It's only weird if you make it weird
Posted by Meteorstar101@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 96 comments
Posted by Meteorstar101@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 96 comments
StrengthfromDeath@reddit
Gooners, please, no need to panic.
There is currently no pokemon game with this team available.
The human looks like they are from sword and shield, which was the last mainline game that lopunny was available. However, meowscarada is only in scarlet & violet, and the new Legends ZA, neither of which have lopunny.
EmberMcLain_@reddit
Conclusion: This guy is hopping across entire games to build his Pokeharem.
MoneyUpbeat@reddit
This is the sort of top notch investigative journalism I come to Reddit for
DinoRedditor@reddit
You forgot the sequel/prequel:
fluffynuckels@reddit
Hes got 7 pokemone wtf!!
Thin_General_8594@reddit
Umamusume made me want to fuck a Rapidash
FlambyLamby@reddit
What the fuck is even the correlation here?
LoliMiyuki@reddit
I know right, at least say My Little Pony or something. Umas aren't even close to what a Rapidash is.
Scottish_Whiskey@reddit
Right????? Rapidash is waaaayy hotter
NietJulian@reddit
This reminds me of some 4chan post about some wanting to know where he could buy a Rapidash plush to fuck with friends and it would need to be able to withstand his heavy body.
destroyerOfTards@reddit
You will burn your dick off playing with literal fire, boy
BigRed888@reddit
I don’t get some of these choices?
Grandson_of_Kolchak@reddit
References the leaks of internal documents where game freak tried to emulate folklore tales of having kids with animals
Sengfroid@reddit
Say what now
Trigger_Fox@reddit
They were fucking. All the time.
They really put the freak in the game damn
partoutrichie@reddit
I don't want to risk getting banned so I'll just say, for most of these, it's about 🍇
GodlyGodMcGodGod@reddit
Okay, I don't get this one. I mean, I understand the intent from context, but I haven't heard of anyone gooning to these specific pokemon.
Faust_the_Faustinian@reddit
It's about the leaks from Gamefreak
MrPokeGamer@reddit
Yay typhlosion
BizoIsMe0708@reddit
diddylosion
Spoon_Elemental@reddit
Bro, at least evolve the Ursaring into Ursaluna.
Quercus408@reddit
That team would actually slay. Lopunny is a dark horse if I ever saw one.
smeh480@reddit
Jynx is missing there, smh.
LordranKing@reddit
Good choices, especially the vaporeon.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
Ranch_Dressing321@reddit
_Globert_Munsch_@reddit
soiboi64@reddit
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
Narrow_Lee@reddit
FourKrusties@reddit
ah fuck the classic. almost as old as the wizard hat
dragoslayer1327@reddit
MagiksSon@reddit
ninja_BUTTONS@reddit
Sir, this is a Wendy's
streety_J@reddit
NewspaperConfident16@reddit
A second vaporeon copypasta has hit the sub
SoupaMayo@reddit
Actually...
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has its Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by its cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With its combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! Its ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share its current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you its INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It's access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Kewixe@reddit
now why would you go around saying that
solmyrbcn@reddit
BrownAJ@reddit
FailureToReason@reddit
Nand-Monad-Nor@reddit
SpaceBug176@reddit
You sound like a vaporeon salesman.
gnarlyhobo@reddit
appendix_firecracker@reddit
Omagga@reddit
MuppetFucker2077@reddit
What’s with the pink thing on the left
Cpo135@reddit
Ditto can transform into ANYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BABY.
I_cut_my_own_jib@reddit
And his team has 5 VERY breedable pokemon 🥵🥵🥵
MinecraftHolmes@reddit
ditto! use form of: water tube toy
SecretImaginaryMan@reddit
Ditto! Use form of: Gollum with a fat set of fake tits
destroyerOfTards@reddit
22 people upvoted this.
22 people have fantasies about this.
22 people are men of culture.
FlambyLamby@reddit
22 people should be erased from this earth.
