's last name. Im Filipino but we share same tradition of last names.

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Suppafly@reddit

> Mother's last name than father's last name. Im Filipino but we share same tradition of last names. That's more like the American style, not the old school Hispanic style though.

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shammy_dammy@reddit

For Mexico, yes, you have them backwards. I don't know about other countries, since I live in Mexico. Here it is traditionally father's first surname then mother's first surname. In fact, my state just very recently (last month) made it legal for the parents to decide the order.

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PoopsieDoodler@reddit

That’s how we did it: Her last name-His last name.

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SnowblindAlbino@reddit

Many people hyphenate and do it in different ways. Both names are the "last name" legally if done that way, and will appear with the hyphen, in that order, on the birth certificate and all future official documents. You can use any order you like though; I know many families that hyphenated their kids and simply went with what sounded best to them. There are no rules.

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zector96@reddit (OP)

Thank you for explaining things to me,

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Background_Humor5838@reddit

As the parents, it's your choice how you name your child. There may be general conventions amongst Americans but there is no rule and I'm sorry if anyone made you feel like you did it wrong. I know many people who have two last names. Sometimes it's their mom's first and sometimes it's their dad's first and it's just up to the parents how they want to do it. I even know people who have a totally different last name to their parents either because their father passed away when they were young or because their parents got remarried and didn't change their children's names. Don't worry too much. We're all weird here lol

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Quenzayne@reddit

In the English-speaking world, women take the last name of their husbands so legally the baby’s last name will be the same as the father’s. In the Spanish-speaking world, babies take the last names of both of their parents, as women don’t adopt men’s last names when marrying, although when a woman married up in the old days, she would add “de (man’s last name)” as a sort of flex. So in order for the baby to have your last name legally, as far as Spanish-language custom goes, you should have listed your last name first. For example: Claudia Paz García Morales, where your last name is hypothetically García and your wife is hypothetically Morales. This would transfer legally to English as Claudia García, with the middle name Paz, and the last name discarded or possibly hyphenated.

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Raibean@reddit

It’s just a cultural difference. In White American culture, dad’s surname goes last. In Hispanic cultures, dad’s surname goes first. There is no legal reason, rule, or restriction behind either choice.

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WildMartin429@reddit

After doing some really quick searching I found that there is no specific rule for which name goes first in a hyphenated last name; the order is a matter of personal choice. Parents often choose by determining which combination sounds better or by cultural tradition. You can choose the order based on alphabetical order, sound, or what feels more significant to you and your spouse. So legally speaking as far as I can tell there's no issue in the United States. If you're writing about somewhere outside the US then I'm not sure on the legalities there. But it sounds like the grandparents have got your wife all worked up about nothing. I'm not sure how big of a headache it is to change the birth certificate name after it's already been issued but if there's not any type of actual legal issue involved I don't really see the point in it if you can convince your wife that it's not going to ruin your child's life.

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SideEmbarrassed1611@reddit

Spanish naming schemes are traditionally what her parents said. Javier Suarez Vega means that Javier's father is a Suarez and his mother is a Vega. This comes out of the Roman Tri-Nomina naming scheme where the first surname is the father's. Gaius Julius Caesar is a Julian. His father is Gaius Julius. Caesar is a nickname, Cognomen. But the Spanish started replacing Cognomens with the mother's surname to better track family lineages. But the USA uses English naming customs where only the father's surname matters. In Spain, this is done to be able to use both last names as a means of expressing your unique family. You can be both Javier Vega and Javier Suarez. "Oh, my father is a Suarez. My mother is a Vega." "Mi padre es un Suarez y mi madre es una Vega." "Oh, very nice!" "Me gusta! Muy bien!"

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r2k398@reddit

I’m Hispanic and from tradition, the girls would get father’s last name then mother’ last name so when they eventually got married, they would still have the father’s last name. For sons, they aren’t going to change their last name (traditionally) so theirs would be mother’s last name then father’s last name.

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fromwayuphigh@reddit

Non-Hispanic, and my kids are Mom's - Dad's. It seemed more euphonious and less clunky. They're older (teens-young adults) and it's never mattered in the slightest.

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de_lame_y@reddit

traditionally it’ll go *baby’s first name* *fathers surname* *mothers maiden name*. not hypenated. i know some people switch it so the fathers surname isn’t mistaken for a middle name but that’s always seemed a little misogynistic to me

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de_lame_y@reddit

damn i forgot asterisks did that oops

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Soundtracklover72@reddit

It doesn’t matter, legally. Your baby’s last name is what you gave it. I think it’s cool that you do that. As someone with a non-hyphenated last name (marriage) I will say that some systems don’t like it. They smoosh my names gather which is annoying.

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meowmix778@reddit

I can't speak for the world but Puerto Ricans do it father's paternal last name - mother's maiden last name But I'm not convinced that's the way the world does it or that it entirely matters.

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Gladys_Balzitch@reddit

On friends, Rachel did her last name, then Ross' last name. So mother first, then father. I know most people hate Friends and no one gaf, but that's my only knowledge on which name goes first 😂

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WinterRevolutionary6@reddit

Some systems will only recognize one last name and so the second last name is the recognized last name. If you’re the father and the child’s name is paternal maternal, some systems won’t recognize that your child belongs to you because of the name mismatch

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AwarenessGreat282@reddit

Not sure which is more correct and why. All I know is that he is going to curse you growing up and having to write all that crap out....lol God help him if he plays sports or joins the military the jersey or nametags will be tiny font!

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SwordTaster@reddit

If i had any sau in such a thing, I'd just go with whichever sounded better. Chances are, in the US it's going to be the one on the end that's treated as the last name and the first last name will be treated as a middle name

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Dingbatdingbat@reddit

I've seen the mom's name used as a middle name, or hyphenated after the dad's last name. I've not seen the mom's name and then the dad's name hyphenated.

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IJustWantADragon21@reddit

I’ve honestly never given it any thought as to which parent’s name is which when I meet someone with a hyphenated last name.

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Odd-Guarantee-6152@reddit

No, that isn’t a thing I’ve ever heard of. My kids and hyphenated and we decided the order based on what sounded better

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gothiclg@reddit

Legally it doesn’t matter. Culturally it may matter

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