I learned all of their perspectives and my sisters over time to attempt to get over it.

It really hasn’t helped.

My sister(two years older) went on to be a mother that was so bad she lost custody and was charged with child endangerment. She was cruel to me my whole life so when my half sisters (20+ years on us) finally turned on her because of that it was nice to know they cared about one little boy even if it wasn’t me.

My father well he’s been trying to kill himself since he was 18. After the loss of his first daughter from a city bus driver being a drunk driver he became a 10th level asshole and his beatings (outside of the dress stuff) were attempts to control his family so it wouldn’t happen again. He’s now a hoarder tv show level hoarder. I tried to help and had to pick a shattered mug out of the trash but was allowed to toss 16 Peanut butter jars. He’s now a born again virgin at 71. Since I was 16 he’s believed he could marry a Ukrainian 20 year old and give the nuclear family a 3rd try while he will send pictures where the files have two names non descript naming the image file. Anya or Natasha

My mother. Well she’s tricky. She was a boomer winner. She married a neighborhood boy and was a millionaire after divorcing him. She was mostly a stay at home mom, but a token office wife secretary to her husbands trucking business. She was of the women raise the girls vs my dad’s women raise the kids. So I can cook, clean, sew, bake, embroider, garden. She didn’t want a boy. Whether or not my beatings were linked to me being sick or I was beat so hard I couldn’t walk sometimes is still lost on me. No records at the children’s hospitals I was brought to. When we fled she lost the 2 million she got from her first husband and had to have menial jobs not even getting secretary ones because working for your husband wasn’t a real job. She would warp visitation so every time we saw our father she would interrogate us with this red spiral notebook having us recall every detail of seeing him. A dozen of times warping and rewriting what happened from dad giving us 100 dollars to bet him for mini golf getting us ice cream as consolation to taking 100 dollars from us to buy ice cream. She divorced her first husband because he became fat which she had a role in. Yet if you didn’t finish your large portions “I’m such a terrible mother” which led me to being fat myself. I’m sure she said the same but wife to the husband. Both of my parents hate fat people more than any other race, but in a way where they feel comfortable casually mocking. She was a narcissist. She was 50 when I was 5 and she was as fit as how you imagine an 80 year old. Shed call me all sorts of mental conditions, but like when she really leaned into calling me bipolar well, I never was put on lithium. Never medicated. Never kept even the 5150 hospital mental ward. It was all just attempts to psychologically hurt me because hitting me well it’s like a baby hitting a bear. She never got better. My grandfather used to be a boozer, but I thought highly of him. I hoped she would. Really any of them.