thinking about quitting flying
Posted by Appropriate-Test-48@reddit | flying | View on Reddit | 199 comments
hi, i’m a 19 yo F, who has my PPL check ride in 2 weeks. last sunday was my checkride, but we had to cancel the flying portion due to wind. i did the oral, absolutely dog shitted it. i did so fucking bad and the DPE was just making me feel worse. i had done 2 mock check rides and did well on the last one.
since last sunday i’ve seriously been doubting myself & wondering why i ever got into this in the first place. i think it would be a lot easier for me to quit if i wasn’t a Ray Aviation Scholar … i was given $9,000 to get my license & now i really just want to stop. my whole life i’ve wanted to go to mortuary school and become a funeral director & embalmer, but for some reason i decided i was going to be a pilot. on one hand i want to quit so they can give the rest of my money to someone else who actually wants it, but i also don’t want to quit BECAUSE of all this money they gave me and of how far i’ve already come. i’d feel like the worst person in the world if all that money was just wasted on me.
i’ve got a pretty major anxiety disorder (whatever make fun of me), and it’s been so damn bad recently just thinking about flying and redoing my checkride is making me fucking nauseous & sweaty & feel like i’m about to faint.
i think deep down i always knew aviation wasn’t where i was supposed to end up, but genuinely i don’t know what to do and i’m so damn tired of thinking about it.
ananajakq@reddit
31F here. Been flying for 13 years now, I fly widebody international trips now. Last week I was shopping in Japan. I only work about half the month because I do overseas trips. I bought my own house. And then renovated it. I have all the money i need to do all of the things I want to do. Travel. Shop. Expensive Pilates memberships. Also I have a week off at a time after my flights. All because I stuck it out.
During my initial flight school, I cried SO many times. I fucking hated it. I was one of the only women at my school. The guys weren’t nice to me. One of my instructors told me in a briefing to “go home and do my fucking makeup” because “they were here to learn to fly planes and clearly I wasn’t” Oral exams were the fucking worst. I DREADED them. I also get anxiety. I doubted myself a LOT. Everything you are describing is normal. The only difference between you and the men around you is that socially men are conditioned to never show weakness and never be vulnerable. So while you are sitting there second guessing yourself SO ARE THEY, they would just never say it out loud. In the world of men, they all want to look strong and put together so it can appear that that is the case. But don’t be fooled, everyone gets anxious, everyone gets nervous, and everyone has anxiety sometimes leading up to a big exam.
There have been so many times I have considered quitting. I don’t particularly love airplanes. I don’t particularly love working with crusty old fucking dudes. But you know what I love. Pilates. And days off. And my beautiful house. Ans the trip to Bali I am about to take. And whatever the fuck I want to do with my life. Because I have the freedom and money to do that because of this job that I stuck by. There are very few jobs left like being a pilot that pay well that give you a pension, that are unionized, that have job security. It’s an amazing profession and you deserve to be here like everyone else. You got this!!!!
Ps message me anytime I mentor a dozen women in aviation. This is my passion and I’m here for you ❤️
Ok_Donut_8938@reddit
24F here. You sound like such an inspiration. I read your paragraph way too many times because I relate to it so much. I’m currently doubting myself in the process of getting my PPL because of men. Yeah, you read that right. Would love to chat with you
RedAirRook@reddit
An F/O who hated training, gets anxiety, and doesn’t particularly like airplanes or flying them. You sound like a delight. Is it any wonder instructors and senior Captains are grumpy with you?
ananajakq@reddit
Yea, Believe it or not you can fly a plane and still have other interests, and not have that be your entire personality. Probably why most of you are divorced. Because it’s insufferable to be around someone who literally has no other sense of identity and can’t stop talking about airplanes 😂
Also if more of you were honest about your mental health maybe you wouldn’t be alcoholics too.
Shoddy-Paramedic8491@reddit
I messaged you. Please check PM 🙏🏽
RedAirRook@reddit
My God, what kind of effed-up third-world airline are you working for, full of alcoholics and borderline personality disorders? Or are those traits merely sone amplified negatives you choose to see in the people around you at work, because of your evident bitterness and dissatisfaction with what you do, and how you got there?
ananajakq@reddit
Buddy who hurt you? Reread my post lol the entire thing is about how happy I am. Also my assessment of most pilots is pretty bang on based on the fact that your entire profile is about flying 😂 find like one other thing to be interested in. Seriously try it out it’s great
Fit-Mammoth1359@reddit
No offence but this is why women in aviation get such a bad rep
I’ve flown with many awesome captains who happened to be women and they loved the job just as much as
But there’s definitely plenty who get into aviation just for the lifestyle/money and don’t try to hide it and perpetuating this reputation only validates it
ananajakq@reddit
Oh, so I need your approval to be a pilot now? That’s hilarious. Hate to break it to you, but this job’s not hard. I can do it with my eyes closed. And no, unlike you, I didn’t need to jerk off to flying magazines to make it here. So keep running your mouth about female pilots if that’s what makes you feel important. I’ll keep doing my job and getting paid. 😘
Deocto@reddit
Shit that’s amazing. I don’t fly (yet) and I’m a man, yet I want you to mentor me.
Well said.
joshsafc9395@reddit
Out of all the comments i hope OP reads this one. Good for you.
Ps how much is the pilates? 😂
Rwm90@reddit
“Hey I wanna quit.”
Okay. So quit.
Rilex1@reddit
I don’t understand why people downvoted you. Here’s someone with mo motivation also showing signs of mental disorder. Why are we supposed to cheer them on and encourage them to continue this path? Not everyone is supposed to become a pilot.
Rwm90@reddit
Seriously. Not everyone should have all my hobbies, interests, or career path. Go do something else you enjoy, you’re passionate about, or that gives you the life you want. No hard feelings.
Expensive_Plant_4738@reddit
It just gets harder from here
zealous-wolf@reddit
Well, here I come with the negative Karma.
Looks like you already have it figured out. Aviation is not for everyone. Quite the contrary, it's only for the few. You know what? That's okay. I know nothing of it, but I'm certain being a mortician requires qualities I do not possess. I'm certain I'd flip my rocker. Furthermore, anxiety and aviation don't mix well.
I don't think you're looking at this from the most beneficial perspective. Someone gave you a bunch of money; do not burden yourself with that. You must take care of yourself first. If this is not the path you want, say "thank you," and return what you can. It doesn't make you a quitter, it makes you normal. I've had many students that were pursuing training for someone else, instead of themselves. Most of them went obscenely over time and over budget.
Do what you want to do. Take care of yourself.. It's your trip around the sun. It's also too early to try putting yourself in a box; you're nineteen.
Good Luck. Let us know what you decide.
DecisionSerious9683@reddit
Well said, couldn’t have said it better myself!
Cascadeflyer61@reddit
Nothing to add to this excellent advice!
SemiProFakeCarDriver@reddit
I'm glad not a lot of negative karma went your way, and an addendum: Many people don't know what they want, and enjoy, until they are pretty entrenched in it and take time to really interrogate their feelings outside of events.
It's hard to evaluate now when feeling like crap, especially if some jerk contributed. If anything, this is a wonderful opportunity to learn how to make tough decisions. If you continue your PPL, you can change your mind and be a funeral director -- maybe just a couple years later than you would have otherwise. If you quit, you can get a good start there. No bad options for you, OP!
MontgomeryEagle@reddit
DPEs can be jerks. The best thing to do is find ones that aren't.
Mediocre_Paramedic22@reddit
Seems like you are overwhelmed and a bit burnt out. Take a deep breath, get through the checkride and then take a break. Don’t think about it for a little while. After that you can decide what you want to do.
Choconilla@reddit
Sorry, I hate to be a dick, plenty of good advice for OP’s question; why do kids these days have an aversion to capital letters?
