ADHD, anyone?
Posted by OfficialOldestgenxer@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 382 comments
I have a theory that Gen X is the great undiagnosed/ late diagnosed for ADHD. I'm turning 60 this year, I was diagnosed at 42. And we're different about it, I think, than the younger generations. They all seem very open and want to share with everyone their diagnosis. Only friends and family for me. I would never dream of telling my workplace. I don't want an accomodation, I want to be treated normal. Masking is my accomodation. That's just me. Anyone else?
Boomslang505@reddit
Nah, I just got my ass whooped .
CryEnvironmental9728@reddit
but im sure you became rich due to that rigid discipline right?
Boomslang505@reddit
Not rich but doing đđ»
CryEnvironmental9728@reddit
Me neither. I mean the rigid discipline part.
ted_anderson@reddit
Came here to say that!
Bigsisstang@reddit
Women present differently then men. Women if they have it are introverts, people pleasers, messy but know where stuff is. Pick up on a new hobby then lose interest quickly. It runs a whole gamut and I have it even though I haven't an official diagnosis. I have need to decompress a couple times a month where I do NOTHING. When I was single, I would lay on my couch and just zone out while the TV was going. My apt, at the time, may have needed cleaning. I just didn't care during those times.
OfficialOldestgenxer@reddit (OP)
That's because in general, women are more likely to have inattentive type rather than hyper. My mom clearly had inattentive type even though she was never diagnosed. And I have inattentive type as well even though I'm a guy. Do you also never finish...anything? Definitely me. Are you married? Is your husband a normal? My wife is as well. She's clearly quirky enough, but also, she's the rock. I do what I can for her (when I remember to) because I realized really recently that she does a ton to keep the house together. Like we made a compromise: since I'm not good at cleaning (despite all my restaurant experience) and I often don't see the point, but I do like to eat, I take care of the cooking. Like 90% of the cooking and grocery shopping. Deciding what to make for dinner every night is like that guy who had to a roll a stone uphill forever. Oh, yeah, this is an infodump. Sorry.
MSTXCAMS70@reddit
In our day, it was just called ânot living up to his potential syndromeâ
midwesternmayhem@reddit
Especially if you were low on the H part and just stared out the window while neglecting to turn in the homework youâd finished four hours earlier.
mahjimoh@reddit
OrâŠstaring out the window, blowing off working on the assignment that is due first thing tomorrow morning, pretending to yourself that youâll work on it at homeâŠ
âŠwhen really you will start and finish it on the bus on the way to school.
And then youâll get an A and the validation makes it all the more likely you will repeat this!
deadbeef4@reddit
Excuse me, I would fake being sick the day it was due so I could do the entire thing while my mom was at work!
Progress-Cautious@reddit
I could have had Ebola and mom would have made me go to school anyways
Away-Reveal-2326@reddit
Same here. One day I was feeling sick and was still sent to school. Nurse sent me home because I had chicken pox.
midwesternmayhem@reddit
Same. And when the nurse called home so I could get picked up, my mother asked her if she was sure it wasn't a bug bite (note: my mother is not a medical professional).
AlwaysSeeking1210@reddit
Lol. My mom was working, so guess who had to hoof it home.
El_Comanche-1@reddit
My mom would make us do chores around the house. Clean the toilet, scrub the bathroomâŠect.
bottle_of_bees@reddit
My mom too. I still have trouble calling in sick. My husband usually has to say âYou are too sick to go to work.â And then I feel like Iâm lying about being sick when Iâm actually underplaying how sick I am.
False_Local4593@reddit
Are you me? Did we just become best friends?
mahjimoh@reddit
Good option! Or if it was an afternoon class, no need to start it on the bus, thereâs always lunch time.
Trick-Profession7107@reddit
I didnât eat lunch my entire time in High School. I spent it at the library speeding through the homework for the afternoon classes. Went through youâre stupid go to special ed, no now gifted classes, no now AP classes.. hey now youâre smart, you must be socializing too much and not applying yourself. Isolate, conform, excel, burnout, get punished, repeat. 45 y/old and currently on a 3 year burnout stint living in my camper because I just canât do ânormalâ life.
mahjimoh@reddit
Ugh, Iâm sorry. Mine manifested in a way that was generally seen as âquiet girl but could do more with her life.â
JonnyLosak@reddit
Besides the bus you just described my college experience.
mahjimoh@reddit
Mine, too. fist bump
I started taking college courses in 1985 and got my bachelors inâŠguess what year?
No, later!
No, still later!
Okay, youâll never guess⊠it was 2018. Whew!
(I did go on to promptly finish a masters degree, though, in 2020.)
ebeth_the_mighty@reddit
Started Uni in 1988 and finished my Bach in (checks calendar) 2007.
Got my masters in 2022 though. Supposed to be an âup to six yearsâ thing. Knocked it out in 16 months.
mahjimoh@reddit
Nice!
ebeth_the_mighty@reddit
And yours!
JonnyLosak@reddit
Wow! Congratulations!
mahjimoh@reddit
Thank you so much! I was a little surprised, myself.
It was still absolutely done in that same last-minute manner with the same A+ results, but I suspect all the âget stuff done/donât drop the ballâ systems Iâve put in place over the years helped make it manageable.
fallencoward1225@reddit
That's exactly what you did and that's not easy for 'normal' people lol! Be proud of yourself!
mahjimoh@reddit
Thanks, kind words! I am. : )
fallencoward1225@reddit
đ
DocHenry66@reddit
My school career. No one knew because I always got As
TheUnkind1@reddit
I don't appreciate being called out like that.
Yaffaleh@reddit
Yep. I was 47 when diagnosed.
ClubExotic@reddit
NoâŠwith me it meant working on my favorite subjects in class and usually finishing them and completely blowing off subjects I hatedâŠlike math and science.
Jymantis@reddit
Holy crap! I did that.
mahjimoh@reddit
Story of my dang life.
PrimaryDangerous514@reddit
Get out of my dream journal!
oldg17@reddit
Man you just described it.
wordsRmyHeaven@reddit
And you didn't turn it in because it was math homework, and you left it in your reading folder.
Fuzzy_Strawberry1180@reddit
I know that one lol
Numerous_Teacher_392@reddit
Maybe the way the Prussian School is set up, isn't ideal for your personality.
If you were sitting behind a jet airplane taking off and you didn't like the noise, that's not a disorder. It's just that you and the environment you're sitting in aren't a great match.
rwphx2016@reddit
It helped to be quiet and smart and to do well on tests and at giving presentations. No one cared because I didn't disrupt the class and got my work done plus extra credit in less time than most kids would take to open the book.
commandantskip@reddit
"You're so smart, why are you so lazy?!!!"
sly-3@reddit
C's and D's in classes I hated, A's and B's in the ones I liked. Meanwhile, I kept telling parents and teachers that I was bored. Yeah, still harboring animus for everyone ignoring the signs that I was throwing out.
farmetter@reddit
Totally the same. I was grounded my entire junior year in HS (grades were fine til the curriculum in AG classes got hard enough to catch up, and when I began really struggling with depression). Parent's diagnosis? Lack of discipline. The happiest day of my life was being dropped off at college and watching them leave. Got Dxed with depression in mid-20s, adhd in early 30s. Medication was life-changing.
sisyphean_endeavor72@reddit
Same. But also my feelings about teacher would determine my level of effort. Rarely had a math teacher that wasnât a prick or just killing time in the classroom so they could be a coach.
And it was haphazard about what would hold my attention. Shakespeare, no problem. âOf Plymouth Plantationâ? Forget it.
2begreen@reddit
I heard âwhy do you always try to take the easy way outâ
I always thought isnât that the point lol
mahjimoh@reddit
Oh yes! No reason to do things the hard way. In military basic training, for instance, we had to keep our clean clothes folded a certain way in our drawers. So I just always had two of everything that stayed folded and the rest wasâŠelsewhere. I watched everyone else folding and folding all the time and wondered why they would do that.
ih8javert@reddit
My parents invented a âcureâ for the ânot living up to his potential syndrome.â It was the âIâll give you something to cry aboutâ injection. Booster shots were required every other week.
minikin_snickasnee@reddit
"You have so much POTENTIAL! If only you would APPLY yourself!" I cringe to this day, hearing stuff like that.
I'm trying to get an official diagnosis; I suspect not only ADHD, but perhaps autism, based on how I struggled to understand "obvious" things, and other quirks of mine.
Shot-Squirrel3483@reddit
Or being described as "special," as in, "He's special. Bless his heart."
ebeth_the_mighty@reddit
Ooh! I have that!
andy_nony_mouse@reddit
Have you been talking to my Guidance Counselor?
anothercynic2112@reddit
I'm annoyed at the lack of recognition I was given for completing a 3 week long project on the drive to school on the due date.
I would have been so much more effective if had just applied myself.
mahjimoh@reddit
I am personally very proud of you.
hazeldazeI@reddit
Okay why are you attacking me like this. Oof
TangeloGrand2511@reddit
Heâs not applying himself
Elrond_Cupboard_@reddit
I see you read my report cards.
Jurgis-Rudkis@reddit
Or, "The kid is a spaz."
AproposOfDiddly@reddit
We were the last generation to self-medicate ADHD with smoking cigarettes. A couple of months after I quit smoking for good at 40, I was in my Doctorâs office begging for help with my brain fog and complete inability to focus. I was surprised to be diagnosed with ADHD and after a few trials of meds, I have been on Adderall XR 30mg ever since.
NeedleworkerPresent6@reddit
I got called lazy and half-asses all the time.
mediaogre@reddit
âHeâs so smart, but heâs a C student.â
farts in ADHD
BuyRepresentative418@reddit
Sooo many of my report cards had that comment along with âstudent socializes too much in classâ.
I would not ask my employer for an accommodation personally. What purpose does that serve? HR is not your friend.
virtualadept@reddit
Or mental illness of some kind. They tried to diagnose me as schizophrenic a few times in school (school psychiatrist). They figured out it was ADD when I turned 40 or therabouts.
MonkeyTraumaCenter@reddit
Or âdoesnât apply himselfâ
Thealgorithimisgod@reddit
I wasn't "applying myself."
helena_handbasketyyc@reddit
If I had a dollar for every sock I had to pull upâŠ
FailureFulcrim@reddit
Almost sounds like a compliment. It was just called stupid where I'm from.
bellhall@reddit
Yes, and the treatment was severe punishment.
Expert-Lavishness802@reddit
Yeah our diagnosis was a mild look of disappointment and an uttered "That boy ain't right"
Fit_Beautiful6625@reddit
Diagnosed at 52. Unfortunately, while my brain likes the stimulant meds, my body does not, so Iâll soldier on being unmedicated.
Intelligent-Sign2693@reddit
I was diagnosed at 25 (I'm 56 now). I always did well in school but never did my homework--even research papers--til the last minute and got a bunch of detentions for being late to school.
When I first went to college, it all caught up to me. I still struggle so much with paperwork, mail, and where to put things.
I find I can tell who also has it by how conversations go. If they can go back and finish a story after a 20-minute sidetrack, they likely have ADD, too. Then I tell them, if it seems natural. Being more open about it shows you just how many people also struggle with it! I don't feel so alone, like I did at 25..
Electronic-Luck-4384@reddit
Been on adderall for years and years! Helped me keep my job and stay off street drugs I self medicated with. So many people claim adhd but they really just talk too much oh canât find my keys lol my adhd I have a coworker who is always talking about her adhd wanting attention like itâs a badge of honor
CombinationThese6654@reddit
Autism too. Got my diagnosis at age 35. My friend got his at 51.
Whaler1118@reddit
Poster boy for it right here as a 50 yr old man. Comorbid with mild Tourette Syndrome that was diagnosed when I was 8. Itâs been a helluva ride and not a fun one. đł
OldBanjoFrog@reddit
I am supposed to be working right now. Â I am overwhelmed, but could do it if I would get my direction figured out. Â ADHD sucks
Werilwind@reddit
Iâm your age and diagnosed at 47. I had a friend who was a neuroscientist and she sat me down one day and said I needed to get a diagnosis.
