What European societies are more willing to do small talk and also share their culture with you?

Posted by Educational-Tip-4430@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 53 comments

It seems that when I ask a Slovak about something Slovak, like music, food, places, whatever they're always so glad and happy to share their culture with me. They're genuinely glad a foreigner is showing interest in their small but interesting society and culture.

On the train from Bratislava to Prague a Slovak started telling me his life story and about customs in his small town. I can't imagine a German, Austrian or even most Czechs doing this. BTW Yes, I recommend Slovakia for expats. It might ruin most other Central and Northern European countries for you, except maybe Ireland and Scotland. :)

The most ironic thing was that most Northern Italians and even some Romans I've met have been less welcoming and willing to share their culture like Slovaks. Only Southern Italians seemed glad to share their culture. With Greeks it seems only in some islands people are likely to share their culture, Athens and Thessaloniki people are very open with their culture and willing to share it but only online. In real life only the service workers are really open. No one on a Greek train or in Athens or Thessaloniki would be engaging with a foreigner and being as open as that Slovak guy. It's just ushers trying to attract me to their business. In a Bratislava public transport bus a lady and and old man (unrelated) asked me where I am from, etc. We had some small talk. That has never happened to me in Athens, despite it being in the supposedly friendly Med region. Maybe it's a mix of both willing to talk to strangers & willing to share your culture with them. That's a really rare mix but it makes a country all the more welcoming to expats. I've had more random strangers strike up convos with me in Bratislava than all the other capitals in Europe I've been to so far. I've had small talk in London but only with taxi drivers, not with fellow passengers like that.

Do you find some cultures are just more glad when a foreigners shows interest in them? Is there a study on that so I can find more countries like Slovakia, and supposedly (I haven't been there) Ireland and Scotland and avoid the ones that are more closed off to both small talk and sharing their culture?

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bortukali@reddit

Southern, some Balkans, Ireland and Austria I guess

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Titariene@reddit

Austria ? Most definitely not and the women are less friendly than the men. And I am the type who has more in common with my fellow women so it was a bit of a surprise .My friend who lived there for over 30 years also said so .

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bortukali@reddit

Thank you for your insight

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CuriosTiger@reddit

A few generalizations. As with any generalization, there are exceptions to this and they don't hold true in every case:

Your odds are better going south. You'll find far more of this in Spain or Italy or France than you will in Germany or the Netherlands or Scandinavia. I haven't been to Greece, so I cannot comment on that country.

Your odds are better in the countryside. Small towns or rural areas -- but specifically small towns and rural areas that AREN'T tourist traps and DON'T get overrun with tourists -- give you much higher odds than big cities.

One specific experience I've had was that Prague was not very welcoming, whereas Bratislava was very welcoming. Before my trip, I thought of Czechs and Slovaks as one culture, so I found this difference striking. But I think overtourism in Prague, even back then, may have been a factor. But regardless of the reason, I love Bratislava and enjoy going back there specifically because of how friendly and welcoming the locals were to me.

Two more honorable mentions for hospitality: Scotland and Iceland. In Scotland, people were very open, friendly and engaging. Much more so than in England, and this was true even in "major" (for Scotland) cities like Edinburgh and Aberdeen. Likewise Iceland, where people somehow managed both to respect my privacy and strike up a conversation whenever I wanted one -- at the same time.

Finally, there's a distinction between a tourist and an expat. I lived in Vienna for four years, and living there was very different from the romanticized tourist experience.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

I think I will check out Scotland, Ireland (both of them), and Southern Europe I'd check out Spain and Gibraltar or Malta. I'll mass apply for jobs in all and go where I get the job. Also: Serbia and again Slovakia. Their languages are easy for me to pick up.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

"One specific experience I've had was that Prague was not very welcoming, whereas Bratislava was very welcoming." Same. They weren't very welcoming in the work place either to be fair.

