Where’s the lie though, only addition would be during the 28 minutes the USS 8 Mile was being repaired it’s spot in the fleet was filled by the USS East St Louis and USS Frank Sinatra, with support from the Submarine Martin Luther King Sr.’s Neighbors Dog
ancient enough to remember the Tsar, resurrected by five-year plans, Gulag labor, and leftover steel, christened Admiral Vodkaslav, assigned to the Baltic Fleet
ship so outdated and poorly maintained it leaks more oil than it burns fuel, smoke plume so big, german pilots use it as a navigation landmark
crew paints it white with melted snow and crushed chalk, documents it as “field camouflage experiment No. 23”
gets bombed anyway, several times
adds bedsheets and despair for enhanced survivability
bedsheets burn, despair remains
repairs done under heavy fire during the Siege of Leningrad using scrap metal, tram rails, potatoes, and sheer willpower
crew runs out of shells, switches to firing bricks and Stalin portraits
fires them manually because the electric system requires a signed approval from Moscow
last emergency rations are melted to seal bullet holes
half-sunk, half-frozen, still refuses to die
reclassified as “stationary coastal fortification” after becoming part of the riverbank
somehow resurfaces 500 km inland near Kursk after the war
no one questions it
paperwork now lists it as “terrain-integrated defense vessel”
still technically on active duty today, guarding a potato field and terrifying nearby geese with random engine noises at 3 AM
Gloriously sank 8 boats, 7 of them also Russian, one of which was the battleship in question, and the 8th being a fishing trawler from a neutral country they encountered by accident.
The Pizza Pasta is the newest ship of the Italian navy. Got torpedoed by cheeky biplanes, sits in the dock till 1943, tries to surrender to Allies, gets fritzXed.
Still had more impact on the war than the entire German surface fleet, aside from the torpedo boats.
The Mama Mía, beautifully handcrafted by Enzo Ferrari and Ferruccio Lamborghini drifts around the Mediterranean and runs out of gas in the ghetto and then some enterprising British hooligans steal the stereo and breaks the headlights.
Magazine detonates because the fine and mildly inbred lords of the admiralty were too busy drinking their ninth cuppa to of ponder the consequences of leaving live shells in the turrets and all the magazine doors open to shave a few seconds off reload time
Of the 1500 crewmen you can count the survivors on one hand and hold your teacup at the same time
Has served in the fleet since before ww1 began, was the most advanced, and is now the most outdated ship in the Atlantic
Hit by German uboat 10 minutes after war starts while on combat duty, sinks 10 German cruisers, sunk by Japanese planes within 1 minute of entering the Pacific due to only having 2 AA guns (added last week)
Either have guns that don’t work, explode in one hit (as tradition dictates), or the newer ships have to cower behind the geriatric ones cause grandpa is the only one that can hit work a damn.
Following an aluminum foil repair job, the HMCS Leaky Bucket has been put back into service on a budget of eleven discontinued pennies and a bit of string.
Takes an entire broadside directly to the magazines. Ship is saved because Able Seaman Richard Chaddington heroically flooded the magazines with himself inside while simultaneously saving the rest of his crew.
The British fleet proceeds to Zerg rush the enemy and win the day
i get it, and yamato definitely took a lot of damage.
But it's not like all japanese ships were that resilient.
It's as if Yamato and Musashi were built to be able to take damage in a brawl, while i am not so sure about a lot of other vessels mentioned
Also 'took' is a very generous description. American pilots were hitting that ship as it was sinking because they were still out for vengeance for Pearl Harbour.
It's like saying someone took 100 punches, but the last 50 happened after they were unconscious.
It could also be a missed perception of not that it took that much ordnance to sink, but the US just had that much fucking firepower to use, so they used it.
Thing was dead in the first three hits but we had three hundred aircraft up with nothing else to bomb and a flight deck crew that would rather not have to take the bombs back off when they land.