Krysocks@reddit
can't speak for everyone but capital letters feel very formal when many others aren't using them. not sure how it started though
Choconilla@reddit
I’m not old that’s the best part, but that and needlessly starting sentences with “so” just leave me scratching my head sometimes. Kids these days. Now get off my lawn.
Krysocks@reddit
so...
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
😂😂😂 my auto caps are on, I just wrote that on my ipad!
NuttPunch@reddit
He made you feel bad about the Oral yet you passed the oral? Am I reading the right? There is no “doing bad.” Just pass or fail. You passed the oral, you did fine. Relax
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
no, sorry. my dpe made me feel like an idiot the whole time which really worsened my performance last sunday. i did well on my mock oral, though.
give_me_more_monez@reddit
Welcome to aviation, examiners have a special ability sometimes of almost enjoying making you feel like an idiot. It’s a common trait that I’ve grown to deal with in this industry for over 10 years so far. I have no idea, but aviation breeds a special type of asshole sometimes, maybe it’s other industry’s too… it’s just something you have to deal with in this industry (or life in general) sometimes…
tankmode@reddit
every male-dominated technical discipline is like this (software, orthopedics, construction, aviation etc). its not personal, just how those groups set up hierachies and enforce standards
Cascadeflyer61@reddit
I have taken dozens of checkrides, four type rides, and the overwhelming majority of my checks have been positive. If anything a few instructors and LCA’s have been the only less than friendly types. It’s not “ the male trying to dominate”! I’ve had plenty of female instructors and check pilots too. I hear all the DPE horror stories here, where’s the FAA in all of this? I have heard of DPE’s being fired, there needs to be more feedback to the FSDO’s. People with real anxiety should not fly, maybe as a private pilot, as long as it’s not crippling. The standards that people are held to in aviation are built on the knowledge of the consequences of inattention to detail and lack of competence. Anxiety unfortunately is becoming more common, some of it has possible links to social media. I hope she gets a different DPE, and has a better experience next time.
AtrophiedTraining@reddit
Yeah... They're all trying to feel better about themselves by showing off the specific areas they know about. Depending on their personality it's a bonus if they can put someone down at the same time.
That's also why examiner's (DPEs in this case) tend to have a gouge. These are the areas they are especially comfortable with.
Dekker316@reddit
Holy fuck what an insightful comment. Great way to put it.
SemiProFakeCarDriver@reddit
Highly recommend the book Invisible Women if it's a subject interesting to you. It highlights quite a few situations where reinforcing the hierarchy makes everything worse, but the optimistic tone is that now there are studies about how to do better.
Blind auditions in music, removing names from resume screening, etc. It's unfortunate how many people are quick to yell out "DEI hire" against folks who had to work twice as hard, and don't understand how performance and anxiety are linked (Large stakes and big mistakes, a paper by Dan Ariely is good!)... I feel bad for the OP, perhaps with a different DPE would feel completely different.
earthgreen10@reddit
its strange for me, my instructors were so hard on me and made me feel bad. Once the DPE started my checkride oral/flying portions were so easy. I was like, why couldnt my instructors be like my dpe. that being said, glad the instructors were tough on me
moduwave@reddit
Oh yeah, I had the same experience- my simulated checkride was harder than my actual checkride by a long shot and while my instructors weren't mean or impatient, the DPE was so much more generous and responsive than I was led to expect. (Shoutout Bernie Consol for anyone near the Triangle region of NC, he's a fantastic DPE)
Rustyshackilford@reddit
The superiority complexes share a lot in common with IT and cybersecurity professionals
rayven_waterhouse@reddit
I’ve used the same dpe for the past 2 checkrides and he’s heavily implied that I’m not intelligent. Some people just don’t want to see women succeed
KindaJaded@reddit
Don’t use that examiner anymore. They should at least be professional and somewhat encouraging…
NuttPunch@reddit
Did you pass the oral?
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
No. Gotta redo the whole checkride in 2 weeks. Sorry, I wasn’t clear!!!
Clunk500CM@reddit
FWIW: I would cancel the checkride and instead have a mock checkride. Do this with a different CFI so you can identify your deficiencies and fix those before attempting another actual checkride.
iflyaurplane@reddit
You didn't pass the oral, but you also canceled b/c of the wind?
kristephe@reddit
Just wanted to mention it may be worth considering a different DPE if you haven't already if you have to do it all over again. Ask around for more recommendations about their personality etc and see if instructors know one that might make you more at ease. They definitely come in all types!
NorsegodofMX@reddit
So the DPE specifically said you failed the oral?
illimitable1@reddit
Feeling bad is extra extra. You passed. Feeling bad about it is not a requirement.
a_provo_yakker@reddit
Sadly that’s just half the examiners out there. Even some of my airline sim instructors along the way, a few check airmen, densely plenty of captains. You’re 19 and this guy is…let me guess, past retirement age and a war veteran? It always sucks ☹️ That’s also where the “cooperate to graduate” comes in. It can really make you feel off your game, which is always a threat. But it’ll build your resilience. Just remember you got this far, it’ll work out.
maianoxia@reddit
Ian Smith was a moron
Proof_Grape787@reddit
Wtf are you on about?
NuttPunch@reddit
He’s upset because I’m from Rhodesia/Zimbabwe and believes he understands the entire history of that situation better than me.
AtrophiedTraining@reddit
What!? What triggered this person in this checkride conversation? Are y'all fighting across various subreddits?
NuttPunch@reddit
Ian Smith wasn’t a moron and it wasn’t an apartheid state. Completely disregarding the many Africans who fought and died to preserve Rhodesia from falling into the genocidal despotism of Mugabe. But hey, I guess Mugabe was equal opportunity about who he executed and tortured.
maianoxia@reddit
If only Ian Smith wasn’t a stubborn dumbass and got rid of minority rule WITHOUT relinquishing power to ZANU/ZAP. But no lol. Just ignore all those biological weapons that Rhodesia was developing and the chemical weapons they deployed on the blacks during the bush war.
Jae30001@reddit
Naughty bot
attempted-anonymity@reddit
My DPE seemed to take pleasure in playing head games, pretending I was doing terribly then passing me and telling me after what a great pilot I was going to be. I heard from others after that he liked to do that to everyone 🤷♂️
No_Diver_2133@reddit
Sounds like the oral was a fail and she’s retesting. The anxiety disorder thing is what I am concerned about, she should really look after herself first and think about flying second.
NuttPunch@reddit
She said she canceled the flying portion due to wind.
No_Diver_2133@reddit
I don’t know, what she’s saying and how she’s writing it makes me doubt it. They may have canceled the flight due to wind but the oral still sounds like a bust. Just poorly worded.
KindaJaded@reddit
Redo the oral and don’t worry about failing anything else. Just stay focused on each maneuver thru the flight. The examiner will likely sit quietly taking notes. You can talk thru the maneuvers if you want but don’t be unnerved by the dpe. Just get your PPL done, then assess if you want to do the IR (because it really goes with the PPL even for someone who only flies for fun). And yes it’s normal for some examiners to be assholes but at the very least they have to be FAIR and judge you based on the ACS standards.
NoGuidance8609@reddit
I used to work with a pilot who was a funeral director and embalmer! Don’t give up, finish what you started. It will feel better once you get past this speed bump and don’t believe that you can’t do both.
PrimaryAgent007@reddit
I was in the EXACT same boat as you, but I wanted to go into early childhood occupational therapy. I got all the way to my check ride and my anxiety got so bad I had to stop. I love aviation and I hope to get back into flying, but for now I’m following the career I’ve always wanted.