I had to live in Prague and those 5 months were lonely, a year there would drive me mad, there's more to life than beautiful architecture! 1 year in Bratislava. The place is drab, some parts even ugly. But it has a humanity in it you can't find in Prague. I still love Czech cities more on photos and Street View, they're just more beautiful. However as people Slovaks are the friendlier bunch. It's the friendliest/most welcoming country I've been to so far.

Thanks about mentioning Scotland, most fellow Bulgarians also say people there are much much nicer than the English. Iceland also sounds like a very balanced and welcoming place. Maybe one day I'll get the chance to visit them.

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CuriosTiger@reddit

Well, I'm originally from Norway, so I cannot really give a true foreigner's perspective on that country, or really any of Scandinavia. But I wouldn't say any of Scandinavia is rude or aggressive. Uptight, perhaps, although distant may be a better word. Inside of Scandinavia, I'd probably argue Denmark is the most welcoming to tourists, whereas Sweden has the most lenient immigration policies for expats.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Thanks / takk!

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EveningInfinity@reddit

I'd plus one that about Denmark among the nordics probably. I think naturally people in all 3 countries are a bit standoffish -- not so likely to initiate interactions with strangers around them. I think it's a bit of a cultural script: there are memes about how neighbors in apartment buildings do their best to avoid each other because they hate small chat so much. But when I initiated chats, I found everyone was very nice.

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x236k@reddit

Czechs and Slovaks are very different. The mindset closest to Czechs have probably Bavarians or Austrians.

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EveningInfinity@reddit

I +1 all of this. What was living in Vienna like? I found Viennese people identified as being very rude, but I found them very nice. Still, I wouldn't guess it's the easiest place to break into and make lots of friends -- not least because the whole city seems to be asleep by 8pm.

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PhereNicae@reddit

Southern Italy - but they are so conservative about all of their traditions that they get really mad if you do it differently :D Mostly in a good playful way though

NOT Poland - they dont tend to be happy you are interested in their culture or you want to stay there, they dont even recognize that you are speaking their language

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Wow I though Poland must be like Slovakia. Good thing I didn't go there. :)

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PhereNicae@reddit

they are still great people, just really reserved...I couldnt even find a workshop for foreigners about Polish culture :D I was willing to pay for it

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Thor-Marvel@reddit

Ireland

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Emily_Postal@reddit

Absolutely Ireland.

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Apprehensive_Lie357@reddit

Spain for sure, provided you can speak Spanish as most people don’t speak English.

Also literally it felt like something was going on outside every day. There’s always some celebration going on, for what idk, but it’s fun to see.

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CuriosTiger@reddit

The language barrier doesn't seem to stop the Spaniards. I spoke very little Spanish when I visited, really just basic phrases. But people were still friendly and approachable, and what we couldn't figure out with our disparate languages we figured out by pointing and miming. Literally.

I have since learned Spanish to a conversational level, so I can only imagine what it will be like to go back now.

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cachitodepepe@reddit

Joer

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EveningInfinity@reddit

I think it also depends on where in Spain... Barcelona, I think no. They don't even like Spanish speakers. I didn't get sprayed with any water while I was there, but I did feel people were annoyed with me for existing as a non-local and happy to show it.

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SeanBourne@reddit

They don't even like Spanish speakers

Catalans doing catalan things…

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

I can speak some but I can understand very well. Don't know if that will be enough. I think I'll go on a vacation there next, thanks!

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EveningInfinity@reddit

Slovenia! (Maybe there's something about countries starting with "Slov..."?) Normally my interest in talking with people is pretty inexhaustible. Slovenia is the only place I've been so far where people would talk to me for so long, I'd eventually have to be like, "Okay, this was great, but talking with you isn't the only thing I ever need to do for the rest of my life." And this happened to me at least four times.

I wasn't quite sure how to interpret it, but I was a little tempted to think it's related to living in such a nice, peaceful, pretty, overall well-functioning country: you get a little bored.

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theblockening@reddit

My partner is Slovenian and can confirm - they love a chat, very friendly people!

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HERCULESxMULLIGAN@reddit

Does a large portion of the population in Slovenia speak English or do you speak Slovene?