It explained most of my life struggles.
liko@reddit
Space cadet, inattentive type here.
SunShineLife217@reddit
I just donât see it changing anything in my world to let people know. I still have to function like everyone else regardless of my challenges.
fleetiebelle@reddit
You can advocate for yourself without disclosing anything, which is helpful. Asking for scheduling flexibility, project deadlines, written instructions, etc.
OKCannabisConsulting@reddit
The medication sure helps
SunShineLife217@reddit
Maybe. I havenât found the right one or dose yet that works for me.
OKCannabisConsulting@reddit
đđ«€đ„
halfpint1313@reddit
It wasn't until my kids were diagnosed that I went to get myself evaluated. I wonder how much my life would be different if I had the treatment as a kid, instead of starting in my 50's.
First-Increase-641@reddit
I wasn't diagnosed until AFTER grad school and I was overwhelmed in my chosen profession. The book Getting Things Done by David Allen probably saved my sanity.
lassiemav3n@reddit
What points in it do you think youâve been helped by the most? đÂ
First-Increase-641@reddit
His system for assigning and managing all the incoming communications (electronic and paper) was very helpful, also his to-do list system for managing both personal and work related tasks
lassiemav3n@reddit
Thank you! Iâll take a look at these first đÂ
missmgrrl@reddit
Thatâs a great book!!
_ism_@reddit
I thought I had ADHD in my 40s but it turned out to be a lot of similar symptoms from a traumatic brain injury I sustained during a car accident where I never went to the hospital. I just got it assessed years later when I got back on my feet. At the same time the neurocyte department gave me an Autism diagnosis as well. So a lot of people think I behave like an ADHD person but it's a mix of TBI and autism. I've really embraced the autistic identity because I sort of knew I was different my whole life and everybody else had pointed out to but back in my day little girls couldn't get autism because they were good at learning social cues and I certainly was good at learning them too. I didn't miss much and I understood nuances between other girls relationships and stuff like that so nobody would have guessed I was autistic but it's not all about social deficits. That's one reason a lot of little girls didn't get diagnosed earlier. Plus I was a gifted child so they thought I was going to do fine without any kind of support and that's not what happened. I burnt out as soon as I got to college living by myself.
emmettfitz@reddit
I was tested in elementary school, and there wasn't a diagnosis for it back then (mid 70's), so they just put me in the "slower class." My dad, in his farmer wisdom, "They thought you were retarded, but you just need a swift kick in the ass."
TemperatureTop246@reddit
I'm 51, diagnosed w/ADHD at 35. Also highly suspect autism due to sensory issues, rigid thinking, and a wicked case of burnout this last couple of years, but I can't afford to get a professional evaluation for that, and I am high-masking when I am able to.
When I was a kid, girls didn't get evaluated for anything unless they expressed suicidal thoughts, and even then autism and adhd were 'boys issues'.
Girls like me were just "lazy", "difficult", "emotional", "spacey", "didn't fit in with the other girls", 'depressed', etc.
I take meds for depression, and was even on antipsychotics for a few years after a major breakdown. All those did for me was make me a zombie with no emotions.. I didn't cry for 2 years while taking lamotrigine and Zyprexa. Everything was grey-feeling, music sucked, I didn't have any interest in anything. just lying in bed. I gained almost 100lbs. Last year, I stopped those meds (tapered obviously) and started thinking in color again and enjoying music again, and my weight is dropping with the help of Wegovy.
Sorry I rambled LOL
My oldest son is 31 and was diagnosed with autism when he was 5. (I knew when he was 2 1/2, but it took 2 years to get him evaluated)
Haavard-Pettersen@reddit
One of the great medical discoveries in recent years is that everyone has ADHD. It's just a matter of how much and what kind. In Norway, 60% of referrals to the adolescent psychiatry service is for ADHD. 40 % is EVERYTHING else.
Haven't you seen the clickbait ad "what adhd type are you"? "No ADHD" is not an opition.
SenorPea@reddit
ALL...and I mean ALL...of the notes written on the back of my report cards were something along the lines of "brilliant, but can't sit still" "daydreams all the time and doesn't focus on the lesson" "does not pay attention in class" "seems distracted and disinterested but when focused he's one of the smartest in class..." "often turns in incomplete work" .
It's odd that I can remember those comments. Its as if it was yesterday.
And no, I would NEVER tell work.
Upset_Mess@reddit
Got good grades but the notes in first grade were "Asks too many questions" which was interpreted as I wasn't paying attention. So what did I learn from that? Don't ask questions.
SenorPea@reddit
Ironically I became a teacher. I LOVE the question askers. They keep the class moving and engaged. Sometimes if "Jane" asks a million questions, I'll turn it around and say "Brandon, what do YOU think the answer is?" and then maybe "Celeste, do you agree? Tell me why."
I'm convinced that under similar circumstances, our teachers back then did not face the same kind of pressure to be creative that we do. Might be stating the obvious.
Vaskor@reddit
Got the same note, Asks too many questions, from grades 1-3.
NorthAmericanSlacker@reddit
My brother was very ADHD and my mom insisted it was the schoolâs problem of not keeping him interested.
_joeBone_@reddit
I was diagnosed at 50 after self medicating for 30 years. I took 20mg of Adderall XR for a year and it worked great. Then I stopped because my wife got sick and I realized my unmedicated brain was a better fit to her care schedule. After she passed I went back to self medicating with booze and cigarettes and comfort food.
2 months ago I was talking to my doctor and he was mad at me because I gained 30 pounds and just sat a home all day doing nothing. Severe depression and just not giving much of a fuck in general. I do not take ADs, they are bad for me.
He said, why don't we get you back on Adderall and see what happens in 30 days. The affect was instant, I started obsessively cleaning our house and moving things around, packing up her stuff for storage. I started remodeling the kitchen and eating right. (thanks AI for the low fat meal plan and grocery lists) I made massive lists of things I wanted to do and started checking them off.
I got back to see my Dr. and I was down 20 pounds, my blood pressure was way down to 115/70, and he told me that it was the first time he'd seen me smile in 3 years. Got a high five from him...
I like where I am now, my depression is largely healed and I'm proud of myself again. None of that happens w/o treating my ADD. I'll tell people if they ask, but I don't offer it up to real life people.
National_Key5664@reddit
This same thing happened to me! I got off the adderall because I lost my insurance. Plus my mother (who still has to help me out sometimes) shamed me for taking it. Two years later, my house was a wreck, I gained 20 pounds, and I was depressed as fuck. Got back on it about a year ago and itâs the best decision Iâve made. Stopped drinking , lost 25 pounds, keep a tidy house and am present for my kids. Iâm still mortified when I look back on how lazy and unorganized I use to be. I donât give a rats ass if itâs looked down on! This medication has brought me back to life.
missblissful70@reddit
Thereâs a meme that goes around. A woman says she and her friends took Adderall at a concert, and her friends were running around, dancing, and she sat down under a tree to answer all the emails she had been saving to answer when she had time. Thatâs when she started to suspect ADHD.
My son has ADHD and I can see in his eyes when he is unmedicated. Itâs a severe disorder and people treat it like itâs nothing at all.
joefatmamma@reddit
Just went through the evaluation. Getting results Friday. My little brother has it bad so I think I slipped through the cracks.
itoshiineko@reddit
I was diagnosed at 36 after growing up being told I was lazy.
SpaceMonkey3301967@reddit
The news is now reporting that GenX has brain damage from breathing the lead in leaded gasoline. I'm OK with that. Why be normal? And, What-- Me worry?
Gern_Blanston_420@reddit
I was diagnosed with High Masking Type 1 with AuDHD at 52. Didnât change anything but it did explain why I am the way Iâve always been.
cw99x@reddit
How does one get diagnosed?
Itâs been suggested that that I am AuDHD by my wife and others.
Iâm pretty ignorant about all of this, but we watched that program âLife on the Spectrumâ and I really related to some of the people on that show, and saw myself in some of them.
Do you just start off talking to your regular doctor? Or do you see a specialist? I have never gone to doctors much, so Iâm just not sure how this works or how one brings this up.
CapotevsSwans@reddit
Normally a neuropsychologist tests you. I also got an IQ test so my testing took four hours. My insurance paid for it.
The funny part is after the doctor tested me. She told me I absolutely had it. Then when I got the written report, she said I likely had it, but wouldnât put it in writing that I had it conclusively because I didnât have grade school records from a rural area in the 1970s
Being a menopausal woman is a whole lot of fun .
thisthingwecalllife@reddit
Talk to your doctor, get a referral for a psychiatrist, and it takes some time to get an official diagnosis. My husband went through a few for ADHD before finding one that he really liked. First doctor was shaming him for having severe anxiety and being prescribed xanax by our doctor (kept saying he just needs therapy), second one was kind of dismissive right off the bat, third one he felt listened to and they were really assuring him. He didn't want to start ADHD meds (he thinks they may exacerbate his anxiety) and they didn't push them on him.
Gern_Blanston_420@reddit
Itâs a long process and can be expensive. Simpler route would be to try CBT and see if it works for you.
Magerimoje@reddit
Same, but at 41 when my kids were diagnosed as autistic and I said to the doc "but that's all just normal stuff" and the doc said something like "yes it's normal.... for autistics with ADHD" huh. Lightbulb moment for me.
Glum-One2514@reddit
When my son's school first started alerting us that he might be AS/ADHD, I reacted the same, and unfortunately, convinced my wife I was right. It delayed his help by a couple of years. I feel terrible about that.
HippoIllustrious2389@reddit
It is a really difficult thing to understand for parents. Donât beat yourself up. Focus on the fact that (unlike many of our boomer parents) you did get your son the help he needs, while he was still a child. I give you permission to release yourself from this guilt that serves no one and wish you peace
JacqueGonzales@reddit
This is why Iâm looking for someone who diagnoses adults. Iâm already diagnosed ADHD - but I have a feeling about being AuDHD.
To make things more complicated - diagnosing autism in women/girls via a male based test - means the likelihood of a diagnosis probably wonât happen. I donât need a formal diagnosis - just want to see about confirming what I believe to be autistic traits. Thatâs what happened for my daughter when she asked to be tested at 16.
mlvalentine@reddit
So, I've been learning that peri/meno affects mental health due to estrogen levels dropping. There's a new effort to study this phase of life, but the medical community is behind. I've been hearing many women who never presented symptoms before are being diagnosed with auDHD, anxiety, etc. so they can be prescribed treatment accordingly. If you aren't feeling right and you haven't explored non-mental health options (eg gyno, etc.) might be worth checking. Hang in there!
Environmental-Car481@reddit
I think part of it, is just awareness. Getting my oldest diagnosed with autism started with my own experiences. Mainly looking into auditory processing disorder. Took a while to notice, and then to put two and two together that he seemed like me, delayed hearing. I hear just fine if Iâm focused in but if you talk to me out of the blue, Iâm going to miss the first three or four words. The initial conversation with his pediatrician, who happen to be from Canada, where at the time they were dealing with it more than here in the US, she had said it was more likely sensory processing disorder. She moved. The first appointment with the new pediatrician when he was 11, she flat out, said she thought he was autistic based on her experience with her brothers that were on the spectrum.
As we learn more in regards to symptoms, strategies, etc., we can look back and notice things in our past. Iâm pretty sure if medicine 40 years ago was like it is now, I would have been diagnosed as autistic. Iâm sure hormonal changes exacerbate symptoms or maybe bring them out.
cdalkire@reddit
Also woman who feels like something isn't right. Not able to get diagnosed because I'm old.
crucial_geek@reddit
If a child is tested and then one or both parents are tested, usually one or both parents also have autism.
Women aside, trying to find anyone who works with adults is a pita. I mean, it seems that for every 1000 that work with children, only one works with adults.
