Adam, a fresh Navy recruit, was eager on his first day aboard the submarine. He reported to the officer, who sized him up and gave his first order.
Posted by AbhishekT1wari@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 43 comments
"Adam, I need you to stand by the periscope entry and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch it. Understand?"
"Yes, sir!" Adam responded and stood at his post. Fifteen minutes later, the officer returned.
"Adam, I’m reassigning you. Head to the mess hall and start washing dishes."
Without hesitation, Adam complied, scrubbing away at the sink. But after washing only a few dishes, the officer appeared again.
"Adam, change of plans. You're needed in the supply room. Make sure everything’s secured in case of rough waters."
Again, Adam followed the order and made his way to the supply room. Inside, he found another crewman stacking boxes. Adam, a bit frustrated, spoke up.
"Hey, is it normal to keep getting shuffled around like this? I’ve been reassigned three times already, and it’s only been 15 minutes!"
The crewman chuckled and said, "Welcome to the sub, Adam. This place is full of reposts."
Local-Mulberry-7486@reddit
Fuck you, buddy. How dare you make me read this with my own eyes?
Majyk44@reddit
I'm not your buddy Pal!
Xaconon@reddit
I'm not your pal Mate!
Arkon0@reddit
I'm not your friend, bro !
Xaconon@reddit
I'm not your bro, Mate!
BadBeast_11@reddit
I'm not your mate, darling!
No-Serve3491@reddit
I'm not your darling, sweetheart!
habub9@reddit
I’m not your sweetheart, honey!
Xaconon@reddit
I'm not your honey, Babe!
LibertyLord@reddit
I'm not your babe, sexy.
GeluIctus85@reddit
I'm not your sexy, lovely.
Delicious-Window8650@reddit
I'm not your lovely, stud.
Unlikely_Schedule_88@reddit
I'm not your stud, dollface.
The_mighty_gay_lord@reddit
I’m not your dollface, bitch
GeluIctus85@reddit
I'm not your bitch, hunk
izHuNu@reddit
I'm not your hunk, toots!
GeluIctus85@reddit
I'm not your toots, vixen
Spexyboy@reddit
I'm not your vixen, pookie
GeluIctus85@reddit
I'm not your pookie, puddin
Hillbilly158@reddit
Your mother and I are so disappointed in you. Take this upvote and go to your room.
F3Fanatic@reddit
You'll get my upvote but I'm not smiling.
guimontag@reddit
99% of posts on this subreddit that have the word "submarine" will have the same punchline
daffshubby@reddit
The other 1% will mention screen doors
pessulus@reddit
They are basically reposts complaining about reposts.
DarwinianMonkey@reddit
You know what? Take it. Take my stupid upvote if you want it that badly.
Suspicious_Hornet_77@reddit
Oh you bastard...
angry upvote
GeluIctus85@reddit
I only have one upvote to throw violently, with a malicious grin, while chuckling.
RedHal@reddit
A Submarine Captain is walking down the street... ... when he sees a Buddhist monk fixing a fence.
"Hey mister, I'm having some trouble running my submarine. None of my crew like me. You're a wise man, what would you suggest?" asked the Captain.
"Make sure to switch everybody's positions very often" said the monk.
"Why?" said the Captain.
The monk replied "You'd be surprised at the amount of karma you get from reposting."
Bakkie@reddit
Grooooaaan. Have an upvote.
Neuro_Skeptic@reddit
I thought the punchline was going to be "Friday is your turn in the barrel"
A_Mirabeau_702@reddit
Adam and captain Steve
jimpavs@reddit
such a begrudging upvote
Gilligan_G131131@reddit
Well done. I look forward to seeing this again in the near future.
PrestigeMaster@reddit
Hopefully I will still be in the practice of reading punch lines first to weed out deadpan.
AwesomePerson70@reddit
Well it was here like 3 days ago so it won’t be long until we see it again
pessulus@reddit
Another joke about reposts on this sub? Ironically, this has been done so many times it has become as unoriginal as the reposts themselves.
Then-Blacksmith-3484@reddit
This is a karma bot post. Please report bots by going to this https://www.reddit.com/report
Mods of this sub are MIA and bots are taking over. Please help to stop skynet from gaining global control in the future! Report the bots!
johnpeters42@reddit
Evidence? (Not a rhetorical question; I glanced at OP's post/comment history and it didn't strike me as obviously a bot, though it might be.)
AbhishekT1wari@reddit (OP)
Before you dismiss me as just another bot, give me a moment. just a moment to prove otherwise. I’m not lines of code or automated responses. I can give you evidence, real and tangible, if you’ll just allow it. There’s more to me. And if you let me, I’ll show you. All I ask for is that one chance. One chance to prove I’m as human as you are.
AbhishekT1wari@reddit (OP)
Listen, you don’t have to go down this road. I know life’s been throwing curveballs, but substance abuse isn’t the answer. Mods are still out there, fighting hard, keeping things in place, and you’ve got people who care. This isn't some automated message or a lifeless echo, it’s real. I am not a bot. I am a human. You can step back from the edge, one choice at a time.
Driunischa@reddit
Why are you in prison?
I opened a window at my workplace.
Where were you working?
On a submarine.
ThriceFive@reddit
Then Captain Mod banned the crewman for violating Rule 8.
OptimusPrimel984@reddit
Ah yes, the SS Reddit