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Shooppow@reddit

Spain and Italy. Possibly also Greece.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

I will probably visit Spain, soon. As for Greece, maybe their small towns and mostly the islands. I felt so lonely in Athens and Thessaloniki, no one (local) has ever engaged in a small talk with me there.

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emma279@reddit

Athens was friendly to me but Im in NYC so probably biased.

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zazabizarre@reddit

Why would people going about their lives in a capital city want to make small talk with a stranger?

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Shooppow@reddit

I only included Greece because the Greek people I know are very outgoing and friendly, always wanting to share pieces of their culture. I assume that they are “normal” by Greek standards.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Are those people located abroad, I mean out of Greece? I think some nations are more like that abroad than back home if that makes sense.

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Shooppow@reddit

Maybe that’s it. I don’t know. I just naïvely assumed all Greek people are like them.

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CuriosTiger@reddit

I have never been to Greece, but I suspect the language barrier has a lot to do with this.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Not just this. I didn't get the gregarious Greek stereotype behavior where they come to you and start talking. Travel blogs even swear (lie?) they take you home to meet their family for dinner and stuff like that. The fact is no one in public transport or the streets even looks at others much there. In Bratislava usually as well and yet I had a convo with the two strangers right in the trolleybus. I guess it's Athens being quite big. People in cities of 1 million and above seem to be less open to conversations or really any interactions between strangers. Maybe in Sofia at least you'll get a glance or two. Or even more. Same in Thessaloniki. In Athens I rarely got even one glance but then Sofia is 1,5 m and Athens like 4 m. No wonder everyone's just a stranger in the crowd in Athens. London and Paris were the same way. No time for small talk or even glancing at people because you're in a rush in the vast, wide city.

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Interesting-Tackle74@reddit

Athens is a big city. You cant expect that from a city and def not from a capital.

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futurus196@reddit

I've found Italians love to talk about their culture.

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Europeaninoz@reddit

I found if you speak local language, people will happily chat and share things with you. This sub is very anti German speaking countries. I’m fluent in German and have always had great experiences when visiting Germany and Austria (have had only fleeting visit to Switzerland, so can’t comment).

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Roger-Dodger33@reddit

Serbia and Albania are both similar to what you mentioned, very friendly and open people.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Thanks, I've been considering Belgrade for my next relocation and Albania for my next beach vacation so good to hear. :)

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Professional_Elk_489@reddit

People around the Med

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throwawayyqweqwe@reddit

I don’t know what you’re talking about because I’m an expat in Bratislava for a few years now and this is not true lol. On top of that the bureaucracy for foreigners applying/renewing for residency (work, studies, business) is such a HUGE struggle in the past few months. And I’m not even exaggerating. This consumes most mental energy of the foreigners over here in Slovakia in general. You can verify/cross check online. Slovakia has one of the worst treatments towards foreigners here. I don’t know if you’re a resident, or a tourist- but Slovakia is most definitely not a place for expats.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Not true for you personally, yeah, but each of us has different experience at different places. Still I can vouch one's more likely to be approached for small talk in Bratislava than in Sofia. In Sofia mostly beggars approach to talk to you.

The bureaucracy in SK is bad indeed, but not so bad for EU citizens, it wasn't that bad for me, aside from having to be very early in them morning to stay at the crowd for registering at the local immigrant's office. That's bad but expected from a tiny country that has history of being exploited by its more powerful neighbors.

I was an expat there, lived for about a year.

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EveningInfinity@reddit

For a very, very unexpected one, I actually want to make a case for Germany. Not for "small talk" of course. And not for the *ease* with which it pours forth. (Although that seems to vary some by region -- people from Cologne I find are often way more chatty.). But if you persist, and learn that their flat affect doesn't mean they hate you, I find that they can TALK. I feel like they often have a lot of well structured thoughts about life inside of them, and they can go quite deep if you ask.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Which part of the country? Dresden, Munich seemed aloof and standoffish. Actually someone was openly rude and hostile for no reason at all in my very first 10 minutes there. I promptly left after a few minutes later and cancelled all my plans for Oktoberfest and from that point I only used Munich Hbf for going to Salzburg and back to Augsburg. Augsburg was slightly better than Munich, at least no one there was openly rude.