Magerimoje@reddit
For me, my kids' developmental pediatrician basically told me I was AuDHD, and I "confirmed" it via online tests. After that, I talked to my primary care doctor about it and she said "good enough for me" and added it to my chart. She'd also known me for over 20 years at that point, so she knew my traits already.
PeanutMcGoo@reddit
Me too, I didnât really believe the psychologist but the cognitive behavioural therapy I did that she tailored with this diagnosis made a huge impact on my life, and now I donât have to spend the second part of my life feeling like a dumb, weird failure (well, I have moments, but they are becoming less and less).
DarthGuber@reddit
Don't worry, you'll still feel like a dumb, weird failure, but now you'll be an accomplished dumb, weird failure.
commandantskip@reddit
Was diagnosed with the same this past summer. It was very helpful in validating my experiences growing up â€ïž
gamblinonme@reddit
This. I tried meds, didnât like who I was but once before my diagnosis I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I know and itâs helped me accept myself instead of being frustrated.
AskWomenOver40@reddit
This is why Iâm looking for someone who diagnoses adults. Iâm already diagnosed ADHD - but I have a feeling about being AuDHD.
To make things more complicated - diagnosing autism in women/girls via a male based test - means the likelihood of a diagnosis probably wonât happen. I donât need a formal diagnosis - just want to see about confirming what I believe to be autistic traits. Thatâs what happened for my daughter when she asked to be tested at 16.
CryEnvironmental9728@reddit
im 49, i was one in the first group of young children diagnosed in the 70s. I was ashamed of it, ashamed I took mediciation, ashamed about how I acted (which looking back, I was a little kid, I had very little ability to do anything about it).
So yea. Now I tell people. Im very honest. Im willing to ask for accomodations , because they usually dont cost anyone anything except maybe slightly altering how things are communicated to me (smaller chunks of information at a time..., avoiding commitments that are going to have high probability of being missed)
Its not a flex to say you "keep it to yourself" You might want to be treated normal....(i remember when I thought that was cool too) you arent "normal" you actually have a serious condition that drastically alters your decision making and ability to make responsible decisions.
It doesnt mean you cant be responsible. It means its a lot harder. Again it being harder, and you "overcoming it" isnt a flex. Its just you smashing your head into a wall and being mad at your head for the wall not moving.
sfdsquid@reddit
I'm a female and was a very good student. I got diagnosed when I was in my early 30s.
BucktoothedAvenger@reddit
I didn't find out until 32 that I was on the spectrum, either. Back in our childhood days, parents just hit us if we were too confusing for them. It really was a shitty time to be any kind of neurodivergent.
sfdsquid@reddit
I'm sorry your parents hit you. Mine did not do that to me but they didn't understand my symptoms either.
ratsta@reddit
I lost count of the number of times I heard, "He's such a clever boy. If only he'd apply himself."
Talking with a friend of a friend over dinner a couple of months ago as he recounted his early 50s ADD diagnosis. It was like filling out a bingo card. Spoke to my GP/PCP and got the diagnosis last week, 45 years after when I needed it the most. Echocardiogram is next to make sure the drugs don't kill me. As I sit here having been on reddit for the last 14hrs without even looking at the uni assignment I'm supposed to submit in three weeks, I'm really hoping the drugs will help me be able to avoid avoidance and focus on unpleasant tasks.
I too, was taught to conceal weakness but the idea that speaking openly helps demystify and destigmatise a problem resonates with me. I've been very open about my depression since I got a diagnosis in my mid 30s and I intend to be open about ADD. I've told my close friends and just a few minutes ago my father but I made it 110% clear that mother was only to be told if she could be trusted to not tell everyone in the country before the sun sets. Oh, how we laughed! I can't see myself telling my boss because although my large employer is proactive in promoting acceptance, I don't think my boss needs to know. If the drugs work then it'll only benefit the business.
starsgoblind@reddit
Everyone has this so called disorder. I cant stand hearing about it. Get off your ass, have courage and stop blaming the fibromyalgia of mental health.
Puzzleheaded_Air_892@reddit
The can give mice fibro. A Swedish researcher- itâs an auto immune disorder.
OfficialOldestgenxer@reddit (OP)
Congratulations on being normal.
graceparagonique2024@reddit
Time for your meds
Glass-Squirrel2497@reddit
Hunters in a farmerâs world. Masking is exhausting- Iâd rather we not have to mask.
MonachopsisEternal@reddit
I convinced 99% of the population, least in Western countries is on the scale to some degree. Difference I believe is our parents, for the majority were get on. An donât whine. I think a part of that remains with us, itâs just more individual for younger generations.
Ultimately I want people to leave me alone and not bother / distract me so I yes treat everyone the same, and thatâs the mantra I go with. Unless someone has something that requires a different tract to get a result or answer.
kmd814@reddit
My husband says my motto should be âprogress through procrastination â lol.
sobayarea@reddit
Yep, and seeking treatment in my 50âs has been frustrating.
chib1977@reddit
Aspergers ,spent my youth being called 'shy'
inhelldorado@reddit
Diagnosed at 42. Wife pushed me. I was struggling with everything even though I have always been a high achiever. The power to push through wasnât there anymore. Meds to manage that and anxiety have given me some sense of control. I had to grieve the thought of what a different person I would have become without ADHD or treated when younger. However, I probably wouldnât have survived my childhood without it. Knowing things genetic, though, I can see where I got it from for sure. It starts to explain a lot about what happened when I was growing up.
nylondragon64@reddit
It's all bs to keep physiatrist making money. Everyone is adhd. I can hardly keep attention to type this reply.
robertglenncurry@reddit
I have ADHD, CPTSD, Anxiety and Depression, take meds, the works. I was adopted by a barren Evangelical couple who didn't love each other. I was physically abused, sexually abused, subjected to extreme religious torment, etc. I have never felt any shame in telling people - sometimes it's necessary - about the consequences of the abuse I endured by the adults in my life. My mental health profile is a stark condemnation of the worst of what happened to our generation and I think people need to see what was done to kids, especially those of us captured in Evangelical hells.
Plutoniumburrito@reddit
Female, diagnosed at 42 also. Always kinda knew. Thatâs when I stopped masking. Fuck it. Also when I found a job thatâs perfect-/ set schedule/routines, not much social interaction, I work with my hands.
My cousins all had it when we were kids, but my mom was so competitive with literally everyone for no damn reason. She loved to use me to brag and make everyone else feel less than, always talking about her âgiftedâ child. Always called my cousins dummies and retards. Everyone thinks that ADHD isnât a possibility if your grades are good. Surprise, mom, itâs your familyâs genetics that made all of us this way!
bunnybates@reddit
Almost all of us really.... ADHD is hereditary. Also, 45% of women with ADHD also have PMDD. PMDD gets misdiagnosed as a personality disorder far TOO often.
To our parents, they thought that this was THEIR personality and that we were lazy. My grandfather was diagnosed when he was 61
All 3 of my kids have ADHD, and both my daughters and I have ADHD and PMDD as well. I'm so passionate about ADHD and sex that I made it my field of study and work.
Please understand that we're not alone and that we're not broken. đ.
goingloopy@reddit
PMDD sucks so hard. I stayed on the depo shot for way too long because it was the only way to control it at all. I got my hormones tested, and the doctor was like âyou have no estrogen and thatâs bad.â Starting HRT hasnât fixed everything but at least I am no longer a walking hot flash.
Also a recent inattentive ADHD diagnosis, plus ongoing treatment resistant depression and anxiety.
I have an appointment with a psychiatrist NP to see about fixing my meds. I feel like there should be a more cohesive approach to mental health.
bunnybates@reddit
First, Happy Cake Day!đ. I hope that it was yummy!!!
Depo is a horrible birth control. There's a huge class action lawsuit going on with them , my niece and a good friend of mine are involved.
One of the issues with resistant depression I've found with my own family and clients is a couple of components. Like self sabotage, not feeling like "yourself" if you're not depressed, not feeling like you're worthy of happiness.....etc..
I live in the USA, and we're a shitty country when it comes to all facets of health care. If you could get an appointment with a nuero- psychologist, that would be incredible for you.
goingloopy@reddit
I donât know about a neuropsychologist around here. Weâve tried to find them for clients but not had much success.
I know depo has disadvantages, but I have always done really well on it. I lose weight because I donât have the PMDD that makes me cry for a week, cranky for a week, binge eating for a week, then bleeding for almost a week. No periods. My bone density is a little low, but Iâm 50 and off it and Iâm taking estrogen and a low dose progesterone only birth control pill. Menopause is a relief. Iâm also on several doctor-recommended supplements that will help with bone density.
One of my friends had really good luck with it. Some others didnât. If the class action has specific symptoms, I might check into it (I have bone density scans that show a significant change).
I forgot it even WAS my cake day. Sadly, I currently have no cake and Iâm too lazy to bake one. Iâll have to make up for it tomorrow.
bunnybates@reddit
Hopefully, you'll get some yummy cake tomorrow! Yes, please look into the depo case. I'm happy that you've had good luck with it thus far.
OfficialOldestgenxer@reddit (OP)
I'm sure that my mom had ADHD inattentive type, and that's what I have. Inattentive is more prevalent in women, as I understand, and it is also harder to diagnose than the hyper type with disruptive behavior.
bunnybates@reddit
I have combined type myself, and my husband has inattentive type.
"Hyperactive" is in the brain, so girls are allowed to be flighty, airhead, and chatty Kathy's. , whereas boys are given the right to be "disruptive" because the patriarchy hurts everyone.
Adhd affects everything, our mental, physical, emotional, and sexual health.
Excellent_Jaguar_675@reddit
Excellent comment. Thank you
bunnybates@reddit
Thank you, and you're welcome đ.
Gemfyre713@reddit
I'm 45 now and more and more sure I'm on the autism spectrum and likely have ADHD as well. But I'm now relatively settled with a job I like, so why spend all that time and money now?
seattlemh@reddit
Diagnosed when I was 44.
mr_oof@reddit
I was always the âabsent-minded professorâ through to high school, always effortlessly goodish marks until two years of IB classes with actual smarts almost made me rage-quit education entirely. Then, meandering through a BA over 6 years because no urgency, getting out with a degree that got me nothing. Fell backwards into every job, relationship and living arrangement in my life. How Iâve made it happily to 54 is beyond me.
TheColdWind@reddit
Hey buddy! 53 yr old doppelgĂ€nger here. Great marks, ADHD, worthless degree, falling backwards, all of it. Finally bottomed out to living in my folks formal dining room. I have really strong art and design experience and skills, but have burned so many incredible bridges I canât get back in to my career. Struggling just to not to lose all my shit in storage. Started working with yet another counselor recently. He asked me, âDo you even want to get better?â. Iâm not sure I even do any more. Completely burnt out. DM me if you ever wanted to discuss, would be interesting to hear from another whoâs like me. Peace friend!
Typical-Horror-5247@reddit
Samsies, Iâm exhausted menopause and adhd is truly miserable. Hope yâall figure it out and do ok.
TheColdWind@reddit
Thanks, just need one more chance, ya know. Be well friendâïž
AcceptableSuit9328@reddit
I was diagnosed at 47 with ADHD. My immediate response was disbelief. After it sunk in talking to my shrink some more I felt anger. All the signs were there when I was a kid. My Dad was all over my ass about school, nonstop and I have some resentment there now. My Dad passed away in 2013 and Iâll never have an opportunity to say all my bitter thoughts about school growing up to him. I was lazy, didnât want to work. I knew sports stats because it was interesting to me. I was supposed to force myself to make algebra and science interesting so I could learn it the same. I didnât want to work. I wasnât reaching my full potential. I heard all that stuff but the reality is that there was more to it than just laziness and not wanting to work.
vixisgoodenough@reddit
I'm not neurodivergent, I'm gifted.
JuliusSeizuresalad@reddit
I got diagnosed in the late 70âs but it was called hyperactive hyper connect
theXsquid@reddit
In my day, we were called spas! Never been diagnosed, but while filling out a questionaire for my step son, I would have answered yes to almost very symptom concerning myself. Just learned to deal with it with age and wisdom.