French Battleship: The Richelieu class battleship Jean-Jacques Rousseau was moored in the Brest harbor when Germany attacked over and around the Maginot line. As the Luftwaffe began to darken the skies and the Wermacht pushed deeper toward Paris, the crew of the Jean-Jacques Rousseau decided to scuttle her rather than allow her to fall into Axis hands. As the captain and officer crew stood in full dress uniforms on the dock, a small crew of midshipmen and seamen planted a bomb below decks. As La Marseillaise played, the bomb went off early killing the demolition crew. The Jean-Jacques Rousseau sank and settled on the bottom with half her superstructure still visible as the officer crew held their crisp salutes and finally sauntered off to the nearest brasserie for brandy and cigars.
Don't forget Americans having an entire flotilla of ships larger than the navies of most countries with the specific purpose of transporting hot dogs, ice creams, and ciggarettes to the frontline, all while Admiral Nonamemoto with 2 days of fuel saying "We are so fucked" to his crewmen
Battleship Le Coqsuqeur
France surrenders to Germany
British ask you to please move somewhere else so you don’t get used by the Germans
Bah, tee-pee-cal British basteurds, we spit orn you
Get sunk by the British so you don’t get used by the Germans
Proceed to be butt-hurt about it for the next 1000 years
Soviet Battlehip stayed in drydock 1939-1944, being salvaged by both soviets and germans, gone into first battle against romanian barge, missed 3 times, retreated, scrapped for metal to construct 50 subs
ExperienceLow6810@reddit
Where’s the lie though, only addition would be during the 28 minutes the USS 8 Mile was being repaired it’s spot in the fleet was filled by the USS East St Louis and USS Frank Sinatra, with support from the Submarine Martin Luther King Sr.’s Neighbors Dog
No-Internal7978@reddit
With 15 more almost complete.
Yuri909@reddit
I think Submarines would be named after corporate donors. USS Zoloft and USS DuPont for example.
Very_Board@reddit
Nah corporate donors get destroyed painted up like billboards
Ke1thur@reddit
Wantitneeditgetit@reddit
It's fucking hilarious.
Braindeadkarthus@reddit
Plot twist: one of the friendly fires was the intended target
Mr_Midnight_Moon@reddit
Hey man, that fishing trawler was definitely a Japanese warship.
Level-Economy4615@reddit
All I’m saying is that I did in fact see torpedo boats
mgaruccio@reddit
Clearly, how else do you explain all the Soviet ships they sunk?
UncleRuckusForPres@reddit
I love ridiculous exaggerations that actually contain an element of truth to them, google Dogger Bank incident for a good laugh
Ecstatic_Host_9771@reddit
Do the Italian battleship
SlonyMidgal@reddit
The Pizza Pasta is the newest ship of the Italian navy. Got torpedoed by cheeky biplanes, sits in the dock till 1943, tries to surrender to Allies, gets fritzXed.
Still had more impact on the war than the entire German surface fleet, aside from the torpedo boats.
RaiderCat_12@reddit
I’m Italian, and yeah this definitely checks out
IkeClantonsBeard@reddit
The Mama Mía, beautifully handcrafted by Enzo Ferrari and Ferruccio Lamborghini drifts around the Mediterranean and runs out of gas in the ghetto and then some enterprising British hooligans steal the stereo and breaks the headlights.
RaiderCat_12@reddit
I’m Italian, and yeah this definitely checks out
Lord-Black22@reddit
What about British battleships?
Level-Economy4615@reddit
Thin_General_8594@reddit
HMS royal duke of sovereign perfection
Has served in the fleet since before ww1 began, was the most advanced, and is now the most outdated ship in the Atlantic
Hit by German uboat 10 minutes after war starts while on combat duty, sinks 10 German cruisers, sunk by Japanese planes within 1 minute of entering the Pacific due to only having 2 AA guns (added last week)
wolfclaw3812@reddit
Ah yes British ships waking up and choosing violence
Lord-Black22@reddit
Should be called the HMS Spotted Dick
FuzzyGolf291773@reddit
Either have guns that don’t work, explode in one hit (as tradition dictates), or the newer ships have to cower behind the geriatric ones cause grandpa is the only one that can hit work a damn.