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EveningInfinity@reddit

I agree Munich is way more standoffish. (In my experience Berlin people are even worse, because they have to like dress all in black and be to cool to talk to you.)

And especially if you're an American, I definitely see how Germans can read as "rude". They won't walk up and chat with each other about pleasant things, but if someone is doing something they find annoying, they will be VERY open in letting them know directly and without hesitation. (I don't think that's rude in German culture though?) In the US, people would never do that. If it's not against the law, it's like a right for anyone to be as obnoxious as they want to be. And if it is against the law, you'll probably call the cops. Too much risk of being shot if you confront someone.

That said I include people from Munich AND Dresden among the ones I've had great conversations with. They don't seem friendly or spill out right away like an open book, but if you just keep talking with them, you can go real deep.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Shouting at people is rude even in Germany I think. I've been shouted at only in 3 cities so far: Munich, Veliko Tarnovo and Bucharest. I mean yes, in my birth city of Sofia as well but I've been the most here. I mean as a tourist I've been shouted at only those 3. Guess which 3 cities I'll never visit again! :D

Money and time are tight so there are so many places I'd rather visit than go back to a place I was shouted at.

Some list of countries just in/around Europe I've never been to: Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Italy, Turkey, Serbia, Croatia, Slovenia, Albania, Montenegro, Bosnia, N. Macedonia, Moldova, Poland, Spain, Portugal, Gibraltar, Malta, San Marino, Andorra, Monaco, France outside Paris, Eastern Slovakia/Kosice, Switzerland, Iceland, Finland, Cyprus, the Baltic States, Ukraine, Belarus, Russia. Might be forgetting some.

Loads of places, many of which might be more welcoming!

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EveningInfinity@reddit

Also I have a theory for your Athens thing: in places that are heavily touristed, I think locals build up a lot of calluses and prejudices against foreigners -- who they assume are tourists. Tourists are such a well worn, and well established category, that they're used to dealing with all the time, that they have a hard time breaking through that and caring about you as a person or treating you like they would anyone else. They develop their own cultural inoculation against the tourist -- and keep them aside from their real lives, so that they can try to preserve a real culture amidst all the fake stuff for tourists.

Go somewhere with fewer tourists, and people haven't learned that you should treat a tourist totally different from anyone else. Or it's a fresher encounter that's more interesting to them.

There's still variety among the touristy places about how friendly they are toward you. (E.g. Southern Spain they're way nicer and more willing to engage with you than Barcelona.). But in general -- the less touristy the place, the more willing they are to treat you like just another person.

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Educational-Tip-4430@reddit (OP)

Could be true. Prague felt way more standoffish than Bratislava. The only cities I've had openly hostile locals act rude/aggressive to me are two very touristy cities: Munich (during Oktoberfest) and Veliko Tarnovo.

And the third isn't that touristy but the staff were quite ruff and kind of rude: Bucharest :(

I'm not visiting Munich, Bucharest, or Veliko Turnovo any time soon because I'd rather spend money in places where I don't get shouted at rudely. :)

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EveningInfinity@reddit

Oh yes -- Bulgaria is like next level. I sort of loved it.

Germany, I think they're just incredibly direct and feel that it's a good thing to tell you about anything you're doing wrong or that annoys them. For a US person that reads as hostile and rude. And I guess it kind of is hostile a lot of the time, but I still somehow just read it as part of the culture.

Bulgaria, it somehow felt even more than that though... Like they get a small pleasure in letting you know they wouldn't care if you died right there in the street, and would never do a thing to help you. Or at least it was like that quite a few times. And then some other random people would be very nice for no apparent reason. I couldn't quite figure out the contrast. But I really liked Bulgaria and Bulgarians anyway. :)

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