Jersey_Girl_12@reddit
My pediatrician told my mom I was hyperactive and to remove artificial flavoring/coloring from my diet. My mom tried for a while (and she said everyone in my family felt better), but it was just too hard to keep up because so many foods had those ingredients. So my pediatrician knew in the 70âs that artificial food additives werenât good for us.
disco_cerberus@reddit
I donât have it but Iâve gotten better at spotting boomers that do, and that are on the spectrum.
âOh shit - he wonât stop talking about Game of thrones, and canât keep friends, and thinks the same jokes from the office 15 years ago are still awesome? Heâs not an asshole, heâs on the spectrum.â
Fun_Steak3415@reddit
I was diagnosed at 48 and called out my boss last year for not "giving grace" (one of her fave lines) to neurodivergent staff members during my yearly evaluation, lol đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
The look on her face was amaaaaaazing!!! Thank God I can retire in 2 years đ€Ź
ScarletRobin31415@reddit
I was "gifted" in school. In retrospect, I was absolutely AuDHD. They were so focused on the academic aspect they ignored my social awkwardness and weirdness. I've never bothered with a formal diagnosis, especially since I'd refuse medications anyway. There'd be no benefit. I know who I am and manage (most days) to get by.
eveban@reddit
We should start a club. The awkward smart kids that were expected to excel but really didn't care. I'm 48 and have managed to get thru life but I'm getting tired of trying to be "normal". My 18 yr old daughter told me this weekend that she's pretty sure I'm at least ADHD, maybe more. I rely on coffee to function most days and at the end of the day, I'm just over it all. I'm glad my kids have turned out so great and that I'm at a point in my life that I can spend my free time hiding in my garden. It's nice to be able to just be weird and not care what anyone thinks.
ScarletRobin31415@reddit
Yes!!!! In retrospect I think about all I got away wit b
FlippyTheRed@reddit
Yep. I didn't have ADHD - I was "gifted" and just "bored" with school. My parents had me moved UP a grade rather than get me any help.
Moar_Donuts@reddit
55 here, diagnosed with severe ADHD and dyslexia later in life. I never liked my brain it was never ânormalâ it seemed like everyone else around me was on easy mode, and I always struggled. The endless compulsions ,the skewed way of thinking, changing mind every three seconds, trouble in relationships, difficulty with languages, canât read a book and remember what I read to save my life. Oh well, too much infoâŠooh look something shiny over there.
Typical-Horror-5247@reddit
Youâre not alone, one of my friends said it perfectly when we were talking about our shared adhd experiences, âItâs like everyone but me had the guidebook to lifeâ
Technical_Chemistry8@reddit
"Masking is my accommodation."
Same.
HeavySkinz@reddit
What led to you getting diagnosed? Just curious, I've always wondered if I was a little touched by that shit too
Feeling_Photograph_5@reddit
I've never been diagnosed (never asked to be) but I'd be shocked if I didn't have it. It's hard. There wasn't as much awareness of it when we were kids. I'm glad, though. If I'd been medicated for it I likely wouldn't have been able to enlist in the Army, and enlisting was how I turned my life around when I was in a very rough spot.
Typical-Horror-5247@reddit
I was diagnosed about 3 years ago well into my 40âs. My entire life made so much more sense after I got diagnosed and started learning more about ADHD, it was like finding missing pieces of a puzzle. I always felt like an outsider looking in and could never figure out why. I did well enough? Somehow I was pretty good at stumbling/struggle bussing through life. But now that Iâm medicated and donât have 20 convos going off in my head at once I sometimes shake my fist into the sky and yell âI could have done so much moreâ then something sparkly steals my attention and I forget all about it and move on.
Scattergun77@reddit
No, we had ADD.
Delicious_Bus3644@reddit
Literally everyone, go to the parenting sub, 9 out of 10 kids have ADHD, come on guys. You donât wanna clean your house and you procrastinate about it, ADHD Medicaid immediately!
Mirabeau_@reddit
Turn out people really like taking speed
Iforgotmypwrd@reddit
I think itâs because kids donât play freely anymore.
digawina@reddit
Hi, mom of a kid with ADHD and just diagnosed myself. It's absolutely not an "I don't wanna clean my house" thing. Yes, more people are diagnosed with it now, because there is more understanding of what it is. We also do live in a different world. So I was okay as a kid, but the world wasn't throwing things at me every 10 seconds, so the ADHD I had, personally, wasn't noticeable (though in hindsight there were signs, just not academically). Now put someone with ADHD in a 21st century world and it lets that ADHD SHINE. Things change, the world changes, we gain knowledge, and how we deal with things changes along with that. Now we know that not everyone is built the same, not everyone processes the same. So we should just ignore that because "back in my day you were just lazy!" Cool.
HURTBOTPEGASUS9@reddit
My school diagnosed me as lazy. I'd say something mean about my 4th grade teacher but that might trigger the mod but she was old then and probably already dead and burning in hell right now anyway.
cheesecheeseonbread@reddit
I strongly recommend never requesting disability accommodation of any kind, after I did so due to an illness and was forcibly retired as a result.
VinylHighway@reddit
Liberally everybody complains that they have ADD these days just because they have never learned how to concentrate for long periods of time. I used to think so about me too but I learned to adapt. (the only reason I think I a like that is that stimulants have a contra-indicative affect on me).
If you can get by without accommodation, does it really matter what your diagnosis is?
goingloopy@reddit
With ADD, itâs not that you canât concentrate. Itâs that itâs very difficult to concentrate on things you consider boring or pointless or stupid. My mom never considered ADD with me because I was able to laser-focus, but I also did a lot of daydreaming and procrastinating and have some âI need dopamineâ behaviors.
The diagnosis made my whole life make much more sense. I am seeing someone later this week who can hopefully streamline managing ADD, anxiety, treatment resistant depression, and probably a little PTSD. Oh, and menopause, which makes everything worse.
VinylHighway@reddit
Iâm like that itâs very hard to pay attention to stuff I donât care about without effort. But I can do it I mean I have done it when I needed to.
goingloopy@reddit
I have done it too, but it seems like it takes more effort than it used to.
VinylHighway@reddit
I think thatâs just normal as we get older
Untermensch13@reddit
I went to a hippy school with written evaluations instead of grades. I still remember my Math teacher writing that I needed to "Buckle Down and Get to Work!"
Icy_Hippo@reddit
"doesn't sit still"
"gets distracted easily"
"only does work she's interested in"
"rushes work"
"Needs to try harder"
"doesn't take criticism well"
But
"Highly creative"
"imaginative"
"sporty"
"popular"
"caring towards others"
I got diagnosed at 44 ADHD and ASD
GracieThunders@reddit
I guess terminal procrastination counts?
2begreen@reddit
lol this. Iâll let some things go for months then get in a mood to fix it.
LibertyMike@reddit
I was diagnosed as being "hyperactive" when I was a kid, which is pretty much the same as ADHD. I don't need to worry about hiding it from anyone. They all already know. Sometimes though, if I'm working on some tasks at work, like programming, I seem to be able to get laser focused. That and video games.
feder_online@reddit
I was diagnosed as ADD/Hyperactive in...like...6th grade.
There are a lot of things I can really focus on (eg. programming and the micro-hits of dopamine), but there are days I stop myself, I'm staring at the garbage can, and realize I just walked through every room of the house trying to do something that was derailed by the "Oh, wait...I need to..." and off I went for an hour or so bouncing from thing to thing. Admittedly, I am way better at coping now (through decades of practice) and it is generally grief/emotionally induced.
I love places like Buffalo Wild Wings...I can track three games while drinking a beer and having lunch, like they built that f-ing craziness just for me. There is rarely such a thing as "over stimulation" for me. That tends to drive my wife crazy.
The first time my wife (a psychologist) actually saw it in action, she let me go until I un-derailed myself. She was using me as a crash test dummy for her practice...lollolz. Her family knows, my family knows, a lot of friends know...I don't try to hide it, but I never mentioned it in interviews.
2begreen@reddit
I can sit for hours at slot machines. My GF also diagnosed ADD canât stand them.
1singhnee@reddit
I knew boys at school with ADHD (we just called it ADD), but I never got diagnosed because girls didnât get ADD.
I got diagnosed at 25 or so.
Earthling_Like_You@reddit
In our day we were just spanked for not behaving.
We were sent to play outside if we couldn't sit still.
We were sent to our rooms if we couldn't pay attention in class and got in trouble.
Now we're 50...60 years old and scratching our heads at how these young folks are being helped and treated versus how we were treated.
2begreen@reddit
Also 60. I was âdiagnosedâ early tweens. My dad was a pediatrician and worked with some docs that did early research. I was never told upfront I had it till I was a little older. About 19/20 ish. Never had accommodation in school or work. Did get lots of outside tutoring that I hated.
They were experimenting with stimulants in those days. I had found a bottle of dexidrine in my folks medicine cabinet in my name at age 16. Took a few of those at once and spent the entire night cleaning and organizing my bedroom lol.
As a young adult I took Ritalin but didnât like the fluctuations.
Heavily self medicating on caffeine, nicotine weed or whatever I could get my hands on. Basically became an addict.
When I left high school my gpa was below 1. I always wanted to program space invaders in the computer club at high school but my asshole math teacher said I wasnât smart enough.
Just spent the last 23 years teaching computer software at a tech college now am the IT director for a private school.
Non medicated for ADHD no accommodations and doing great.
For all its problems my life is not bad.
Duce_canoe@reddit
I'm good, I have more than enough
billymumfreydownfall@reddit
As if Boomers aren't the greatest undiagnosed. With their stamp collecting, mini spoon collections, and model trains that the grandkids could not touch, they led the way. Plus they have the gall to say ADHD was not a thing when they were young. Okay, dad, with your 26 pair of the exact same Levi's.
Skylark7@reddit
Pretty sure Dad has it.
As an aside, I'm so over people calling anyone over 30 years old a Boomer.
Super13@reddit
I'm gonna agree and add in that the whole Boomer and Karen thing is well beyond its used by date.
Environmental-Car481@reddit
I just asked for a rx for modafinil this year. We had my 19yo try it mainly to help with adhd symptoms due to autism. The more I read peopleâs reviews, the more I thought my hubby should try it. I was at an appointment and asked for it myself. It makes a difference and Iâm not shy about mentioning being on an adhd med.
Sea-Morning-772@reddit
I'm now convinced that I am a victim of leaded gasoline. The symptoms include ADHD, depression and anxiety. I read that article and felt called out.
stgvxn_cpl@reddit
Early 60s. Always knew I could be âspasticâ. Remember that word? Daughter spent years working with autistic kids. Assures me that I am definitely on the spectrum. Been taking delta9 and some real stuff. I am finding that it makes my symptoms worse. Or so I thought at first. Now, I think it is making me drop some of the masking Iâve taught myself as a survival tool over the years. The masking drops, the symptoms become more visible. Thatâs my theory. Iâm prob not gonna bother with getting diagnosed. Whatâs it going to do for me at this point. Iâm getting the self understanding by just self eval and learning more about adult it all.
cme74@reddit
I was diagnosed at 44, 50 now. I always knew I was ADD...I do 5 different things at once, have OCD tendencies, and can't stay focused for very long to save my life (but I have never caused a car accident? Focus just fine when my life depends on it, apparently, and when I am really interested in something).
I do take meds as they were prescribed to me after my diagnosis. Sometimes they help, but honestly, sometimes they don't. ADD does what it wants! It's crazy brain, for sure. I also exercise a lot and eat healthy, which helps symptoms.
Fluorescent lights hurt my ADD brain very badly.
International_Tip996@reddit
Diagnosed 4 months ago. I'm 48.
mdhockeycop4913@reddit
After a panic attack caused by an asshole boss I saw a mental health specialist and was diagnosed with ADHD-PI, general anxiety disorder, PTSD, and depression. The doctor didnât recommend medication, but Iâve been using meditation and breathing exercises to help. Works about 60% of the time.