I hope you chase your mortuary dreams and get back into flying when you can :)
81Horse@reddit
You are 19 -- you are allowed to change your major! ;)
I would say that, if you can find the willpower to retake the check ride, I think you will be glad you did.
In the first place, it feels good to accomplish a milestone goal. In the second place, it feels shitty to quit while feeling defeated. Third, you are not the only person BY FAR to have dorked up a check ride. Fourth, you'll feel better about telling your scholarship advisor about your decision, and you will be respected for returning as much money to the program as you can.
And fifth: you'll have a license that can never be taken away from you. Who knows? At some point in your life, you may be in a position where you want to fly for recreation or for personal travel. It will suck if you have to basically start all over.
Get it done. Then quit.
Afternoon-Material@reddit
Sounds like it’s not for you. And that’s ok.
Number1atp@reddit
You’re so close. Reevaluate after you pass the PPL check ride. Anxiety and check ride jitters are normal. Plus you may want to fly between locations when you start buying up funeral homes all over.
CaptJellico@reddit
Since I was in my early teens, and got to ride in a Cessna 172 with my friend and his dad, I have wanted to be a pilot. Unfortunately, it just wasn't in the cards for me to make it a career. But, even decades later, it was still something I wanted to do so, a couple of years ago, at the age of 53, I started my flight training.
It was great at first, but I ran into some challenges along the way, not the least of which was losing my wife to cancer. After taking a break, I decided to keep moving forward with it. At the one year mark, it was starting to feel like I would never finish. I was at the point where I was thinking about quitting. It was taking forever to get my checkride scheduled, and then when it was finally on the calendar, I ended up tearing my calf muscle a week before the appointed time. That pushed it back three more months. Again, I was really thinking about quitting.
When the day finally came, I did well on the oral and all of my flying, but when it came time to do the landings, my leg was starting to really hurt and my landings ended up being awful. Consequently, I failed that portion of the checkride. It was rescheduled for 3 weeks--the soonest he had available. I remember thinking that, if I failed again, I would have to start the checkride process all over again and who knows how long it would take. So, again, I was seriously considering quitting. Fortunately, I did pass my landings on the recheck and, nearly a year and a half and 120 logged hours later, I got the piece of paper making me, officially, a certificated pilot. That feeling of accomplishment was absolutely incredible! It was more profound than anything I had accomplished up to that point, even earning my two Master's degrees.
So, I would strongly encourage you to hand in there and make it across the finish line. I would bet serious money that you will never regret getting your PPL, but you will almost certainly come to regret it if you don't.
Good luck!
mi_pilot@reddit
Wow that was really inspiring! Best of luck!
CaptJellico@reddit
Thank you!
Sinorm@reddit
Don't stop here, at least get your PPL. Your private license is good for life, don't quit right before your checkride. You can re-evaluation what you want to do with your life after you have your PPL, but don't stop before that since you are so close. It will be way harder and more expensive to pick it back up in the future if you stop now.
No_Diver_2133@reddit
You’re telling someone with major anxiety disorder to keep going? Love reddit. What she needs to do is prioritize her health and go after her real passions in life. Sunk cost fallacy and all that.
mkosmo@reddit
Yeah, I’d be curious about that given how many anxiety conditions are medical DQ.
No_Diver_2133@reddit
She didn’t report it and probably isn’t on meds for it but she’s self aware and recognized its an issue. She definitely needs to fix that before considering flying. The hive-mind mentality of telling her to “Just finish you can do it!!” isn’t helping her and is dangerous. IMSAFE anyone?
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
Yeah, I’m not on any medication and never have been. I’ve never really had any anxiety about flying, it’s really just this whole checkride/future thing.
mkosmo@reddit
It’s not that. It’s that you said in the OP that you’ve got a “pretty major anxiety disorder”
poser765@reddit
In context of the rest of the post I just figured she was using “major anxiety disorder” very colloquially to signify a pretty casual, self diagnosed case of “I get nervous about shit. The state of her medical fitness is between her and her AME.
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
No, I’ve had major anxiety since middle school. I was officially diagnosed with it just over 2 years ago. Never went on meds (mom didn’t want me to)
poser765@reddit
Well fuck me, and you have a medical? Good for you! Or basic med I guess.
No_Water9929@reddit
Something to keep in mind. Most technically rigorous jobs have difficult trials to get through. Nurses/doctors do exams and Oral Boards, then clinicals. Lawyers spend years apprenticing and they take some hellacious exams. Even Fields which do not require degrees can have extreme trials.
I'm in the Nuclear Power Industry, and before I was a nuclear operator for the Navy. The exams and oral boards that I went through to get certified were insane. My first experiences operating a nuclear reactor were filled with anxiety and terror. Many times I had to ask myself if it was right for me to be there.
I also spent some time as a Nuclear Instructor teaching adults in your age group to overcome those same limitations I experienced.
I am here to tell you that what you are experiencing is a very natural response to this trial. I am also here to tell you, that questioning if that career is right for you, shows a very healthy level of introspection. This is something that CAN be overcome. You CAN still be a competent and safe pilot.
Everyone experiences anxiety. It is a natural response to stress. You are young and your stress tolerance is probably being challenged for the first time. As you get older and as you challenge your stress tolerance, it will grow and you will learn to manage your anxiety.
Even if you decide to leave aviation, you can only benefit yourself in the long run by building your stress tolerance.
True (diagnosed) anxiety disorders require medical help, and would likely preclude a career in aviation.
Don't give up.
SnooObjections7757@reddit
Sorry a lil off topic, but is this imposter syndrome ?
Deocto@reddit
Yes. At least partially.
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
I’ve never heard of imposter syndrome
ahappywaterheater@reddit
I also have extreme anxiety with my Ppl checkride. Couldn’t get to sleep the night before, when I did got right back up. I could eat at breakfast because I got nauseous. My oral went okay and also had my discontinue due to weather. For the ride, I was able to get through it, a couple of mistakes, nothing that resulted in failure. I was 20 when I took mine. After getting older I noticed that I grew thicker skin too and my anxiety lessen. It’s just your first checkride, you’ll be fine. If not, you’ll do it again and know exactly what is expected of you.
kronos557@reddit
Find a different DPE if you have to. I failed my PPL check ride twice and felt like the dumbest idiot in the world and wondered if that was it for me. But the confidence boost I got when I finally passed meant the world to me.
What if flying is for you? You are so close, you might as well finish. What if you look back 5 years from now and regret not finishing this?
IMO this shouldn't be about the money. This is about you. If you do this and persevere, you will be a stronger person, and you'll always be able to draw strength from fighting through the uncertainty.
You can do this, and it's time for you to believe in yourself. Never give up, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.
mi_pilot@reddit
Hi, some DPEs, like most A&Ps I know (chuckle) and rare CFIs, have let’s just say “difficult personalities”. That’s part of life, dealing with snowflakes and knowitalls, and still keeping your sanity. Given the anxiety you mentioned (this potentially has a whole another tangent with FAA & medical certification, if you’re on any meds), I would say step back, regroup, settle down, brush up on the material you feel you were weak on, and find a different DPE. Also discuss with your CFI - does he/she know about your anxiety? But if you decide to continue and pass the CR, it’ll be the best feeling ever (at least it was to me). Good luck!
Dismal-Suit-630@reddit
so wait, you “cancelled” the flight portion because of wind, but you didn’t pass the oral in the first place? Stop confusing us lmfao, it’s obvious you failed a check ride and now you feel like you can’t do it. At least that’s what I’m getting from it. If you don’t pass your ground you don’t go up in the air. Just practice, chair fly and it’s mind over matter.
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
He literally told me at the beginning before we even started the oral that we weren’t going to fly because of the wind.