KenseiHimura@reddit
A Canadian friend of mine shared:
Canadian Ship:
Following an aluminum foil repair job, the HMCS Leaky Bucket has been put back into service on a budget of eleven discontinued pennies and a bit of string.
SacredIconSuite2@reddit
British Battlecruisers:
Takes one single shell. Detonates.
Or
Takes an entire broadside directly to the magazines. Ship is saved because Able Seaman Richard Chaddington heroically flooded the magazines with himself inside while simultaneously saving the rest of his crew.
The British fleet proceeds to Zerg rush the enemy and win the day
hornwalker@reddit
Old Ironsides, baby!!
Arstanishe@reddit
well, all of 4 japanese best carriers got wiped in one bomb run from 1 bomber wing, so i have no idea what he's talking about
ers379@reddit
He’s probably specifically talking about Yamato
Arstanishe@reddit
i get it, and yamato definitely took a lot of damage. But it's not like all japanese ships were that resilient. It's as if Yamato and Musashi were built to be able to take damage in a brawl, while i am not so sure about a lot of other vessels mentioned
Cowboy_Cassanova@reddit
Also 'took' is a very generous description. American pilots were hitting that ship as it was sinking because they were still out for vengeance for Pearl Harbour.
It's like saying someone took 100 punches, but the last 50 happened after they were unconscious.
Arstanishe@reddit
as with bismark's sinking. The ships did not surrender, and were pounded and pounded long after they posed any danger.
DESTRUCTI0NAT0R@reddit
It could also be a missed perception of not that it took that much ordnance to sink, but the US just had that much fucking firepower to use, so they used it.
Thing was dead in the first three hits but we had three hundred aircraft up with nothing else to bomb and a flight deck crew that would rather not have to take the bombs back off when they land.
Goldengoose5w4@reddit
French Battleship: The Richelieu class battleship Jean-Jacques Rousseau was moored in the Brest harbor when Germany attacked over and around the Maginot line. As the Luftwaffe began to darken the skies and the Wermacht pushed deeper toward Paris, the crew of the Jean-Jacques Rousseau decided to scuttle her rather than allow her to fall into Axis hands. As the captain and officer crew stood in full dress uniforms on the dock, a small crew of midshipmen and seamen planted a bomb below decks. As La Marseillaise played, the bomb went off early killing the demolition crew. The Jean-Jacques Rousseau sank and settled on the bottom with half her superstructure still visible as the officer crew held their crisp salutes and finally sauntered off to the nearest brasserie for brandy and cigars.
MugroofAmeen@reddit
Don't forget Americans having an entire flotilla of ships larger than the navies of most countries with the specific purpose of transporting hot dogs, ice creams, and ciggarettes to the frontline, all while Admiral Nonamemoto with 2 days of fuel saying "We are so fucked" to his crewmen
igerardcom@reddit
Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
EpicAura99@reddit
You heard the man! Grab a shovel! This canal to Nevada won’t dig itself!
EtTuBrotus@reddit
French battleships
igerardcom@reddit
Zut!
BaertigerBert@reddit
I mean yeah what do you expect, our greatest naval development was to put our own boats underwater so the enemy couldn't sink them themselves
HamBlamBlam@reddit
I wish my nutsack was diamond encrusted. It’s just regular encrusted.
Cabra42@reddit
Mine was ironed pretty recently
ItsMrHealYoGirl@reddit
How else are you supposed to get the wrinkles out?
RaiderCat_12@reddit
Mine’s smegma encrusted
Douglas_DC-3@reddit
British battleships
Rucs3@reddit
This shit was funny
CounterHot@reddit
Soviet Battlehip stayed in drydock 1939-1944, being salvaged by both soviets and germans, gone into first battle against romanian barge, missed 3 times, retreated, scrapped for metal to construct 50 subs
Lolipopes@reddit
Almost got baited by this one.