DollChiaki@reddit
Went in for seasonal affective disorder, was DXed ADHD. Okay. Neither treatment seems to fix me, so itâs just me and my caffeine problem over here.
MaleficentMousse7473@reddit
Iâm pretty sure i have it, but i donât need accommodation for things like tests. Iâm with op - would prefer to keep on masking and taking meds as needed
Square_Song_2182@reddit
Age 56. I'm the boss and everyone knows that I'm highly distractible. They've learned to announce themselves at my door and wait until I finish my immediate task before asking their questions. It has saved my career that the staff and volunteers know this about me. I also rarely answer the telephone, because it is always something that pulls me away from doing the things I need do get done. I respond to calls on my own timeline.
I'm neurodivergent as are some of my staff and mental health is discussed openly at work. This is our normal.
AdhesiveSeaMonkey@reddit
Haha! This makes me think of my students. They all know they can get out of a math lesson by asking about space science or some popular physics concepts. I'll blabber all day about those things, so they use this against me on big days.
Square_Song_2182@reddit
My kryptonite is if something needs fixed, I'll immediately grab my tools and go tinker with it. Never mind the more important things.
xxhighlanderxx@reddit
Lol I have a friend like that. May I ask what field you are in?
Square_Song_2182@reddit
I'm a United Methodist pastor in Southern California.
Adorable-Artichoke22@reddit
Mine was further complicated by abuse, physical and otherwise in the home. Didn't do homework, because it wasn't safe to do it, three days later getting my hide torn off because of yet another parent teacher conference. All I learned was that adults weren't to be trusted because they're all in chaoots.
whitewitchblackcat@reddit
I was diagnosed just before my 40th birthday. I only have the ADD, no hyperactivity. Up until then, I thought everyoneâs brain ran constantly and making lists color coding everything in order to keep things straight was normal. I was so good at it that people praised me for my organizational skills. Little did they or I know it wasnât a skill but a necessity. Kind of hilarious Iâve spent most of my life getting paid for those âskills.â đ€Ł
popps1974@reddit
I had it. My medication was ⊠nunsâŠ
Glum-One2514@reddit
I've come to believe I am. My son struggles with it and once I started paying close attention, I realized I have a lot of the same issues.
I find I've developed all kinds of little hacks over the decades to mitigate most of the negative stuff. If I were to get diagnosed and treated, I'm not sure I would be the same person.
AccomplishedBus7493@reddit
Oh I'm loaded with ADHD and to be honest most of the people I work with are too in fact we talk about it frequently it doesn't bother me what other people think about me instead of rejecting the idea that I have ADHD I embraced it as well as I embrace the fact that I'm bipolar.
discussatron@reddit
Iâm 57 and if I was a teenager now, Iâd have a diagnosis and school accommodations.
LayThatPipe@reddit
I was diagnosed at 46
Dry-Daikon4068@reddit
I think a lot of us realized we had it when our kids got diagnosed.
Low-Spell-6821@reddit
I was diagnosed at 45. Iâm 52 now and just started grad school. I have no qualms or shame about sharing it.
RAWR_Orree@reddit
I'm still undiagnosed, except for by my own daughter who has been diagnosed for about 10 years and opened my eyes to all the behaviors and issues I have that align with it (she does a lot of reading and educates herself on it).
I'm an older GenX (1968), and this stuff just wasn't a thing that was talked about when I was a kid. I had to figure out how to function "normally" on my own.
miscwit72@reddit
I'm 52. I was diagnosed at 36 when I had a kid and being responsible for another life sent me over the edge. My never sit lifestyle hid the fact I can't plan a damn thing and worked twice as hard to accomplish my goals.
Silver_Objective7144@reddit
My girlfriend swears I have it, and bugs me about it all the time lol
mediaogre@reddit
Working through it now. Diagnosed just late last year after a journey of learning about our little oneâs diagnosis, the genetic implications, and my wife finding an excellent, amazingly in-network adult psych evaluator. (PDX area đ)
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Fuck! I literally just saw this and realized I was late for a telehealth visit for adhd meds and the guy didn't show up đ
But yes, I was diagnosed about six or seven years ago and it's gotten significantly worse the pasy year.
pearlgirl10@reddit
Not diagnosed but Iâm 100% sure I have it. I see things pop up in my Facebook feeds with âsymptoms and âif you do this you have adhdâ kind of things and it sure explains a lot of what I do
jk_pens@reddit
Iâm like 95% sure I have it, my wife is 100% sure I do đ
UncleFlip@reddit
My wife says the same about me. She explains all my symptoms and what they mean. Some of it does make sense and explains so much. Recently changed doctors so maybe I'll mention it next appointment.
pearlgirl10@reddit
đ
GreatGreenGobbo@reddit
After reading this thread they will come around again.
mahjimoh@reddit
Happy cake day!
pearlgirl10@reddit
Aww thanks!! I didnât even notice!
Humble_Scarcity1195@reddit
Is the same for ASD (autism). From talking to my kids paediatrician, I am likely ASD as well as they both are and I show pretty much all of the traits to get a diagnosis. I'm just too cheap to bother getting it as it won't make a difference to me now.
Effective-Ebb-2805@reddit
ADHD and all least severe parts of the autism spectrum. What you got was: "The kid's just a hyperactive little jerk! We'll beat it out of him!" Or: "The kid's just antisocial and immature ".
Fuzzy_Strawberry1180@reddit
I was diagnosed at 57
Edge_of_yesterday@reddit
I was diagnosed a few years ago. I went to a new doctor (in his early 30s) recently and he asked me twice if I had been diagnosed as a child. I told him twice that it wasn't a thing when I was a child, I was just labeled as "lazy" or "dumb". He didn't even seem to understand what I was saying.
graceparagonique2024@reddit
Damn kids
Mysterious-Taste-804@reddit
Definitely. Just minus the H part. Definitely the ADD.
The_Alternym@reddit
I was diagnosed at 24. It was a life changing experience.
icrossedtheroad@reddit
I haven't been diagnosed, but have learned more about its symptoms and I most definitely fit into the profile. What could've been...
graceparagonique2024@reddit
I'm still undiagnosed at 50. I've always had problems maintaining close friendships, romances, interest in school, hobbies, jobs....you name it. The only 3 things that seem to interest me are eating, smoking weed and masturbating.
nobody2008@reddit
Diagnosed during my second college degree (3rd if we count the failed attempt) in my late 20's. I've tried to live without meds until now (almost 50) but it eventually caused depression. Family and society have these expectations but they do not understand. To them, I should get disciplined and learn to be organized but at the same time I am perfect the way I am (lie) blah blah as if I have a perfectly functioning brain. I cannot even get addicted to drugs because I will forget about them the next day lol.
kalelopaka@reddit
I donât have AD/HD, never had any learning difficulties or attention deficits.
Kaffine69@reddit
They just called us hyper and sent us outside.
steelywolf66@reddit
I did some weird shit as a kid - stripped my Grandadâs petrol lawnmower when I was 5, constantly removed door handles and anything else I could unscrew, told my teachers they were wrong and had a foul temper.
The school told my parents I was âhyperactiveâ and left me to it. Never been for any kind of diagnosis but Iâm also pretty sure Iâm not ânormalâ (whatever that is!)
lassiemav3n@reddit
The current narrative that ADHD is completely made up massively contributes to me not sharing my diagnosis. I donât feel like defending myself over it, nor do I fancy feeling paranoid that people I tell are secretly thinking negative things about me, so I very rarely divulge it! Thereâs really no explanation for any of the outcomes in my life without factoring in my severe ADHD, but I still end up with imposter syndrome given the regular headlines about overdiagnosis! Itâs a few years since I was diagnosed, but unfortunately none of the meds commonly prescribed in the UK worked out for me.
AdhesiveSeaMonkey@reddit
I have a hard time with this, because when I was a kid, we (kids and parents) just called this lazy, or daydreaming, or whatever. But it had no label and you were forced to work past it. Or fail. But even if you failed, you had vocational options, so no one ever really missed out on leading a good life if they wanted it.
My entire family tells me I probably have ADD, but because of my upbringing, I'm not going to go get checked out because at this point.... it's basically who I am. I don't want accommodations from anyone, I don't want medications, I don't even want the discussion.
I have a bit of a hard time with how open everyone is with it because there are a lot of folks who are diagnosing themselves via instagram, never seeing a doctor, and wanting unofficial accommodations for it from the rest of us. I don't like it when people try to define themselves by their shortcomings.
There, I said it. Now get off my lawn!
Skylark7@reddit
If you don't feel like you need help in your life that's great. However, don't mistake me saying I have ADHD and am getting treatment for self-victimization. That's bloody insulting.
AdhesiveSeaMonkey@reddit
I didnât say it was victimization, though i see how that could be inferred. If by commiserating you mean getting/giving support, Iâm all for it. I hear commiserating and I think wallowing. I think what we have here is a battle of semantics. Find your support. Use your support. But donât make telling everyone about your challenges your personality.
I am fully aware that I may be sounding harsh. Load that in the semantic battle bucket.
Skylark7@reddit
Openness is one of the primary ways people go about destigmatizing health conditions.
I see the IG folks who are constantly looking for a disorder or marginalized group to identify with and then asking for accommodations as self-victimizing. They all have to find a way to be special snowflakes.
Mynbruje_Justice@reddit
Forgive me if this has been posted but itâs an article that may interest some: https://scitechdaily.com/born-before-1996-according-to-scientists-leaded-gas-may-have-permanently-altered-your-personality/. Which places us square in the center of this. As someone with ADD in my 50âs it may shed some light on a possible reason. As always, research and inquire.
JuracichPark@reddit
I was diagnosed in the early 80s, and went on Ritalin for 10 years. It absolutely helped, although a lot less abuse/neglect would have helped as well. 50 now, and been on Concerta for a few years. My life has definitely improved, and the ADHD sub here has been amazing. All the stuff we couldn't talk about, and more, in great depth and with lots of support.
JenninMiami@reddit
I was diagnosed at 41 in 2021. đ
EngineeringSuper5248@reddit
If I had a nickel for every time I had to have a conference or talk with a teacher, Iâd be financially free!!! Unless you were banging off the walls, you werenât diagnosed. My life could have been vastly different if they had treatments for this back then. But, whatcha gon do? I am still undiagnosed and un medicated. I have found a way to make it work.
Carlito4144@reddit
Diagnosed at 52. Have had all the symptoms of it for as long as I remember. Parents when I was very young took me to check my hearing, occupational therapy, etc. Kills me to know that I could have been completely different had it been something that was diagnosed back then.
Actually hurts alot (regret) of all those things I couldn't control or didn't have the tools to control at a younger age. And I was a mess.
Ok-Local138@reddit
Wow, can i relate to this. My son was diagnosed with ADHD last year and in getting all the information and getting him a 504 etc, I realized I myself have ADHD. It was one of those revelations that completely put my life in perspective. I'm also about to turn 60 and there's really not a lot I can do about it, other than to understand that all the ways i've been masking for this have created a lot of unnecessary strain for me. As an example, I thought it was normal my whole life to get to the weekend and be exhausted - not normal exhausted, but bone-tired exhausted because I'd been masking all week at school or work. And I have less guilt maybe? I always thought there was something morally wrong with me, but now I know it's just the way my brain works. I'm not lazy.
The reason I got so good at masking so young is that there was zero awareness of this when I was a kid. You were just lazy or in my case "he always has his head in the clouds." My parents knew I was really smart from testing and teacher evaluations, so if I got bad grades I was really shamed and punished. So I just worked that much harder. It makes me sad for young me, seeing how much I can help my son navigate his diagnosis and improve his situation without shame or guilt.
amazonhelpless@reddit
Got by with high IQ, wasnât diagnosed until my late 20s.Â
fallencoward1225@reddit
I've been joking seriously about mine for years and then had a horrible realization recently, if you claim to be ADHD - diagnosed or not - can your memory be questioned as if to say, "your memory of events is questionable due to your ADHD".......that's the kind of deep thinking that would have been nice before all the joking around đ
residentweevil@reddit
Absolutely correct on all counts. Other undiagnosed conditions include celiac disease and autism.