MangledX@reddit
If you know deep down you're not in love with it, then I'd say you need to have a serious soul search. What I can tell you is that the learning doesn't stop when you pass a ppl checkride. In fact, it never stops. And you'll never know everything. If you're not excited about that pursuit of further knowledge and safety, then I'd agree that aviation may not be for you. If, however, you're looking at one oral practical as the decided factor, I say you may be jumping the gun. The anxiety part will always be there. Flying was not intended for humans. We cheated the norms of universal law by doing so, and as a species, we know that. So the anxiety is there to keep you safe. But it can also become a huge detriment if your knowledge and proficiency aren't also improving and your motivation is waning.
As others will tell you - flying is not for everyone. And this is 100 percent true. There is great responsibility that comes with being even a private pilot. Don't make the decision today, but at least weigh your decision carefully. Remember that you have to share the sky with everyone else up there. If that idea and spirit of adventure aren't there, don't risk others trying to force the issue worrying about 9k dollars is pointless if you end up in a smoking hole.
Copperjacket762@reddit
Finish your checkride and then quit. You can pick it back up literally any time for the rest of your life provided you are healthy enough.
Much like embalming, not every vocation is for everyone. There’s nothing wrong with that and no shame whatsoever in acknowledging it.
derdubb@reddit
CPL student here. Although I don’t know much compared to some, what I do know is that aviation really requires assertiveness and confidence in knowing your stuff (and actually knowing it). These are what the DPEs want to see in my experience so far. These two qualities are really a prerequisite to success.
That being said, again in aviation you will have amazing days and you will have days where you feel like you do now. It’s all part of it.
EntroperZero@reddit
A lot to unpack here.
I don't think you should push yourself to become an ATP if your dream is to do something else with your life. So, just right off the bat, don't put that much pressure on yourself.
The second thing, though, is that you've completed half a checkride for PPL, and IMO stopping right now would be a huge mistake. At least do your checkride, and get your PPL. If you stop today, then all the work you've done and the money you've spent is worth nothing. But potentially, you are 1.5 to 2.0 hours from being a private pilot. So get there, and then take a break. If you don't want to go any further, that's cool, but you will have accomplished something hard, and you can go flying in the future if you feel like it. I assume you don't hate the actual flying, but the anxiety that comes with it. Just do one more flight, and do the best you can, and know that you can stop there if you want to. Don't what-if yourself to death, just go do the checkride.
Have you ever been to a therapist for anxiety? Because that's something that will follow you around no matter what you do in life. I had an anxiety disorder at exactly your age and dropped out of college, meds didn't do shit for me, therapy did. I got over it in about a year, and within a few more years I had my degree and have had a solid career for the last 15 years. So get yourself some help.
MacAttack0711@reddit
I would recommend you finish your check ride, you’re so close! After that you have the PPL and it’s valid for life, you can throw it on your resume or use it as a conversation starter for the rest of life. If you don’t enjoy flying, don’t fly ever again and look back fondly on the time you spent doing it while you did. That’s totally fine. Aviation isn’t for everyone and if there’s something you want to do that sounds like you’d enjoy it, pursue that instead.
I wanted to be a pilot since I was a kid, never got around to it until I’d spent years in a career I hated. Glad I made the switch when I did, but if someone had told me to honor what I feel and go chase my dream, I’d have been much better off fulfillment wise, much sooner. Don’t worry about a scholarship. It’s not a loan, you don’t owe them anything.
Best of luck!
DarthStrakh@reddit
Wtf? Finish your ppl. If you got cleared to do it you're ready. You're 2 weeks away?? Just finish the ppl then decide, you get to keep that cert for life...
PutOptions@reddit
Make the switch OP. Rip off that bandaid (the sunk cost of the scholarship) get on your proper path.
You can always come back to flying later like I did. Hold on to that logbook -- you've earned those hours. Once you are in a better headspace, study and fly for a couple months and bingo. Fly for fun, not money.
DarthStrakh@reddit
Or finish he ppl she's a week off of finishing and clearly ready for if her cfi cleared her.
Yeto4774@reddit
Do you WANT to do this? If so, keep the drive and keep trying to learn.
What’s step1 for aircraft issues? Don’t ever give up and stop trying to fly the aircraft. Treat life goals the same way 🙂
Apprehensive-Gap639@reddit
I personally think Is a little too late to quit. You are almost there one flight and done. I would encourage you to get one or two review flights with your instructor build up that confidence back up and get it done.
To be fair, is very rare I get to see an applicant that passed his or her checkride with flying colors, I’m not saying that they deserve to fail (that’s up to each dpe) but they passed for a reason.
Remember that perfection is not what the FAA looks for, there’s a reason why we have an ACS.
Good luck, hope you to hear good news from you.
cwang238@reddit
Isn’t the whole point of being a student to learn? Sometimes you fail. And that’s okay. You go back, study and learn where to fill in gaps. Then you take the test and pass it. At 19, early in life follow through with what you’ve started. You’re almost there to obtain something for life and someone else is paying for it. Finish your ppl, if you decide not to keep flying totally fine.
TheSteveGraff@reddit
If it’s not worth it to you, why put yourself through the stress? I think you have a “sunk cost fallacy” situation going on.
Good luck either way. Follow your dreams whatever they truly are.
illimitable1@reddit
Why anyone would make fun of you for having an anxiety disorder, I could not fathom.
Everyone finds it difficult at some point to know what path to take forward. Over time, some of us get more practice. For example, I am 49 and so I have two decades more experience in deciding what I want to do. But even for those of us with more practice, it can be really hard to know what to do and to feel good about that decision.
I want to point out that this way you feel is not really about aviation. It could be about anything. You could have gone to mortuary school and wondered if it was right for you. As a person with anxiety myself, sometimes, I can say that when a situation is ambiguous, and I just can't know for certain what the right thing to do is, it's especially difficult.
No one can tell you what the right answer is. However, someone could point out to you some of the distorted thinking you have. Your thought that you did poorly in your check ride is an example of that. Your DPE passed you and that is all that matters.
Jrnation8988@reddit
So…not to sound like an asshole, but how did you get your medical if you have a “pretty major anxiety disorder”? Not throwing shade, but I feel like that probably should have raised some red flags when it comes to getting your medical.
As for your situation, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.
dylan_hawley@reddit
Aviation isn’t for everybody, but if it were me I would consider atleast knocking the checkride out. Raining and then coming back around and passing it can make you much more confident moving forward
Embarrassed_Group869@reddit
I failed my first checkride. Passed the 2nd time. Flying has changed my life. Don’t quit now even you’re so close! Fail as many times as it takes until you succeed. Don’t quit!
Western-Sky88@reddit
You know, I think that you should finish your PPL. You're standing right across that threshold. There's nothing wrong with finishing it and then saying, "I don't think I want to make a career of this."
At least then, it's always a skill that you can keep in your back pocket, and something that you can do for fun every once in a while if you want to.
Dmunman@reddit
Quit. Get your dream job. Pay them back in installments. No brainer
Dalibongo@reddit
At the bare minimum you owe it to yourself and the other people you took that scholarship money from to finish your PPL. I’m sure there’s someone out there that applied and didn’t get it that now has to find a way to fund their dream.
Once you get your PPL fly around for FUN for a bit. Do some solo flying, bring friends for sight seeing, grab a $1000 dollar hamburger. Recharge the aviation batteries and then make a decision about how you really feel. The recently cancelled checkride and poor oral performance are likely clouding your judgment at least a little.
perrymike15@reddit
Idk it sounds like you're letting the anxiety get the best of you. You are at the finish line and gonna quit? Just muscle through your ppl then decide. But the way I see it is if you have come this far and are literally at the last step why would you ever quit.