OmnomOrNah@reddit
That's why calling someone a Ditto is such a sick burn.
You're calling them an amorphous blob that breeds with anything
Hanna_Bjorn@reddit
Nnnggghhhhh~
Nand-Monad-Nor@reddit
All I need is ditto.
PalpitationFine@reddit
Imagine that ditussy
sassydodo@reddit
What a bad day to be able to read
SpaceBug176@reddit
Ditto. He can shapeshift into anything.
So if a nice lady passed by you for example...
AussieSilly@reddit
Minibotas@reddit
What the fuck does this image even tries to convey??
PedDeT00@reddit
The roller coaster lift hill is over, billions must WEEEEEEEEEEE
RealScionEcto@reddit
"It's only weird if you make it weird"
My brother in Christ, look at the Vapeoreon.
MikeHoteI@reddit
Oh is it supposed to be blue?
kidbehindyou@reddit
That's the surf slave.
micahamey@reddit
Suck slave*
201720182019@reddit
The Vaporeon gets sent out and suddenly every pokemon refuses to use close-contact moves
et_cetera1@reddit
It got the gooey ability
WumboJamz@reddit
ExoTheFlyingFish@reddit
Cumporeon.
FrogOnABus@reddit
Porecumon.
Lukthar123@reddit
Gotta breed 'em all
KaiserRoll823@reddit
It's a shiny! I thought shiny Vaporeons were supposed to be purple though?
_TheAfroNinja_@reddit
I thought that was a coloring error lol
MrCattsDad@reddit
Shiny.
JasoTheArtisan@reddit
Hey guys did you know
AdamK199@reddit
swap out ditto wiTH scolipede
Suban33@reddit
There has to be video somewhere of some dirty gooner-ass looking mfer rolling around with the meme team where they slow roll the reveal and the opponent sees the monster they are fighting.
Answerisequal42@reddit
This whole thread is a prime example that religion has its place in the world. And i say that as i convinced atheist.
vjmdhzgr@reddit
It bothers me that that's the Galar protagonist but they have a meowscarada
Grater_Kudos@reddit
Add Cinderace to it
pibenis@reddit
we're all pink inside
Ow_you_shot_me@reddit
Is that lopunny... pregnant?
Drafo7@reddit
Honestly whoever wrote the dumbass vaporeon post is a moron. Ditto has literally always been the universal pokemon sex slave.
CasulWrecker@reddit
I will whip it out.
yourtree@reddit
No lucario or blaziken🥺
Spoon_Elemental@reddit
2 grass pokemon and a water type on the same team? That is peculiar, this team is unbalanced as fuck. Drop everything except the Gardevoir and Meowscarda. You're gonna want at least a steel type and a ground type for coverage. Excadrill is a good choice since it gets both. Then you want either a rock type or an electric type to deal with flying types. I also strongly recommend a Hisuian Zoroark. Normal/Ghost type is just straight up busted. The only thing it's weak against is dark type. Finally, a fighting type is basically never a bad choice. Those are pretty flexible and come as dual types for most other types. Blaziken is pretty solid if you want a fire type, but Hawlucha is a good choice too. You really can't go wrong with either.
Grandson_of_Kolchak@reddit
No Zoroark?
ParadoxGam3r@reddit
Bad team composition. Consider yourself destroyed by Lokix w/ Tinted Lens and First Impression 😎
PhantomCruze@reddit
The ditto is the worst part of it all
Res_Novae17@reddit
I'm so glad I don't understand this.
destroyerOfTards@reddit
The fact that you are glad means you actually understand this
Dog_Apoc@reddit
Sock the Cumporeon
Bowman_van_Oort@reddit
JOKER, NO
SuperSocialMan@reddit
THERE'S NO LAWS AGAINST POKEMON, BATMAN!
Corndesu69@reddit
all of them are male
Ello_______________W@reddit
Even better
ShadowNinja213@reddit
Ditto really brings this one together