Somerhild_wode@reddit
Pretty sure I'm undiagnosed
OKCannabisConsulting@reddit
46 years old diagnosed 2 months ago
Lost_Constant3346@reddit
47 and diagnosed last week.
OKCannabisConsulting@reddit
Are you medicated yet?
Lost_Constant3346@reddit
I have my med appointment later this week! It was going to be next month, but there was a cancelation, so I'm getting seen early. Fingers crossed that something...anything...works!
Thomaswebster4321@reddit
Now theyâre saying itâs lead.
_TxMonkey214_@reddit
Most perimenopause women I know are diagnosed with ADHD. Similar symptoms.
Ok_Sundae2107@reddit
There are a lot of people giving examples of procrastination as if it is ADD or ADHD. Do these things go hand in hand? I have two kids with ADHD. They are lazy and they do procrastinate, but I was never aware of this being part of their ADHD. What caused my wife and I have them evaluated is that neither of them were able to focus on school work. For my daughter, it started in 3rd grade. It started earlier for my son. When he was in pre-k, he would be running around the room while the other kids were quietly sitting in circle time. They are both in high school now. Both are extremely smart. Both get straight As. My daughter is a senior and is graduating in the top 1% of her high school class and has a 1430 SAT. My son is on that same path. But they both struggle to focus on their work. They both take adderall, but it only works so long. My son starts losing focus again when he gets home from school. I don't want to increase the dose because it makes him not want to eat all day and he is so thin because of it. The weird thing is that they don't take their meds on the weekend and they can concentrate for hours and hours on other things they are interested in --- like hobbies. So confusing!
OfficialOldestgenxer@reddit (OP)
This is exactly how it is. Yes, procrastination is absolutely an ADHD trait. I put the Pro in procrastination. I would like to suggest that maybe you don't call your kids lazy. They aren't, they really aren't. And what is going on in their heads-- they already feel bad about not being able to get things done. They aren't lazy, they are locked up.
Ok_Sundae2107@reddit
Well, for other reasons they are. It's hard to get them to do things without push back. It isn't just the procrastination.
OfficialOldestgenxer@reddit (OP)
Yeah, I hear ya. There's also being a teen, too.
SnooCupcakes6131@reddit
At 49(f) I had a chat with the new consultant psychiatrist on the ward I work, an hour later he said I very likely have adhd, dyspraxia and autism, and said that the three often go hand in hand. It explains a hell of a lot!!
Beansidhe68@reddit
I was diagnosed at 54. Iâm currently 56. My parents didnât believe in things like ADHD or seeing a therapist so if it was ever brought to their attention they would have ignored it.
Iâm also female and expert at masking things to appear ânormalâ to the outside world. In the last five years, Iâve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, a panic disorder that presents as agoraphobia, PTSD, and ADHD.
Now my therapist wants me to consider being evaluated for autism. At this point and at my age I donât see a point to it, but it would have been nice if help would have been available when I was in school. But it wasnât for our generation.
tg1024@reddit
The more I look at the symptoms of adhd in girls, the more I see myself. Not extreme, but I probably would have benefitted from some kind intervention.
Jameson-Mc@reddit
Wrong - we are the last generation not to be poisoned to death as kids by shitty food, shitty pills and shitty behavior and cell phone technology
This-Bug8771@reddit
Got diagnosed at 33! It turns out I wasn't just a lazy shit like m parents and teachers thought.
Pretty_Substance_312@reddit
I wasnât diagnosed but I think I should have been
Please share script with me
United_Wasabi_3682@reddit
My parents suspected I had it back in â84 when I was ten. Gave me St. Johnâs wort for like a week and then walked away never mentioning it again
Nifty29au@reddit
They gave you worts???
thisthingwecalllife@reddit
My husband is 51 and just recently diagnosed officially, but as a kid, he was put in classes with the other kids like him who "can't sit still." No official name but clearly he was struggling.
Nycdaddydude@reddit
I have a bad case. Iâve known for a while but havenât been diagnosed yet. I finally tried a small amount of adderall and it was crazy how my mind didnât wander.
VeeLund@reddit
âDaydreamerâ âinattentiveâ âreads nonstop instead of doing schoolwork/has trouble transitioning between subjectsâ âmotormouthâ Just some of what was said to me/about me as a kid. (Diagnosed in my late 20âs, am 52 now & refuse medication)
So many, many negative statements. I advocate for kids/teens with ADHD because I want them to feel better about themselves and want others to be kind.
avrus@reddit
I was diagnosed in the 70s quite young, and heavily medicated until Jr. High School. I'm thankful for that otherwise I would likely be in jail or dead at this point.
About to turn 50, I don't talk about ADHD much and if you want to know why you just have to read a bunch of comments in here.
thejake1973@reddit
My wife and I like both have it to a degree. It is especially apparent in our hobbies where we go hard at the start, get bored, and find another hobby.
FredOaks15@reddit
I just got diagnosed. What does it feel like after if you have the proper medication?
Nocturne2319@reddit
My pediatrician diagnosed me as hyperactive in 1982 or so, and told my grandmother to not give me candy, particularly chocolate.
What I was, however, was a major daydreamer. So he missed the right diagnosis by a bit.
Now, I'm finally setting up an appointment for a neuropsych eval. I'm 49 years old. About fricken time. đ
DreadGrrl@reddit
I was diagnosed in my mid-20s: after my first son was diagnosed.
ChavoDemierda@reddit
I was diagnosed back in 87 a few months after a really bad car accident.
Select-Pie6558@reddit
I got diagnosed a few years ago in my mid 40âs, and it makes me mad that I didnât know and wasnât treated. Instead it was âanxietyâ. No, I had anxiety caused by all my masking. I genuinely feel like I could have done so much more.
Middle_Speed3891@reddit
Yep, got diagnosed after turning 40.
Due-Reflection-1835@reddit
Getting diagnosed at 44...they always labeled it depression but it's never improved with any antidepressant. Also it didn't have a beginning, it's just the way I've always been. I have to set reminders for everything and write down anything I don't want to forget. I'm iffy about medication, on one hand I would love to experience not struggling with everyday tasks. On the other hand, between the shortages and the uncertain political climate, I would hate to have to stop taking it once I got used to it. Thinking I might be better off with natural methods of coping even if they don't work as well
Survive1014@reddit
I think most people use ADHD as a excuse for poor personal behavior TBH.
Life sucks, but you are still accountable for your actions. Or should be.
Skylark7@reddit
I think people use being anonymous on Reddit as an excuse for poor personal behavior TBH.
Life sucks, but you are still accountable for trolling. Or should be.
digawina@reddit
ADHD is WAY more than a behavior issue. People who use it as an excuse for poor behavior probably don't have it and don't know much about it.
CountPacula@reddit
Diagnosed with TS in my 20s, ADHD and OCD in my 30s, and finally ASD in my 50s.
spacetstacy@reddit
I found out I have ADHD when I was 36. My son has it, and during one of his doctors visits, his pediatrician handed me a questionnaire and told me to fill it out and bring it to my own PCP. Concerta was a game changer.
peteandpenny@reddit
Wow, I can relate to most of these comments! 56F, was diagnosed at age 28. ADHD would have never crossed my mind because I was the inattentive type. And the general view was that girls donât have ADHD.
I have taken Ritalin since I was 28, except when I was pregnant or nursing babies. One frustration is that I read about Wellbutrin (and how it helps with ADHD) when I was diagnosed, but my doctor didnât think I needed it. Last year, my current doc prescribed Wellbutrin for depression and it has been a game changer for my ADHD brain. Kind of makes me wonder what the last 28 years would have been like if I was taking Wellbutrin đ€·ââïž
It is great how open younger people are about ADHD and meds. When I was diagnosed in 1997, most people were uncomfortable about the subject. I wanted to shout about it off the rooftops because I felt like I finally understood myself and my behavior!
Fortunately, my Silent Gen mom was chill about it and was very supportive. She probably had ADHD herself, but never wanted to try the meds.
BubbaChanel@reddit
Iâll be 57 this year, diagnosed at 33 by the psychiatrist I worked for. He made us put our diplomas/licenses/certs on our office wall, and when he strolled by later, he did a double take. He came back in and said, âWhat the hell?!? Thereâs got to be a story thereâŠâ
Story was a BS, a BA, an MS, and an EdS, plus a license and a certification. I switched things up a lot.
Excellent_Jaguar_675@reddit
Nice job. One of those degrees is also for specializing in learning disability assessment and treatment (along with other educational interventions). Be proud of yourself!
be_just_this@reddit
46 diagnosed at 45!
Everything tracks so much
Stunning_Run_7354@reddit
I had the teacher notes about how I spent too much time daydreaming and drawing pictures instead of listening. My parents decided to treat it by putting me on the swim team in 8th grade, and that actually helped a tremendous amount throughout high school.
We homeschooled our kids, partly because of the struggles I had. I could sit still or learn, but not both.
When I joined the Army, I was able to stand up during classes (they didnât call it an accommodation because it was a method for exhausted students to stay awake). I found that standing up helped math make sense.
I just got officially diagnosed two years ago. The ADHD symptoms were getting worse- possibly because minor brain injuries from the war had changed something or maybe just because. I am now on medication for it- the slow release version- and itâs been amazing. I donât feel different at all, but the noises, random thoughts, and everything else are less distracting. Itâs made a big difference for me.
Of course the doctor says it is all temporary because stimulates will eventually cause heart problems, but for now at least it helps.
I actually like working in an environment where I can talk about accommodations with my supervisor. I donât want much, mostly some patience if I need to take breaks or adjust my schedule. I like to see it as identifying things that help me be more successful, and my success is also my employerâs success.
haldiekabdmchavec@reddit
Younger generations legit seem to confer status on their peers who disclose deficiencies. Like badge of honor sorta. Counter intuitive to me too
NoIamthatotherguy@reddit
Did you see that post over on ask reddit? What was it you asked?
glorificent@reddit
Does anyone else remember how big of a stigma it carried in the 80s?
My family was appalled at the suggestion lol ⊠and every single one of me and my cousins have ADHD big-time.
daddyjohns@reddit
I have advanced adhd which just means i'm a menace. I was tested over and over and over and over in the 70s. They wanted to commit me, in order to study me for a while. Good ole alabama.
Fast forward to college i see a psychologist for an evaluation take a 1500 question exam in 25 minutes et viola adhd with anxiety disorder compete with ocd in there. I'm guessing i'm on the spectrum but need to see another doctor to determine.
I've been without medicine to treat my adhd for nearly three years because the state of tennessee has some really ducked up laws.
So yea they had a chance to diagnose me in childhood and mucked it up.
Sicsurfer@reddit
Diagnosed at 54, two years after sobriety. I blamed all my shit on alcohol and it turn out it was all me
dangerstupidkills@reddit
Back then it was called "just being a boy"
Excellent_Jaguar_675@reddit
Wow! I was just winding if this question had been asked here! I got diagnosed with ADHD but really suspect itâs Audhd. It makes the most sense to me and explains my life like no other âdiagnosisâ
LiquidSoCrates@reddit
In my day they just called you weird, lazy or stupid. Sometimes all three.
TossAccou-n-t@reddit
Was diagnosed at 36
Dynamo_Ham@reddit
55 and have absolutely been undiagnosed ADHD my whole life. And I knew it, my parents knew it, my teachers knew it - just didnât have the words to describe it. âSmart but disinterested.â âChronic Procrastinator.â âSeems bored with class.â âMoody.â âCanât sit still.â âNeeds to apply himself more.â
Frankly Iâve lived a happy and fulfilling life despite the issues. Maybe it could have been even better with treatment, etc., but whatever. Reluctant to try and fix what ainât broke.