How would you ever have any satisfaction of getting anything done if you quit at the last second? Even if you switch careers you can at least say you accomplished something here. You'd probably only contribute to your anxiety if you quit now. Don't quit in the 11th hour you have nothing to lose.
But what do I know. Just my $0.02
sadicarnot@reddit
You know if you end up doing something your heart is not into, you will never be able to succeed at it. Not sure how you ended up wanting to go for aviation, but if that was never what you wanted to do deep down, there is no shame in not doing it.
It sounds like you have a passion for being a funeral director that you do not have for aviation. I hope you pursue that and are successful at it.
ScudRunnin@reddit
You should at least finish the checkride. Pass or fail just finish it, and decide from there. You came this far, and your instructor knows you are capable, otherwise they would not have recommended you. Trust me, checkrides are the worst part of aviation, nobody wants to do them. Imagine after you do this checkride, you will be a licensed pilot! You can fly anywhere you want, and take your friends and family up for a ride to show them the view!
sassinator13@reddit
If you truly bombed the oral, you wouldn’t be flying. Might be your nerves making it hard on you.
Lanky_Beyond725@reddit
Switch examiners, go w someone more relaxing for you. The DPEs have reputations...ask around. I'd encourage you to relax and finish the license. The license is good for life so if you want to go be a mortician, you could still fly your own Cessna around etc.
There's no reason to be so tense about the checkride especially if you're not making a career out of it. Even if you are, just make sure you're well prepared for the retest. I would strongly encourage you to ask your instructor or others around for a more laid back DPE. You absolutely are not obligato go see this jerk again. Most good DPEs will actively attempt to make you relax....as that is the best way to test people. The stress type DPE exam always causes worse performance.
Biven1563@reddit
Since you made it this far, just finish your ppl. As I'm sure you know by this point, the license never expires, you just need a flight review to exercise the privileges. After that, do what you want. Life is too short to spend doing something you don't enjoy. That being said, I recently career changed from working in an office to aviation, got my first flying job, and am enjoying it immensely. Plus, you can always come back to it later if you change your mind.
Dmackman1969@reddit
If one instance like this can dissuade you away from aviation, this is not the industry/hobby for you.
Hot_Indication470@reddit
Finish your PPL. You owe it to us for taking a scholarship.
Helpful-Evidence-886@reddit
It sounds like if you continue you’ll eventually endanger yourself and others. Do what you really want to do and leave the flying to other people.
DragonflyChemical607@reddit
I’ve been here. Best thing you can do is push through and finish. Study the ground material and maneuvers. Chair fly. This will increase your confidence a ton. When you pass you will feel excellent. Go to the bar and grab a stiff drink to celebrate!
Draager77@reddit
I’m curious how OP passed the medical with an anxiety disorder. Presumably she is on medication that would make it impossible.
oh_helloghost@reddit
I remember pulling into the airport parking lot on the morning of my PPL flight test and thinking ‘What the hell am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself? I’m not made for this.’ … now I’m an airline pilot.
Your first flight test is arguably the most stressful point in your flying career. Don’t give up now. You got this! Your instructor believes in you too. Think of all the hard work you’ve put in to get to this point.
Get through the flight test and then give yourself a chance to reevaluate on the other side. Once you are out of the pressure cooker, things will look and feel a lot different. And if you still want to be a funeral director, then go for it, but get the flight test done before making any big decisions.
Good luck! 👊
nzavaiator@reddit
Aviation is one of the hardest careers to get into. You come out with 250-300 hours and need 500 to be hireable in most places. It definitely isn't for everyone. Some of the best pilots I know didn't make it through the early parts of getting into aviation. There is nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong at all about saying maybe this isn't for me. However don't make that decision off one bad experience. You can ask for a different examiner if there is one close. I failed my first instructors exam (mostly my fault, but it really felt like the examiner was out for blood). I was a given another who was nurturing and passed it. You have to make a call that works for you. Find mentors, talk to instructors and find communities. If you wanna be in aviation do it you won't regret it it's an amazing job but it can be rough. These doubts are normal. Feel free to dm me on here if you need a chat.
Perfect_Insurance_26@reddit
I get extremely anxious in oral exams. In my last one the DPE gave me the room to calm down and restart because I couldn't get my sentences straight. That is my only big struggle as a pilot, but I'm now on my way to being a CFI. Don't give up because of performance anxiety or social anxiety. It's worth the one awkward hour out of a hundred.
Altruistic-Cod1330@reddit
If you’re not having fun now, then you never will. Get out before you’re in too deep.
hibeech@reddit
I totally respect if you want to quit. Flying is hard and DPEs are often sexist which never helps. You don’t have to make it a career but i personally would finish your ppl just so you have it for fun flying. Also checkride anxiety is a very real thing. I think I’m a pretty good pilot and I have good knowledge and instincts but I have failed both my ppl and instrument checkrides during the flying portion for stupid things I knew better about just because I get so anxious. Don’t feel like you aren’t cut out just because a checkride didn’t go well.
jjkbill@reddit
I mean this in a gentle way but if you have a major anxiety disorder you're not meant to be flying. There are other things out there you can do but with this disorder you probably shouldn't have passed the medical clearance.
Take time off to treat your anxiety, and then re-evaluate what you want to do.
Hey__m8y@reddit
Hey, I hope you’ll understand someday that it’s ok to fail some things. As I see it, you’ve just gave up on your goals after one fail. In 10 years in your 30s you will send huge thanks to young yourself for being strong enough to keep going.
ChrisCalioFanAccount@reddit
And we say bye bye
InvestmentGoblin@reddit
Just a lurker here in a completely different industry/major, but I wanted to at least let you know that $9000 isn’t much money at all for whoever gave it to you. Plenty people spend that much out of pocket to get a license for fun. So whatever you do don’t let the guilt about scholarship influence your decision. Iirc us women sometimes let those things influence us too much
Typical-Buy-4961@reddit
Just finish your checkride and then quit. You’ll be able to tell folks you are a qualified pilot and that’s a plus on any resume!
JackstaWRX@reddit
You’ve maxe it this far, keep at it.
chillbruh360bruh@reddit
go into mortuary science! there aren't enough morticians anymore and with rising demand for funeral services and alternatives the industry can only grow (morbidly). plus, it can automatically come with free housing depending on if you get a directory or not... it's a cool career and as the husband to a mortician myself, it's truly fulfilling to someone who has a passion for it :)
Wooden_Patience_6367@reddit
Checkride is already paid for? Just finish and don’t waste that money spent. Get the rating and decide then
Biggaymeow@reddit
Agree! If you are that close to a private,go ahead and get the license. You never know when the bug will hit and getting a refresher course is better/cheaper than going through the whole process again, especially if checkrides exacerbate your anxiety. It would be a total waste of your scholarship to get 99% there and check out.
VileInventor@reddit
You passed the oral. You did good, I’m sorry the DPE made you feel that bad. One of mine did too. Get on that flight, blow it out of the water. Get that license and then go from there. You’re doing great I’m proud of your hard work.
KeyOfGSharp@reddit
I feel you. I really hope you figure out what you want to do with your life. If you need any help, you are more than welcome to ask most people here in this community.
That being said, you are so close to having something that doesn't expire. You might consider getting your PPL for that reason among a few more.
I'm on the stance that the ppl checkride has got to be (at least one of) the hardest checkrides because you simply have no idea what to expect. It's any wonder you are nervous.
Either way, take a look at the comments....I don't think you need to worry too much about judgement no matter the choice you make. Good luck, let us know!
Phillimac16@reddit
If you don't want to continue, don't, sounds like you already know what you want to do which many people can't say they know at your age (shit I'm 33 and don't know what I want to do). I would encourage you to push through though, once a PPL always a PPL. The student pilot cert expires (I think).