AggressiveWallaby975@reddit
My parents wouldn't have tolerated nor accepted that diagnosis when I was growing up. Not even an option. I sought treatment on my own as an adult and it made a huge difference in so many facets of my life. I don't really have the hyperactive part and i think that was the main focus for our generation. People with ADD were just looked at a being lazy or not caring.
I've always excelled at each job I've had but was terrible at managing stress that went with them. Turns out a ton of that stress was just the ADD. Anxiety, oh yeah a bunch of that was ADD. It kinda sucks because I do wonder how my life would be different had I gotten treated earlier.
But, same as you. I don't tell anyone anything about it other than my wife and internet strangers.
hdmx539@reddit
I got diagnosed 3 years ago at 53.
WileyCoyote7@reddit
Diagnosed last year at 50 when I got a new PCP, and they did a brain scan as part of their normal intake baseline; all patients get one. Doc came in with my results and said, âWowâŠumâŠso your info processing/working memory is so low itâs 50 points off even the lowest value of the normal graph. Your attention/vigilance is right on the edge of the lowest.â I asked what that meant, and she said basically, âYour mind is relentlessly churning through advanced Calculus levels of brain activity but youâre so scatter-brained you only are aware of 2+2=4.â
Welp, that explained a lot. Would have been good to know 30 years ago though.
House_Junkie@reddit
In the late 80âs it was my mother smacking me for not sitting still or moving too much when we were standing in line. I was diagnosed with ADHD 19 years ago and that medication changed my life.
FutureMany4938@reddit
Read all the books for pleasure the first week of school, turned in nothing all year long, ace all tests, eventually get a ged, now an as, bs and soon an ms. But didn't do school right until after diagnosis. I usually tell people so they'll at least understand why I'm weird. I don't understand being ashamed of how I was born.
Bunny_eyed_Nazitwat@reddit
Strongly suspect AuDHD for both my brother and myself. I'm nearing 58 and no longer trying to get any diagnosis. Got shut down on the autism diagnosis at age 53 by a medical professional because "I'm doing so well in life and that diagnosis is more for people who can't talk and need services in school." đ Oh and she didn't want me to have a label like that. Ok, I guess being labeled dumb, lazy, stubborn, oversensitive, picky, a sandwich shy of a picnic are so much better labels!!
JoshInWv@reddit
Teachers used to paddle me because it was extremely difficult to control. I wasn't diagnosed until later in life either, but no, I don't wear it as a badge on my sleeve like the younger people. I like my privacy, and I really feel like the oversharing leads to other bullshit.
No one needs to know this info except the Dr, my fam, and IF it becomes an issue, my employer. This share everything with everyone is just nonsense to me. We come from a period of time when we had a right to privacy. I like to keep it that way.
CatsEatGrass@reddit
I was diagnosed in my late 30s. It explains so much. But being undiagnosed did force me to work around it, to my benefit.
recycledcoder@reddit
Yea, ADD and Aspie, diagnosed age 42. It made sense of so much.
Also ADD meds made for an enormous improvement in my quality of life.
Taodragons@reddit
lol yep. Diagnosed in my 30's, surprising no one but me.
exscapegoat@reddit
Diagnosed in my 40s no treatmentâtil 58 because of insurance. 59
Got shoul pay attention and focus more on many report cards. Masked and compensated so well my therapist and psychiatrist I see for trauma related anxiety were like you canât have adhd you were in the honors and gifted kids classes and graduated college and have 2 grad school degrees
numberjhonny5ive@reddit
My mom last year, âyeah, you had one teacher in 2nd grade who thought you may have adhd.â Never diagnosed, only realized it during pandemic when I had many days of clear, quiet, focus.
Genbu7@reddit
Since people started talking about it more a decade ago I was like wtf that's pretty much what I am, so I went and was diagnosed at 48. I am pretty sure I am somewhat autistic too. Just pretend I'm living a normal life.
Forest_of_Cheem@reddit
Iâm 46 female. I was considered gifted as a child and very high masking until I wasnât. I got diagnosed in my early thirties. I never even considered it because I didnât for the stereotype of a hyperactive boy. I am also positive that I have autism too, but I havenât gone for proper diagnosis. Right now Iâm focusing on other health issues such as keeping my iih under control so I donât lose my eyesight, getting my chronic migraines more tolerable, and getting a diagnosis and treatment for my suspected autoimmune condition. So many things in my generation have gone undiagnosed and untreated because our parents, teachers, religious leaders, etc, told us it was normal to be in pain all the time. We were told to rub some dirt on it, to suck it up, to deal with it. Iâm finally deprogramming myself and seeing the doctor.
floppy_breasteses@reddit
Some things ADHD sufferers deal with just need to be accommodated. Not special treatment, exactly, but when my wife wants to talk she knows I need to turn off the TV or tablet first because I can't handle competing sounds like that. But, yes, I generally agree. I was diagnosed in my late 30s and managed to fake it very well up to that point. I don't need to be treated like it's a handicap. Just be patient with me from time to time.
I firmly believe that lowering expectations significantly will disincline someone to perform, and just live up to low expectations.
Govinda74@reddit
It did really suck being the last of the "suck it up wuss and pay attention!!" generation of youth mental health care. I was watching kids a year or two behind me with arguably less "stuff" than I was dealing with, but they had parents and doctors listening to them AND getting medication for it.
Mercury5979@reddit
I have a theory, based on only my own observation and experience, that we were the last generation which went undiagnosed or was more often misdisagnosed. ADHD, Autism (by its current definition), and any other of the more common nuerodivergent types. For centuries, people were either normal, or not normal. I think over the past 25 years, we've seen a recognition of how many types of people, and how diverse we are in how we process things and learn. I would actually go so far as to say there is no such thing as nuerodivergent because there is no true baseline to diverge from.
To me, it was like that shape game you give a toddler. Put the square in the square, circle in circle, etc. When we were in school, there were about 4 shapes, and if you didn't fit in those 4 options, they shoved you in anyway. I think we're slowly realizing there are millions of different shapes.
Honestly, I'm not a fan of labels and diagnosis in general. We're just all so fucking different. No two are the same. Not that I am arguing against an ADHD diagnosis. My point is more high level. We all have ways of learning and processing the world around us. There is no single system that will suit that.
In Gen X, there was still the normal classroom, or the mobile unit for the slow kids. Thank god we've gotten passed that.
CyndiIsOnReddit@reddit
It's autism too.
And they need to learn about it too because even now, half the people I know still think autism is little sad boys staring at their hands and mumbling numbers. When I was diagnosed at 47 I got two reactions. One was "not surprising really no offense" to "you can't be autistic because my friend's aunt's co-worker's babymama has a child suffering from autism and he eats his own poop. You don't do that!"
A few years later that same friend, after learning more about autism, got herself assessed too. She was diagnosed with ADHD.
commandantskip@reddit
I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1987, but no one told me because of the stigma. I wish I had known, because I would have been eligible for accommodations. I have also recently been diagnosed with autism this past summer, at 45. Because you know, in the 80s, girls didn't have autism.
heatherm70@reddit
I've never been diagnosed per se but my son was as a child. My bestie works in education and likes to remind me that this is a heriditary condition. I certainly show enough traits of it but as I've been getting by without a diagnoses or treatment so far, I guess I'll just keep on keeping on and all that. I know I can certainly relate to what I see on Reddit about it, that's for sure.
MonitorOfChaos@reddit
Nah. I donât think so. I feel embarrassed to even admit Iâm sick and need help I canât imagine seeking out a reason to be seen as needing help.
ccandy73@reddit
I'm 51 and was unofficially diagnosed about 15 years ago. My employer had a behavioral doctor on staff who I was friendly with and spoke with often. I went to him for information about my autistic son and he let me know that I had ADD. I laughed and mentioned how it was so popular now and he said no, then proceeded to list off symptoms, pretty much all of which I was guilty of. Still not completely sure if that's true or if all those unfinished projects and short lived ideas were just me being lazy.
scarletOwilde@reddit
I agree. Especially as a woman. Schools had no clue back then.
Salbotehcow@reddit
ADD/ADHD here. Currently 49, was diagnosed at 10. First in my school at the time.
Separate-Project9167@reddit
I got in trouble a lot in grade school for wiggling in my seat and not watching the teacher when she talked (eye contact). I had great grades, and I wasnât disrupting the class. I justâŠ. wasnât sitting like a perfect statue and staring at the teacher. Being an undx ADHD girl in the 80s was wild.
Wetschera@reddit
I sat next to a guy in spelling class who was diagnosed. He was in 7th grade. I was in 8th.
He has a degree. Iâm homeless.
I was made to be homeless on purpose and I still canât get help.
I didnât hate people before about 2015 and this shit is still going on. I really fucking hate the people of Wisconsin.
CynfullyDelicious@reddit
57 and about to be tested both for it and ASD. My sister has been saying for years that I display textbook symptoms of both, but Iâve refused to even acknowledge the idea even though many aspects of my life have been a trainwreck, which also fall into the symptoms.
I also have a mother who is an OTT type-A and a perfectionist who criticises anything and everything that doesnât meet her exacting expectations and opinions.
Put those two together, and itâs no surprise whatsoever that Iâm such a mess.
Twister_Robotics@reddit
I got the diagnosis when I dropped out of college at 20.
Been on Wellbutrin for the past 25 years.
Jeannette311@reddit
Diagnosed last year at age 45.
Humble-Membership-28@reddit
Yeah, there was almost no awareness of it. I was working with kids in the mid 90s when I saw diagnosis rates explode, but we were already grown up by then.
sixtyfoursqrs@reddit
Diagnosed as Hyper-Active back in the 70s. Unmedicated my entire life (60) I dare say most people would never guess and theyâd just say Iâm scatter-brained and fidgety.
SpecificJunket8083@reddit
Iâm ADHD and couldnât care less who knows. I never hide anything.
thatsplatgal@reddit
Honestly, so many Americans have it that itâs not really viewed as a limitation anymore. Traumatic childhoods, emotionally immature parents, forced independence, high anxiety, social media, are a common threads for people with adhd.
Iforgotmypwrd@reddit
And constant dopamine hits from phones
TheFirst10000@reddit
I was diagnosed as... something by my school's Child Study Team and put in remedial classes. I know they wanted to put me on ritalin even though I was by no means hyperactive, but my mother pushed back on that. This was shortly before ADD was even in the DSM, I think, much less ADHD. So I've pretty much been raw-dogging it. I am 99% sure I have it, because A: I have all the signs and symptoms, and B: I know there's a genetic component to it and my father was diagnosed late in life.
So, yeah, like a lot of you I just heard a lot that I'd do better if I'd just apply myself, or that I was lazy, or had my head in the clouds. Gee, thanks, fuckers. And I'm not even sure I'd try to get medicated for it at this point, because all they do is treat you like a criminal for trying to fill your prescription if you can even get the meds in the first place.
reasonarebel@reddit
Oh, definitely. The frustrating thing is that apparently my mom knew I had Au/dhd my whole childhood and believed that she could discipline me out of it. She didn't want me to know because she thought it would make me lazy and dependent on assistance.
I didn't find out until I was diagnosed (again) in my mid-thirties and everyone was like, "oh yeah, we knew that. Is it still an issue?" headdesk
rwphx2016@reddit
Oh, hell yes! I was diagnosed at 58. Although my psych didn't call it "High Masking Type," I do mask it. Takes all the energy I have, sometimes.
Had ADHD been a "thing" when I was in elementary/high school my parents would definitely have accepted treatment for me. Alas, it wasn't and here I am.
I have told my employer but haven't requested an accommodation because I don't know of one that could be made. Like the OP said, masking is my accommodation. Now, if I was assigned to a client that didn't respect the need for lunch breaks and breaks in general, then I'd ask for an accommodation. (OK, I guess a lunch break and ability to take breaks IS an accommodation) As a consultant, my clients pay for me on an hourly basis, so if they want to pay triple time for me to skip lunch, that's fine by me, but their finance department would probably have a few words to say about that.