Asleep-Iron1025@reddit
As a professional pilot I say quit now. Go be a funeral director.
CommuterType@reddit
Once a month I seriously question why I ever got into this profession.
It gets better though. When I worked at Trans-States it was daily
exarch88@reddit
Here I thought at your level those doubts would go away. 😬
CommuterType@reddit
Pilots with no doubts are goddamn dangerous to fly with
LigmaActual@reddit
but you passed
RaidenMonster@reddit
Probably less competition at mortuary school?
If you don’t wanna fly, don’t. Doing the bag drag done another hallway only to leave your room in the morning and not remember which way to go for the elevator isn’t for everyone. Neither are corpses.
You only get one gonna this game. Don’t go out of your way to make it unenjoyable. Life will do that for you.
Slight-Success2745@reddit
What does this mean?
RaidenMonster@reddit
Corrected some typos for clarity.
Do what you want. Life is hard enough as is, don’t make it worse by grinding away at something you dislike. There are probably less people trying to be funeral directors than pilots.
Good-Cardiologist121@reddit
So did you not fly due to wind or because you failed the oral?
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
We didn’t fly because of the wind
exarch88@reddit
Like Cardiologist said, you passed the oral if you had option to fly. So that’s good. Baby steps, you got this. Get the private. And I would say instrument (for some bad sudden cloud situations. Could keep you alive). Then swap
Good-Cardiologist121@reddit
Then you passed the oral.
fluffyball00@reddit
Was the school one where they promise a licence really quick in 4 weeks? That was my story with Florida, coming from the UK, they always advertised in the flyer magazine about getting my PPL in just 4 Weeks, even with my learning to fly on flight sims at home, their way of teaching wasn't good and the 6 thick 5 foot high in total books, well I read them but 90% of the exam was about 2 pages of the book that I didn't read properly, it was all about Taxes rather than real air law stuff such as rules of the air.
It was a european PPL, it was pretty awful. The map one I failed, trying to plot cross country on a tiny single school style table you see in elementary school, so i'm doing a line then it goes off the table, it was awful, I wasted £4000, the CFI/Owner, I heard having a fight and pushed someone against the wall. It was like a factory farm of schools in that state promising everything.
Years later, my Peruvian friend was going to get the FAA one and said I should come, I saved and did 4 months there instead of 4 weeks, just about got it all done in time, I think the flying hours I did carried over. Still needed the time.
Even more so if you don't get the experience of the flight sim at home, I hope you can keep going or take a break to re-do it, don't burn yourself out, which is easy to do.
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
No fly at a small, uncontrolled, airport with a single grass strip. I haven’t even used $8k of my scholarship yet. It’s pretty cheap where I’m doing it.
exarch88@reddit
That’s awesome it’s so cheap. Burn the funds and get that PPL at least. My PPL is criminally expensive. lol
exarch88@reddit
I say, get your private at least, since you’re at checkride. I can recommend some good study material. Or do u know where u had issues and can get some spot coaching?
After that, do what your heart and you want to do. Aviation can be nerve wrecking, and demanding. If ur not into it, if it’s not worth it to you, don’t subject yourself to it.
Chase your dreams, do some Embalming work!
californiasamurai@reddit
I'm a PPL student as well. Been through the whole experience, had a dogshit check pilot for my second presolo test ever who just screamed at me the whole time. I did the best I could, but still failed. My first instructor was mostly the same way, but tbh he had a lot going on in his personal life so I kind of forgive him by now. Nowdays I go in ready to fight. Don't let it get to you, it'll happen. Just really unfortunate. Hope your scenario gets better
CaptMcMooney@reddit
to be honest, the checkride is NOT supposed to be easy, someone is judging you in a few short hours if you are capable of flying an airplane and not killing everyone. that being said, study more, pass the ppl then take a break, smell the coffee, walk the roses, etc...
phxcobraz@reddit
Finish up the private, you are right there, get a different DPE if this one is a huge dick. Fly for fun for a bit before digging into IFR and see how you like it. If you enjoy actually flying and going places, do your IFR and so on. Knowing you enjoy flying in the back of your mind will help you deal with the stress that is checkrides.
SteadyMobbin0853@reddit
There's a chief pilot at the school I instruct at who is really experienced and knowledgeable. Every time I have flown with him I land thinking I suck. But then in the debrief he usually says something along the lines of "that was pretty good."
Keep your head up and keep grinding!
Standard_Arugula5465@reddit
Been there. Grind through it. Find your inner strength. Hire a CFI and sit down all weekend or on days off. Practice time and time again. Take adderall if need be.
Jwylde2@reddit
“Thinking about quitting flying”
Now slap yourself and never do that again.
Owl_Better@reddit
I don’t know! You should spend some time getting your head and attitude right. You’ve invested a lot of time and effort and your CFi obviously thinks you’re capable. Prepare yourself and finish this. You’ve got this😎
Technicallycraig@reddit
Stick with it! You can do it!
VanillaCokeisthebest@reddit
At least finish the checkride and decide later if you wanna continue with IR or CPL
rmy26@reddit
Don't do something that you don't like. If your dream is to go into something else, do that. Life is too short to live someone else's dream. Fuck the money.
csl512@reddit
You can't get that time and effort you spent back if you abandon the checkride. But you're two weeks away from this finish line and this achievement. Nothing is forcing you to become a professional pilot after finishing private.
At 19 your brain is still growing/pruning. There will be time for either or both dreams. Getting the private certificate closes no doors.
airplanegirl17@reddit
hey, i’m also 19F and just got my CPL. i’ve had similar reservations throughout training, i had always wanted to go to art school. i started at 16. the question that has kept me going is, “why am i here?” do you have career goals down the line? training and the steep learning curve can be hard to navigate but thinking about your end goal definitely helps. another question to ask- do you enjoy actually flying and doing well at it? being a girl in the field is tough, ESPECIALLY at our age. impostor syndrome definitely can get us down but a good reminder is that your accomplishments are no less than anyone else. even the 30 year old dude that finished his PPL the same time as you. you’re worthy of what you’ve achieved, even getting to the point of being signed off for that checkride is proof enough. i’d say finish out your PPL (i know you can!!) and take a short break. it’s hard to feel like you have to know what every step is going to be this early on in life. i also suggest being careful on reddit, lots of downers on here. there are some great female aviation facebook groups that have been really helpful and encouraging to me and have honestly given me so many pointers and resources. sorry for the book! please feel free to reach out if you ever need some words of encouragement. what you’re doing isn’t easy :)
EmwLo@reddit
You’re so close to the finish line, just keep going and earn your certificate. You don’t have to be a professional pilot. Hell, you probably shouldn’t be unless that’s the ONLY thing you want to do. I changed my mind about what I wanted to be about 10 times between 19 and now. Get your PPL, then step away from flying and pursue mortuary school. Then in 5-10 years you can come back to flying as a hobby (if you want) and not have to start at square one (written and checkride prep) and get re-current with a CFI with much less pressure.
You are also very very young. I can’t imagine getting my certificate at 19, so what you are doing is something to be proud of.
Appropriate-Test-48@reddit (OP)
I apologize for all the cussing in this post; I was very frustrated with myself while writing it😓🥲
Outrageous-Job2684@reddit
I mean you’re already here. Just go get the PPL done then reevaluate. If you are think you don’t wanna be a pilot as a career then definitely don’t do it. But having a Private Pilot’s license is always nice to have. No need to quit when you’re practically touching the finish line
skipperskeet@reddit
Also not trying to be a dick but if you have major anxiety you should not be flying at this time. If you can get it figured out maybe later on but it could be dangerous to you and others around you.
Old-Ad4438@reddit
Keep going! You will regret not completing. I’m over 10 years older than you and would do a lot to be in your position. Let us know when you pass!