Chade_X@reddit
Agreed. Not to mention that there are a lot of us whose parents would have never accepted it. âOh youâre having trouble paying attention and staying focused??? You think youâre special!?!?!? Shut up and get it together!!!!!â
smallfat_comeback@reddit
Diagnosed at 38 after a lifetime of underperforming for my supposed intelligence, now 58, I will tell anyone. Glad to have medication and a reason for my problems. đ
JumpyRaccoon4327@reddit
I didnât realize I had ADD until my doctor put me on a weight loss regimen including a mild stimulant around age 45. I lost weight which was great, but my clarity of thought and mood were the greatest benefit. When I mentioned it to him, he replied I might have a touch of ADD. After researching I realized that was the case. After my grandson was diagnosed on the spectrum and I heard the symptoms and indicators I researched and realized, then tested on the spectrum. Iâve âmaskedâ or just figured out ways to work around most of my awkwardness most of my life, so didnât feel the need to do anything more. Just feel sorry for the folks who had to deal with me as an adolescent and teenager. It couldnât have been easy. Looking back I understand the grace that was granted me by many!
Iforgotmypwrd@reddit
A therapist told me I probably had adhd when I was around 28, she told me to drink coffee.
10 years later I started trying meds. To this day I donât talk about it either anyone but my partner. Iâm aware of it, take adderall to finish projects, but donât let it define me.
It certainly has debilitated me at times however. And itâs worse now than ever. Iâm 55
alsatian01@reddit
I was born in '74. There were a bunch of kids that I knew in school who were diagnosed as ADD (b4 it was changed to ADHD). I was diagnosed with dyslexia, but I think it was a pretty minor case, and any symptoms of ADD/ADHD were chalked up to that.
After I got out of the Army, I went to college. After two universities and 6 years, I had not graduated. My mother was having a dinner party and the subject of my long tenure in college came. One of my mom's friends said, "You clearly have ADHD." She asked why I was in school for so long. I told her how I would just keep taking classes and move from subject to subject. I couldn't stay focused on one subject. She said that was very common amongst ppl who have undiagnosed ADHD.
I was never a hyperactive kid, and I think that is why it went noticed. ADD/ADHD was definitely known about when some of us were kids, but I don't think atypical presentation was not. So, in my mid-20s, I was diagnosed and finally graduated.
n00dl3s54@reddit
PTSD And ADHD. Both undiagnosed but I figured it out about ten years back. Itâs my greatest strength and largest weakness..
sewedthroughmyfinger@reddit
Autistic, complex PTSD and regular PTSD after nearly dying. Diagnosed in me late 40s after I burned out so bad I didn't want to live anymore.
At least I can start making sense of my life in that context and realize I wasn't an abject failure and unlovable freak...I just had different needs. Diagnosis has been healing.
Affectionate_Pen_439@reddit
I finally went to see a therapist at age 49 for what I just always called depression and thought it was worsened after both my parents died. I would talk with him about my coping behaviors like doing math problems all day and night avoiding errands and daily life. Not able to fall asleep easily and he diagnosed me with OCD. I told my sister who is 6 years older than me and she said â it all makes sense nowâ referring to my childhood behavior she witnessed. I did get on a medication after some reluctance and adjusting the dose it has helped a lot
lazygerm@reddit
I was diagnosed with hyperactivity (ADD/ADHD) in the early 1970s.
I was put on Ritalin by the time I was five. I got taken off after about a year or so because my mother did not like the way it made me.
When I was 30 I got tested for ADHD and I scored negatively on it.
Personally, I have a son who autism. I think I am on the spectrum. I see so much of myself in him. Except he has some for shit video game 5 or 10 X multiplier.
My life makes a lot more sense the more I get to know how spectrum disorders manifest themselves.
OtterPeePools@reddit
Just turned 57 and I was diagnosed with ADHD, among other things, about 3 years ago. I mentioned it to friends on Facebook, but I've been unemployed for years now and would not bring it up in an interview for sure. But yeah, my younger friends seem to be more casual about it for sure. And the internet in general the last few years seems to have that " it's normal, no biggie" attitude perhaps.
kckitty71@reddit
Diagnosed AuDHD last year at 52. I also have sensory processing disorder and Complex PTSD. Iâm fucked up but now I know why I am the way I am.
OtterPeePools@reddit
That PTSD mixed in can't be fun, but sounds like you have a good attitude about it at least.
dangerous_skirt65@reddit
I'm a very late diagnosed ASD and it drives me insane how the younger people just act like they can't possibly function with ASD and/or ADHD. My question is always, "Who's putting a roof over your head and food in your belly??? If you're relying on someone else to provide those things while you lie around and say you can't possibly cope, there's a big issue there."
I had NO choice. None. I was this kid that didn't speak to anyone, couldn't stand loud places, was anxious and overwhelmed most of the time, had no friends, and nobody understood me, but I had to survive because no one was going to do it for me. You'd be surprised what you can accomplish when you have no other options.
Taco_El_Paco@reddit
I just think that everyone is on the spectrum, somewhere. Some people just need a diagnosis to help them resolve their behaviour
ted_anderson@reddit
There's a famous choreographer by the name of Jillian Lyn who worked on projects like Cats and Phantom of the Opera. Her mother took her to the doctor because she had problems with sitting still. The doctor examined her and then turned on the radio and walked out of the room with her mother. They watched her through the window and that's when the doctor said "She's not sick. She's a DANCER." and then once she was put into dance class, she noticed that all of the girls were just like her. People who move and respond to music and sounds and other forms of stimuli.
And I share that to say that a lot of us, both today and yesterday don't just have undiagnosed conditions but we have undiagnosed GIFTS. I think that society works so hard to make us assimilate into the social and cultural norms that we confuse behavioral problems with extraordinary abilities.
Like that kid who got his ass beat regularly for throwing balled up paper into his mother's favorite vase might have been the next NBA star. Or the kid in 3rd grade who kept going to detention for singing TV commercials during math class might have been another Frank Sinatra.
So I wonder if these undiagnosed conditions or the ones found later in life are just untapped abilities that we haven't found a use for. Today I get paid very well from all of the knowledge that I learned from taking stuff apart as a child. My friends and family think that my parents should have beat me more to stop me from doing that. But I guess that my parents being former hippies explains all of the times that I got away with stuff that I shouldn't have.
Bl8kStrr@reddit
I was diagnosed with ADD at 33 then after years of medication and personal misery I was cured as soon as I went back to the gym exercising and eating better.
MidWstIsBst@reddit
Diagnosed at 40 because I was failing my first year of an MBA program. Once I understood the condition, I completely changed the way I studied and approached school. I also started medication. The second year of the MBA program was mostly Aâs.
I have no reservations about mentioning it at work because Iâve been very successful despite ADHD â or maybe even BECAUSE of ADHD in some cases. Itâs simply different wiring â not a disabilityâ and, accordingly, leads to different strengths and weaknesses. Getting the diagnosis helped me figure out how to mitigate the weaknesses and emphasize the strengths.
digawina@reddit
I'm 52 and was just diagnosed. It explains so much about me!! I have a young son who was diagnosed first and I'm the opposite, I'm very open about it. I want to normalize it for him and not make him feel like there's any stigma to it. Frankly, the more I hear what is/is not an AHDH "trait," the more I think most people are ADHD in some form and it's the ones who don't have it who are the minority and they somehow went ahead and designed the world for themselves.
I would have zero problem if work knew. IMHO, hiding it is further stigmatizing it. It's just a different way your brain works. And, frankly, if my work wanted to offer an accommodation like, say, working form home again, then that would be amazing (they won't). No one I've ever told has not treated me different in any way. It's super common.
Lanky-Owl6622@reddit
I was Dx ADHD in my 30's. Dx with anxiety, C-PTSD, and MDD in my 40's. Can't wait to see what Dx my 50's brings đ
JacqueGonzales@reddit
I figured out I had ADHD slowly as the internet took off back in the 90âs. Of course, it became my hyper-fixation! đ
When I asked doctors about it - they all said I wasnât âhyperâ or how it was mostly just in boys.
It wasnât until my late 30âs that I found someone who took me seriously - and sure enough - I was diagnosed having ADHD.
Between a lack of knowledge, parents/doctors pigeonholing the ADHD diagnosis strictly to young boys who were bouncing off the walls, and limited medication options - YEP, we were off the radar!
I also have a strong feeling that Autism was greatly undiagnosed for Gen X as well.
2Dogs3Tents@reddit
I was diagnosed as a kid in the mid 1970's. Back then it was just called Hyperactive. I was able to function fairly normally through about age 48. Then, I kinda got the ADHD burn out from the constant masking in a high pressure career. I've found the biggest problem with it in later life is lack of motivation. I used to be crazy motivated, like a bundle of energy for everything in life. Now i prefer peace and quiet and not getting involved with too many people. It's also been hard to manage the ADHD in relationships as i've gotten older.
Peregrine_Falcon@reddit
Yeah, ADHD wasn't even a term back in the 70s when I was diagnosed either. And it wasn't just cause I couldn't sit still, at that age I was ridiculously hyper and couldn't focus on anything.
My parents took me off of the medication after about a week because it turned me into a zombie. After that I was just told that I'd have to learn to control it.
I learned to hide it, but it takes effort. When I get home I'm exhausted from controlling myself. At home I turn "work mode" off and I am a completely different person.
Glass-Nectarine-3282@reddit
I fundamentally disagree with the premise of the argument.
I think we were the last generation that was - correctly - not "diagnosed" with what is basically human behavior. Of course we had a version of ADHD, but it's not a "thing," it's just how people are. If you have too much going on, it's hard to focus. So have less going on, and focus will be better. That's not "ADHD," it's being a person surrounded by stimuli.
So I didn't think I had a "condition" before, and I don't think I have one now, and no offense, I don't think you do either. I think doctors too often have a hammer and they look for a nail.
Man-e-questions@reddit
But , butâŠhow can big pharma sell you something then?
Delicious_Bus3644@reddit
Iâm raising a Gen Alpha, the number of kids that are on this medication is astronomical.
Glass-Nectarine-3282@reddit
Yeah, see it makes me sound like an anti-vax nut, but I don't agree with that.
But you can't prove a negative either - I was a horrible, moody, bratty malcontent teenager and maybe I should have been on meds that whole time. So maybe I'm the asshole.
thatguygreg@reddit
I got diagnosed at 43 myself, after seeing an ADHD comic on Twitter that was altogether all too relatable.
I don't keep it a secret publicly, though I do run an ADHD feed on Bluesky to help me find my own people. I do mention it at work, but only once I know what my manager, their manager, my team, etc. are all about first.
gamblinonme@reddit
I was diagnosed in my mid 40s but didnât like the way meds made me feel, seemed like it dulled my personality. I also have come to enjoy my impulsivity and accepted disorganization and issues with time are just who I am. I do share these with employers that they are not my strengths. I do not want to take meds to âfit inâ.
HHSquad@reddit
Generation Jones is the king of that.
But GenX is up there also.
Both-Honeydew-7801@reddit
Diagnosed in my 20âs. Not a surprise given that in elementary school teachers would put up a cardboard partition around my desk to keep me from talking to classmatesâŠ.
sugarlump858@reddit
I am convinced I'm autistic and ADHD. I checked into getting officially diagnosed. No one in my area tests adults except this one organization, and it's $1600. I can do it, but what difference would it make now. At best, I can let my company know, just in case it protects me somehow. We'll see.
Even if they were testing for this when I was growing up, my parents would never have agreed to do it.
Adventurous-Craft865@reddit
I recently got diagnosed in my late 40s and I feel like I got screwed in life, big time.
JoeBStoked@reddit
I remember when my sister got diagnosed and CPS got involved, because the feeling back then was that this type of thing came from parental abuse.
I fall right in line with a lot of ASD and ADD traits, but I still havenât gotten the official diagnosis yet, part of that experience and lack of trust for being on a list I guess.