Av8tr1@reddit
So you have just run a marathon and gotten all the way to the check ride and you want to quit within feet of the finish line. Do I have that right?
Getting this far is a major accomplishment. Something like 75% of the people who start taking lessons don't get this far. Your instructor would not have put you up for the check ride if they did not feel you were ready. And you proved it by passing your oral. You are halfway through the check ride! All you have to do is go out and fly it.
The DPEs job is to find gaps in your knowledge. You are going to feel like shit afterwards, and during and before. You didn't dog shit it, you passed it.
But the point is you already passed that part. Don't quit now. Put your cowgirl panties on and knock that fuckers socks off in the plane.
You know what you are doing. You wouldn't have gotten this far if you didn't. You are being too hard on yourself. Stop it.
One thing I often see if some flight schools and instructors turn this into military flight school training. They take all the fun out of it. They kill the passion like people in a bad relationship. So at one point you had a real passion for this. You loved doing this and couldn't wait to get out to the airport. Your flight school and instructor probably turned it into a grind and a chore.
Thats not what flying is. Its about sitting above the clouds. Its about doing something magical. Its not rocket surgery. Its like driving a car but you add an extra dimension.
Trust me there are far worse pilots out there than you and some of them are captains at legacy airlines. You got this. Don't give up now.
Once you get over this check ride, go out and have some fun with your newfound freedom. You'll likely get the passion back.
If you are questioning your knowledge get with an instructor and practice the maneuvers. Teach the checkride to someone to keep yourself fresh. You know how to do this. You need to prove it to yourself. If you don't you will forever regret not finishing so close to the finish line.
If you want someone to do review with drop me a DM. I am off this week. I am a CFI/CFII and would be happy to spend some time over Zoom or something getting you ready.
TheMeltingPointOfWax@reddit
I agree with you, but you don't need to shit on military flight training. It was very difficult, but I enjoyed my time in UPT. The instructors wanted you to be good aviators, but they were also invested in instilling the culture of being an Air Force pilot. By and large they were passionate, and empathetic. The standards are very high simply because they have to be - we have an obligation to try to make the most of taxpayer dollars.
Av8tr1@reddit
I’m a former military aviator as well. Army. There was no intention to shit on our armed forces. I enjoyed my time at Rucker as well.
But this young lady isn’t in the military. And all too often I see civilian flight schools try to make civilian training like the military. Schools like ATP play that Bull shit. This young lady is a customer and should be treated as such. She paid her way here and should be respected and given the tools to succeed not attempt to wash her out.
Civilian training should be nothing like the military. There is no reason to rush. No reason to jam stuff down “customers” throats and threaten to wash them out if they can’t keep up.
TheMeltingPointOfWax@reddit
I see your point, it just felt unfair to say the military style would "kill passion."
Av8tr1@reddit
I sure can. I know there were days I dreaded going out to the flight line. Tell me you didn’t have those days and I’ll know you are lying. And we wanted to be there for the greater good. We were there to defend our families, our neighbors, our communities. We were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice.
But these civilian flight schools who want to put kids who put up a shit to of money only to get treated like crap and taken advantage of need to get shut down or sued out of existence when they try ripping customers off with this crap.
Mattyice199415@reddit
OP mentioned in another comment they did not pass the oral
Av8tr1@reddit
Oh, I did not get that from the post. That does change things.
GSOaviator@reddit
Hey guess what? I’ve felt like complete shit during multiple check rides yet I don’t have any failures (luckily). Almost every pilot has felt like shit after a checkride before. That should make you study harder for your next event. I bet when you get to the big leagues making good coin with a sick view flying with someone you get along great with you won’t still be thinking “shit I wish I was embalming a dead body right now”.
And we all go through some type of anxiety at some point. We almost get ourself killed in an airplane or have an emergency and it might be hard to get back up the next couple of times, but that’s great. It’s called growing. You learn and become better for it.
Don’t make a rash decision based off recent events & performance. If airlines are your thing, they’re going to ask you about a time you had trouble in training or your career and they’re gonna call BS if you say you’ve never had trouble. You obviously cared about flying and wanted to do it at some point, so for now focus on the reasons why you wanted to and not why you don’t. And in the future if you still aren’t enjoying it (it’s also not fun 100% of the time, that just comes with anything in life) then you should consider doing something else because the worst part about flying for a living is flying with a miserable fuck for a turn or God forbid 4 days.
Mispelled-This@reddit
If you discontinued due to winds, then you didn’t fail the oral. Many DPEs have a way of making every applicant feel like an idiot, but your CFI wouldn’t have signed you off for the checkride if you were.
If you still want to quit after you finish the ride, there’s no shame in that. You’ll still be a pilot (which <1% of people can say), and that license is good for the rest of your life in case things ever change.
Also, it’s not career or nothing. Over half of all pilots just fly as a hobby, and once I quit the training grind, flying became fun again.
TemporaryAmbassador1@reddit
I think, if nothing else, finish your PPL. It never goes away. Maybe it’s not the career for you, maybe breaking through will give you the motivation to continue, but I absolutely think you need to do the checkride for yourself.
OneSea3243@reddit
Can u specify what u did bad on? That would help others. If I were you, I would push through and get that piece of plastic because A, It’s free because of a scholarship u got. B, you made it so far so you got this!
AnActualSquirrel@reddit
Finish it. It will prevent future guilt for disappointing your sponsors and reduce your overall anxiety over the whole situation.
You've completed your written and all of your solo work so we know you're capable of finishing this.
Get the checkride behind you, soak up the accolades for being a successful scholarship recipient, then take as long of a break as you'd like and revisit flying as a certificated pilot if the spark ever comes back. Or never do it again, whatever you'd like.
It's safe to say that you'll never go back through all of the trouble to start over if you don't finish it now.
AQuebecJoke@reddit
Maybe take a break? Don’t rush into that big of a decision, you might just be burnt out and don’t realize it. Take a 2 week break, relax, do things that you love and when you comeback you’ll have a much better idea of the de decision you should make.
vyqz@reddit
use the sportys study buddy private pilot app to hit yourself with some flash cards. watch this, and other oral exams on YouTube. https://youtu.be/kr483zBbQKw?si=2ipsjGJ_sZtI7v3w
PsuPepperoni@reddit
Please don't let one bad day make you give up. I know that feeling and I know it will make you feel so good to get past it.
You may still decide one day that flying isn't for you, but check rides are shit and you can't let them break you. There's going to be a whole lot of amazing days after the shit day.
retrotechguy@reddit
You are so close to PPL, power through and get it. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You can still be a funeral director with a PPL.
AssEatingCfiReturns@reddit
I have anxiety too. You need to learn to take breaths. Don't let it overwhelm you. You made it through the oral. You're doing good. Get the flight done then take a small break. Recover from the burnout and then go for instrument. It's a bit tougher for us but you need to roll with it. Because even if you pursue something else, whether it be a career as a doctor, lawyer or hell, even a grocery store worker.... You're going to experience the same thing ...
Do it in something you love. God bless
poser765@reddit
So I’ve been flying for a bit more than 20 years. Ive got like 8000 hours. I still occasionally fly with someone that makes me feel like I have no business doing this.
Confidence goes a long way. Act like you belong and the rest will follow.
Vortamock@reddit
You get to spend your time once. Spend it wisely, not forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do.
You could still learn and fly. If you think you'd ever regret backing out, then keep pushing forward. That scholarship is a golden opportunity that few people get, but if it isn't really what you want to do you can have a great career as a funeral director.
kevincaz07@reddit
I started training in 2019 after thinking I may pursue aviation as a career, as I was super unhappy with my current job/industry. Then COVID happened and I also landed a role that I was much happier with. In my case, I decided to finish up what I had started after a 3 month break. I got my PPL in August 2020, then joined a flight club, flew a bit, and then other things got in the way, kids, life in general. In that moment it kind of felt like I had wasted all that time and money training. I almost ended up leaving the club at one point. I had flown 10 times in 2 years, really only to maintain some semblance of currency.
But now my job is changing and I'm finding myself more drawn to flying again. It's one of those weird things I'm learning I can always fall back on, and I'm grateful for how hard I pushed myself years ago. Next up for me is easing into IFR.
My point being - I'm happy to have that first PPL phase complete as life moves on, whether I end up pursuing the career aspect more or it staying a hobby I can use to clear my mind from all of the other crap in my life. And even without that PPL, you still have the knowledge and skills from your training and that's not wasted if you want to come back at some point. At 99% of the way there - I couldn't help but push through and try, but it's not a waste either way.
Dry-Horror-4188@reddit
I was 17 when I got my PPL. Flying was a passion and a dream that I wanted, however, I was going through my training and I came home and told my older brother that I was thinking about hanging it up. He told me to stick with it, it gets better. I did and was able to continue. Don't let the DPE get after you, study hard, know your stuff. Another story, when I went for my IR about 17 years ago, my oral didn't go as well as I thought. At this time I had more than 25 years flying experience, I thought I knew my stuff, but was shocked when my DPE started asking basic questions I had forgotten and failed on. Luck worked in my favor as he used it as a learning experience.
A student pilot certificate, a private pilot certificate, and Instrument Rating, a Commercial Rating are all licenses to learn. Hang in there, don't beat yourself up. Gather knowledge, and enjoy. There is no greater freedom than flying a plane, by yourself, cross country, looking at our fantastic geography, and speaking a language of ATC. Enjoy!
pscan40@reddit
You should finish the PPL because you’ve gotten this far and you’ll have the license for life. Take a break and decide later if you want to continue
Mr-Plop@reddit
Tbh, at two weeks away I'd push on. What if you eventually decide to come back to it? You'd have to start from almost zero.
Pleasureun1t@reddit
DPEs will always make you feel dumb. Most of us have been there where it’s like why am I doing this, this is ass. Best advice I ever got was:
Step 1: unfuck yourself Step 2: repeat as necessary
cazzipropri@reddit
Nobody will ever make fun of your anxiety here. In fact, be very cautions with whom you share that you have an anxiety disorder, and if you haven't been diagnosed and medicated yet, stop and check, as a diagnosis could be medically disqualifying.
You are 19. You are extremely young. Nobody probably taught you how to study properly. A lot of people who do well in the oral are people who had more college experience and, for lack of a better term, "know how to study and how to test". Don't beat yourself up. It's hard to have to learn in one shot what other people had years to learn.
Pleasureun1t@reddit
Most of us have been there. My favorite piece of advice I always give when faced with what seems to be just an uphill shitty situation is:
flyingtroll69@reddit
Please do not display resignation like this in the air
HeadAche2012@reddit
I’d finish the PPL at least, that way you can pick it up again without much loss later
Puravida1904@reddit
You’re SO close keep going and finish that PPL. Even if you just choose to fly as a hobby, don’t stop now and regret it. Same thing happened with me during my check ride… it really takes the fun out of flying but the feeling when you pass is so worth it. Some of my favourite moments flying has been renting a plane solo after getting my PPL and being free to go explore different airports on longer cross countries.
RaiseTheDed@reddit
I had a shitty DPE once for my PPL. Dude made me feel like I was an inadequate idiot. Dude was constantly yelling and criticizing. The shit he had on the debrief was mostly stuff he just had an issue with, but not against the (then) PTS. Like legit screaming. He passed me, but man, what a terrible first experience for a checkride. Fucked me up on future checkrides too, honestly.
You're not an idiot or anything if you passed the oral. I'd recommend finishing your PPL, just so you can stick it to that asshole DPE, but if you don't want to continue, that's ok. It's not a failure, you're just growing. I don't think of people worse or less because they don't want to fly anymore. Letting go of something that you've been working hard on isn't a failure, because it takes strength to do so.
Do what your heart desires.
josh--sacto@reddit
It’s really up to you and whether or not you want to make this your life. If you want to be an embalmer, hey, great! If you want to be a pilot, go for it.
Anxiety sucks, but I’ve viewed it as a way to make me a better person as I’ve pushed through my aviation journey. I almost quit after my instrument checkride failure, but now, as a commercial student, I’m loving flying more than I ever have. I worked heavily after my checkride failure to evaluate why I was getting stuck in my head, and ended up taking up diaphragmatic breathing, which has done wonders for my ability to fly. I feel way more present in the airplane and way more able to handle things as they come. Will I ever get to a legacy airline like I originally dreamed? That’d be nice, but that’s not really the point for me anymore and I can’t say I think about it too much. I just love getting to become better and better at this everyday.
That being said, you’re 19, and I know that the experiences I’ve had in my twenties have been so formative in my aviation journey. It’s okay to be young, travel the world, etc. You don’t need to have life figured out right now and be a salaried employee by the time you’re 21. There’s no shame in taking time to just grow as a person (like a gap year, etc.).
From talking to my female colleagues, I hear it can be especially rough for women in this male dominated environment. Just know that you’re not alone in this.
Also, be careful about trawling Reddit. There’s many people on here who will try to make others think that a checkride failure means you should just give it up now. Anecdotally, I know of people at legacies who disprove this.
Last note: I went into my private checkride convinced I was going to fail. I passed with the instructor commenting that they weren’t used to seeing such good piloting skills from privates. If I can go in to that experience so terrified and come out the other end, there’s no reason you can’t.
No_Diver_2133@reddit
Prioritize your health and go after your real passions in life. Do not feel pressured to continue because of a scholarship, they did not give you money to obtain a PPL, they gave you money to try to obtain one. Realistically, it sounds like you would not fly enough post PPL to maintain any semblance of proficiency, which would be dangerous for you. It’s not a shame to say “Hey you know what, I tried this out, it really wasn’t for me”.
PackedJungle@reddit
This is just my take on it but if aviation isn’t what you want to do then why do it? Don’t feel bad and keep on going just because you got a scholarship for it. If you really want to become a pilot tho then absolutely keep on working at it, don’t be discouraged because of a Checkride failure. I’m 19 also and had a Checkride failure on my IFR oral aswell and keep at it and passed the second try! Do what you want to do and keep at it!
rFlyingTower@reddit
This is a copy of the original post body for posterity:
hi, i’m a 19 yo F, who has my PPL check ride in 2 weeks. last sunday was my checkride, but we had to cancel the flying portion due to wind. i did the oral, absolutely dog shitted it. i did so fucking bad and the DPE was just making me feel worse. i had done 2 mock check rides and did well on the last one.
since last sunday i’ve seriously been doubting myself & wondering why i ever got into this in the first place. i think it would be a lot easier for me to quit if i wasn’t a Ray Aviation Scholar … i was given $9,000 to get my license & now i really just want to stop. my whole life i’ve wanted to go to mortuary school and become a funeral director & embalmer, but for some reason i decided i was going to be a pilot. on one hand i want to quit so they can give the rest of my money to someone else who actually wants it, but i also don’t want to quit BECAUSE of all this money they gave me and of how far i’ve already come. i’d feel like the worst person in the world if all that money was just wasted on me.
i’ve got a pretty major anxiety disorder (whatever make fun of me), and it’s been so damn bad recently just thinking about flying and redoing my checkride is making me fucking nauseous & sweaty & feel like i’m about to faint.
i think deep down i always knew aviation wasn’t where i was supposed to end up, but genuinely i don’t know what to do and i’m so damn tired of thinking about it.
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